There has to be a hack...

[Space]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@onacloudynight You are developing wrong ideas about women and sex. You are getting too attached to outcome.

When you genuinely attract a girl, she will make it easy for you to sleep with her. She will come to you.

Be careful making this about sex. Enjoy the process of going out and growing your social skills.

You still don't understand how to communicate with girls. That's the core issue. Just grabbing some numbers is not enough.

Stop thinking about sex and stop chasing girls. Rather, focus on developing genuine socialization skills.

Leo you mentioned in your recent video you've been going out multiple times a week. I'm honestly struggling to find the motivation to develop my social skills and talk to women/date etc. It's so easy these days to just sit at home and work, stay on the computer. How do you muster the motivation the go out so regularly? Does it retract from your capacity to work, in terms of time and energy?

[aurum]

1 hour ago, Roy said:

I'll tell you the key that will take a HUGE weight off your shoulders, and it will really obvious - You need to have other things going on in your life that are more important than getting a girlfriend or having sex.

- Have goals for getting good grades at school.

- If you're working, focus on trying to get a raise or promotion so you can make more money (which helps everything else).

- Volunteer somewhere.

- Do hobbies or sports to help blow steam off and have fun.

Having a good life and being put together will make you the person that attracts others, and puts you in a position to have opportunities to meet many people. If your ONLY goal is to get girls and you're doing it "full-time" of course it's going to be devastating and really disappointing when you don't get results.

This is good advice. If you have this sort of lack mindset, it can really turn people off and come across as creepy.

But I want to add some nuance for anyone reading this as well.

I’ve found that my dating life is always the best when it’s a top priority in my life. And when it’s not a top priority, it starts to slack.

This just makes obvious sense. Having an abundant dating life requires a lot of time, energy and commitment to that area of your life. Which requires you to make it a priority.

In reality, if I truly have something better to be doing, I just end up doing that thing instead. If you truly have something better to be doing than dating, than you won’t be spending much time dating. You’ll be doing those other things.

Either choice is fine and just really depends on what you want.

There can be crossover of course. Working on your career might give you the money to be successful in dating later. But still, at some point you have to make dating a priority if you want success in that area.

Otherwise, you’ll just be a rich guy who works all the time. And I can guarantee that a guy who is partying all the time trying to meet girls will have a better dating life than that guy.

 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Tron said:

I have all that, but girls never actually like me. just the validation i give them

Consider the possibility that you don't actually have that but you think you do.

Getting laid is surprisingly easy once you do the right things. But learning the right things is surprisingly hard. The learning curve is very steep for those who aren't naturals or extroverts. But it's worth it.

1 hour ago, Space said:

Leo you mentioned in your recent video you've been going out multiple times a week. I'm honestly struggling to find the motivation to develop my social skills and talk to women/date etc. It's so easy these days to just sit at home and work, stay on the computer.

Yes, it's easy to be a zombie. That's what I talked about at the end of my latest video on How Socialization Makes You Dumb.

Quote

How do you muster the motivation the go out so regularly?

It's challenging. But I'm also learning to enjoy it. It provides a nice palette cleanser from my work.

I'm very motivated because I'm getting old and my time to game is limited, so it's now or never.

Quote

Does it retract from your capacity to work, in terms of time and energy?

Yes, massively. I have to manage my time and energy very carefully to make it work. I work less than half as much when I'm going out because it's just too exhausting. But also, I'm in a position where I don't need to work as much as I used to. Some phases in your life you need to work a lot in order to create space in the future for other things. That's how I designed by life.

Edited September 13, 2022 by Leo Gura

[petar8p]

5 hours ago, Space said:

How do you muster the motivation the go out so regularly? Does it retract from your capacity to work, in terms of time and energy?

You're running out of time and nobody can do it for you. Discomfort > Regret. 

 

You're basically consciously admitting to yourself that you won't do it because you're scared and unmotivated. 

 

There's no motivation. The pure fact that you're missing out on amazing women and developing yourself as a person should make you go do those things. 

 

If not, learn to love and respect yourself more, so the love and respect for yourself are building blocks for getting most out of your youth. Motivation is fleeting. Find something with substance.

[petar8p]

5 hours ago, Tron said:

I have all that, but girls never actually like me. just the validation i give them

Perhaps you're needing them to like you because you don't like and aren't in love with yourself?

 

Anything you need a woman to do for you to feel good enough is going to repel them at some point. If you're self-sufficient, she'll want to be that cherry on top. 

 

This is one of my favourite posts. Thanks!

 

[onacloudynight]

Alright I'm going to the beach today.

Wish me luck guys! I want a vibrant social life!!!

[Tron]

12 hours ago, petar8p said:

Perhaps you're needing them to like you because you don't like and aren't in love with yourself?

 

Anything you need a woman to do for you to feel good enough is going to repel them at some point. If you're self-sufficient, she'll want to be that cherry on top. 

 

This is one of my favourite posts. Thanks!

 

nah i refuse to accept anything is wrong with me anymore. Because wondering if I dont really love myself paradoxically makes me not really love myself. I'm done questioning that from now on.

I'm good looking, I'm smart, and I have a lot going for myself. If I were a woman, I would feel foolish to let me slip away. I've spent years working on myself and being the best version of myself. Years. I took over a year off from dating to be alone with myself and find that love. And continue to do so. I am more developed in general than most people my age. I'm above average. I refused to not acknowledge my self worth any longer. 

And the interest is there. 100%. But if they're being fake about it, then they are simply trying to manipulate me for their emotional gain. There is really no other explanation. Because I know for a fact that they weren't just being nice or trying to avoid hurting my feelings. They put themselves out there. They let me know they wanted to see me. I didn't pressure them at all. All of them suggested going out with me. That is an undeniable fact. 

Why do I hit this same pattern? I don't know. At this point I attribute it to outside forces. God, truth, whatever you wanna call it, does not want me to be happy with this. How else could I possibly have the luck I do? I succeed in life socially with all other forms of relationships. But this is something I realize I can never trust. 

 

Edited September 14, 2022 by Tron

[Tron]

 

17 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Consider the possibility that you don't actually have that but you think you do.

 

I considered that forever, that was my issue. I am great with people and all forms of relationships except romantic ones. I have an abundant social life, I have the ability to socialize and attract people with my personality. It's a total mindfuck. There is no reason why this should be any different. But it is. 

The biggest mistake I was making was thinking I wasn't good enough. I realize that isn't the case. I have it. 

It's not my fault. I'm not doing anything wrong. The only answer to this mind fuck must be fate itself. 

Edited September 14, 2022 by Tron

[petar8p]

2 hours ago, Tron said:

Why do I hit this same pattern? I don't know. At this point I attribute it to outside forces.

We hit patterns only to learn how to grow out of them. Nothing else.

[petar8p]

I can't get it with you. Something is not being told. 

[Tron]

1 hour ago, petar8p said:

I can't get it with you. Something is not being told. 

bruh its straight insanity. a total mind fuck 

[Vajra]

@onacloudynight hey, dropping the split of Masculine*Feminine