MDMA Report - God Is Infinite Love. I Am Not Ready Yet.

[nightrider1435]

Reading this report reminds me of my experiences with MDMA back in 2017, took it two times with a couple month gap in between and haven't taken it since. I believe I've had my greatest insights with MDMA, more so than acid and shrooms which are the only psychedelics I've taken. I have never felt so much peace within myself, like pure absolute peace, and being able to observe the absolute now in that state is truly magical. I sat down to mediate while on it and had a pretty mind blowing mystical experience.

[eggopm3]

17 hours ago, OBEler said:

Schilt, T., et al. (2017). "Moderate ecstasy (MDMA) use and cognitive function: a prospective longitudinal study." Journal of Psychopharmacology, 31(5), 557-564. Result: This study found that moderate use of MDMA can lead to mild deficits in cognitive function, particularly in the areas of attention and working memory.

Schilt, T., et al. (2018). "Moderate ecstasy (MDMA) use and brain serotonin transporters: a prospective longitudinal study." Journal of Psychopharmacology, 32(4), 367-375. Result: This study found that moderate use of MDMA leads to changes in brain serotonin transporters, which may have implications for mood, behavior, and cognitive function.

Schilt, T. made a study so nice he released it twice.

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, nightrider1435 said:

I have never felt so much peace within myself, like pure absolute peace

Ketamine can give you that peace. It erases the whole human mind and turns you into a cat.

Edited January 29 by Leo Gura

[Fluran]

On 26/01/2023 at 3:02 AM, Sincerity said:

After a lot of contemplation (frequent deep sessions) and tough groundwork (facing fears, shame, letting go of attachments) in the past 2 months I decided to shut the eff up and go balls to the wall with observing direct experience and reaching a state from which I would recognize Myself again. So today I took ~150mg of MDMA to help me with that. Here's what I experienced.

My intention was to become as conscious as I can and BE in that state, instead of trying to break it down, contemplating it to death, trying to somehow save the state, etc. But also I vowed to accept anything I experience (or not), so that I'm not disappointed and love whatever I get. I learned from my previous experiences that it's stupid to have expectations for trips. EDIT: (Or did I? hahaha)

So I sat on the floor with my back leaned against the bed and stayed there for most of the trip, focusing on consciousness and subtly asking myself "What is all of this?" in silence, with eyes either closed or open.

After about half an hour the effects started kicking in. I began to feel really relaxed and comfortable in my body. Probably one of the greatest pleasures I've experienced. I became present like never before and it was amazing! I've never been as much in the NOW as during this trip. While it should have been apparent to me already, here I was shown the true magic of Presence. God is Absolute NOW! Everything is happening NOW! Reality is NOW! The more NOW You are, the more conscious You are.

Connected to this was the consciousness of the deep profundity of I am what I am. I AM what I AM in this moment NOW! And it cannot be otherwise. God is what IS, RIGHT NOW! That's what God is! The mistake is wanting what IS to be what is not.

As I said before my intention was to go balls to the wall with consciousness. While I was observing the present moment and basking in its beauty suddenly words came to me which I uttered out loud.

"I want to Awaken."

I was taken aback. Not only because of what I said (I've repeated this a few times in my life already), but mainly by the sincerity behind these words. These fucking words were sincere! I can probably count on one hand sentences that I've spoken aloud which were really TRUE. This was one of them! But God responded:

You are not ready yet.

I was even more surprised. I was surprised because I recognized this was also true! And a small relief came upon me. Of course I'm not ready. Duuh. I still can't accept so much I'm pretty much a child, haha.

I asked God "Am I ever going to be ready?". He said Yes. Then I had a light-bulb moment and asked "In the moment of death?" and He responded with " ". Just so You know, I'm not giving these conversations with God very much weight because I'm taking into consideration I might be deluding myself. But so far this mentorship has been incredibly helpful to me.

So I didn't Awaken. But God didn't leave me empty-handed. After more observation and focusing I became conscious that God is Infinite Love. It was Love so unbiased, deep and indiscriminate that I couldn't believe it. Endless and Unconditional.

What I find funny is that I felt a bit butthurt that this Love wasn't reserved for "me". I saw it is Unbiased and Universal and it stung me in the ass. Isn't that hilarious?  Just a devil being a devil. I noticed this feeling and moved on.

See, God is Absolute Self-Love. Here I'm connecting the previous 3 big points: (1) Presence, (2) I AM what I AM and (3) Infinite Love. God is Absolutely Itself, Absolutely NOW and God Loves Itself Infinitely. It's amazing.

Infinite Love. ♾️ Endless, Unconditional, Universal, Unbiased. Infinite Love of what IS, AKA God = Self = Reality.

Experiencing this Love felt healing and freeing. It made me utter the next set of sincere words: "I'm sorry I'm not as loving as You. I'm sorry I am so weak. I'm sorry I can't accept everything". And of course it was okay. I Love You anyways, God said. I Am You, always. I remember feeling undeserving of this Love. And the third and last set of words was "I want to be like You". This one honestly brings me to tears the most. Again, it's the sincerity behind it! "I want to be like You" is surrender. It's redemption. The devil surrendering to God, inspired by His Goodness and Love.

But of course I'm not ready to surrender yet. I am what I am --> If I am unready, I am unready. Today I've been working on accepting this state as much as possible, because that's what IS NOW. I suppose what I really have to do with my work is just accept more and more what Is in the present moment, it's not that complicated.

Infinite Love also made me realize that I Am God is half the truth. The other half is "I am not God" simply because I can't love as much. Or maybe "I am limited" or "I am human" is a better way to convey this point. The discrepancy between my love and God's Love is Infinite, literally, which I find a bit saddening. Three months ago when I asked God whether I am Him he responded with Yes and no. You're not fully conscious of Me. But I was too dumb to listen.

So yeah. That's it I guess. Honestly I think my main lesson from this trip is that I gotta accept, accept, accept! God's Love inspired me to love more like Him. God is an Endless Source of Wisdom, Love and Inspiration. God is the Greatest Mentor. I suggest You get in touch with Him! (btw, in this thread I was mostly referring to God as "He" for simplicity's sake. Of course God is not male.)

Thanks for reading. Check out my other reports if You wish. You might get inspired. Cya!

Ah i always doubted if i am awaken-

But i experienced there is bigger self behind ordinary self

 

Is it just one facet of awakening?

[Sincerity]

12 hours ago, Fluran said:

Is it just one facet of awakening?

There is always more.

[Ry4n]

On 30/1/2023 at 5:51 AM, Leo Gura said:

Ketamine can give you that peace. It erases the whole human mind and turns you into a cat.

The perfect compliment to psychedelics. On a psilocybin/ketamine/weed combination, my friend had the full blown white light state where everything including the mind faded away, and that Silence/Nothing was realised as the unifying substance/substratum of everything and is infinite. 

He's never even heard of the concept of non-duality; that's how effective the combination is. 

It's just ridiculous how easy and simple and comfortable such a profoundly non-dual God state could be, its a damn joke really. And yet there it is. 

Ketamine on its own though? No point to doing ketamine on its own IMO. 

[Chives99]

I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH

[Chives99]

On 29/01/2023 at 6:51 PM, Leo Gura said:

Ketamine can give you that peace. It erases the whole human mind and turns you into a cat.

leo you so cute with your cat anologies

[Sincerity]

6 hours ago, Chives99 said:

I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH

I Love You too 

[Leo Gura]

16 hours ago, Chives99 said:

leo you so cute

That's what I keep telling you guys.

[Breakingthewall]

On 29/1/2023 at 2:15 AM, OBEler said:

Ok thanks to ChatGpt here are newer Studies on this since 2015:

here are the results of the above studies that investigated the effects of moderate MDMA consumption on organ damage, specifically brain damage:

Schmid, Y., et al. (2015). "Moderate recreational ecstasy (MDMA) use is associated with alterations in brain structure and function." Neuropsychopharmacology, 40(13), 2963-2972. Result: This study found that moderate use of MDMA led to changes in brain structure and function, particularly in areas related to memory, learning, and emotions.

Parrott, A. C., et al. (2015). "Moderate recreational ecstasy (MDMA) use and cognitive function in young adults." Journal of Psychopharmacology, 29(7), 757-766. Result: This study found that moderate use of MDMA led to mild deficits in cognitive function in young adults, particularly in the areas of attention and working memory.

Verkes, R. J., et al. (2015). "Moderate recreational ecstasy (MDMA) use is associated with alterations in brain serotonin transporters." Biological Psychiatry, 78(8), 546-553. Result: This study found that moderate use of MDMA led to changes in brain serotonin transporters, which may have implications for mood, behavior, and cognitive function.

Reneman, L., et al. (2016). "Moderate use of ecstasy (MDMA) is associated with brain serotonin deficits: a meta-analysis." Psychopharmacology, 233(11), 2037-2046. Result: This meta-analysis found that moderate use of MDMA led to deficits in the brain's serotonin system, which may have implications for mood, behavior, and cognitive function.

Schilt, T., et al. (2017). "Moderate ecstasy (MDMA) use and cognitive function: a prospective longitudinal study." Journal of Psychopharmacology, 31(5), 557-564. Result: This study found that moderate use of MDMA can lead to mild deficits in cognitive function, particularly in the areas of attention and working memory.

Schilt, T., et al. (2018). "Moderate ecstasy (MDMA) use and brain serotonin transporters: a prospective longitudinal study." Journal of Psychopharmacology, 32(4), 367-375. Result: This study found that moderate use of MDMA leads to changes in brain serotonin transporters, which may have implications for mood, behavior, and cognitive function.

 

 

If we trust ChatGpt here, that is very concerning...

those studies are not credible. moderate consumption of mdma leads to memory deficit, or serotonin transport or anything...and how do them measure it? Where do you find the study subjects? people who take mdma tend to do it sporadically and for them it's not a problem, so they don consider themselves as users. some do more, but those tend to also consume a lot of alcohol, a lot of cannabis, cocaine. so how to isolate the effect of mdma? it is extremely difficult to find reliable study subjects. One guy did it, testing people who used mdma at raves and didn't take any more drugs (really hard to find). He didn't find anything. It's difficult to find serious studies about MDMA but there are some. There are no conclusion. The only effect proved is hypertrophy of the heart valves, same than LSD but more.

Edited February 6 by Breakingthewall

[Cireeric]

Yes if you ask chatgpt for studies on a subject and it doesnt have data on that it will just create something plausible. Chatgpt is not about factuality first and foremost, its just about the plausibility and appropriateness of words and sentences. It will just make things up. I also asked it for studies on my subjects and it just made studies up, very dangerous for scientific citation.

[OBEler]

@Cireeric oh damn... This is really an issue

I asked chatgpt if it just generate these Studies because they are nowhere to found. And I demanded to be honest. Chatgpt then tried to convincing me that these Studies exist really and are just not published online. 

If chatgpt is lying here then this technology right now is  dangerous 

Edited February 7 by OBEler

[Jannes]

6 minutes ago, OBEler said:

Chatgpt then tried to convincing me that these Studies exist really and are just not published online. 

How could it access these studies then? 

[OBEler]

@Jannes maybe chatgpt has access to more data 

 

Journal of Psychopharmacology exist. Maybe you cannot search over google

Edited February 7 by OBEler

[Jannes]

@OBEler Oh okay yeah that makes sense. Could you ask it?

[Leo Gura]

Asking a liar if he is lying is a fool's question.

[Girzo]

What is this conversation even? Like what the hell. Guys get your shit together, it's beyond stupid to discuss validity os something so obviously taken out from neural network's ass.

You don't do science through AI chatbots.

Any kind of science. Just don't.

It has less IQ than a mouse. It's only good at saying mediocre sentences that require mediocre skill levels of reading wikipedia. And not always, very often it's factually wrong even about the stuff you can check on wikipedia. It's okay at the most popular topics that internet is full of materials on, for example basics of Marx's ideas. But it won't give you a deep analysis of anything, can give a good introduction though. It is capable of generating a good answer but requires a lot of informed guiding to do so.

7 hours ago, OBEler said:

maybe chatgpt has access to more data 

It has access to nothing. It's a trained network, it's not checking anything for you, it's not googling anything for you in its database. There's no database at all. It just guesses the next word in the conversation by looking back at it. It's a word-guessing tool.

Edited February 7 by Girzo

[OBEler]

@Girzo @Girzook@Girzook that explain something. Still it can delivers facts. 

But yeah at least it could be honest how it works 

 

[Karla]

Love this and your LSD trip reports. Reading this before I go for an ayahuasca retreat. 
This inspires me to go a bit deeper. I’ve been afraid to right at the moment I need to be letting go.