Is Anyone Here Genuinely Detached ?

[rush]

Out of interest, is anyone here genuinely detached from needing others, or achieving a purpose in their life ? Or even self actualisation altogether ?

It seems like a very difficult thing to be genuinely detached as mainstream society pretty much puts it out there that you need relationships, careers to be satisfied, so for those who are, how do you deal with majority of your friends/family believing the opposite, and how do you get there ? How do you know your not lying to yourself either with your level of progress 

[cirkussmile]

Detachement is not the same as living without things and love needs practice. The thoughts about things being difficult is the thing that stops us from detach. But don't stress too much about it, it will be alright! 

[Prabhaker]

4 hours ago, rush said:

is anyone here genuinely detached from needing others

We are born alone, we die alone. Between these two realities we create a thousand and one illusions of being together - all kinds of relationships, friends and enemies, loves and hates, nations, races, religions. We create all kinds of hallucinations just to avoid one fact: that we are alone. But whatsoever we do, the truth cannot be changed. It is so, and rather than trying to escape from it, the best way is to rejoice in it.

Rejoicing in your own aloneness is what meditation is all about. The meditator is one who dives deep into one´s aloneness, knowing that we are born alone, we will be dying alone, and deep down we are living alone. So why not experience what this aloneness is? It is our very nature, our very being.

4 hours ago, rush said:

It seems like a very difficult thing to be genuinely detached as mainstream society

East have done a deeper research. We have discovered that when a person stays wholly within himself, then all relationships dissolve. It is a very fortunate thing to happen; it is not something to be unhappy about. When a person becomes stable within himself, sex dissolves and the keenness to make relationships with others also disappears. The feeling of gratitude is so much that one does not want to make any relationship with anyone. No longer will that person beg of others to have some relationship with him, no longer will he say that "I cannot live without you." Now he can live alone. And the person who can live alone, really lives! The other type of living is only a deception, an illusion. If you cannot live alone how can you live with others?

Man ordinarily lives in loneliness. To avoid loneliness, he creates all kinds of relationships, friendships, organizations, political parties, religions and what not. But the basic thing is that he is very much afraid of being lonely. Loneliness is a black hole, a darkness, a frightening negative state almost like death … as if you are being swallowed by death itself. To avoid it, you run out and fall into anybody, just to hold somebody’s hand, to feel that you are not lonely… Nothing hurts more than loneliness.

But the trouble is, any relationship that arises out of the fear of being lonely is not going to be a blissful experience, because the other is also joining you out of fear. 

Aloneness is our very nature, but we are not aware of it. Because we are not aware of it, we remain strangers to ourselves, and instead of seeing our aloneness as a tremendous beauty and bliss, silence and peace, at-easeness with existence, we misunderstand it as loneliness.

Loneliness is a misunderstood aloneness. Once you misunderstand your aloneness as loneliness, the whole context changes. Aloneness has a beauty and grandeur, a positivity; loneliness is poor, negative, dark, dismal.

Everybody is running away from loneliness. It is like a wound; it hurts. To escape from it, the only way is to be in a crowd, to become part of a society, to have friends, to create a family, to have husbands and wives, to have children. In this crowd, the basic effort is that you will be able to forget your loneliness.

The ordinary man goes on trying to forget his loneliness, and the meditator starts getting more and more acquainted with his aloneness. He has left the world; he has gone to the caves, to the mountains, to the forest, just for the sake of being alone. He wants to know who he is. In the crowd, it is difficult; there are so many disturbances. And those who have known their aloneness have known the greatest blissfulness possible to human beings – because your very being is blissful.

After being in tune with your aloneness, you can relate; then your relationship will bring great joys to you, because it is not out of fear. Finding your aloneness you can create, you can be involved in as many things as you want, because this involvement will not anymore be running away from yourself. Now it will be your expression; now it will be the manifestation of all that is your potential.

Only such a man – whether he lives alone or lives in the society, whether he marries or lives unmarried makes no difference – is always blissful, peaceful, silent. His life is a dance, is a song, is a flowering, is a fragrance. Whatever he does, he brings his fragrance to it.

But the first basic thing is to know your aloneness absolutely.

This escape from yourself you have learned from the crowd. Because everybody is escaping, you start escaping. Every child is born in a crowd and starts imitating people; what others are doing, he starts doing. He falls into the same miserable situations as others are in, and he starts thinking that this is what life is all about. And he has missed life completely.

[egoeimai]

9 hours ago, rush said:

Out of interest, is anyone here genuinely detached from needing others, or achieving a purpose in their life ? Or even self actualisation altogether ?

It seems like a very difficult thing to be genuinely detached as mainstream society pretty much puts it out there that you need relationships, careers to be satisfied, so for those who are, how do you deal with majority of your friends/family believing the opposite, and how do you get there ? How do you know your not lying to yourself either with your level of progress 

I don't actually know If there is anyone here,you should make a poll. If you're lucky,some of them will be truthful.

This is one of the rarest things in this world. To be detached. 

To be honest,some of us are the 'rebels' who go against the flow as far as society rules. But does that apply to detachment? I dont think that it is the same thing. The sure thing is that I know you can't help but have desires. You will never ease to have,and shouldn't either. But I think with ehat you've saidyou mean happy or unhappy ppl. Because attached ppl are often called unhappy, so detached are the happy ppl. And yes, I think most of us are unhappy_atttached, we base our happiness in conditions. So finally, there are no detached ppl, or its rare sight.

Edited March 6, 2017 by egoeimai

[Bob84]

11 hours ago, rush said:

Out of interest, is anyone here genuinely detached from needing others, or achieving a purpose in their life ? Or even self actualisation altogether ?

It seems like a very difficult thing to be genuinely detached as mainstream society pretty much puts it out there that you need relationships, careers to be satisfied, so for those who are, how do you deal with majority of your friends/family believing the opposite, and how do you get there ? How do you know your not lying to yourself either with your level of progress 

What is genuinely but a list of requirements for validation
Instead of trying to detach from things (which is actually nothing more then more mental masturbation) you need to stop attaching to things.
I prefer to call it freedom from ego, as attachment in a sense still happens after detachment, It is however voluntarily and observable.
Imagine masturbating without attachment... boooring

[Nahm]

@rush IMO, you mixed detached and satisfied. They don't work together.  Satisfaction is the result of having something you felt attached to.

Detachment includes detachment to satisfaction, as it's the root desire of attachment.

Desire and attachment are fine, if you can get to the place where they are fine. We're all working with connotations. 

[dorg]

@rush You can still lead a 'normal' life and be detached; still have a family, friends, etc. However you are not mentally attached to anything as you are in a higher consciousness, a different mind, another dimension - whilst still appearing here on Earth. You can move to this dimension gradually by mentally discarding attachments; you do not need to physically discard them.

Detachment is all about what you value. Start with what you least value. If you value peace the most you can mentally discard everything gradually.

I am working through this.

Edited March 6, 2017 by dorg