How much loneliness is too much?

[Bob Seeker]

living consciously can be a lonely road.

My path has recently lead me into a lot of solitude.

I have the ability to be more social but I am hesitant to take that as a reactionary step.

I know long-term loneliness is detrimental to health, and even short-term loneliness can reduce and drive.

But I still wonder if it is better to face loneliness head on as if it is a hump that I will get over. But that is a gamble and I suspect it is more than just a hump and would eventually lead to burn out.

I think too about de-addicting myself from the idea of dating women, and having attention from them, but I suspect this to be all but impossible without serious Love as a constant in your life.

Does anyone have experience with this?

Edited December 18, 2022 by Bob Seeker

[John Paul]

I open up, I get backlash. I isolate, more backlash. Any thing I do: backlash… fuck this im keepin the guard up. At least when I lean on the side of being independent I have more emotional control. Maybe for others it’d be the opposite though? Idk 

[SonataAllegro]

Life, including its  deepest spiritual aspects , can be enhanced by friends. Being in a community should be part of your journey if you care about integrating your social side . 

[Eyowey]

It's a matter of preference. You can be happy with people and without them. One might be more difficult than the other depending on your inclinations. I would only use people for activities that I can't do on my own. Sex, chess, frisbeeing etc.

[Stovo]

I spend most days alone and I realised it's a problem recently so I'm spending more time trying to be social now.

The problem is trying to find other conscious people since the average person in Britain is either stuck in materialism or they're stuck in idealistic wokeism. 

Perhaps going to yoga or meditation classes is a helpful place to start. 

[Shawn Philips]

I'm in the same boat.

I decided to devote my life into the seeking of knowledge and spirituality.

Alhough I value my freedom and independence too much to not fall in a normie familiar lifestyle (wife with kids) I keep myself fantasizing about having a relationship with woman I see in the gym, at  a shop... I don't want to live attached to a person, but at the same time I dont want the loneliness too.

it's like our genetic duty to reproduce is fighting aganist our will to self actualize and enlightenment.

Edited December 18, 2022 by Shawn Philips

[Bob Seeker]

@Shawn Philips I feel you. I have no intention of decreasing my ability to become more conscious by becoming too worldly, but I also see how relationships can make you more conscious and loving, and that maybe the universe will find a way to serve me the right type of relationship that actually enhances my understanding and consciousness rather than sucking it out. I don't doubt the intelligence of the universe.

[Bob Seeker]

11 hours ago, Stovo said:

I spend most days alone and I realised it's a problem recently so I'm spending more time trying to be social now.

The problem is trying to find other conscious people since the average person in Britain is either stuck in materialism or they're stuck in idealistic wokeism. 

Perhaps going to yoga or meditation classes is a helpful place to start. 

Yeah, no-matter where you are there will seem a shortage of conscious people. But the fact that you exist means there must be people of similar consciousness somewhere in the general area. At least I like to think. 

[Pharion]

For me, it's all about authenticity. I'm lucky to live with a partner who I can be very authentic with and have a handful of friends with whom I can have the kinds of deeper interactions and conversations or just pure kinds of fun (I enjoy games a lot) that fulfill me. I don't have a lot of friends, and I do spend more time alone than most 22 yr olds. I do get lonely. Last night I was actually on the bus sitting alone as usual and a group of university students sat near me. What struck me about them was that despite the smiles, banter, and appearance of socializing and fun, when I paid attention to their body language, it was all posturing. There was hardly any authenticity: just a kind of competition to make oneself appear cool, sexy, interesting, etc. It didn't look comfortable, or natural to me.

I tell that story just to illustrate my answer. Loneliness sucks, and connecting and socializing with others has a lot of benefits and makes life better. However, authenticity comes first, so build the kind of relationships where you can be fully authentic. It takes time, but you can do that. It has to do with how you select friends and what activities or topics you bring up with them. If it isn't working with someone, be willing to let go of that connection. 

[inFlow]

@Bob Seeker I'am currently on my 3rd month of being alone and choosing to be alone. Sometimes I still meet my friends on the weekend and go home early about ~11pm. But not every weekend I meet them. You need to discover the happiness of solitude. Just be happy alone! In your room, with your own thoughts. It's hell'a good! But sometimes eventually you just need company. When times become hard you especially need some time to be in a room with a female (if you are a male). If you are doing some self development work you need some of the feminine energy to balance your Yang (doing/action energy), just talking can make a huge difference, 1 on 1 action.

[Bob Seeker]

@inFlow True. I've decided to engage with women more. I simply will never be able to move forward much without going through more exposure to women/dating. too much psychological energy there to ignore, but that means a lot of growth potential too, amidst the roller coaster ride that it is.

[Cass Cassini]

When it makes your life unbearable, that's when you know it's too much.