StarStruck

Problem with PUA culture: transactionality of the relationship

9 posts in this topic

Almost all healthy human relationships are transactional (something of value exchanged for something else of value). The problem is when you focus on the transaction and not on the dignity and humanity of the person. This happens when you treat the other person or yourself as tool. If we use a person as we would use a thing, instead of extending our being, we degrade that person and ourselves.


In Tate we trust

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I couldn't agree more. A lot of the humanity's problems stem from treating other people as objects rather than divine beings like you yourself. Sometimes we don't even realise we're doing it, we have to be vigilant at all times.

Edited by LastThursday

All stories and explanations are false.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
28 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

I couldn't agree more. A lot of the humanity's problems stem from treating other people as objects rather than divine beings like you yourself. Sometimes we don't even realise we're doing it, we have to be vigilant at all times.

You don't stand above it though, would you accept a 60 year old as your life partner?


In Tate we trust

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, StarStruck said:

You don't stand above it though, would you accept a 60 year old as your life partner?

He doesn't have to be physically attracted to her in order to see her as the human being she is, with dignity and humanity. Not everything is about sex romantic relationships and attraction. 


Let Love In

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

He doesn't have to be physically attracted to her in order to see her as the human being she is, with dignity and humanity. Not everything is about sex romantic relationships and attraction. 

Between friendships even age gap relationship there is some transactionality. If you I can pick apart one of your relationships. 


In Tate we trust

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What prevents you from doing pick up an treat woman humanly at the same time? don´t get your point

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Between friendships even age gap relationship there is some transactionality. If you I can pick apart one of your relationships. 

It's not necessary black or white, you may get a practical value from a person and at the same time see, love and appriciate the human being they are. 

 


Let Love In

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Most pickup guys objectify women, it's just easier to get lots of sex that way.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 hours ago, StarStruck said:

You don't stand above it though, would you accept a 60 year old as your life partner?

Yes. You? I'm not sure of your point though.

Transactionality is built into human relations, reciprocality being the main driver, as you mentioned. You're right that we do use each other to get our needs met, but that can be done without objectification or just using others as a means to an end.

In terms of pickup, as soon as you approach, both parties generally understand what is going on - there's a transactional aspect to it. But, whatever occurs, you can have a mindset whereby you treat the other person as you would want yourself treated: as a person with a history, a family, friends and their own fears and insecurities, and their own thoughts. If you do that, then it puts a different complexion on the interaction.

Pickup (aka talking to people you find attractive), is not bad in itself. It's just the heavy emphasis on manipulation techniques, scatter gun approach, and a degree of potential harrassment, that's off. Even the name is suggestive of taking an "object". But that's my personal opinion.

Edited by LastThursday

All stories and explanations are false.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now