bejapuskas

Discrimination on this forum

81 posts in this topic

@bejapuskas

21 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

Hello there,

 

Maybe you remember me as the way too annoying moderator who policed all the disgustingly racist, sexist, queerphobic etc. opinions on this forum. That's me. 

All this time I thought that my actions were in alignment with this forum's values - the forum guidelines clearly say that any kind of discrimination based on any aspect of one's identity is prohibited. Yet, when trying to police people and give out warning points as assigned to me by the guidelines of this forum for inappropriate behavior, I experienced a severe backlash as a moderator because of the members' fragility and absolute inability to reflect and see beyond their view points. 

It started with a lot of people posting about Incel and Jordan Peterson even after it was banned by Leo. (forum guidelines are also written by Leo, but for some reason, those are not taken as seriously as these verbal statements) A lot of girls on this forum felt bad about the Incels and honestly, they were quite disgusting with all the rape apologist speech, victim blaming etc. Truly gross. I thought I could do something and for a moment it even seemed that things have gotten better. But did they really?

All this escalated into bunch of people getting triggered, posting things such as justifications of eugenics, racism, transphobia, primitive views on non-Western societies etc. All of this should be warning points worthy, but for some reason, forum members backlash against this, despite it being clearly stated in the rules that they are supposed to read before joining this forum. Even moderators often times think that certain things people say are not serious enough when they really are. And to be honest, even Leo.

Leo's development towards glorifying this political neutrality, not trying to ever change anything, letting the Incel majority to do so much damage, making this forum inhabitable for anyone with a more heart centered approach to personal development. Leo did once mansplain to me why a certain transphobic thing was not transphobic, even though he himself is not trans I don't think.

And there we have all his videos about how gender is a construct, which should be progressive and changing our mindset towards a more accepting one, but they really don't. Viewers mostly just accept the kind of out-of-world spiritual talk, meditate on it, but they do not actually integrate any of this serious philosophy into their behavior. 

 

Today, I checked Leo's blog, where he posted a video about regretting not trying to change people's mind, because as the video argued, doing that is basically surrendering to authoritarianism of a certain group. (white cishet men) I am glad he finally realized this, after existing as a self-proclaimed wise guru for so many years and claiming he has nothing to learn from reading books anymore. Don't get me wrong, Leo did teach me a lot of stuff, but this is absurd to say from somebody who says they value self-reflection. There is always more to learn, the universe is infinite. 

There was however one thing that I did not agree with in that video, and that is the claim that all societies around the world have always been non-accepting in terms of queerness and other things. That is simply not true. The Native Americans, Black people in Africa, Middle Easterners and many others have had queerness, sexual non-repression, deep spirituality, psychedelics etc. deeply rooted in their culture. You can check this out if you are interested:

https://www.gaytimes.co.uk/life/india-has-always-been-queer-af-we-even-have-a-gay-taj-mahal/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/03/24/how-a-west-african-shaman-helped-my-schizophrenic-son-in-a-way-western-medicine-couldnt/

 

Non-Western societies simply were way more spiritually AND politically developed than Europeans before colonization, but all of this was destroyed by them. Now, on this forum, people often say that Europeans are politically, even though maybe not spiritually, more developed, to claim being more higher up in the Spiral Dynamics development. But even that is just self-deception and racial bias. 

Unless there is a massive change of this forum's dynamic, I am not willing to participate in these harmful discussions. It is not worth my energy to persuade people who are here to idealize Leo, procrastinate high school work, never change their mind or spread discriminatory fascist views. It is just not worth and it is draining and it is painful. 

 

To honor one thing about this forum, it has been quite good in accepting non-offending pedophiles and people with severe intrusive thoughts, as I have many times seen in the serious mental health issues section of this forum. But it is necessary to add that the tolerance of mental illness was in my experience mostly seen in cisgender men who claimed to have mental health issues, while women were blamed for having them, and also all other things and basically just existing here. 

Let me know what you all think about this and if you think same, different, whatever you have to add.

    I think you are doing good for a moderator of less than a year. People don't appreciate, especially moderators of websites similar to Facebook's scale, how much evil, dehumanizing and inhuman content that needs to be moderated. They especially don't know that moderators are still human, still biased with their worldviews and their beliefs and ideas, and their stage of development, cognitive and moral development, personality type and ego development, life experiences and other lines of development. 

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2 minutes ago, bejapuskas said:

@Ulax  Thank you, but also get out with the nonsense about pride blinding me. You don't know what it is like from what I see. Actually go and try change people's minds. I am not going to ever stop being anti-misogynist, anti-racist, anti-queerphobic etc. You are not changing my mind in that. I enjoy the encouragement, but you still have not read the articles about how sexual repression and queerness was violently destroyed in non-Western cultures. You would benefit from studying actual real history that happened instead of the history written by men who literally enslave people. 

@bejapuskas I agree that I don't know what its like. I'm just trying to provide a perspective on how you can be more effective at achieving your goals.

Speaking plainly, I don't really care whether your anti whatever. What I care about is the actual effects of people's behaviour. Just being anti something does not mean you are helping, sometimes you can be hindering the very goal you are going after.

For example, if a discussion on race realism gets banned is that good? Maybe the discussion stops. But maybe the poster feels alienated, and leaves forum, and joins 4chan instead. And on 4chan he gets radicalised further into racial hatred, and gets more and more people to join his 4chan space. Which leads to a black person being harmed. And if you are someone who encouraged the banning then imo you are partially responsible for that person's radicalisation. Maybe you consider that the effect of having the discussion actually has the consequence of harming a lot of people too i.e. an african american dude ends up feeling increased feelings of shame and fear, and on the balance of things you decide that the consequences of getting the discussions banned would be better.

Its a complex thing to think about imo. And, I think righteousness is an indication of not understanding that.

On another note, I'm not that interested in reading those articles at this time.


Be-Do-Have

Made it out the inner hood

There is no failure, only feedback

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4 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

The "point" that is going too far is for example giving somebody warning points for merely stating what they think a woman or a man is. If it's not said with the intention to troll or offend, I think that is a no-go zone for warning points, and I saw you go into that zone. We should strive to keep the discussions informed by sensitivity, but that particular level of enforcement makes discussions impossible. At that level, discussion is only possible if everybody is already in agreement.

This was all I can remember pushing back against. I think that people can have their opinions about what a man or woman is, and say it and they deserve respect about it even if I disagree or see more nuance and relativity. I think it’s dangerous and unfair whenever anyone questions or have different views than a or queer trans person that they get shunned, silenced and accused of hate. This, in my opinion is unfortunate over reactions of a culture which is at times over reactive and hypocritical. 
 

Having a different opinion on trans and queer politics because of your world view isn’t the same as being transphobic. I think there’s nuances there.

I am anti transphobic and anti hate and discrimination. But, I also see nuances and I don’t want the transphobic accusation to be weaponized just because we all have different views. I’m still contemplation, observing this.
 

I will always stand up to a Mod who thinks their world view is the only way to be. That, anyone who thinks else wise  is to be silenced with warnings points.

What I was pushing back against is that one Mod thinks something is transphobic, and then gives warning points. But , is that person truly be transphobic and discriminatory? At the time I didn’t think so in that context and didn’t think it fair. 
 

Queer and trans people don’t run the world and Cis gendered straight people also deserve to share their beliefs in public discussion without being attacked and canceled. We live on a diverse planet. Just because a Christian believes in Christianity doesn’t make him anti Semitic. There’s nuances here.

I know your going to label me as a bad evil person.  
 

But, I don’t think a man, woman, trans person, non cisgendered person etc who sees reality in a certain way, who disagrees with someone else’s world view is inherently hateful. 
 

You may not be ‘seen’ by some people. But, also why are you so weak that you need EVERYONE to see you as you want them to. 
 

You said a lot in your post that DOES however make me reflect and want to communicate better on the forum. 

Edited by Thought Art

 "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver

                            ◭"89"

                  

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@bejapuskas If you had a film recommendation instead of articles I'd be grateful tho


Be-Do-Have

Made it out the inner hood

There is no failure, only feedback

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5 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

@Leo Gura Are mods about protecting users or not? 

Just answer that question plain and simple. 

 

Okay, just throw all nuance about human diversity and it’s complexity out the window. 


 "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver

                            ◭"89"

                  

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2 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

Okay, just throw all nuance about human diversity and it’s complexity out the window. 

It's not cool to jump on her. 


♡✸♡.

 Be careful being too demanding in relationships. Relate to the person at the level they are at, not where you need them to be.

You have to get out of the kitchen where Tate's energy exists ~ Tyler Robinson 

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@Tyler Robinson Hmm, what did you mean by “are mods to protect people or not?”


 "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver

                            ◭"89"

                  

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@Thought Art

20 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

Okay, just throw all nuance about human diversity and it’s complexity out the window. 

 

16 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

@Tyler Robinson Hmm, what did you mean by “are mods to protect people or not?”

I've been facing some harassment on the forum for some time. I was actually talking about that. 


♡✸♡.

 Be careful being too demanding in relationships. Relate to the person at the level they are at, not where you need them to be.

You have to get out of the kitchen where Tate's energy exists ~ Tyler Robinson 

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@Tyler Robinson okay, I was focused on the overall landscape of the OP


 "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver

                            ◭"89"

                  

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5 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

I value protecting my mental health and the mental health of members higher than tolerating low consciousness. It is just a small warning on an internet forum, 

Look outside of your own perspective for a moment and see that neither the "high consciousness" people nor the trans people on this forum necessarily agree with you. You have taken your interpretation of a very contentious issue and made people's existence depend on it. I don't think that is how warning points should be used just in principle, let alone that it would eventually decimate the amount of people on here.

 

5 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

I feel like giving this warning pushes my point and if I see the person actually trying to get better, then I do something. 

Instead of using warning points to do that, you can concede some ground to the opposing side so that discussion is possible, and maybe you'll persuade some people in the process — you know — what Leo was actually talking about in that blog post. Threatening someone's account with the hope that they might agree with you is power abuse.

Edited by Carl-Richard

Intrinsic joy is revealed in the marriage of meaning and being.

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1 hour ago, Ulax said:

@bejapuskas I agree that I don't know what its like. I'm just trying to provide a perspective on how you can be more effective at achieving your goals.

I don't know if you still don't get it, but I tried your approach - it does not work to be nice to people. If you are a trans girl, or even a cis girl, any girl really, people will not take you seriously, even if you are nice to them. 

Speaking plainly, I don't really care whether your anti whatever. What I care about is the actual effects of people's behaviour. Just being anti something does not mean you are helping, sometimes you can be hindering the very goal you are going after.

That shows how you privileged you are, not having to care about people's opinions all the time. You know for me it's a matter of safety on daily basis where I live. What you call actual effect on people's behavior is just your speculation. You are still assuming that being nice to people achieves change more easily but it does not. I am like this exactly because I already burned out from trying to be nice to close-minded individuals. If you don't trust my claim, I don't know what to tell you.

For example, if a discussion on race realism gets banned is that good? Maybe the discussion stops. But maybe the poster feels alienated, and leaves forum, and joins 4chan instead. And on 4chan he gets radicalised further into racial hatred, and gets more and more people to join his 4chan space. Which leads to a black person being harmed. And if you are someone who encouraged the banning then imo you are partially responsible for that person's radicalisation. Maybe you consider that the effect of having the discussion actually has the consequence of harming a lot of people too i.e. an african american dude ends up feeling increased feelings of shame and fear, and on the balance of things you decide that the consequences of getting the discussions banned would be better.

This is again just speculations of what happens. It is victim blaming. It is saying that the discrimination is the victim's fault. That she could have done something differently and then she would not face the hate. No, trust me, I tried, does not work. Try dressing up in a dress and go up to people and see how seriously they tell your philosophical arguments. They won't.

Have you actually seen somebody joining 4chan after getting banned by me? I rarely actually ban people, even the neo-nazi guy I just put him at the border line ban, where if he does one more thing he will be out of here. I mostly ban serious spammers.

Do you ever think about the black person being harmed here by the people questioning their validity, their intelligence, their everything, for the same of some dumb "serious philosophical discussion?" Like come on, there is no serious discussion happening and you see, both I and Tyler Robinson got harrassed here and so did many more. We are also people, we have feelings and we feel hurt in the space you are creating at this very moment by being so defensive of your fragile privileged ego who does not want to realize that people are actually victims and still tries to find some logic behind violence. Sure, go educate the oppressors, but don't silence us please, we are not guilty for our own hate, thank you. And it is also not our responsibility to advocate for our own safety and security. It is the obligation of those with privilege, they have more emotional resources than us, they are not constantly told to toughen up because people are dumb out there. African American dudes already feel shame here and so do others, do you think seeing a running discussion about race science does not trigger that? You bet it does.

Its a complex thing to think about imo. And, I think righteousness is an indication of not understanding that.

On another note, I'm not that interested in reading those articles at this time.

Why are you not interested in that? Because they would question your privilege? Are you afraid of actually questioning your biases rather than just going to this forum and talking to like minded people all the time? Fine, you can watch the movie Bending the Arc or maybe the Netflix show Heartstopper instead if you want some entertainment.

 

1 hour ago, Thought Art said:

This was all I can remember pushing back against. I think that people can have their opinions about what a man or woman is, and say it and they deserve respect about it even if I disagree or see more nuance and relativity. I think it’s dangerous and unfair whenever anyone questions or have different views than a or queer trans person that they get shunned, silenced and accused of hate. This, in my opinion is unfortunate over reactions of a culture which is at times over reactive and hypocritical. 
It is always us getting questioned and we also get silenced, so don't argue like this, you are making a fool of yourself.

Having a different opinion on trans and queer politics because of your world view isn’t the same as being transphobic. I think there’s nuances there.

No there are not. Equal rights for everyone is the only acceptable option. Nothing less.

I am anti transphobic and anti hate and discrimination. But, I also see nuances and I don’t want the transphobic accusation to be weaponized just because we all have different views. I’m still contemplation, observing this.
You can read what I think about this gross double standard above. Your kind has been ruling the world and everything is built around your fragile ego to please you everywhere in this world, so give us some space, thank you.

I will always stand up to a Mod who thinks their world view is the only way to be. That, anyone who thinks else wise  is to be silenced with warnings points.

I never even said that I am literally just following the forum guidelines.

What I was pushing back against is that one Mod thinks something is transphobic, and then gives warning points. But , is that person truly be transphobic and discriminatory? At the time I didn’t think so in that context and didn’t think it fair. 
It is in accordance to the forum guidelines to give warning points for shitty behavior. What else would they be for?

Queer and trans people don’t run the world and Cis gendered straight people also deserve to share their beliefs in public discussion without being attacked and canceled. We live on a diverse planet. Just because a Christian believes in Christianity doesn’t make him anti Semitic. There’s nuances here.

Bro no, cis people do run the world actually, and that is exactly why queer and trans people need to share their view. The cisgender view is already ingrained so deeply in everything, just look around yourself and question your ignorance.

I know your going to label me as a bad evil person.  
No, but I think you are making some ignorant claims.

But, I don’t think a man, woman, trans person, non cisgendered person etc who sees reality in a certain way, who disagrees with someone else’s world view is inherently hateful. 
But it can still cause emotional damage and there is like nobody speaking up against it, do you see how that is bad, at least a little bit?

You may not be ‘seen’ by some people. But, also why are you so weak that you need EVERYONE to see you as you want them to. 
Yeh, I am actually so weak that I can withstand people like you questioning my identity. Cis guys every day prove their masculinity to everyone by acting so masculine, and cis girls by acting so feminine, but for you it is easy. You can marry whoever you want, have the body you want, have the kind of relationship you want, walk around safely, walk to bars without getting killed etc.

You said a lot in your post that DOES however make me reflect and want to communicate better on the forum. 

I am glad, can we talk about that instead? I would be happy to answer any questions you have, I am just really tired of people at this point. I am sorry I have so much anger in me, but my life really is not easy and it does have to do with my identity. And if you approach me from a place of curiosity that I recognize clearly, I will answer anything you want (almost). I am one of those trans girls who is not afraid of talking with others about transitioning etc. so you can ask.

 

1 hour ago, Thought Art said:

Okay, just throw all nuance about human diversity and it’s complexity out the window. 

Protection of people is not a thing about complexity and nuance, it is quite clear what it means to protect people. Read some stuff about victim blaming and consent.

 

25 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

Look outside of your own perspective for a moment and see that neither the "high consciousness" people nor the trans people on this forum necessarily agree with you. You have taken a very contentious issue and made people's existence on here depend on it. I don't think that is how warning points should be used just in principle, let alone that it would eventually decimate the amount of people on here.

As I said, I ban less people than Leo. I maybe banned like 2 people in my entire career as a moderator. The other mods ban way more often than myself. You all are just thinking that I ban a lot, because I give warning points (and then take them away), but I actually mostly ban spammers. 

Instead of using warning points to do that, you can concede some ground to the opposing side so that discussion is possible, and maybe you'll persuade some people in the process — you know — what Leo was actually talking about in that blog post. Threatening someone's account with the hope that they might agree with you is power abuse.

Could you do that for me please? It is not my responsibility to speak about my validity like every day you know? You also do not need to do that to remain a valid person. I am not abusing power, just read the guidelines. Also if you give warning points to someone in your moderation options, and you select hate speech, racism etc. the number of recommended points for that offence automatically increases to quite a lot. Just saying that it is not something I made up, it is already in the system. Again, I tried being nice to people, it does not work you all are just speculating and gaslighting me and victim blaming me, stop it.

 

You know if you all created a safe space for trans people, maybe you would receive more articles like this that are actually pretty awesome and a lot of people could learn from them. They seem to address a lot of the problems with sexuality people commonly face here. I will share one that I like. But if you prefer a political echo chamber of conservative perspectives instead, sure.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/jpy7g7/i-was-a-slave-to-testosterone-how-sex-changes-for-trans-women-on-hormones

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@A_v_E  No, problems also stem from the people who beat you up if you dress a certain way. See, in your point of view, the strict roles and identities are still operating, you are assuming if people lose identity, they will just fucking keep identifying with the oppressive norms, but that is not how it works buddy. That is just spiritual bypassing, and it can only be done from a place of privilege where you literally don't need to care about these norms because you are safe either way.

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If you find someone on this forum using hate speech or making violent gestures against minorities, or someone is bullying you, then report the incident to me and I will handle it.

But if someone is just sharing a perspective you disagree with -- such as, there are only two genders -- that is not something we will moderate. You guys need to develop a thicker skin for handling contrary perspectives and philosophies.

Edited by Leo Gura

You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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@bejapuskas it seems that Leo is ready to take action so I guess it's good news. 

 


♡✸♡.

 Be careful being too demanding in relationships. Relate to the person at the level they are at, not where you need them to be.

You have to get out of the kitchen where Tate's energy exists ~ Tyler Robinson 

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@Leo Gura  What about you developing thicker skins? Why are you using this double standard again? And thank you for offering me help, I am glad you are here for that.

Edited by bejapuskas

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I don't think I need to say much more.


Intrinsic joy is revealed in the marriage of meaning and being.

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14 minutes ago, bejapuskas said:

@Leo Gura  What about you developing thicker skins? Why are you using this double standard again? And thank you for offering me help, I am glad you are here for that.

Me developing thicker skin on what issue?

I have been forced to develop a lot of thick skin from people criticizing me on all sorts of issues.

I force myself to endure perspectives here which I disagree with because I don't want to create an echo-chamber.

Our general policy here is to control speech here as little as we can get away with, so that diverse perspectives are shared. I don't like blocking any perspective unless it is clearly toxic or in bad-faith. Or is just misinformation or dogma.

- - - - -

Anyhow, if you find content here that disturbs you, let me know and I will investigate it. If I think that it's harmful/toxic I will remove it.

BTW, we issue warnings to people every week for vulgar posting. So it's not like people will get away with that here for long. Any genuine racist, homophobe, sexist, etc. will eventually get banned here. We have banned dozens of them.

Edited by Leo Gura

You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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8 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

No, I mean fully, I think that racism here is worse than the queerphobia here. Some of the shit I saw was insane and I really don't want to deny anything you experienced. Also, you can be both black and queer, or biracial and queer, which is also really hard. 

I find it odd and sometimes to stereotypical, it would be cool for instance if I could associate my identity to a country and not to my phenotypical expressing and laughing about the "stupidity" of ethnocentrism and instead I am forced more or less to think I am part of the group black. I could not laugh for example about the prejudices and ethnocentric behaviour as I frankly don't know which country my black family stems from, from Africa. I can easily laugh and empathize with German stereotypical Memes and Stereotypes, I mean I can watch Hitler in his original language and I legit have empathy and compassion for the guy, as he simply did not knew better, and I frankly just think he is funny. In terms of also German society beign idiotically compassionate to that idiot. With that I mean sometimes on the forum things are not appropriately associated, there are no "white memes" making fun of "white people" as a group, there used to be some mems and videos that invovled black people doing smth. stupid and fun and it's associated often to blacks. It's not like oh that is so sterotypical "italian/russian" and you can laugh about the cultures and manners, I mean it's implied, yet I often felt and saw it was blown out of context. Every black person is a stage red macho-jerk. I saw that a couple of times. Also the subtle nuances sometimes I experience as a black person. It could just be me, also gaslighting these experiences is so common, when I talk with black friends they listen first and at one point might tell me, oh that is garbadge or smth. To show me I am lost in my perception. I mean I have close to 0 mistakes in the implicit association test. etc.

8 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

I think it comes from people with privilege, those from the group of majority race, ethnicity, religion etc. of these countries being fragile and irrationally afraid. It is really stupid this double standard. Ukrainian white immigrants being accepted, while Ukrainian Roma being looked down upon. I don't even know, white saviorism comes into play every day on the Slovakia borders.

It's just as far as I know the issue of human design for example the doll test, where even black kids choose the white doll, I don't know if this is priming as well as if Ukranian Roma's have darker skin color. There are just more strong negative associations with the color as well as perception of black.
https://www.verywellmind.com/the-color-psychology-of-black-2795814
You can also see this in the beauty industry which is an annoyance sometimes to deal with mentally, as there is legit a secret hierachy created, which can be an annoyance and definitely shapes my perceptions about dating. I just wonder why at times, as so many humans/people are beautiful. I just don't find it easy sometimes to appreciate so much bias in a sense, as well as it's also just stupid at times, when westerners want darker skin to show they are rich/well-off know it's a beauty thing, as well as simply enjoy the tan! It's sometimes annoying to see lower stages beign heavily impacted by that. For example a couple of my old friends even black said they would not appreciate dating a black skinned girl caus ugly, in simple terms. I find this laughable, and I am the whitestest of them all it's so stupid. 
 

8 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

I also think it is impossible to restore black culture without restoring gender, because for example this Nigerian Igbo religion has gender queer deities, and so we cannot just ignore gender while fighting racism and colonialism. 

I am also one of those people who thinks that like inherently, splitting people into gendered teams and even individuals is unfair. Trans girls are not unfair because they are biologically male or because they are trans. It is essentially because they are physically stronger. Therefore I think we should just have competitions and sports based purely on competence - there can be a weak, not so sportsy trans girl like me, who does mostly yoga and dancing, and maybe I could compete with the weaker men and medium strength cis women. I don't think it is gender discrimination against trans women if gender becomes not a thing at all and it is just about competence. It would also include the non-binary genders more. It is funny how transphobia, fragility and fear is clouding everyone's mind in a way that they never think about this, even though it is not even that profound of a thought, making people compete based on competence rather than gender. 

That is interesting to design such a competition would sound interesting to most I think, as you could design a fair obstacles course for all and then so people would even be more exposed to it on the media under what people deem normal conditions, I mean you have even mixed events in Olympics, I bet you could design a fair competition although it would take time. I would personally just think that is cool and gives people purpose as well as more access to friendships and a shared culture. Like sports and anything included under that umbrella. 

Also the idea of restoring black culture is so far off from me here in Germany, maybe in France and England I could not even imagine what that means in terms of Europe in America I can simply see that a majority of them are dominating culture and that has an affect in europe in terms of music and television displaying black americans. Yet we legit have more Africans here, so it's an issue for me personally to relate to others. As cultures are enormously different. 

8 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

You can share it here, I already shared some of my experiences. I will do my best to moderate if anyone who comes to this thread tries o invalidate your experiences.

I can share a personal story of wanting to date a transgender person, she/they then namecalling me and I thought well this is just stupid I am beign very open and vulnerable here and it's beign massively abused. Now I am pretty much confinced to not date transgender women? anymore because I don't believe anyone is healthy enough to keep up with my normal health routine from the transgender women I dated. As well as none of them really have been very spiritual and a lot of them like me? As I seem trans? Because I am "bi-racial" , "bi-national" that already evokes the picture seemingly of openess. It's difficult to not make it about looks and more about character and beign interested in the women, as this can involve a lot of shocking details, I did not know. It's crazy for a heteronormative guy to consider all of these worries. Although interesting! 

Sharing what I experienced. Find it odd how many free passes I get from transwomen/gender people online. Unsure if bias. Just sharing, would be curious if others have the same experience. And yes it's about the individual! Not the group.

8 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

I actually do not believe this forum is moderated well, I have just seen too much shit to still believe this. What double standards have you seen?

I frankly don't know I would even have to pick myself on things, based on the nuances on the forum sometimes beign ignorant I find it odd at times, that sometimes black people don't receive an answer, as well as seemingly black people don't receive an answer on elaborate writtings etc. I for example prefer using a white picture of smth. I like as it evokes more positive associations for others, as soon as I take a black smth. People are not acting usually as innocent anymore, that would be a "stupid" like chess double standard for me where black begins and white is second for fairness. It's not easy to come up with examples. Also for example when I am with my aunt, my aunt as a white women beign adressed first, when I would be a skinny tall white dude, they would adress me first. It's not easy to describe these perceptions. Anyway I am out! Would take to much time to explain and write it all. It's easier for me to talk about bias, as I mostly engage humans. Although some stuff is just stupid. 

Ignorance on this subject is very big and just speaks for "majority/white priviledge" and systemic abuse at times. 

Edited by ValiantSalvatore

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22 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I force myself to endure perspectives here which I disagree with

Please don't force yourself for our sake. Just be yourself.

 

(lol, jk. idk what this thread is about)

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@thisintegrated

23 minutes ago, thisintegrated said:

Please don't force yourself for our sake. Just be yourself.

 

(lol, jk. idk what this thread is about)

   This thread is about the deep fear of Actualized.org forum turning into another Twitch, twitter, Tik Tok and Facebook, every user with thier own baises, worldviews, political and religious beliefs, value systems, cognition, morality, psychology and eho development, states of being, life experiences and other lines of development.

   To me, it's how you can deliver your assertion, state your position and communicate your view with persuasion and rhetoric, while being as good faith and charitable as possible to the other side. You can have worldviews that contain different dogmas, ideological beliefs and so on, but the kew is how you communicate them. If you post and write in a wag that's highly manipulative and inflammatory, expect warnings, temp bans and maybe a perma ban if you're too stubborn. So, if you are a radically different person to the average perskn, please watch how you communicate.

   Also, not just transphobia but rascism, antisemitism and xenophobia was brought up here? Yeah, we need to make some distinctions with those terms, I see why some users can be triggered. In fact, the more triggered a mind is, the more it will simplify, generalize and distort the other POV into a caricature and straw man their communication.

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