Am I becoming a victim? How can I tell if I am becoming a victim?

[ThePoint]

I’ve been battling debilitating health issues for the past couple of years, and it’s turned me into a completely different person. I’m not the same person I was before I got such life changing health issues.

I have tried so many things, and the more I try without getting any results from the things I’ve tried (e.g. a treatment protocol that doesn’t work, spending thousands on doctors that haven’t helped, supplements that don’t work, medications that don’t work, etc), the more demoralised I get. 

I think that, as time passes, I am starting to notice that I might be slipping into a victim mentality. I am not sure how to describe it, but I can sort of just feel myself becoming a victim, or adopting a victim mentality.

I want to remain hopeful, and maintain 100% responsibility, so I want to catch this and get control of it before it gets bad.

How can I tell if I’m becoming a victim? What are the signs I’m becoming a victim? 

[tessus]

1 hour ago, ThePoint said:

I’m not the same person I was before I got such life changing health issues.

If past, present, and future is a spectrum. Where are you on this spectrum?

Is a victim a person who lost touch with the future? What do you think?

The present can be action, future can be fuel. The past can also be many things, what is the past for you?

Edited October 26, 2022 by tessus

[ThePoint]

39 minutes ago, tessus said:

If past, present, and future is a spectrum. Where are you on this spectrum?

@tessus The present. 

I’m not really stuck in the past. I just miss my self, I miss my authentic self. But I don’t get much emotion from thinking about it when I should. It’s a blunted emotion.

As for the future, all I hope is that I resolve my health issues and get my self back.

41 minutes ago, tessus said:

Is a victim a person who lost touch with the future? What do you think?

I don’t know.

41 minutes ago, tessus said:

The past can also be many things, what is the past for you?

Something I miss.

[tessus]

It's pretty simple. You want something that you don't have. So then you feel bad.

7 hours ago, ThePoint said:

I want to remain hopeful, and maintain 100% responsibility, so I want to catch this and get control of it before it gets bad.

You want to be hopeful. And you want to maintain 100% responsibility. You are not hopeful. This is the victim mentality you are asking for. You can't maintain 100% of something that you don't have. "100%" is a label. Labels are standing in the way of reflection. Behind this label is your truth

5 hours ago, ThePoint said:

I’m not really stuck in the past. I just miss my self

I don't understand

Edited October 26, 2022 by tessus

[Lila9]

You went through negative experiences, we all go through it.

No matter what your experience is and how negative it is, remember that you are not the only one who went or go through it. All the people in the world, all the animals, the nature itself went and go through it. Bad things, failure, misfortune happen to all of us. No one is immune to that. It's not like someone do it for us specifically on purpose while it blesses others with endless fortune, we all suffer in our unique ways. It's a inherent part of life and we should accept it. It says nothing about who we are. Going through failure or misfortune events doesn't implay about who we really are, how strong or weak we are. What  determinants our character is how we respond to that.

I'd say, try to replace the feeling of being a weak and powerless victim with compassion for yourself, with an appreciation of your attempts and intentions, and then figure out for yourself what is your next step, that's another level. Change the way you talk to yourself. Take your power back. You have an inherent power, we all have, take it back, take what always was there, the thing that never can be taken from you by anyone unless you decide to give up on it-your power!

 

 

 

 

[ThePoint]

4 hours ago, tessus said:

"100%" is a label. Labels are standing in the way of reflection. Behind this label is your truth

@tessus So what do I do to this label?

4 hours ago, tessus said:

I don't understand

I miss my old self. The self I felt in touch with before health issues took over. I miss who I used to be. See, that’s in the past.

[tessus]

1 hour ago, ThePoint said:

I miss my old self. The self I felt in touch with before health issues took over. I miss who I used to be. See, that’s in the past.

Nothing wrong with being in the past, but that is not where the action happens.

Your signature kinda tells me that your authentic self already knows what to do.. Now get to work

2 hours ago, ThePoint said:

@tessus So what do I do to this label?

Examine the label from all sides and replace it with something that feels more true, if it remains true then leave it.

Labels can be great shortcuts for the mind if they are true

[ThePoint]

On 27/10/2022 at 1:06 PM, tessus said:

Examine the label from all sides and replace it with something that feels more true, if it remains true then leave it.

Labels can be great shortcuts for the mind if they are true

@tessus

Okay. Maybe 90% responsibility? But I want to be 100% responsible. That 10% that’s left over makes me a victim. 

21 hours ago, lxlichael said:

@ThePoint  Value appraisal is the division of life uncertainty.

@lxlichael I don’t understand.

[NoSelfSelf]

By blaming someone else for your problems,mistakes you name it...

Not having 100% accountability...

[ThePoint]

On 28/10/2022 at 6:35 PM, NoSelfSelf said:

By blaming someone else for your problems,mistakes you name it...

Not having 100% accountability...

@NoSelfSelf I’m not blaming anyone else for my problems or mistakes. But I still feel like I’m becoming a victim in some way. I can intuit it but I just don’t know how to put it into language.

Any thoughts?

[NoSelfSelf]

@ThePoint It seems you believe you are a victim of your feelings,doesnt matter how you feel , it matters how you gonna react to it when it happens, if you say oh this feeling makes me feel like a victim(you say it subconciously most of the time)  you become it...

Thats why you need to create your original thoughts that go againts it

Like if thoughts arise i want to strangle my mom you dont do it you just say to yourself that was interesting what mind did there...

Reactive life is full of being stuck and being a victim proactive is being free but challenging...

[ThePoint]

On 30/10/2022 at 6:12 PM, NoSelfSelf said:

Thats why you need to create your original thoughts that go againts it

@NoSelfSelf How do you do this? Do you just force thoughts into your mind or something?

On 31/10/2022 at 0:56 AM, lxlichael said:

Think of your values. Notice yourself become more certain about life the more certain you become about your values. 

I don’t care about my values anymore. That’s how apathetic I am. I did Leo’s LP course and almost finished it, which means I completed the values assessment. When I first did the course I was feeling a lot of passion and spark from reading those values, but now I don’t feel anything.

[NoSelfSelf]

@ThePoint With otiginal thinking that you will stick to no matter what your mind spits..

Or you just agree with you mind(hes a tyrannt) when victim feeling or fear goes away with agreeing with it then you just do the action...

Edited November 27, 2022 by NoSelfSelf