TimStr

0.8g of mushrooms + 90mg of Ketamine = Breakthrough to Infinity - Trip Report

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I did some psychedelics yesterday. Allthough I originaly wanted to go for a lighter trip I went pretty deep without anticipating it.

Insights into Holism
I have been diving into parts work and IFS lately. And this afternoon, before the trip I did a session and went pretty deep into it without anticipating. Then later during the trip this got amplyfied. After sniffing, I laid down on my bed and the trip started immediatey. (I allways use an agate mortar on my crystalline psychedelics, like MDMA and K, to turn them into the finest powder possible. That way they get absorbed more quickly and completely by my body.) I closed my eyes and checked in with all of the parts of me that were present. All of a sudden the distincion between part and whole was obliterated. I was able to zoom in on a part of something and it became the new whole. And vise versa. There was just this insane fractal of interconnections. Everything is a part of everything else and at the same time the whole is just a part of any other part of the whole. A perfect paradox! And that's when infinity hit me!

Insight into Infinity
I suddely realized that this interconnectedness is what infinity is! Me existing in every single version of (lower case) reality possible. The best words to convey it would be the multiverse analogy. Whenever a descision is taken there is another version of me living in another universe that has taken the opposite descision. For everything that happens there is a branch where the opposite happened. So reality consists of a infinite collection of every possible causalitity and during that trip, I had access to all of it. So I could jump through these parallel universes and exist as every version of myself all at the same time. Every time I made a distintion I swapped into another universe. And this was again sprinkled with these moments of holism realization where I would realize, that even that infinite collection was just a tiny part of a much bigger vastness or where I would see, that a single one of these universes was actually containing every single one.

Insight into Not-Knowing
I got to a point in my trip, where the overwhelm and mindfuck was so enormous, that everything basically just turned into one homogenus mush. All off a sudden everything was perfectly still. It was like a perfect blankness. Yet it was still filled with everything! I had let go of any concept of what anything is whatsoever. Time was abscent and also space. But still there was infinite potential.

Not-Knowing = Infinity
Leo often contrasts those 2 as being two opposite ends of a spectrum. With this trip I realized, that this is not the case! When mind comes to a perfect halt, it suddely is filled with everything! It's like an ocean when the wind subsides and the surface of the water reaches percet stillness. You can suddenly see through it even to the greatest depths but it also becomes the most amazing mirror, reflecting the sun. The intresting thing was, that the deeper I was opening up to not knowing, the more I became conscions of infinity of everything. It was one of these going full circle moments. I lost any track of time and space. But the one thing that made me feel very safe was that there was still the possibility of accessing my body. It was all the way in the background, but if I could leave this vast not-knowing/infinity space whenever i wanted and go back to my body and move.

This made me alsowonder about god realization. I guess during the not-knowing = infinity part of the trip I was kinda close to it but not completely there. I could also see that whatever I imagined came into existence. I could see myself imagining my body back into existence and everything else, I think at some point I even imagined some other entity into existence, very briefly. Imagination was the way I was navigating this not-knowing/infinity space. But it missed this flavour of "Wow, I am this!" and it also was lacking the overall ecstasy that is usually attributed to god realizations, though I don't think that this is nescessairly required.

@Leo Gura Have you given Ketamine another try since your video? For me, its a legit psychedelic all the way up there with LSD, DMT and Mushrooms, but with the one benefit, that its very affirming, gentle and it helps me feel secure while exploring.

Edited by TimStr

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On 14/08/2022 at 11:24 AM, TimStr said:

I did some psychedelics yesterday. Allthough I originaly wanted to go for a lighter trip I went pretty deep without anticipating it.

Insights into Holism
I have been diving into parts work and IFS lately. And this afternoon, before the trip I did a session and went pretty deep into it without anticipating. Then later during the trip this got amplyfied. After sniffing, I laid down on my bed and the trip started immediatey. (I allways use an agate mortar on my crystalline psychedelics, like MDMA and K, to turn them into the finest powder possible. That way they get absorbed more quickly and completely by my body.) I closed my eyes and checked in with all of the parts of me that were present. All of a sudden the distincion between part and whole was obliterated. I was able to zoom in on a part of something and it became the new whole. And vise versa. There was just this insane fractal of interconnections. Everything is a part of everything else and at the same time the whole is just a part of any other part of the whole. A perfect paradox! And that's when infinity hit me!

Insight into Infinity
I suddely realized that this interconnectedness is what infinity is! Me existing in every single version of (lower case) reality possible. The best words to convey it would be the multiverse analogy. Whenever a descision is taken there is another version of me living in another universe that has taken the opposite descision. For everything that happens there is a branch where the opposite happened. So reality consists of a infinite collection of every possible causalitity and during that trip, I had access to all of it. So I could jump through these parallel universes and exist as every version of myself all at the same time. Every time I made a distintion I swapped into another universe. And this was again sprinkled with these moments of holism realization where I would realize, that even that infinite collection was just a tiny part of a much bigger vastness or where I would see, that a single one of these universes was actually containing every single one.

Insight into Not-Knowing
I got to a point in my trip, where the overwhelm and mindfuck was so enormous, that everything basically just turned into one homogenus mush. All off a sudden everything was perfectly still. It was like a perfect blankness. Yet it was still filled with everything! I had let go of any concept of what anything is whatsoever. Time was abscent and also space. But still there was infinite potential.

Not-Knowing = Infinity
Leo often contrasts those 2 as being two opposite ends of a spectrum. With this trip I realized, that this is not the case! When mind comes to a perfect halt, it suddely is filled with everything! It's like an ocean when the wind subsides and the surface of the water reaches percet stillness. You can suddenly see through it even to the greatest depths but it also becomes the most amazing mirror, reflecting the sun. The intresting thing was, that the deeper I was opening up to not knowing, the more I became conscions of infinity of everything. It was one of these going full circle moments. I lost any track of time and space. But the one thing that made me feel very safe was that there was still the possibility of accessing my body. It was all the way in the background, but if I could leave this vast not-knowing/infinity space whenever i wanted and go back to my body and move.

This made me alsowonder about god realization. I guess during the not-knowing = infinity part of the trip I was kinda close to it but not completely there. I could also see that whatever I imagined came into existence. I could see myself imagining my body back into existence and everything else, I think at some point I even imagined some other entity into existence, very briefly. Imagination was the way I was navigating this not-knowing/infinity space. But it missed this flavour of "Wow, I am this!" and it also was lacking the overall ecstasy that is usually attributed to god realizations, though I don't think that this is nescessairly required.

@Leo Gura Have you given Ketamine another try since your video? For me, its a legit psychedelic all the way up there with LSD, DMT and Mushrooms, but with the one benefit, that its very affirming, gentle and it helps me feel secure while exploring.

I have done ketamine 500-1000 times, I did it maybe 80% of the days in the last 12 weeks, upto 2g per day, including also doing mushrooms, at the same time several times

I think I can speak quite in depth about ketamine, I've had pretty much every conceivable experience on it, at least 10x for each variation of experience

You definately don't get the love or connectedness on ketamine, nor do you get any omniscience or omnipotence, which seems to be the major focus of the 5 MEO DMT work, and that can happen also on mushrooms

TBH I wouldn't recommend ketamine to anybody. For me a healthy lifestyle, and shamatha meditaiton are worth 100x ketamine experiences, they don't add any discernible value to anything. And I've literally died several times on ketamine and merged into some abstract fucked up infinite plane thing that feels like your being is stretched across an entire universe and only an atom at the same time, but this experience as I type this is as significant as going on a rollercoast ride at a theme park. Ive also nearly lost my mind on ketamine at least 100x times now, in real scary places, that would only be classed as confronting the darkest schizophrenia that exists

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Ketamine was made to be combined with mushrooms, it is unbelievably good.

The most easy, accessible and surprisingly powerful gateway into pure oneness with zero thought. 
 

If the love/connectedness/infinity/God part is ever lacking, that’s when you simply take another gram 🍄 and sit back down for meditation again. 
 

It’s a pretty safe combination psychologically as well, I doubt you’ll feel the need for 5 Meo after. 

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