billiesimon

Today I've had a spontaneous ego death/classical awakening and I'm still in shock

31 posts in this topic

@ardacigin i remembered you when reading the op's experience. When you say that you have reached a baseline of no ego, that is what you mean, right? that's the goal for me. It is not something simple because the ego has many faces. meditation is a practice that helps, but there has to be a real surrender to life. you have to stop resisting completely. hard! how to balance non-resistance with survival? It happens that the less you resist, the more you are guided. we'll see where it leads

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Breakingthewall You cant balance anything at this point since awakening will be shocking when it permanently occurs. Whatever ego death you experience in a psychedelic session will SLOWLY become your everyday reality (with more practice) and you'll figure out how to add survival post awakening, not now.

If this is your goal, here is a practice system that can help you. I've literally just posted this: 

Much love,

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
29 minutes ago, ardacigin said:

@Breakingthewall You cant balance anything at this point since awakening will be shocking when it permanently occurs. Whatever ego death you experience in a psychedelic session will SLOWLY become your everyday reality (with more practice) and you'll figure out how to add survival post awakening, not now.

If this is your goal, here is a practice system that can help you. I've literally just posted this: 

Much love,

@ardacigin

the difficult thing up to art level is to balance survival with surrender. I am in a really challenging business, in which the natural tendency would be technical obsessiveness, and the challenge is to carry it out in a completely detached but effective way. My first goal is surrender, ego death, my other goal is success. Both must be simultaneous .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

@ardacigin

the difficult thing up to art level is to balance survival with surrender. I am in a really challenging business, in which the natural tendency would be technical obsessiveness, and the challenge is to carry it out in a completely detached but effective way. My first goal is surrender, ego death, my other goal is success. Both must be simultaneous .

You can do both simultaneously prior to awakening. I didnt mean it like that. Just keep in mind, it will be harder and some days, your obssesive qualities will demolish your practice. You need to have advanced levels of mindfulness + the practice I've outlined above to refrain from OCD like egoic mode and find that conscious balance. You can only do what you aim to do with an industry strength level of practice. 

The practice above will lift many of the egoic burden you carry both in movement and stillness. But this practice requires that you get a feel for 'no self' as soon as possible in daily life. Then integration will be relatively effortless even prior to awakening.

Edited by ardacigin

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, ardacigin said:

You can do both simultaneously prior to awakening.

What do you mean with "awakening"?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Breakingthewall I mean the permanent awakening. You are doing this practice of 'seeing no self' as a preparation for awakening.It is an intuitive practice you'll grasp the more you do it. Imagine one of your LSD experiences and remember how spacious it felt. How less controlling it required to experience reality. Try to bring the same state of mind right now.

You are worrying about something you shouldnt worry too much. Just do the practice diligently and the balance will occur by itself. 'You' are not going to do it. The practice will do it.

Edited by ardacigin

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, ardacigin said:

@Breakingthewall I mean the permanent awakening. You are doing this practice of 'seeing no self' as a preparation for awakening.It is an intuitive practice you'll grasp the more you do it. Imagine one of your LSD experiences and remember how spacious it felt. How less controlling it required to experience reality. Try to bring the same state of mind right now.

I have done little lsd. I meditate daily and try to make my daily reality meditative, and I have done quite a lot of 5 meo. maybe every week. I am not so interested in punctual realizations as in getting to flow in the most perfect way possible. I use the psychedelic as a tool, not as an end, although I consider that having had complete realizations of infinity is essential, I do not think it is necessary to go deeper, although it can be beautiful. what I seek is death of the ego, surrender to what is so that I can truly love existence. I resonate with your post about the death of the ego

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

I have done little lsd. I meditate daily and try to make my daily reality meditative, and I have done quite a lot of 5 meo. maybe every week. I am not so interested in punctual realizations as in getting to flow in the most perfect way possible. I use the psychedelic as a tool, not as an end, although I consider that having had complete realizations of infinity is essential, I do not think it is necessary to go deeper, although it can be beautiful. what I seek is death of the ego, surrender to what is so that I can truly love existence. I resonate with your post about the death of the ego

5 MEO dmt is generally speaking significantly deeper than LSD. The process is the same. You need to find the 'no self' muscle in your mind and strengthen it. Use psychedelics to help you understand the insight and then try to replicate it in meditation. Do it over and over again and it will get easier.

Edited by ardacigin

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, ardacigin said:

@billiesimon Thats great. Are you still experiencing this understanding as a constant baseline or was this a one time state of insight realization that seems no longer possible to replicate?

It was a temporary state, but my baseline of consciousness has gone up. My everyday consciousness is a bit higher now, and I reach a good level of concentration/presence a lot faster. I think that now it will be easier to reach no-self again. 

I deeply feel that something subtle has changed. Today I did some self inquiry and I felt much closer to a state of samadhi, even though I did not reach it. 

Objects/perceptions are a bit more real now and I can notice way more how unconscious my everyday life is. It's literally a walking daze. Some of us have no idea how unconscious life is :|

Edited by billiesimon

Inquire in the now.

Feeling is the truest knowing ?️

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, billiesimon said:

It was a temporary state, but my baseline of consciousness has gone up. My everyday consciousness is a bit higher now, and I reach a good level of concentration/presence a lot faster. I think that now it will be easier to reach no-self again. 

I deeply feel that something subtle has changed. Today I did some self inquiry and I feel much closer to a state of samadhi, even though I did not reach it. 

Objects/perceptions are a bit more real now and I can notice way more how unconscious my everyday life is. It's literally a walking daze. Some of us have no idea how unconscious life is :|

Basically, once you become permanently awakened, this experience will be your default state.

Just keep in mind, the wall and the room is not 'true'. It is just as much of a concoction of your mind as your sense of self.

This was a solid glimpse. You are on the right track.  I suggest doing the technique I've posted here and see how it helps along with self enquiry: 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, ardacigin said:

You need to find the 'no self' muscle in your mind and strengthen it. Use psychedelics to help you understand the insight and then try to replicate it in meditation. Do it over and over again and it will get easier.

9 hours ago, ardacigin said:

Yes, more or less it's what I'm doing. Well, I'm not using the psychedelic to have an insight and understand, since i already know what I'm going to find: infinity. What i do is use it to soften the barrier of the ego again and again, It is an invaluable help since the barrier is erected again and again and only with meditation I do not reach more than a point.

that there is a real surrender of the ego is very difficult. It's not just practice, it's above all being willing to do it and understand and obey the signals that occur every moment. the ego is extremely tenacious and will return

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now