How To Change At The Core of Who you are?

[SQAAD]

I am interested in some really serious deep change. No superficial sh*t.

What is the key? What is the way or the method?

From my understanding it seems that recognition or awareness of the thing you want to change is the most important component. But then how do you proceed with the change? What exactly do you do?

Is just a method of repeating new behaviours until they become a part of who you are?

Edited September 20, 2022 by SQAAD

[hyruga]

Yes you are right. Repeating new behaviours until they become a part of who you are. 

Other than this, you can focus on the positives. For example, joining a church can bring you positive stuff like having more friends, being able to help one another. There can be negative stuff but don't focus on them.

It's the same reason why people can't quit smoking. Besides the addictive nature of nicotine, smokers can find more smokers friends to talk to and they form a unique clique.

Changing the environment also helps you form new habits. So you can read books on how to optimise your environment.

Edited September 21, 2022 by hyruga

[NoSelfSelf]

Im researching this right now ill be having answers in few months i think..

Thing is first you need to get to your core and then you act from your core 

Right now you are acting totally outside of your core so you feel like you need to change it but solution is to get there how? Im yet to figure it out...so far practically stop listening to anyone online and generate answers for yourself that could be a little practice...

Notice the difference beteween things outside of you like if you identify with group of friends you hang out with or your profession thats why you cant change i mean be at your core mind is plugged in matrix..

Edited September 21, 2022 by NoSelfSelf

[SQAAD]

@hyruga

On 21/9/2022 at 1:41 PM, hyruga said:

 

Other than this, you can focus on the positives. For example, joining a church can bring you positive stuff like having more friends, being able to help one another. There can be negative stuff but don't focus on them.

 

These Christians are onto something man.. It's not all bs like many think. I know many people who suffered from mental illnesses and etc who got really better after they found a connection to God. 

This guy suffered from severe PTSD and faith in Jesus really did save his life.

 

[SQAAD]

@NoSelfSelf

On 21/9/2022 at 2:33 PM, NoSelfSelf said:

Right now you are acting totally outside of your core so you feel like you need to change it

What do you mean? Why am i acting outside of my core?

 

On 21/9/2022 at 2:33 PM, NoSelfSelf said:

Notice the difference beteween things outside of you like if you identify with group of friends you hang out with or your profession thats why you cant change i mean be at your core mind is plugged in matrix..

I would argue that these things that i identify are not really outside of me. I could identify with anything. Its still a part of my psyche.

If i don't identify with anything , then its just Pure Awareness with no objects we might say.

[Arthogaan]

"You either change or postpone the change. There is no in between." - that was huge change of perspective for me.

 

[Nilsi]

On 9/20/2022 at 6:51 PM, SQAAD said:

I am interested in some really serious deep change. No superficial sh*t.

What is the key? What is the way or the method?

From my understanding it seems that recognition or awareness of the thing you want to change is the most important component. But then how do you proceed with the change? What exactly do you do?

Is just a method of repeating new behaviours until they become a part of who you are?

This is kind of what actualized.org as a whole is about, no? This can't be broken down into some kind of proposition. Just keep doing your self-actualization and spiritual work and you'll be good.

[gettoefl]

can you even name one fixed attribute you possess at your so called core that makes you you

is your gender identity your sexual orientation your eye hair skin color fixed

do you know what makes you you

who or what are you

 

[StarStruck]

Core identity is made of habits

Habits is made of routines

Routines is made of day to day actions

 

[NoSelfSelf]

@SQAAD Because you dont know yourself at your core...when you dont then your mind plugs into social matrix and gets defined by outside forces...its all inside you but where does the mind goes towards outside not inside where core is...

But i dont know about the core deeper so cant talk about it but i can tell you your mind is either focused on you or on the outside...

Real change is when you look outside through your lens not influenced by others...

[Loba]

Face death.  Honestly and openly as you can.  Question your biases, look into your fears.  Write a lot.  Try to see the innerworkings and patterns and programs that you were given as a child.  Be honest about what you like and don't like.  Don't steal personality traits from others, recognize who you are as an individual.  You can do this by being present, open and receptive to your own inner stream of ideas and thoughts.  Try to connect to a sense of flow in the things that you love to do, write down everything that you can that will bring you a sense of resolution into your personality core.

The best way to do this is to simply come to terms with death, this frees up the ego, puts focus on yourself in your body and mind, gives you perspective into the things you want and what you're avoiding.

Get detailed about what you want to change within yourself.

An example - I have anger issues, ones brought on by stressful circumstances.  Over the past three months I have been wanting to change these around and have been getting to the core of why they are there.  Daily introspection.  I've gone into my fears of death, I've looked into my childhood patterns, I've been writing a lot, learning about sexuality, and have become more creative and expressive as a part of this process which was a side affect from simply wanting to change this one thing - a whole host of other benefits manifested.  Once you tip that first domino into self reflection, the rest will follow.

The biggest thing is not to lose your sense of self in the process.  Feel around for it.  You might find that people try to keep you in homeostasis as you develop yourself, but this is a benefit not a negative.  You might need to change your environment, friend group, all sorts of things as you adjust into your new self as a different, better version of you.  Don't let anyone steal your thunder.  You got this, good luck!