How to integrate God Realization (your help is really appreciated!)

[Gneh Onebar]

This is my first post in a long time. So, a few months ago I had some form of god realization after a meditation session while being sober (no use of psychedelics, but it really had a psychedelic vibe). After the meditation I joined my girlfriend in the living room to watch a Netflix show. When I entered the room it hit me like a train. The living room I saw was the only space in existence and it was eternal. Everything I saw was hyperreal and it felt sort of multidimensional. My mind was instantly so still, that I felt dead. At the same time I felt so much energy in my body that I could barely breath or speak. I was in absolute shock. Then a few 'thoughts' or insights were arising. There is no yoga, no meditation, no reincarnation, no Buddhism, no spiritual masters, no life, no time, no space, no Enlightenment or way to liberation, no actualized.org (well, where the hell am I posting this stuff here and to whom am I speaking? :)); there is just me, tadaaaaa! Or at least all these things are not absolute Truth, they are a form of storytelling. I looked at my girlfriend and didn't really know what I was looking at. I touched her and it felt like touching myself. Suddenly my shock turned into absolute horniness and we had sex. Well, having sex helped me to ground myself.

Since this day it happens, that I spontaneously shift into extremely elevated states of consciousness (even writing about this changes my state). Sometimes I feel like I have no boundaries at all or times just stops. I feel like dying over and over again. I go trough some sort of madness and insanity. Once my body was asleep but I was still there watching myself sleeping.

The problem is, I can't really control the shifts, they just happen and often-times there also is a lot of fear (like panic attacks). I also have a hard time dealing with loneliness or meaninglessness. Sometimes the fear of losing everything I have arises (my girlfriend, my family, my friends, my sanity, well my life, myself).

So, how do I deal with all this, while also living a 'good life' (I love life). Don't get me wrong, it's not like everything is bad, but it just is so much (sometimes too much), at times it feels so fucking shocking and overwhelming.

Here are a few questions:

• How do you deal with the feeling of being all alone?
• How can I overcome my fear? (How do you deal with groundlessness, insanity etc.)
• How do you deal with meaninglessness? Why doing anything at all (It seems like I am going through a dark night of the soul, which is from the highest point of view also just storytelling)
• Do you have a life purpose after god realization? (when everything seems meaningless, having a life purpose also feels meaningless)
• Is there something I can do to get control over the shifts?
• How do I awaken into Love? (maybe by embracing all my fears an working through them)

If you have some ideas just write them down – your help is really appreciated. By the way I don't claim to be enlightened or something like that. In fact enlightenment just seems like another story.

Edited January 28, 2023 by Gneh Onebar

[Shawn Philips]

All your questions (alone, fear, meaninlessness) are disolved when you understand totally the nature of reality, because  you just trust the plan.

First take into consideration that all you call reality, and this material world, is being created, thought, or dreamed (whatever you prefer to call it) by God's mind. Reality is mental, your life is a dream, so technically your are not alone in the dream, everybody exist... but is being created by God's mind.

Nothing changes, because although anything exist you have a little part of divinie consciousness inside of you, and me, your family, friends...

So you have the power to change or co-create the dream. Is it meaningless? Of course not.

You are God and have the right to do whatever you want, it's your dream, well our dream with infinite possibilities awakening for you.

Edited January 28, 2023 by Shawn Philips

[Leo Gura]

5 hours ago, Gneh Onebar said:

There is no yoga, no meditation, no reincarnation, no Buddhism, no spiritual masters, no life, no time, no space, no Enlightenment or way to liberation, no actualized.org (well, where the hell am I posting this stuff here and to whom am I speaking? :)); there is just me, tadaaaaa!

Yup! Exactly!

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Since this day it happens, that I spontaneously shift into extremely elevated states of consciousness (even writing about this changes my state). Sometimes I feel like I have no boundaries at all or times just stops. I feel like dying over and over again. I go trough some sort of madness and insanity. Once my body was asleep but I was still there watching myself sleeping.

Good!

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The problem is, I can't really control the shifts, they just happen and often-times there also is a lot of fear (like panic attacks). I also have a hard time dealing with loneliness or meaninglessness. Sometimes the fear of losing everything I have arises (my girlfriend, my family, my friends, my sanity, well my life, myself).

You gotta train yourself to just enjoy the Beauty of Consciousness itself. Sit and enjoy being hyper conscious. Stop distracting yourself with human crap. Appreciate the Eternity and divinity of Consciousness.

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Here are a few questions:

• How do you deal with the feeling of being all alone?

Sit and enjoy Consciousness.

Quote

• How can I overcome my fear? (How do you deal with groundlessness, insanity etc.)

What are you afraid of? Sit and enjoy Consciousness.

Quote

• How do you deal with meaninglessness? Why doing anything at all (It seems like I am going through a dark night of the soul, which is from the highest point of view also just storytelling)

Sit and enjoy Consciousness.

Quote

• Do you have a life purpose after god realization? (when everything seems meaningless, having a life purpose also feels meaningless)

Yes, you can still have an LP. Do whatever you find beautiful and interesting within Consciousness.

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• Is there something I can do to get control over the shifts?

Don't try to control, rather enjoy the process of letting go and surrender to the Beauty and Intelligence of Consciousness.

Quote

• How do I awaken into Love? (maybe by embracing all my fears an working through them)

Psychedelics or lots of meditation

Edited January 28, 2023 by Leo Gura

[ivankiss]

7 hours ago, Gneh Onebar said:

 

• How do you deal with the feeling of being all alone?

It's a void that only Love can fill.

7 hours ago, Gneh Onebar said:

 

• How can I overcome my fear? (How do you deal with groundlessness, insanity etc.)

Survive.

7 hours ago, Gneh Onebar said:

 

• How do you deal with meaninglessness? Why doing anything at all (It seems like I am going through a dark night of the soul, which is from the highest point of view also just storytelling)

Create meaning. Tell the most epic story you can imagine.

7 hours ago, Gneh Onebar said:

• Do you have a life purpose after god realization? (when everything seems meaningless, having a life purpose also feels meaningless)

It's a part of the story you're telling. There could be a purpose or there could not be a purpose. Up to you.

7 hours ago, Gneh Onebar said:

 

• Is there something I can do to get control over the shifts?

Breathe consciously.

7 hours ago, Gneh Onebar said:

 

• How do I awaken into Love? (maybe by embracing all my fears an working through them)

Love yourself more not less.

[Gneh Onebar]

15 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

What are you afraid of? Sit and enjoy Consciousness.

Well, sometimes I am afraid of myself. I definitely don't know myself in every way possible. And it seems, that the 'process' of discovering myself turns out to be infinite.

Thx a lot for your answers, guys.  

[Leo Gura]

29 minutes ago, Gneh Onebar said:

Well, sometimes I am afraid of myself.

Well, this work takes courage.

[Breakingthewall]

On 28/1/2023 at 4:49 PM, Gneh Onebar said:

How do you deal with the feeling of being all alone?

You are not alone because "you" and "alone" implies limits. There are no limits. The you that you are perceiving now and the loneliness are not real. The infinity is not alone. 

On 28/1/2023 at 4:49 PM, Gneh Onebar said:

How can I overcome my fear? (How do you deal with groundlessness, insanity etc.)

You will get used to the freedom. Reality is absolute freedom. 

On 28/1/2023 at 4:49 PM, Gneh Onebar said:

How do you deal with meaninglessness? Why doing anything at all (It seems like I am going through a dark night of the soul, which is from the highest point of view also just storytelling)

Just enjoy existence. Work in everything in you that prevent you to enjoy existence

On 28/1/2023 at 4:49 PM, Gneh Onebar said:

Do you have a life purpose after god realization? (when everything seems meaningless, having a life purpose also feels meaningless)

Enjoy life.

On 28/1/2023 at 4:49 PM, Gneh Onebar said:

How do I awaken into Love? (maybe by embracing all my fears an working through them)

Look into yourself and understand the fear, the attachment, what in you is preventing you from the pure joy of being 

[WelcometoReality]

@Gneh Onebar It's a new way of being and can feel terrifying in the beginning but you will soon find your way through this. ?

[Gneh Onebar]

22 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Well, this work takes courage.

Absolutely, and there is no way going back.

[Mormegil]

On 28.1.2023 at 4:49 PM, Gneh Onebar said:

How do I awaken into Love? (maybe by embracing all my fears an working through them)

Yep, for me when I really deeply consciouly outsit my fears they turn into acceptance, letting go and sometimes ultimately completely self-love and the love for everything around me, where is see the beauty in everything.

fear seems to be some kind of gate keeper of absolute love

Edited January 30, 2023 by Mormegil

[Gneh Onebar]

22 hours ago, WelcometoReality said:

@Gneh Onebar It's a new way of being and can feel terrifying in the beginning but you will soon find your way through this. ?

I hope so. Thx for your messgae.  

[Gneh Onebar]

3 hours ago, Mormegil said:

Yep, for me when I really deeply consciouly outsit my fears they turn into acceptance, letting go and sometimes ultimately completely self-love and the love for everything around me, where is see the beauty in everything.

fear seems to be some kind of gate keeper of absolute love

Sounds good! I will 'work' through my fears.

[Gneh Onebar]

On 29.1.2023 at 6:02 PM, Breakingthewall said:

You are not alone because "you" and "alone" implies limits. There are no limits. The you that you are perceiving now and the loneliness are not real. The infinity is not alone. 

Thats and interesting take. I see, what you mean.

[michaelcycle00]

On 1/29/2023 at 9:02 AM, Breakingthewall said:

You are not alone because "you" and "alone" implies limits. There are no limits. The you that you are perceiving now and the loneliness are not real. The infinity is not alone. 

Let me guess, you say it’s not alone because it has an “infinity” of itself?

Lol, sorry but it doesn’t matter… it’s still one and alone and quite clearly none of that is gonna change no matter how much we want it to.

Rather just be stoic about it and accept the hard truth than tell yourself another story to be at peace with creation. 

[Breakingthewall]

2 hours ago, michaelcycle00 said:

Lol, sorry but it doesn’t matter… it’s still one and alone and quite clearly none of that is gonna change no matter how much we want it to.

Rather just be stoic about it and accept the hard truth than tell yourself another story to be at peace with creation. 

infinity is not one, it is not two. it's another dimension. just infinity. there is no loneliness in the absence of limits, there is absolute freedom. 

when you think: I am god and I am alone, you are thinking from the limited self. You can't see it from the bottomless pit that you really are

[inFlow]

On 1/28/2023 at 5:49 PM, Gneh Onebar said:

Suddenly my shock turned into absolute horniness and we had sex.

HAHA - what a typical distraction of the Mind. 

 

On 1/28/2023 at 5:49 PM, Gneh Onebar said:

Well, having sex helped me to ground myself.

*distract myself

On 1/28/2023 at 5:49 PM, Gneh Onebar said:

The problem is, I can't really control the shifts, they just happen and often-times there also is a lot of fear (like panic attacks). I also have a hard time dealing with loneliness or meaninglessness. Sometimes the fear of losing everything I have arises (my girlfriend, my family, my friends, my sanity, well my life, myself).

The mind is still wanting to Ground itself in illusion. The ego is still not dead.

 

On 1/28/2023 at 5:49 PM, Gneh Onebar said:

(It seems like I am going through a dark night of the soul, which is from the highest point of view also just storytelling)

You are lost in meaning. That is a crucial epistemological thing in this work. Contemplate what is meaning deeply.

 

On 1/28/2023 at 5:49 PM, Gneh Onebar said:

How do I awaken into Love?

Contemplate what is Love, start with "human" love, like kisses, hugs, etc. and go down to the point where you could see that your chair is Love.

On 1/28/2023 at 5:49 PM, Gneh Onebar said:

In fact enlightenment just seems like another story.

A story that you created

[Kshantivadin]

 

 

[Kshantivadin]

5 hours ago, michaelcycle00 said:

Let me guess, you say it’s not alone because it has an “infinity” of itself?

Lol, sorry but it doesn’t matter… it’s still one and alone and quite clearly none of that is gonna change no matter how much we want it to.

Rather just be stoic about it and accept the hard truth than tell yourself another story to be at peace with creation. 

It's an infinity of the One, not the one you, michaelcycle00, as that, with all due respect, would be a lousy company 

[Gneh Onebar]

3 hours ago, inFlow said:

HAHA - what a typical distraction of the Mind. 

In this case it indeed was a distraction of the mind. However I had my first awakening while having sex. For me real sex is a way to awakening - at least thats the story I tell.  

[inFlow]

29 minutes ago, Gneh Onebar said:

For me real sex is a way to awakening

Of course. That's tantra. Inner energy work.