My social needs are nearly 0?

[KaRzual]

Hey

I'm not really looking for a quick fix, rather i'd like to hear your perspectives/thoughts.

 

So lately i'm experiencing that i'd rather sit alone than meet other people. Maybe there are like 10 people overall that i'd like to meet and spend time with.

 

I get nearly no satisfaction or positive feelings when meeting people. It's quite opposite actually - being around people (outside of professional cases) stresses the shit out of me. I guess it's like that for some time, but i came to this conclusion lately being open with myself.

 

As i'm pretty ok with that i'd like to hear your thoughts. Maybe in my current life-time i did not find "the right" people or i just don't need it?

 

I don't know.

 

Please share your experiences, i'll highly appreciate it.

 

Thanks.

 

 

 

[Arthogaan]

It's fine. Number of people I meet with is steadily lowering since I started to follow spirituality. Besides my fiance, I meet regularly with max 2 people like once every 2 months. I love it. But I also know that it is such time for me and that in the near future I may become more social. So maybe this is what your path needs now.

Know yourself, accept yourself, become the creator.

[KaRzual]

Thank you.

Why do you think it's such time for you now?

[Arthogaan]

Because I have to focus now on finishing my university, saving money whilst maintaining high level of consciousness. Not much place for casual people.

[Blackbeat]

Impressive, Personal development has had a positive effect on you for sure so far. No need to socialize for sure when lofty goals are present!

[Willie]

17 hours ago, KaRzual said:

Hey

I'm not really looking for a quick fix, rather i'd like to hear your perspectives/thoughts.

 

So lately i'm experiencing that i'd rather sit alone than meet other people. Maybe there are like 10 people overall that i'd like to meet and spend time with.

 

I get nearly no satisfaction or positive feelings when meeting people. It's quite opposite actually - being around people (outside of professional cases) stresses the shit out of me. I guess it's like that for some time, but i came to this conclusion lately being open with myself.

 

As i'm pretty ok with that i'd like to hear your thoughts. Maybe in my current life-time i did not find "the right" people or i just don't need it?

 

I don't know.

 

Please share your experiences, i'll highly appreciate it.

 

Thanks.

 

 

 

It’s entirely up to you whether or not this is a problem that needs fixing.

I had a similar issue when the pandemic hit and we had the lockdown. I left work and stayed almost entirely alone for months, and it was great! People were getting pissed off and protesting the lockdown, and getting sick all over the place. I felt so secure with myself and society at large felt so cringey and inept as I looked at what was going on. 
 

So I saw that as a problem. Why should I be happy while people get so mad or sick and dying? I’ve been working on meeting people slowly since then after I got the vaccine and booster. I’m trying to have a social life that’s not so barren it’s unaffected by a global pandemic and subsequent isolation. I’m trying to not just be happy with myself, but also other people. I’ve been very misanthropic and I’m trying to correct that.

But maybe you don’t have that problem!

[BlessedLion]

I think this channel generalñy attracts these kind of people. I'm like this too. Recently I've been more focused on quality over quantity and a romantic partner

[Manusia]

@KaRzual

I can relate to your feelings about preferring to be alone rather than with people. I used to feel the same way, but over time I realized that my perspective was limited by my own unconscious biases and judgments. I thought that I had higher standards than others, but in reality, I was just focusing on the negativity and not seeing the positive aspects of the people around me.

However, as I delved deeper into my own thoughts and feelings, I realized that the root cause of my discomfort around people was actually due to some unresolved social trauma. I had unconsciously developed the belief that I was somehow better than others, and this belief was causing me a lot of stress. But through my journey of self-reflection and growth, I learned to let go of this belief and focus on our shared humanity. I began to see that we all have our own strengths and weaknesses, and that everyone is unique in their own way.

I also started to actively seek out experiences that would help me connect with people on a deeper level. I focused on feeling love through interactions and tried to see the positive in everyone, even when it wasn't immediately obvious.

It's been a slow and ongoing process, but I've found that it has helped me to grow and heal. I hope that you can find the same sense of peace and connection with others through your own journey.

I now consider being surrounded by good people as essential for me. It gives me at least one person to communicate with and share my innermost thoughts. You may not have found your people yet.

[ZenAlex]

I think I may have schizoid personality disorder.

I feel similar to you, you should look it up.

[flowboy]

On 29/01/2023 at 10:43 AM, KaRzual said:

So lately i'm experiencing that i'd rather sit alone than meet other people. Maybe there are like 10 people overall that i'd like to meet and spend time with.

So? That's a lot of friends already.

Why are you making yourself meet people you don't like?

Is the real question, IMO.

Before we go on diagnosing you with stuff, aren't you just preferring fewer high quality connections over being in a large herd?

Herds are stressful to me too because you can only be a superficial self.

Edited January 30, 2023 by flowboy

[TheNovice]

Try to distinguish between: 

 

Healthy detachment from socializing from doing spirituality and personal development.

VS

Unhealthy repression of socializing caused by anxiety and the lack of ability to connect to others, etc.

 

You probably have a mix of both of these. 

Even tho you generally can be happy with little social interaction. It is still important to have the ability to socialize effectively and enjoy it since it's a part of life and you can't avoid it. 

 

Transcend and include. 

[Mormegil]

First of all if you have 10 people that you like to spend your time with, that's already quite a few. Are those really close friends with who you share your thoughts and feelings? or just some casual buddies?

Persobally I prefer having only a handful but really close friends. Quality over quantity is more important to me. But everyone is free to construct their social life how they like it.

However you said you feel stressed around people. So I wonder: do you suffer from kind of social anciety or phobia? Is the fact that you experience stress in those situations the real reason why you don't want to socialize (which would be avoidance of some psychological imbalance), or is it that you REALLY feel like you don't gain anything from socializing too much (like a classic introvert).

Those might be things you want to ask yourself. Avoidance is obviously not healthy and would that there is some deeper issue you need to tackle.

[inFlow]

On 1/29/2023 at 11:43 AM, KaRzual said:

I get nearly no satisfaction or positive feelings when meeting people. It's quite opposite actually - being around people (outside of professional cases) stresses the shit out of me. I guess it's like that for some time, but i came to this conclusion lately being open with myself.

You are just tired to play this game of illusion. That means playing your Ego role in society, being something that you have no interest to do. Also this takes energy out of you when you no longer have the need to be somebody in front of someone. It's totally fine, I'm also like that. Being alone, on a day off, not doing anything, for me is a great joy in life. Don't feel bad about it, just learn to live with it and EMBRACE it. Of course don't lock yourself out of everything, but you probably know this and live a well balanced life.