List your flaws

[Tyler Robinson]

17 hours ago, KH2 said:

I'm inherently selfish and narcisistic - I only fulfill needs of others if it benefits me - so that I can ultimately fulfill mine

To a certain extent everyone is selfish. But I appreciate your honesty in openly expressing your thoughts. We are guilty of what you are guilty of. 

Have you ever considered that you are selfish because you have a need to survive in a brutal world and it's directly linked to your survival instinct? 

Maybe you're alive today because of your selfishness. 

 

17 hours ago, KH2 said:

I've been and am cruel/cold hearted sometimes - too emotionally detatched

This can impact your relationships.  You don't want your lover to be hurt. Good job you already know it. 

17 hours ago, KH2 said:

Close minded due to my selfish agenda

I lack certain social skills, lack social inteligence

This a common problem. Something that needs a huge amount of time and patience to develop. 

17 hours ago, KH2 said:

I'm way too reclusive/loner sometimes

It could be that you don't trust people easily. 

Being a loner is not really a bad thing. There are great scientists and philosophers who have been loners. 

But being a loner won't help your bread and butter if you are into marketing 

 

17 hours ago, KH2 said:

It's hard for me to accurately and concisely say what I mean in my head

Journal a shit ton. This is a communication problem. You're not used to talking, that is all. 

 

17 hours ago, KH2 said:

Some of these are fixable, some prob not

Most of these are pretty fixable with a sizable amount of effort. 

You need motivation to work on these. 

Keep pushing yourself a little everyday but don't do too much in a day. Just a little everyday will accumulate over time to give you impressive results. 

Don't be impatient for results, that will dampen the motivation. Consistent effort  is your key. 

Goodluck. 

[Tyler Robinson]

19 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

This is my favorite topic!!

1. I can be too direct with people. The way I relate to others is how I relate to myself. So when people think I'm too harsh, no I just went through a lot of tough times and that tough love is what got me through it. I don't allow victimization to run in my mind and hold my self- accountable. I follow the principle that everything is my fault, so I can see clearly my role in something. This alienates people...its a habit I might need to turn off.

Sometimes people need a soft touch and someone to just listen and understand instead of tough love. I understand where you are coming from. But not everyone is like you. 

A mother who is trying to protect her child can also hurt a child, because she doesn't know what the child really wants. 

Try looking at things from other's people's needs and perspectives.  

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2. Too serious, not as playful as I would like to be. I would like to learn to be a little more comedy-oriented.

Omg. Are you a Scorpio or a Sagittarius? They're very critical. Try to chill. 

 

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3. Can become scatter-brained sometimes and forget little things I need to get done because I'm thinking about something more interesting in my opinion.

This is too common. I get this too. 

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4. Haven't been calling my friends as much, as I don't like to call people too much sometimes thinking I might be bothering them which has led them to believe I don't care about them which couldn't be further from the truth. I was raised as a kid with the mantra "kids shut up in the prescience of adults" so I am afraid to bother people or ask for help. So I go out of my way to not be a nuisance.

Haha. You think too much to the point of overthinking. Throw out that extra weight. Lighten up. 

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5. I have a bias in favor of logic, so anything I think it is illogical I lash out against or shake my head in disgust. Something else I need to work on.

Hmm. Some people operate from emotions. Everything is not so hard or black and white. Try not to be so high handed. Give people some space. It's ok to be illogical sometimes. 

 

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6. I have become more emotionally integrate than most men, but I still have a bias in favor of logic over emotion, so sometimes I apply logic to someone in an emotional state KNOWING FULL well its not going to reach them AND I DO IT ANYWAY. So that's my selfishness.

In a way you're trying to control. Maybe you have good intent but you have to meet people where they're at rather than where you are at. 

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7. I am good at picking up signs of low conscious people and I will still deal with them and treat them like any other person. As a result I have been betrayed a lot. Recently I allowed one of those people in my life only to be betrayed again. Its recently hit me harder than I realized. I hold no resentment towards the person (I've been betrayed so many times in life I don't even get angry at people because I know why they do it) but it has made it harder for me to trust that person. A fear arises in me when that person calls or texts and I don't like fear controlling my life so I'm going to work through that.

This is your Vulnerability. Learn to stand up for your own good. Sometimes let go of what the other person wants. You need to be a bit selfish in such situations. 

I see this as a forgiving trait. Too much forgiving can attract predatory people in your life who take advantage of your patience with them. 

Cut that cord. 

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8. I can switch back and forth between the lens of the pragmatist and the lens of a loving martyr. My pursuit of truth allows me to see things as they currently are, and my desire to love others allows me to see things as they could be (ultimately will be eventually). Its eerily weird and surreal. I can size someone up and say yeah that person is probably dishonest and still deal with them anyway. I've learned a lot about life from these interactions. But sometimes I give too much, so I need to learn to be a little more selfish. 

Yea. As I said earlier, you're being a bit sacrificial. Be selfish to those who only take take take from you. Be selfless to those who truly deserve your care 

 

You're not wrong. Your priorities are kinda misplaced that is all 

You need to be wiser and use your empathy for those who deserve your time 

Try to be a bit machiavellian in your decisions. 

Edited August 20, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[spiritual memes]

I spend too much time fantasizing about what my life could be and what I could achieve but don't take enough action to achieve it.

I also care too much about what others think of me.

[Tyler Robinson]

3 minutes ago, spiritual memes said:

I spend too much time fantasizing about what my life could be and what I could achieve but don't take enough action to achieve it.

I also care too much about what others think of me.

A very common pattern in most people. 

 

[Realms of Wonder]

1. Selectively closed minded. Generally open to a lot of things, but can get triggered/instinctively closed off to some people and ideas.
2. Integrity: saying I’ll do something, and not doing it, usually small things, (telling my partner I gotta go, so I can make music, doing it for 5 minutes then watching a movie instead.)
3. Comparing myself to others.
4. Judging of myself and others.

[SamC]

1: Not following through on what I say. I am constantly starting projects but not finishing them. This makes people not trust me and feel unsafe sometimes. It also makes me not trust myself.

2:  Not being as loving to myself and others as I and they deserve, taking things for granted - taking myself and the people I love for granted and therefore not treating them the way they deserve. ( The way I deserve)

3: Being too hard on myself and judging myself. I have a bias for truth and progression and when I see that I am not living up to my full potential, I many times am brutal with myself and others around me. I need to practice baby-stepping it and being there for myself and guiding myself in a direction with more encouragement and less judgment.

4: Not forgiving myself

 

Edited August 20, 2022 by SamC

[Carl-Richard]

8 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

I don't understand how you define this..

 

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coward

noun

a person who is contemptibly lacking in the courage to do or endure dangerous or unpleasant things.
"they had run away—the cowards!"

adjective

1. LITERARY
excessively afraid of danger or pain.

2.HERALDRY
(of an animal) depicted with the tail between the hind legs.

 

I've decided that I want to socialize more, but I just turned down the first week of partying with the new students because of petty reasons like

"I don't want to:

• drink even just a little alcohol
• be around drunk people while basically sober
• break my workout schedule
• be the odd one out who doesn't drink like a lunatic"

 

I also make similar petty excuses for not socializing more with my classmates in general (between classes etc.):

• Suddenly starting to hang out with them two years into the degree would be weird
• COVID was to blame
• I don't need to be hard on myself because I spent those two years on the brink of constant ego death, and neither the desire nor ability to socialize properly was present.
• It's only one year left before I leave town anyway.

 

The only people I talk to regularly in real life is a classmate who has been my roommate for 2 years, as well my other roommates. He signed up to be a godparent(?) for some of the new students, so he is pretty much obligated to party for that first week, which makes me feel even more like a rat when I turned it down to his face.

Other excuses I have is that I forgot that he signed up for that, and that I wasn't expecting the 3rd graders to really party at all, so I didn't have much time to consider it beforehand (because if I were to join the partying, I would've needed to plan it out for some reason).

 

Basically, I want to socialize more, but I don't want to sacrifice anything for it, so I opt for the easiest option. Next year though, I'll travel back to my hometown and start my Masters there, and I'll start fresh with new people and be more social then (I will have less excuses and I'll be prepared to make some sacrifices as well).

[Tyler Robinson]

@Carl-Richard you think too much. Drop that shit. Seriously. 

[Carl-Richard]

2 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Drop that shit. Seriously. 

I just did

[Nilsi]

1 hour ago, Carl-Richard said:

 

 

I've decided that I want to socialize more, but I just turned down the first week of partying with the new students because of petty reasons like

"I don't want to:

• drink even just a little alcohol
• be around drunk people while basically sober
• break my workout schedule
• be the odd one out who doesn't drink like a lunatic"

 

I also make similar petty excuses for not socializing more with my classmates in general (between classes etc.):

• Suddenly starting to hang out with them two years into the degree would be weird
• COVID was to blame
• I don't need to be hard on myself because I spent those two years on the brink of constant ego death, and neither the desire nor ability to socialize properly was present.
• It's only one year left before I leave town anyway.

 

The only people I talk to regularly in real life is a classmate who has been my roommate for 2 years, as well my other roommates. He signed up to be a godparent(?) for some of the new students, so he is pretty much obligated to party for that first week, which makes me feel even more like a rat when I turned it down to his face.

Other excuses I have is that I forgot that he signed up for that, and that I wasn't expecting the 3rd graders to really party at all, so I didn't have much time to consider it beforehand (because if I were to join the partying, I would've needed to plan it out for some reason).

 

Basically, I want to socialize more, but I don't want to sacrifice anything for it, so I opt for the easiest option. Next year though, I'll travel back to my hometown and start my Masters there, and I'll start fresh with new people and be more social then (I will have less excuses and I'll be prepared to make some sacrifices as well).

Man, I totally get you. I used to think pretty similarly to you, and I'm not claiming to have necessarily fixed this in the most conscious way (I drink when others drink to avoid a lot of that discomfort), but bro, you gotta get out there. Staying on a schedule is good shit, but at some point you have to loosen up a bit, or you will never enjoy the fruits of all that work. Don't worry how other people will perceive you. In my experience, people often treat me more like a fucking deity, and not like a weirdo. Be yourself and be willing to show others who you are. You have so much to give (I never say something like this, but you are a real G), and not only will people love you for that, you will also feel great about sharing your gifts with others. I used to be quite the loner, and nothing has improved my quality of life more, than socializing more and putting myself out there. Don't wait till next year, nobody will give a fuck where you have been, as long as you give them a good time. Going out and becoming more social is some of the most serious and rewarding work you can do, if you do it consciously.

[Rainy Sparkle]

18 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

This can be tricky for sure. But don't judge yourself. We need the victim mentality to get things out of our system as long as they are hurting us. First comes venting and then comes healing. 

Once you have successfully dealt with it, then you can move on. 

This is not easy and can take time. 

I hope you find clarity in your situation.. 

Thank you for saying this. It means a lot to me.

[Tyler Robinson]

@Liebestraum okeeee. That's a lot to work on. 

 

[Sukhpaal]

Severe anger issues

Manipulative

Judging 

Gossip

Trying to push other people to grow in a toxic way, ignoring my own journey

many more that don’t come to mind right now

 

 

[Swarnim]

• Unreliable, Untrustworthy, Irresponsible
• Unwilling, Weak Determination
• Manipulative, Narcissistic, Insecure
• Denial, Ignorance
• Honestly, a shitty friend many times. 
• Selfish, Scared of showing compassion to a stranger
• Bad Socially, Too Quite
• Afraid to Genuinely Smile in Public
• Scared of many things
• Blames outside circumstances
• Too Judgmental

etc. etc.

I don't hate myself for any of it, the reason I am able to think up all that is because I know I am working on them. And the reason I am able to do that is because I love myself enough to grow myself. 

[Tyler Robinson]

@Swarnim respect your honesty!

[kag101]

- fearful

- lack of resilience

- socially inexperienced (sometimes)

- inferiority complex

- micromanager

- too individualistic

- overthinker

[ZzzleepingBear]

- Human

[hyruga]

I am too 1uiet and don't speak up enough. I tend to overthink and I become fearful and anxious in social interactions. I need to just step up and be fast, loud and aggressive.

I also procrastinate a lot and don't do the required work which I already know I need to do. I will start doing rhre work.

[Tyler Robinson]

On 8/31/2022 at 7:40 AM, hyruga said:

I am too 1uiet and don't speak up enough. I tend to overthink and I become fearful and anxious in social interactions. I need to just step up and be fast, loud and aggressive.

I also procrastinate a lot and don't do the required work which I already know I need to do. I will start doing rhre work.

Do you have social anxiety? 

Have you been to a doctor? 

 

[Razard86]

On 8/20/2022 at 7:40 AM, Tyler Robinson said:

 

Try to be a bit machiavellian in your decisions. 

This is the only part I disagree with. If I was like this I would never have discovered Spirituality, and Discovered Absolute Truth. 

I have literally witnessed this in my life personally. 

I won't lie to you, without these experiences I would not have LEARNED the truth. I literally LIVED it, MORE than ONCE.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRbV8Pjlsow&ab_channel=TheSchoolofLife

Be the Change You Want To See In The World.

Luke 6: 32 to 36.

32“But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive back, what credit is that to you? For even sinners lend to sinners to receive as much back. 35But love your enemies, do good, and lend, [h]hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. 36Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.

The hardest thing in life to do, is be loving. Life is counter-intuitive. It is easy to be Machiavellian he is called the Father of Politics after all. Love does not care about survival, Love cares about Union. Love sees no distinction, no difference, Love sees itself in all things. In the face of love, evil has no choice but to dissolve, but to embody such love is to be willing to DIE. 

I'm not advocating martyrdom, to each their own, but your ability to embody love is counter opposite to your survival. This is why if you truly see "others" as you, then you no longer consider yourself capable of losing something. The enlightened master...is already dead, you cannot kill what is already dead. Dead= No identity/ all identity. It means no personal agenda, no bias in favor of survival. It means NO FEAR OF DEATH.

See how well you can follow this list. Its the toughest, hardest thing to do, its the proof of your strength/power.

 

Edited September 2, 2022 by Razard86