Marvelllious

I'm losing my thinking abilities

21 posts in this topic

I'm noticing a shift in awareness in the past 3 weeks which is a little concerning. Reality is more subtle and I am able to expirience almost anything and be fine with it. It's easy to focus. I'm way more present than before but I struggle with thinking. When i try to progress deeper into thought i just am in the moment looking at a random object. My expirience with reality is way more visual now. Which is pleasant but at the same time i consciously know that thinking is a must if i want to survive in the future. My pineal gland is twitching more and more often than before, I remember my dreams. Meditation is the only thing i enjoy doing lately.

The thing that bugs me is having trouble thinking when i need to. Contemplation is harder now and conversations too.

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Play chess or sudoku or anything that gets you thinking and scratching your damn head .


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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8 hours ago, Marvelllious said:

I'm noticing a shift in awareness in the past 3 weeks which is a little concerning. Reality is more subtle and I am able to expirience almost anything and be fine with it. It's easy to focus. I'm way more present than before but I struggle with thinking. When i try to progress deeper into thought i just am in the moment looking at a random object. My expirience with reality is way more visual now. Which is pleasant but at the same time i consciously know that thinking is a must if i want to survive in the future. My pineal gland is twitching more and more often than before, I remember my dreams. Meditation is the only thing i enjoy doing lately.

The thing that bugs me is having trouble thinking when i need to. Contemplation is harder now and conversations too.

Interesting, you are going through a shift. Thanks for sharing, I can relate on some levels. Your intuition is raising which is making it harder for you to focus on survival. Its okay, everything will work out at its own pace but....it may be a rocky ride for a bit. Crossed fingers that it doesn't rock you TOO much. You may start getting a peek...at the magical side of reality as well. I pray you do....then you get to see the fun side of spirituality. 


You are a selfless LACK OF APPEARANCE, that CONSTRUCTS AN APPEARANCE. But that appearance can disappear and reappear and we call that change, we call it time, we call it space, we call it distance, we call distinctness, we call it other. But notice...this appearance, is a SELF. A SELF IS A CONSTRUCTION!!! 

So if you want to know the TRUTH OF THE CONSTRUCTION. Just deconstruct the construction!!!! No point in playing these mind games!!! No point in creating needless complexity!!! The truth of what you are is a BLANK!!!! A selfless awareness....then that means there is NO OTHER, and everything you have ever perceived was JUST AN APPEARANCE, A MIRAGE, AN ILLUSION, IMAGINARY. 

Everything that appears....appears out of a lack of appearance/void/no-thing, non-sense (can't be sensed because there is nothing to sense). That is what you are, and what arises...is made of that. So nonexistence, arises/creates existence. And thus everything is solved.

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The trick is to think without words, don’t try to subvocalize in a linear way, instead use intuition to go straight to the answer. It’s a silent thought process jumping from one symbol/image to the next.

Edited by integral

How is this post just me acting out my ego in the usual ways? Is this post just me venting and justifying my selfishness? Are the things you are posting in alignment with principles of higher consciousness and higher stages of ego development? Are you acting in a mature or immature way? Are you being selfish or selfless in your communication? Are you acting like a monkey or like a God-like being?

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13 hours ago, integral said:

The trick is to think without words, don’t try to subvocalize in a linear way, instead use intuition to go straight to the answer. It’s a silent thought process jumping from one symbol/image to the next.

Are there any feelings involved? And also could you describe it in more detail.

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14 hours ago, Razard86 said:

Interesting, you are going through a shift. Thanks for sharing, I can relate on some levels. Your intuition is raising which is making it harder for you to focus on survival. Its okay, everything will work out at its own pace but....it may be a rocky ride for a bit. Crossed fingers that it doesn't rock you TOO much. You may start getting a peek...at the magical side of reality as well. I pray you do....then you get to see the fun side of spirituality. 

It is.

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I had this a couple of years ago (still do to some extent). You either have to let go of the desire to control it, or stop meditating. If you can't think of anything to say in a conversation, that's fine. Another possibility is that you're chronically repressing your emotions and storing unconscious pent-up energy (that's what I had).

When is that last time you've felt truly sad or angry? Do you often stop yourself from expressing an emotion, lashing out, or saying what you truly feel because it's "unspiritual"? I won't go further than this, but it's something to think about. If you're emotionally grounded, conversations should flow effortlessly, with or without a hyperactive mind. 

It also might all be in your mind (ironically enough). Just because you feel like there are fewer thoughts running inside your mind, that doesn't mean it appears like that from the outside. Enlightened spiritual teachers virtually always have an empty mind, but they can still talk a lot. They're not afraid of silences either though :P 

Edited by Carl-Richard

Intrinsic joy is revealed in the marriage of meaning and being.

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I had this happen to me as well. And while I cannot say whether this is good or bad, I can tell you what I did. For me this just happened to be something akin to mental retardation. Mental Fog. I was way more present and visual yes, but I could not be analytical. Life felt numb rather than alive. 

So I read up some academic books and contemplated until my brain got up to speed again. 

This is just my hypothesis but maybe it's that your brain hemispheres can fall from dominance and the other can take over. For example, we as 21st century humans, are usually left dominant, but after extensive utilisation of the right due to spirituality but little to no of the left through contemplation, your dominant hemisphere can switch. 

I prefer analysis and my current goals require it, so that's where I stay. But I believe it's helpful to always stay in proper balance. 

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If you continue to practice, you’ll eventually get to the point where crystal clear and useful thought happens on its own without any sense of control, at least if you can keep progressing that is. It puts a whole new meaning to no-mind. 


Everybody wanna be a mystic, but nobody wanna dissolve themselves to the point of a psych ward visit. 
https://youtu.be/5i5jGU9wn2M?si=-rXSAiT1MMZrdBtY

 

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20 minutes ago, BipolarGrowth said:

If you continue to practice, you’ll eventually get to the point where crystal clear and useful thought happens on its own without any sense of control, at least if you can keep progressing that is. It puts a whole new meaning to no-mind. 

I describe it as I can only have meaningful thoughts; either an insight or something that is immediately relevant to the situation. I can't think the same useless thoughts over and over again. The only way I can initiate that machinery is if I catch myself doing something wrong and somehow avoid correcting course, or if I consciously imagine myself explaining something to someone. Then it's like that repetitive self-talk, because you can always repeat and refine the explanation in your head.

Edited by Carl-Richard

Intrinsic joy is revealed in the marriage of meaning and being.

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I went through this shift several years ago. Mind chatter ended and when I meditated I was purely just experiencing “physical”reality without anything additional. No labeling. It became that I could now think only if I wanted to. I feel like it’s been this way for so long now I’ve kind of forgotten how things used to be and I take it for granted because so many struggle with thoughts running wild. 

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On 10/6/2022 at 1:05 AM, Carl-Richard said:

I had this a couple of years ago (still do to some extent). You either have to let go of the desire to control it, or stop meditating. If you can't think of anything to say in a conversation, that's fine. Another possibility is that you're chronically repressing your emotions and storing unconscious pent-up energy (that's what I had).

When is that last time you've felt truly sad or angry? Do you often stop yourself from expressing an emotion, lashing out, or saying what you truly feel because it's "unspiritual"? I won't go further than this, but it's something to think about. If you're emotionally grounded, conversations should flow effortlessly, with or without a hyperactive mind. 

It also might all be in your mind (ironically enough). Just because you feel like there are fewer thoughts running inside your mind, that doesn't mean it appears like that from the outside. Enlightened spiritual teachers virtually always have an empty mind, but they can still talk a lot. They're not afraid of silences either though :P 

Over the last couple of days it has been getting better. The conversations with people started flowing once again in an interesting way. I think my lotus of control shifted from external to internal. Which is good but it needs getting used to. A big problem i have right now is dieting for some reason when i eat in the mornings i puke. I know I'm hungry but i just puke. It's as if I'm associating the hunger with a gag reflex it is so strange.

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@Swarnim Man lately I don't know what is true for me when it comes to values and standpoints on important topics. I thought i had figured that out but the meditation just broke that. Maybe i should start reading more and contemplate i started carl jung in search of the soul and it's great. Mhm maybe i should rewatch Leo's video on how to contemplate again.

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@BipolarGrowth

On 10/6/2022 at 3:12 AM, BipolarGrowth said:

If you continue to practice, you’ll eventually get to the point where crystal clear and useful thought happens on its own without any sense of control, at least if you can keep progressing that is. It puts a whole new meaning to no-mind. 

 

That sounds like connecting to the akashic records.

 

 

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@Carl-Richard

On 10/6/2022 at 3:28 AM, Carl-Richard said:

I describe it as I can only have meaningful thoughts; either an insight or something that is immediately relevant to the situation. I can't think the same useless thoughts over and over again. The only way I can initiate that machinery is if I catch myself doing something wrong and somehow avoid correcting course, or if I consciously imagine myself explaining something to someone. Then it's like that repetitive self-talk, because you can always repeat and refine the explanation in your head.

Yes it is something like that right now. The time i posted this i was legit unable to to hear this voice inside my head.

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@kamwalker

3 hours ago, kamwalker said:

I went through this shift several years ago. Mind chatter ended and when I meditated I was purely just experiencing “physical”reality without anything additional. No labeling. It became that I could now think only if I wanted to. I feel like it’s been this way for so long now I’ve kind of forgotten how things used to be and I take it for granted because so many struggle with thoughts running wild. 

 

What is your expirience with thinking now?

 

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On 10/4/2022 at 1:15 PM, Marvelllious said:

I'm noticing a shift in awareness in the past 3 weeks which is a little concerning. Reality is more subtle and I am able to expirience almost anything and be fine with it. It's easy to focus. I'm way more present than before but I struggle with thinking. When i try to progress deeper into thought i just am in the moment looking at a random object. My expirience with reality is way more visual now. Which is pleasant but at the same time i consciously know that thinking is a must if i want to survive in the future. My pineal gland is twitching more and more often than before, I remember my dreams. Meditation is the only thing i enjoy doing lately.

The thing that bugs me is having trouble thinking when i need to. Contemplation is harder now and conversations too.

I know what you mean. I am the exact same way right now actually. It almost feels like I am a highly aware monkey with no idea what is going on. 

All I am aware of is that everything is batshit crazy.

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On 10/17/2022 at 2:10 AM, Marvelllious said:

Yes it is something like that right now. The time i posted this i was legit unable to to hear this voice inside my head.

I could not make voices in my head until the age of 25. Voices in head is not the same as thinking. Thoughts are with out words, sounds or images. You can think with raw thoughts directly and "know" what you are thinking with out having to recite it in your head with a voice. Sub-vocalization is an extra step and bad habit that the majority of people do. Its the process of taking your raw thoughts and converting them to words, monologuing with them linearly, a slow and inefficient step that can completely be avoided. Think with the raw thoughts directly. 

Edited by integral

How is this post just me acting out my ego in the usual ways? Is this post just me venting and justifying my selfishness? Are the things you are posting in alignment with principles of higher consciousness and higher stages of ego development? Are you acting in a mature or immature way? Are you being selfish or selfless in your communication? Are you acting like a monkey or like a God-like being?

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34 minutes ago, integral said:

I could not make voices in my head until the age of 25. Voices in head is not the same as thinking. Thoughts are with out words, sounds or images. You can think with raw thoughts directly and "know" what you are thinking with out having to recite it in your head with a voice. Sub-vocalization is an extra step and bad habit that the majority of people do. Its the process of taking your raw thoughts and converting them to words, monologuing with them linearly, a slow and inefficient step that can completely be avoided. Think with the raw thoughts directly. 

Some people actually literally hear their thoughts, I have a friend who genuinely hears his thoughts. I'm not capable of this, I can think linearly but it has absolutely no voice to it, it's just a thought. I think I mostly use raw thoughts too, I already know what I would think before I think linearly it so I usually just skip the thinking process where I would become conscious of it in word format. Though in my default state I do not think that much at all, I never have the text I'm either reading or writing occur in my head at all for example, which is such a nice feeling compared to how it used to be when I still automatically thought about everything that I read et cetera.


I am Physically Immortal

I am also more than God :)

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1 hour ago, integral said:

I could not make voices in my head until the age of 25.

Can you imagine parts of a song? I one time played an entire song from start to finish in my head (weed helped), and at one point, it almost felt like the sound was coming from the outside.


Intrinsic joy is revealed in the marriage of meaning and being.

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