Should we live life without questioning it or trying to change it?

[Ghzem]

I’ve been on the self improvement journey for 6 years now and I’ve only gotten worse. To me it’s like I cycle of “oh I don’t like this thing and I think it’s bad so I am going to change it” should I just stop trying to change myself and just be who I am. Because self improvement seems like a endless cycle of mental masturbation.

 

[Thought Art]

@Ghzem If you are only getting worse then maybe you need a new approach. It’s not only about fixing everything… it’s like you said. Really self improvement js about being yourself. Living a good life. Make it simple.

[Eyowey]

I'm assuming that you made a change that you're not 100% certain about so now you're questioning the making of changes in it's entirety. Only make changes that you can sustain forever.

[NoSelfSelf]

What i learned the other day is that self improvement has alot of assumptions in advice, expecially in dating they say be confident for example, but thats assumption you have the foundation to be confident which many dont,so you basically dont have foundation for growth you are building it on shaky ground...

When you try to change something you change it like house changing its exterior thinking now its great house..

You have to change the construction and then other things otherwise it will always be broken...

Challenge is to find the foundation for growth you looking to get because thats where it all starts from...

Approach to growth is taken like learning college math and you dont know the basics of math just bypassing it thinking i dont need the basics...

Or englightment work and you hate yourself its backwards...

Edited December 7, 2022 by NoSelfSelf

[Rob06]

Self-acceptance paradoxically is part of the self development journey. Some people, including me, at some point find that a big (and maybe unconscious) reason why they started this journey in the first place, is a deep lack of self-love. "I'm not worthy, therefore I have to improve myself until I am worthy." 

When you get a breakthrough in self-love/acceptance, your self improvement will get less neurotic and less needy, more "noble" in a sense.

Edited December 7, 2022 by Rob06

[YaNanNallari]

If there is no door open for intuition, for change, or if you like for god, then there will be stiffness in cycles. Being stuck in a cycle. 

When our body digests the worries, when the conceptual overthinking melts away with enough energy pouring in and processing it, it is the good kind of questioning. It frees ourselves from shackles.
Not the kind of questioning where we try to overwhelm ourselves by finding a correct answer over and over again, even if that is a tendency of the mind. This creates more shackles when latched onto, encouraged.

In this culture, many people are so far down the analytical side, that counting on intuition sounds like a complete joke to them. It is so unsensitive, that they have a point. But nurturing it is a natural way forward

That's my thoughts for now anyway

[Ulax]

On 06/12/2022 at 4:02 PM, Ghzem said:

I’ve been on the self improvement journey for 6 years now and I’ve only gotten worse. To me it’s like I cycle of “oh I don’t like this thing and I think it’s bad so I am going to change it” should I just stop trying to change myself and just be who I am. Because self improvement seems like a endless cycle of mental masturbation.

 

@Ghzem What you been doing so far?

[UnbornTao]

There's a balance to be maintained between self-acceptance and looking for any kind of personal transformation.

Take care that your motivation to change isn't based on a feeling of inadequacy. You're perfectly, ontologically perfect as you are. However, the need to change comes from the recognition that a lot of one's thinking and behavior is often ineffective, disempowering and based on ignorance.

In order to change something, first you must let it be there exactly as it is. This disposition allows you to discern and grasp what it is, creating the possibility of change. How could you change something you're resisting and are not conscious of?

So, I'd imagine that before attempting self-change, you'd first have to grasp what a self actually is, existentially. Same goes for emotions, relationships, communication, and principles.

[thisintegrated]

It is not necessarily healthy or productive to stop questioning or trying to change aspects of your life that you don't like. It is important to recognize and address any negative patterns or behaviors that may be hindering your growth and happiness. However, it is also important to have self-compassion and not be overly critical of yourself. It can be helpful to seek support from a therapist or coach who can help you navigate the self-improvement journey in a more balanced and sustainable way.

It's important to strike a balance between accepting yourself as you are and striving for personal growth and transformation. While it can be frustrating to feel like you're not making progress in your self-improvement journey, it's important to remember that change takes time and effort. Rather than giving up on the idea of self-improvement altogether, try to focus on the reasons why you want to change and the ways in which it can benefit your life. Additionally, consider seeking support and guidance from others who have successfully made positive changes in their lives. With patience and persistence, you can continue to work towards becoming the best version of yourself.

Edited December 9, 2022 by thisintegrated