Pressure creates a diamond mindset

[StarStruck]

Most people who are extraordinary grew up in difficult circumstances with a lot of pressure from their environments. Do you guys think that is the only way to be extraordinary? I think solving life problems successfully creates this inner diamond  

We all know that rich kids that got no pressure from their environment and got spoiled, have fucked up mindsets. In fact their parents spoil the future of the kids by removing all their life problems and protecting their children from real life circumstances. I always wondered if there is salvation for lazy rich kids who never had problems in their life in their youth and then be expected to be grown adults instead of grown ass children.

Some rich kids (who become adults) fuck it up so hard that they go broke and end up in difficult life circumstances and because the lack of a powerful mindset and vision they either make or break in life. Most of the time they can’t handle life and end up as a looser or they commit suicide. 

I think there is a fair share of people who commit suicide are people who get spoiled or protected too much. You don’t need super rich parents to be spoiled. They don’t develop this inner diamond mindset and vision (that is crafted through overcoming life problems). They fail at becoming an adult and life becomes too hard for them to cope with reality. While people who had a hard knock life don’t have time to think about suicide; they ****’in busy surviving in life.  

In a sense it is better to have dysfunctional poor parents than have dysfunctional rich parents. Dysfunctional rich parents don’t expose their children to life problems and thus the children don’t have the chance to grow from them. In a sense they become grown ass children due to lack of mental and emotional development. I can clearly recognize this trait in people. My parents weren’t rich but I can recognize it somewhat in myself too. 

The question really is how do you unspoil yourself when you are spoiled? I knew some older female in her 50’ies and she came from a rich family. She acted like she was 12. I had deep conversations with her and I felt bad for her how her parents spoiled her future for her by spoiling her. She had problems in her personal and professional sphere. All the therapy in the world couldn’t help her.

Getting something while you don’t deserve it is really the kiss of death. 

Edited October 4, 2022 by StarStruck

[Alexop]

Partially agree, depends on your personality, if you are able to turn adversity into motivation. What doesn't kill you makes you more crippled most of the times. My family was very disfunctional, my personality saved me, had to deal with trauma, bullying, zero social skills and emotional awareness, but that is me. My sister is crippled, all my colleagues and friends who had my fate are crippled. But yea, when you are not challenged by anything, you could be also f***d. Parenting is a fine art, requires lots of personal development and specifical training/informations. Even if you parent perfectly, the kid can be lured into some toxic group or ideology.

[StarStruck]

40 minutes ago, Alexop said:

Partially agree, depends on your personality, if you are able to turn adversity into motivation. What doesn't kill you makes you more crippled most of the times. My family was very disfunctional, my personality saved me, had to deal with trauma, bullying, zero social skills and emotional awareness, but that is me. My sister is crippled, all my colleagues and friends who had my fate are crippled. But yea, when you are not challenged by anything, you could be also f***d. Parenting is a fine art, requires lots of personal development and specifical training/informations. Even if you parent perfectly, the kid can be lured into some toxic group or ideology.

It is true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Adversity is good if it doesn't bring chronic wounds to the soul. With psychedelics it can actually be fixed.

But if you never used your adversity muscles it is even worse but it could be my bias.

 

[Carl-Richard]

According to attachment theory, the child has two primary needs: love/comfort vs. exploration. Both need to be satisfied for the child to grow. It involves letting the child get exposed to challenges and then getting love and comfort when they feel scared or upset. Then, as the child grows, they will internalize this regulatory capacity and become resilient as well as sensitive human beings. When those two needs aren't properly addressed during childhood, you generally end up with an emotionally dysregulated person. For example, lack of love can lead to trauma and dissociation, complex PTSD, borderline, etc., while lack of exploration can lead to anxiety, depression, etc.

[Alexop]

3 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

According to attachment theory, the child has two primary needs: love/comfort vs. exploration. Both need to be satisfied for the child to grow. It involves letting the child get exposed to challenges and then getting love and comfort when they feel scared or upset. Then, as the child grows, they will internalize this regulatory capacity and become resilient as well as sensitive human beings. When those two needs aren't properly addressed during childhood, you generally end up with an emotionally dysregulated person. For example, lack of love can lead to trauma and dissociation, complex PTSD, borderline, etc., while lack of exploration can lead to anxiety, depression, etc.

Boom!

Rasing children is like doing professional sports. Learn the right tehnique/tactics, push it to the edge but still listen to your body and stop when you can cause injury.

[Bazooka Jesus]

12 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Most people who are extraordinary grew up in difficult circumstances with a lot of pressure from their environments. Do you guys think that is the only way to be extraordinary? I think solving life problems successfully creates this inner diamond  

We all know that rich kids that got no pressure from their environment and got spoiled, have fucked up mindsets. In fact their parents spoil the future of the kids by removing all their life problems and protecting their children from real life circumstances. I always wondered if there is salvation for lazy rich kids who never had problems in their life in their youth and then be expected to be grown adults instead of grown ass children.

Some rich kids (who become adults) fuck it up so hard that they go broke and end up in difficult life circumstances and because the lack of a powerful mindset and vision they either make or break in life. Most of the time they can’t handle life and end up as a looser or they commit suicide. 

I think there is a fair share of people who commit suicide are people who get spoiled or protected too much. You don’t need super rich parents to be spoiled. They don’t develop this inner diamond mindset and vision (that is crafted through overcoming life problems). They fail at becoming an adult and life becomes too hard for them to cope with reality. While people who had a hard knock life don’t have time to think about suicide; they ****’in busy surviving in life.  

In a sense it is better to have dysfunctional poor parents than have dysfunctional rich parents. Dysfunctional rich parents don’t expose their children to life problems and thus the children don’t have the chance to grow from them. In a sense they become grown ass children due to lack of mental and emotional development. I can clearly recognize this trait in people. My parents weren’t rich but I can recognize it somewhat in myself too. 

The question really is how do you unspoil yourself when you are spoiled? I knew some older female in her 50’ies and she came from a rich family. She acted like she was 12. I had deep conversations with her and I felt bad for her how her parents spoiled her future for her by spoiling her. She had problems in her personal and professional sphere. All the therapy in the world couldn’t help her.

Getting something while you don’t deserve it is really the kiss of death. 

Yeah, this decscribes my personal life dilemma to a T.... even though I didn't really grow up in a super rich family.

Being the youngest of three brothers, my parents raised me with a constant attitude of "you can't do this, I have to do it for you"; while they didn't outright shower me with expensive stuff, they basically handed me everything I needed without me having to lift a finger for it. Even after I left home, they kept sending me money every single month... which I, being the borderline autistic introvert that I am, used as a welcome opportunity to avoid any kind of real work and to essentially hide from the big scary world inside my safe little loner bubble. - At the same time, I never really felt acknowledged and validated as a person inside the dysfunctionally neurotic family that I was / still am part of; growing up, I was constantly bullied, patronized and humiliated by my two elder brothers who never missed an opportunity to let me feel that I am stupid, weak and worthless; this kind of treatment left a deep and indelible imprint in my soul which is prevalent to this day.

So, as you said, today I am essentially a little insecure kid inside a grown man's body; I have no backbone to speak of, avoid real life conflict and adversity at all costs and still basically have no idea how to make a proper living... and no matter how hard I try to turn things around, it always feels like I am running against an invisible concrete wall that, for the life of me, I just cannot seem to break through.

At this point, it seems to me that l am pretty much destined to eventually end up as a homeless bum... I mean, I have been feeling psychologically homeless for the past two decades, so it's probably only a matter of time until my outer life circumstances follow suit.

[NoSelfSelf]

Easy... push comfort zone towards something worth to you,almost every day and that's extremely hard to follow , thats probably single most important reason why there are few "extraordinary" people...

Sacreficing feeling good to be extraoridinary on daily basis...

[zurew]

This rule only applies if we are talking about challenges and pressure that you have the necessary capacity and capability to overcome. If you have constant pressure and you have no necessary tools to overcome that pressure, then you will crumble.

[Danioover9000]

@StarStruck

On 10/4/2022 at 5:25 AM, StarStruck said:

Most people who are extraordinary grew up in difficult circumstances with a lot of pressure from their environments. Do you guys think that is the only way to be extraordinary? I think solving life problems successfully creates this inner diamond  

We all know that rich kids that got no pressure from their environment and got spoiled, have fucked up mindsets. In fact their parents spoil the future of the kids by removing all their life problems and protecting their children from real life circumstances. I always wondered if there is salvation for lazy rich kids who never had problems in their life in their youth and then be expected to be grown adults instead of grown ass children.

Some rich kids (who become adults) fuck it up so hard that they go broke and end up in difficult life circumstances and because the lack of a powerful mindset and vision they either make or break in life. Most of the time they can’t handle life and end up as a looser or they commit suicide. 

I think there is a fair share of people who commit suicide are people who get spoiled or protected too much. You don’t need super rich parents to be spoiled. They don’t develop this inner diamond mindset and vision (that is crafted through overcoming life problems). They fail at becoming an adult and life becomes too hard for them to cope with reality. While people who had a hard knock life don’t have time to think about suicide; they ****’in busy surviving in life.  

In a sense it is better to have dysfunctional poor parents than have dysfunctional rich parents. Dysfunctional rich parents don’t expose their children to life problems and thus the children don’t have the chance to grow from them. In a sense they become grown ass children due to lack of mental and emotional development. I can clearly recognize this trait in people. My parents weren’t rich but I can recognize it somewhat in myself too. 

The question really is how do you unspoil yourself when you are spoiled? I knew some older female in her 50’ies and she came from a rich family. She acted like she was 12. I had deep conversations with her and I felt bad for her how her parents spoiled her future for her by spoiling her. She had problems in her personal and professional sphere. All the therapy in the world couldn’t help her.

Getting something while you don’t deserve it is really the kiss of death. 

   It's depended on various factors, such as your stage of development, cognitive and moral development, psychology and personality, states of consciousness, life experiences and other lines of development, from the individual level to the collective level.

   You asked two questions:

Most people who are extraordinary grew up in difficult circumstances with a lot of pressure from their environments. Do you guys think that is the only way to be extraordinary?

   To me, I think this is an assumption, I think you meant some people, as most people on average lead mediocre life and situations, some in lower class lifestyles and some in upper class lifestyles, each environment and in groups to out groups in these environments will inform and influence what a person is. What you're likely referring to are people such as Manny Pacquiao or Bruce Lee. Both are born and raised in some degree of poverty, influenced to some degree by these conditions, and eventually overcame the pressures placed by such circumstances. However, most people, placed under their circumstances, would not successfully overcome such odds, as each person's development, internally and externally, will be unique to each individual. 

The question really is how do you get to un-spoil yourself when you are spoiled?

   Have the intention to develop yourself into a strong human being, by first acknowledging where you are at in your development, and your circumstances, and be willing to barter and negotiate your way into higher stages of development. Face each transformational dilemma head on, and learn from your failures, while learning, researching, contemplating your LP. Get really clear where you are at and engage with whatever tools that's available to you in that stage.

[caspex]

"It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it." - Lou Holtz 

[Jacob Morres]

I don't think you need to come from a poor background to be conventionally successful. In fact, it's much more likely you come from a better background to achieve this stuff 

Steph curry (best or 2nd best nba player) for example didn't have extraordinarily horrible circumstances. He had extraordinary good resources. Your environment can make you 

100% call Cap on needing bad circumstances. Good upbringing and resources will help you succeed 

Edited October 7, 2022 by Jacob Morres

[Danioover9000]

@Medhansh

12 hours ago, Medhansh said:

Good post, good ideology overall. 

But what about too much pressure? Pressure much more than an individual person can handle? Why isn't anyone taking about that?

Lots of pressure will create diamonds. But too much pressure will eventually break those diamonds. 

Afterall, a person can only take a certain amount of pressure. 

   Fun fact: a full set of armour, made of diamonds, is more likely to break than a set made from iron/steel.

[StarStruck]

4 hours ago, Danioover9000 said:

@Medhansh

   Fun fact: a full set of armour, made of diamonds, is more likely to break than a set made from iron/steel.

Diamonds are very small and one of the toughest materials in the world. It is not comparable to iron lol. 

 

Edited October 7, 2022 by StarStruck

[Danioover9000]

@StarStruck

50 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Diamonds are very small and one of the toughest materials in the world. It is not comparable to iron lol. 

 

   Theoretically, they did a myth buster video, if Minecraft was real, and you had diamond weapons and armor, it wouldn't be as epic as you'd functionally think, Bling factor is still there though.

[flowboy]

On 04/10/2022 at 6:25 AM, StarStruck said:

In a sense it is better to have dysfunctional poor parents than have dysfunctional rich parents.

You're conflating life challenges with abuse/dysfunction, and falling into black and white thinking.

You can have good, healthy parents who know how to support you in overcoming your own obstacles.

So no spoiling, but also no dysfunction.

This is what creates the happiest successful adults.

There's people driven by a bad childhood, who accomplish a lot, but they're not any happier than you. Because of their dysfunctional childhood. So be careful who you envy.

[something_else]

I grew up in a pretty well off family as an only child and I feel like I have a lot of laziness baked into me as a result, which seriously hinders me

However I knew plenty of people who were also in similar situation that I went to school with that took advantage of their privileged situation to get an exceptional start in life

I don’t think I would wish to have had a worse or less privileged upbringing, I think I would have wished that I had not been an only child, and had parents who enforced stricter rules on me instead of being overly relaxed and giving me too much without effort on my part

[StarStruck]

@flowboy Great point.

@something_else old habits are difficult to change but it is possible. Upbringing is basically which habits you get from your parents. If you get good habits you are lucky, if you get bad habits: good luck changing them. The more older you get the more difficult. Perhaps psychedelics can do some good but it can equally make things worse too.

[Danioover9000]

@Medhansh

20 hours ago, Medhansh said:

My point was, pressure and tough situations are good only up to a certain limit. A person can only handle a certain bandwidth of pressure, beyond which he starts cracking up. 

Too much pressure is just as bad as absolutely no pressure, if not more. 

   Actually, the fun fact about a set of diamond weapons and armour had little to do with how too much pressure can be more harmful than good to a young male's mind. Just people think diamonds are indestructible and think they can make excellent sets of protection. No, they don't.

[StarStruck]

@Danioover9000 you might be right. I just came across Andrew Tate's program called "Iron mindset": it is very good actually. I'm surprised how good the program is. ?

Andrew Tate was a guy with a difficult poor upbringing. Would he be Andrew Tate today if he was spoiled by his parents? I don't think so.

Same with Leo: he had to endure too. Would we know Leo Gura today if his parents spoiled him?

 I'm just saying that I'm seeing a pattern. It is called FIGHTING spirit. Andrew Tate's program is gold if you lack this mindset.

Edited October 8, 2022 by StarStruck