My Awakening Journey

[YogiCosmos]

Hi all,

Figured I would start a new topic here and repost my awakening experience here.

Has anyone had similar experiences?

A year ago,  I realized that “I” did not exist as its own separate entity. “Other” only existed in my thoughts if I couldn’t visually see them.

6 months later, experienced an implosion of silence followed by an explosion of silence into the world. The barrier separating my mind against the outer world lifted. Inner silence and external reality merged into the same silence. 

Everything in my direct perception and view I know to be me. The Self. Beautiful state of Unity.

2 months ago, the sense of Unity fell away. There was no longer an “I” claiming that the world was me. Went into an intense vacuum and blank state. The world in my view does not appear to exist or have been created. It also feels like the world is contained within my being. Note that I don’t feel like the world is an illusion. It’s absolutely real, but at the same time it was never created. 

Still stuck in this state as we speak. Everything is just function and appearance. No doer. No devotion. All totality. I feel like a ghost. More to unfold… I really hope.

The ego is still there, but no longer the main identification. When I was identifying as the world, I felt like I was the Self. However in this new state, there’s no ego or Self. There’s no identification, yet the ego remains like a foot or the hand. It’s just there to serve a purpose in survival, but you are not the foot or hand. 

[axiom]

@YogiCosmos Ah! Nice. 

Very few people "on the path" will relate to what you're describing here. Recognising that there is no self or Self sitting at the top of an identity hierarchy is very rare.

Ego, sky, street, hands, feet. All on a level playing field. All just appearance. No doer, no observer, no thinker. Just totality ... as you describe. 

Edited November 25, 2022 by axiom

[Razard86]

This is just another identity game. The no self all is self is literally the same thing. More Dream Talk, its just another POV. Merging the 2 POV is true God Realization. No self is the realization that everything is just an appearance and is happening with a conscious doer. So basically my body does not need to be self aware to act.....it just happens the same as my heart beat, nails growing/hair growing etc. 

The realization that everything is self, is just the realization that everything is self and any labels are just distinctions being conjured up that aren't actually true. Everything is really the same appearing to be separate and is just layers of layers of illusions to maintain this appearance of separateness. Both of these realizations are made, because you realize you are an infinite mind and as a result everything you see is just thought. That thought is energy, and that energy is love. But it is all just thoughts, dreams if you will. When you can realize that everything you experience has always been no different than dreams...then you are able to see both the no self and the self.

Deep sleep= No self. No consciousness, no dream, complete black out entirely, non existence.

Dream= Self, Consciousness, dream, existence.  

These are states that are interchangeable which means everything is just states of consciousness. You actually cycle back and forth for all of eternity and this is why you cannot die. You actually die and are reborn all the time, and you are actually are dead and alive at the same time as well. Life and death are just expressions of consciousness.

Edited November 24, 2022 by Razard86

[YogiCosmos]

Thank you Axiom.

I should also mention that by totality, I mean the merging of the absolute with non-duality. Everything that we think as relative or separate is also part of the total wholeness. Everything just is.

 

[inFlow]

@YogiCosmos how did you "get" to this state? Any kind of sadhana that you do? And if so, how much time have you done it? Thanks for the reply.

[Bojan V]

@YogiCosmos Hi 

You should check up a blog   davidya.ca

There you will find an explanation you're seeking.

 

 

 

[michaelcycle00]

8 hours ago, YogiCosmos said:

“Other” only existed in my thoughts if I couldn’t visually see them.

 

I always start tweaking with comments like this. Then what is the point of typing this on a forum if there’s no one to read it?

[YogiCosmos]

@inFlow I had RASA and similar light transmissions that took me to Unity. Also received many Shaktipat transmissions from various teachers. Took about a year to fully stabilize in the new state.

@Bojan V thank you just checked him out. He may be what I am looking for.

@michaelcycle00 This was a passing phase, and this realization has since then integrated. Right now, my reality is that “other” exists in the relative world that I reside in. However, I also simultaneously view the world from the absolute, and “other” also doesn’t exist. Both duality and non-duality are real to me, which was I meant by totality. Everything is included in this wholeness.

The neo-advaitans that say that “I”  or “others” don’t exist (and therefore there’s nothing to do ) are deluding themselves. That creates a duality by saying that anything dual is not real. Duality and non-duality must coexist in wholeness. 

True, we are not the ego. I just recently realized we are also not the infinity of the Self. We are totality inclusive of the ego and the Self.

Edited November 25, 2022 by YogiCosmos

[YogiCosmos]

Another thing I’ve noticed is that I am in meditation 24/7. The background silence is now basically the foreground 24/7.
 

When this snap happened (probably 6 months ago), I did get freaked out and tried to “wake” from it. But the body got used to it after 2 weeks, and here we are.

Outside of a lower resting heart rate and being physically relaxed, I have not grown a halo or an aura that I’m aware of. 

Edited November 25, 2022 by YogiCosmos

[inFlow]

@YogiCosmos The aura or halo is only depicted in art to show an "awakened" being. It's not literally happening that you get a halo lol.

[axiom]

7 hours ago, YogiCosmos said:

We are totality inclusive of the ego and the Self.

Right, that’s it. Very rare realisation. 

Self is relative, just like self, sky, trees, car, etc.

Big Self / God Realisation is not the final realisation - it’s just another appearance - a thought/recontextualisation of self.

Without Self “running the show” so to speak, the centre is dissolved. Only totality remains, and it is impossible to describe it. 

A small tweak though… it is not really “we are”, since nothing owns this. “we” is relative / subjective.

It is simply this, indescribable.

Edited November 25, 2022 by axiom

[YogiCosmos]

@inFlow  - haha yes I know. Awakening is so very ordinary and no one around you will know or care. Some folks may exude Shakti or crazy powers, but not me. The world to me became so plain, but the beauty and simplicity of being is astounding. Adyashanti mentioned “extraordinarily ordinary” in one of his videos. I totally agree! 

@NondualesStudium  My first shift a year ago definitely scared me. I remember thinking about crying because everything I knew up to that point was a lie. The beautiful thing about being a human is that the body and mind are so quick to adapt and integrate. The shock wore off in a few weeks, and it was back living daily life as normal. I also did get a sense I was picking up where I left off in previous lives.

Right now, the silence is a present abiding awareness. It’s there when I sleep and dream (though I cannot lucid dream), and it’s there when I wake up into the world. It’s a never ceasing awareness. During my second major shift, that internal awareness exploded outwards into the world. Any external objects that used to seem solid were now the same internal silent awareness. Inner had merged with outer.

I still have tons of thoughts in order to function in my career and with my family. The ego and mind will always be there since I am not an abstract space of air :). However, the silence is louder than the thoughts. I’m also less triggered by people and events. When things do trigger me, the anger or annoyance arises in the body but let’s go since there’s no story behind it anymore… that took some time to get used to.

@axiom - thank you. I still have to use “we” or “I” because the ego is still here haha. I respond to my name at work, for example. But yes, it is not who we truly are. I’m currently a ghost, but hoping for more to unfold.

[axiom]

@YogiCosmos Ultimately the hoping seems to dissolve, or seems at least to have far less weight or significance, along with the dissolution of the self / Self at the centre. A self (or a Self) can still appear, but it is seen to simply be cobbled together from the "building blocks" of whatever is arising.

With the mechanism of the self exposed as the house of cards that it is, it collapses and there is no vantage point remaining. Whatever appears is then imbued with a perfection that only a complete lack of judgement can bring.

In this case, there is no "hoping for more to unfold"

There is just this being perfect. Nothing real lies at the centre to pass judgement.

Edited November 26, 2022 by axiom

[YogiCosmos]

@axiom nicely put thank you ?? 

[inFlow]

18 hours ago, YogiCosmos said:

haha yes I know. Awakening is so very ordinary and no one around you will know or care. Some folks may exude Shakti or crazy powers, but not me. The world to me became so plain, but the beauty and simplicity of being is astounding. Adyashanti mentioned “extraordinarily ordinary” in one of his videos. I totally agree! 

Couldn't agree more. Even simple things like air become mind blowing.

[YogiCosmos]

From the other threads on this forum, it seems that a lot of people in the awakening process are still stuck in concepts. The key here is to transcend the concepts, and transcend your mind.

Questions to ask yourself:

1. A deep understanding can be incredible and life changing, but are you living the experience?
2. Once you realize that your being is infinite, is the realization there 24/7? 
3. Once the individual falls away, are you still experiencing the world as a separate illusion? Hint: the world as an illusion is still stuck in concepts.

Edited November 27, 2022 by YogiCosmos

[YogiCosmos]

Thank you for your interest.

The world doesn’t go quiet in that all the physical sounds stop. There is a lack of mental noise and fluctuation which makes it seem like the world is silent. Yet, as you have said, I have many thoughts and function in the world. But the silence is louder and drowns out the thoughts. It’s like wearing noise cancelling headphones in the mind.

Add that to the fact that I don’t have a center of identification anymore… you can imagine how it took some time to integrate to function in daily life.

I watched a video from Adyashanti and one of his students when they were speaking on losing identification. The description was so basic and simple, yet it triggered a remembrance into what I really am. I remember that starting the shift.

Sometimes it just takes a little grace and moving the ego mind out of the way. 

Edited November 28, 2022 by YogiCosmos

[bliss54]

On 25/11/2022 at 1:20 PM, YogiCosmos said:

@inFlow I had RASA and similar light transmissions that took me to Unity. Also received many Shaktipat transmissions from various teachers. Took about a year to fully stabilize in the new state.

Which Shaktipat teachers did you receive transmissions from? I have had a lot of sessions from gareth duignam which benefited me but i'm wondering if I should go to others or not. Because I heard if you mix transmissions from different gurus they can become weaker? Or was that not the case for you

Edited February 27, 2023 by bliss54