ivankiss

Constructive criticism for Leo

515 posts in this topic

6 minutes ago, something_else said:

Most of the attraction advice here is literally just:

”go out, be sociable, and talk to lots of women”

 

 

This is basically what I take away from it as well. Go out, talk to women, have fun. Face rejections head on. Have great nights, meet new people, learn to have great consensual sex with women! That’s a good thing. 
 

Many men really want to have sex, meet women, have fun, and meet enough people they find a good match for a healthy relationshi. That can’t happen if you don’t go meet people. The initial attraction phase is playful and silly. 
 

Unfortunately many hornet men.. which is most young men. Have no clue how to do this. They feel desparate and wind up up in toxic male ideologies. There is so much toxic stuff out there right now. 

Also, lots of women want to have sex as well. But, they want a quality confident guy, or at least a guy who has the social skills she can feel safe and confident to have a fun night with, and maybe some good sex. Sex is a good thing! Enjoy your bodies. Enough of the toxic shame around sex. There is nothing wrong with teaching men this skill set. 

People expect men to either be charismatic and good with women, or not. Well, in reality social skills require development, practice and learning theory. 
 

Leo also lives in Vegas… sort of known for being a bit dirty ahaha anyway. 

 

Edited by Thought Art

 "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver

                            ◭"89"

                  

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1 minute ago, something_else said:

Most of the attraction advice here is literally just:

”go out, be sociable, and talk to lots of women”

I don’t really see what’s so misogynistic about it. I definitely agree Leo has a really bad reputation for spitting out some nasty one liners like “club sluts” and “monsters from the black lagoon” which are needlessly insulting. But the core advice excluding that horseshit is not really anything that misogynistic

It’s mostly just trying to get man-cave dwelling computer nerds to go outside for once

Another problem is that it’s really hard to give dating advice that appeals to both men and women without offending either. It’s because their dating agendas are so different. If we go and look at really female centric dating forums or subreddits as guys it also makes us feel like utter dogshit in the way they talk about and compare us.

I’m not saying it’s a good thing, but it is something that’s very tough to avoid when giving gendered dating advice. And the forum is mostly male so the dating advice is always gonna be biased

 

Most misogyny nowadays is subtle, it’s not going to be direct. It’s also easier to spot if you’re a woman - why do you think there is practically no women left on the forum?

I don’t agree that it’s so hard to give dating advice while not being nasty, offensive, and without name calling. He sets the tone on this forum, and then most of his followers think it’s ok to behave this way, snap at others, act arrogant and entitled, etc.

 

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9 minutes ago, no_name said:

it’s ok to behave this way, snap at others, act arrogant and entitled, etc

Ur not above that jsyk 

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7 minutes ago, Jacob Morres said:

 

Ur not above that jsyk 

Have I ever claimed to be “the most enlightened person to ever exist”? Do I have a following of a million people parroting my actions? 
 

The problem is not a regular person doing that stuff. But when someone’s claims don’t align with their actions. That’s called a scam. 
 

It’s like going to a dentist who himself has rotten teeth. 

Edited by no_name

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26 minutes ago, something_else said:

 I definitely agree Leo has a really bad reputation for spitting out some nasty one liners like “club sluts” and “monsters from the black lagoon” 

This shows the underlying mindset though.   And that's what needs to change.  There shouldn't be any of that.

Edited by Inliytened1

 

Wisdom.  Truth.  Love.

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2 minutes ago, no_name said:

Most misogyny nowadays is subtle, it’s not going to be direct. It’s also easier to spot if you’re a woman - why do you think there is practically no women left on the forum?

There is likely subtle misogyny that goes unnoticed by men and me here. However that’s very hard to moderate or enforce I would imagine. Just saying “I always feel so unwelcome here because of all the subtle misogyny” is a valid complaint and expression of how you feel, but it’s not really easy to take any action on. If for no other reason than us guys don’t notice the things that make you upset as much because they don’t affect us. You need to point them out directly instead of saying that the entire section makes you feel unwelcome.

What suggestions do you have to improve the dating section to make it more welcoming? Beyond getting Leo to actually stop with his stupidly unnecessary insulting language that he sometimes spurts out. It annoys me too because it’s the main thing I consistently see there that’s just totally unnecessary.

Beyond that I rarely see anyone explicitly disrespect women or say anything that is plainly misogynistic. And a lot of it is just hopelessly misguided men who have not been properly socialised, so when you hear that subtle misogyny from them it is coming from a place of frustration and being essentially unloved by the world.

Banning such guys is actually kind of detrimental because they’ll end up following people like Tate which are 100x more explicitly misogynistic

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2 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

This shows the underlying mindset though.   And that's what needs to change.  There shouldn't be any of that.

I agree. 

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25 minutes ago, something_else said:

Says who? Plenty of men and women just want sex and who are you to shame them for that?

 

 

If that's all they want yes.  But this is not the majority- and we are talking about the majority here.   And actually if you ask any woman on the planet she will tell you she's really not in it for a one nighter.


 

Wisdom.  Truth.  Love.

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Just now, something_else said:

There is likely subtle misogyny that goes unnoticed by men and me here. However that’s very hard to moderate or enforce I would imagine. Just saying “I always feel so unwelcome here because of all the subtle misogyny” is a valid complaint and expression of how you feel, but it’s not really easy to take any action on. If for no other reason than us guys don’t notice the things that make you upset as much because they don’t affect us. You need to point them out directly instead of saying that the entire section makes you feel unwelcome.

What suggestions do you have to improve the dating section to make it more welcoming? Beyond getting Leo to actually stop with his stupidly unnecessary insulting language that he sometimes spurts out. It annoys me too because it’s the main thing I consistently see there that’s just totally unnecessary.

Beyond that I rarely see anyone explicitly disrespect women or say anything that is plainly misogynistic. And a lot of it is just hopelessly misguided men who have not been properly socialised, so when you hear that subtle misogyny from them it is coming from a place of frustration and being essentially unloved by the world.

Banning such guys is actually kind of detrimental because they’ll end up following people like Tate which are 100x more explicitly misogynistic

The problem with Leo goes deeper than that. I don’t think it’s his following, or that banning anyone would solve the issue. 

I personally think Leo should be cancelled because he is pretending to be someone he is not. 

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Just now, Inliytened1 said:

If that's all they want yes.  But this is not the majority- and we are talking about the majority here.   And actually if you ask any woman on the planet she will tell you she's really not in it for a one nighter.

The majority of people the world, at least in the western world, have plenty of one night stands.

The average body count of a male/female in the western world is 10, to give some perspective.

There are plenty of women who enjoy casual sex, it’s just less socially acceptable for them to agree when directly asked because society (and you, apparently) judge them for it.

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Just now, something_else said:

The majority of people the world, at least in the western world, have plenty of one night stands.

 

Us guys can live with one night stands because we are brutes.  But trust me, women don't want that.


 

Wisdom.  Truth.  Love.

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9 minutes ago, something_else said:

The majority of people the world, at least in the western world, have plenty of one night stands.

The average body count of a male/female in the western world is 10, to give some perspective.

There are plenty of women who enjoy casual sex, it’s just less socially acceptable for them to agree when directly asked because society (and you, apparently) judge them for it.

It’s not the society programming. Of course there are some exceptions. But a large majority of women are not interested in casual sex. 

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11 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Us guys can live with one night stands because we are brutes.  But trust me, women don't want that.

I think some women DO want that. Happens a lot. I’ve had sex with a lot of girls and we clearly were just friends, or clearly one night stands. It can be all good. It can go both ways for girls or guys. 


 "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver

                            ◭"89"

                  

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7 minutes ago, no_name said:

The problem with Leo goes deeper than that. I don’t think it’s his following, or that banning anyone would solve the issue. 

I personally think Leo should be cancelled because he is pretending to be someone he is not. 

That seems a tad extreme, but you can just leave if this forum doesn’t resonate with you

There are parts of it I don’t like too, but expecting perfection from an online forum is kind of unfair in my opinion. Same goes for expecting perfection from a teacher

Wanting someone to be cancelled is just a desire for revenge and to cause pain and harm to another, which seems a bit much of a punishment for subtle misogyny

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I am considering locking this as we have moved far away from the original point. You are welcome to open a new thread in the dating and sexuality section to further discuss these points. 


 "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver

                            ◭"89"

                  

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1 minute ago, Thought Art said:

I think some women DO want that. Happens a lot. I’ve had sex with a lot of girls and we clearly were just friends, or clearly one night stands. It can be all good. It can go both ways for girls or guys. 

The only reason that is is if they are attached to someone else or interested in someone  else.  That is the only reason they will do that.


 

Wisdom.  Truth.  Love.

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@Inliytened1 Hey, I don’t think so. Men and women can enjoy sharing a night together. Clubs, parties and enjoy sex with people can be a fun night. 


 "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver

                            ◭"89"

                  

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1 minute ago, Inliytened1 said:

The only reason that is is if they are attached to someone else or interested in someone  else.  That is the only reason they will do that.

Exactly, and because they need a shoulder to cry on/someone else to pay attention to them while they are, for example, hurting.

Edited by no_name

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2 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

I am considering locking this as we have moved far away from the original point. You are welcome to open a new thread in the dating and sexuality section to further discuss these points. 

Leave it open.  I know you are an eager rookie, but you will find that threads like this will be re-opened anyway. 


 

Wisdom.  Truth.  Love.

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4 minutes ago, no_name said:

But a large majority of women are not interested in casual sex. 

Idk, my experience in the world pretty starkly contradicts this statement

And so do statistics. The average body count in western countries like the UK or the US is estimated around 10, some estimates as high as 14. For BOTH sexes.

14 long term relationships for the average woman, or man, seems very unlikely. Which means a lot of casual sex is being had by lots of members of both sexes.

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