Raptorsin7

The Way Of Mastery

100 posts in this topic

1 minute ago, Zeroguy said:

Now half of the forum are solipsists.Whatever Leo came about in future forum will switch to that.It is joke.Connect with people and mind your own business is best strategy here.

lol Amen

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Insight into why meditation doesn't work for some people:

I learned about the importance of ethics/sila when I had an incredible experience with meditation on a 10 day vipassana retreat.

I think of morality as a principle of how we create more-reality. Many of us will meditate for however long, feel some benefit, and then immediately we engage in moral conduct that simply drags us down and erases the momentum we created with meditation. I feel this now, being alone in an apartment in London, i'll meditate for a few minutes, then i'll go on the forum or browse instagram, and then boom i'm dragged back into my everyday suffering.

On a retreat or a pure environment, where there's no brainwashing from your phone/internet, and the food and weather is healthy, then you can build momentum. When you sit for an hour, and then go for a walk in nature, you can build momentum with your practice and then you can start to see really incredible benefits.

I think the people who benefit strongly from meditation in their normal lives likely already have a strong foundation of morality, with a proper diet, limited negative information consumption, etc. They may also have received a lot love from their friends and family growing up, so their baseline functioning and state of being is higher than most us. 

I'm at a point where any time I spend in a big city or away from a retreat or community is dead time, i do not have the discipline to maintain strong morality outside of a community setting, but i'm also fortunate enough that I do not have to live in a city if I don't want to. 

Retreats and high conscious spiritual communities are the path forward for the next few months/years of my life, but the next step after will likely be to find a way to maintain the spiritual gains in a more normal and integrated life. 

One trend i've noticed is people living in close proximity to meditation centers or communities, so they can remain in close contact with a great spiritual place, and yet they can also maintain some freed and autonomy in their own lives. I will likely follow this model.

Find a quality retreat center/community, grow spirituality, and then live in close proximity to said community/retreat center while I pursue my own interests and life outside of formal practice.

 

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3 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Leo is borderline retarded about spirituality

@Raptorsin7 What do you disagree with him on?


Despite the green name, I'm no longer a mod.

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@Ulax It's just a vibe check. He lacks integrity, honesty, and a genuine interest in the truth.

I could write an essay on Leo, but there's no point really. Just wanted to share for anyone following my journal who may think Leo is a good person. 

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@Raptorsin7 Quite a strong set of claims to make based on a vibe check imo. 


Despite the green name, I'm no longer a mod.

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@Ulax “If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.”- Nikola Tesla

The more I became single pointed on truth, the more ridiculous Leo became.

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Insight into Emotional Repression and A Closed Heart 

I believe i'm emotionally repressed and my energy centers are blocked. I am an emotionally cold person, but i've progressed in the past few years, and when I was on retreat a few months ago I had genuine tears and I'm so happy that I can pursue retreats and go deeper into emotions and let this shit out.

But an interesting phenomena i've noticed is that I can have a strong impact on the hearts of people I interact with. I have a sort of magnetism about me, i first noticed this when people were looking at me during my meditation retreat in BC, and i've had some strong connections with people as i've been travelling. 

I take this as a sign my energy is growing, and although I may not fully realize my energetic impact and emotional impact on people, I think others can feel it when they interact with me.

I remember i was having a conversation with a woman at Angsbaka, and I mentioned how I want to go back to India to reconnect with my Sikh/Punjabi identity, and I could tell the words had a powerful impact on her heart. I could almost see her gasp in real time, and it was like I launched a psychic missile at her heart haha. 

Even though my heart is pretty closed and I can only feel some faint sensations there, whatever i'm doing is having an impact on the hearts and minds of the people around me, which I think is pretty cool.

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Rau Le Creuset had a huge impact on my psychology growing up. This sick fuck shaped part of my mind.

I love this tv series. It's one of my favorites. 

Keira Yammato is a true divine being. When I had my crown chakra opening and I experienced pure divinity, the first thing I thought about was when Keira's seed would pop and he would get beserker abilities in combat.

I'm going to have to find someone/something that helps me to go into my beliefs to resolve all these bull shit ideas and philosophies that got stuck in my head as a kid.

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Before my 26 day retreat in Latvia with Beth Upton, I will spend at least a few days in France to pay my respects to the Emperor.

I'm really excited to see the Napoleonic stuff. I think Napoleon's grave and the graves of his Marshals will be an incredibly powerful experience for me.

https://www.kent.ac.uk/paris/news/1523/napoleon-sites-in-paris

Vive L'Empereur 

Edited by Raptorsin7

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Heading to Brighton tomorrow, and then off to Paris around the 20th. Getting bored of sitting around doing nothing in London.

Really excited for Beth's retreat in Latvia. 26 days of focused meditation with a loving teacher will be sweet. Then off to India or home to Vancouver for a few months.

This forum just triggers me lol. Every post i read I just want to call everyone retarded. 

Thank god I was born blessed and I can pursue whatever want. Imagine if any of these people had authority over me. Jesus.

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The more time I spend on the forum the more I feel this triggered energy manifesting in me. 

This place is a toxic cesspool. 

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10 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

The more time I spend on the forum the more I feel this triggered energy manifesting in me. 

This place is a toxic cesspool. 

Great realization. I hope you will be out of this place soon.

Over reading this forum caused a serious deterioration of my mental health in the past.

Edited by Raphael

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12 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

The more time I spend on the forum the more I feel this triggered energy manifesting in me. 

This place is a toxic cesspool. 

Lol.You will be fine once you fly to Latvia.No internet on retreat?

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16 hours ago, Raphael said:

Great realization. I hope you will be out of this place soon.

Over reading this forum caused a serious deterioration of my mental health in the past.

Yeah I want to get my shit together and get off this place for good.

12 hours ago, Zeroguy said:

Lol.You will be fine once you fly to Latvia.No internet on retreat?

Yeah no internet on the retreat. The retreat can't come soon enough

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I've done 3 1-hour meditations today. I feel pretty calm and i'm happy I really got into meditation today, but 3 hours isn't enough to penetrate deeply into the knots. I'm going to do another few hours today, so we'll see what 5 hours is like, but it may be that the 1 hour duration isn't enough. 

The technique is basically do-nothing. I just and let my attention rest naturally on the present moment. There seems a lot of attention around the sense of knowing my direct experience. A quote that I liked while sitting was "Know thy Self". The practice of sitting and knowing only direct experience with no effort.

It's going to be interesting to see if meditation is sufficient to resolve the knots, or if something else is needed alongside it. I have a theory that psychidelics may be as necessary as food and water to live to our potential, but the 10 day vipassana retreat felt quite psychidelic for me at times so that remains to be seen.

I will incorporate some long sits, 2 hours+, and then i'll have a better sense of how these meditations work for me.

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