Self-Realisation Integration: I Am Mind

[A Fellow Lighter]

This journal is specifically for the purpose of integrating my self-realisation as Mind. There is so much potential in this, my ways of thinking about the world is literally less rigid and liquid-like at the moment, potent with reformation and repose. I'd like to keep track of it as it happens, as I explore the spectrum of ways for integrating this into my day-to-day experience.

Here we go ?

[A Fellow Lighter]

Somehow my life just seems a little less chaotic. Mainly because I now feel like a child. Suddenly everything about me, everything that I once considered good about me and everything that I once considered bad about me.. suddenly that's lost all conceivable meaning, and, in turn, a new fundamental layer of innocence has been unveiled. 

I feel like a child version of a god.. of a creator. Like I can do/be/create anything that I Will. I am already doing just that, only I'm doing in it in the most childlike manner. And the so-called physical body, here, is that equivalent of the training wheels on a kid's bicycle.

[A Fellow Lighter]

I've also been waiting.. watching.. looking to see if this realisation is still as truthful as it was initially. 

The good news is that it still is, the truth stands as towering as before. It also had me thinking: How could I have missed this for so long? How could I have failed to notice this earlier on? I mean it's so obvious and so constant, without a single glitch. There is no way you can miss it. And yet I did miss it. And then it hit me as to why I missed: simply because of the nature of the truth itself - I am Mind, I am what I care to be aware of, what I want to be conscious of. That is to say, my Will is the only way for anything to come into experience.

But now, there is no escaping this truth. Perhaps momentarily forgetting it, but never escaping from it. It shall forever be a towering one, so long as my spirit it true to itself.

[A Fellow Lighter]

A notable shift in consciousness:

Self-observation has taken the place of meditation. I no longer find an urgent need to meditate as I did before. Simply observing myself, observing the mind bringing whatever into consciousness, is efficiently enough.

There is, though, the new urge, the new need for me to learn how to be still. There is a new degree of awareness of the energy coursing through me. This energy I would use, before, rather mindlessly and irresponsibly which would have then resulted in that chaos that is mania. 

Now there is a sharp awareness of this energy. I understand myself, now. And life has become a little bit more orderly (or rightfully natural). I can make out the direction I'm being pulled toward - inwards. And I'm learning to go with the flow.

However, in order to learn with less friction (or resistance), I need to first learn how to be still. This will increase the level of self observation, thus further enable me to be mindful in my ways.

To be more and more Mindful - the goal of the self realised, it would seem. I'm attracted to what I already am, or, at least, higher potentials me.

[A Fellow Lighter]

I'm having trouble reading/studying, weather academic or nonacademic, content. I'm finding it annoyingly difficult to try to learn about how to make sense of things. I don't know how to think. I don't know how I am to make sense of the data in the world. 

[A Fellow Lighter]

I feel like I'm searching for something, or feel like I should be searching for the foundation of information, but I'm still looking for the best way to go about this.

To bring things into one's consciousness. This seems to be the all-in-all function of Mind. And how effortlessly this seems to come about - so effortless that we have confused common sense with true wisdom/knowledge. 

I honestly don't know how I am able to do what I do: how I am able to count; how I am able to read; how I am able to do anything intelligible. In fact, I just realised that I actually don't know anything. I used to think that I knew, but now I realise that everything that's been happening has been doing so on its own. The only thing I contribute is the Will to drive this process. Otherwise I really don't have a clue as to what is happening where there is cognition involved.

I am looking for the source, think. Or in actual case just waiting for it to be revealed I guess - the source of intelligence, that is to say. 

[A Fellow Lighter]

It's such a miraculous thing to observe - Mind. It's really just beyond anything abstract. It literally feels like a live work of art. I'm not really here as a person, but here as the source of energy which enables this artistic/generative activity called Mind. 

I can feel the energy flowing, I can observe the energy being channeled. I don't know how to describe it. It is as though the Mind is somehow just knowing itself, like it's digging into to itself, trying to awaken to itself. But the potential feels limitless, and the progress still very rigid and definite as to not be illusive or evasive of itself. Work is Law.

I guess that's one way to describe it.

[A Fellow Lighter]

I'm here, but at the same time.. I'm actually not here. I'm here as the Nothingness, here as nothing,.. but here.

And I am the source - the nothing - I am the source.. just watching.. and willing things into existence as well as out of existence. My Will is the only Way for any sort of creation in the whole cosmos. Will is the Way..

I am the Way.. there is no other Way but me. My Will is the light of the world. And, in deed, I am willing, for look.. there is Mind, right here, to reflect my Will. I am willing for this moment to exist. I am willing.

[A Fellow Lighter]

Energy flows

It's the most remarkable thing ever, not merely the consciousness of it, but the nature of it as it is - the nature of reality - it is energy flow.

Energy flows from one state into another, from liquid to gas, or liquid to solid, or, rather illuminatingly, from unconscious to consciousness. The point being the flow, the inevitability of the flow that is, against the background of transience.

It seems we are all co-Creators of the same energy which is the pure essence of knowledge itself. The energy, potent with transfigurative possibilities, enables any creation, any reality, any thought of creation. And the Mind is its wielder, and its master if willed.

 

[A Fellow Lighter]

The words Love and Light have never made more sense than now. Suddenly I know my purpose, I know my potential, and I know my work. Mind is not a noun, Mind is a verb. It's the movement, the activity - the only activity in the entirety of existence.