When going more with the flow, I learn what touches my heart

[Waken]

Hello,

I used to be more active on the forum, but a time came some years ago that I started to shift away from trying to make things happen and started to relax more into what's actually happening. That led me to become less active on the forum. What I've been learning and having got insight in since that time, are often of topics that touch my heart and because this forum appears to me as coming more from the mind, trying to make it happen, I feel to share this as for my sense there may be/is a lot of struggle and suffering among this audience because of the approach of trying to make it all happen, figuring it all out, even though not everyone may like to admit to that.

When I was trying harder, reading this, reading that, trying this practice, trying that, taking some shrooms here, contemplating some topic over there, I may have said when someone would have asked me 'the stuff your doing/learning/discovering, you feel all that is really valuable?' I may have said that it really was very valuable. That would not have been very honest, maybe a much more honest answer would have been 'If I'm really honest with myself, I'm actually not sure'.

I don't wish to debate some minor technicalities (of what the most accurate language is for describing certain things) of what I'd like to say here, but when thinking about it, I come up with something like this: When you're acting from your mind, trying to make it happen, you're not being yourself. Everything you're then doing is in the end then not really you, and thus not really that relevant for you/your life. When after some point you let go more, being more of yourself, when looking back you see the 'offness' about all the stuff you busied yourself with, and know it's not really relevant for you, that also goes for all the insights you got that seem very deep to you and may really impress some other minds. 

Perhaps you could say that when you let go more, relaxing more into the flow of what's happening, allowing yourself to be what life has caused you to be, the topics in life that come up that bring up resistance in you, are not experienced the same way. The struggle becomes more about you, you feel better what's under the struggles. Instead of seeing certain life events as obstacles to where you want to be, you feel more what it brings up in you. You're more present with what's going on with you, and less with being focused outside. Perhaps also how you respond to life becomes more important. The things (you may learn/have insight in) that feel valuable or dear to you, is when there is a resolve of what you had previous resistance about. You're starting to learn, how to live in a way that is in alignment with what you are.

I know that in my experience, I started seeing life events more as blessings of divine healing. As an example, in a situation I'm partaking in, that may feel to exhaust me after a certain period, I don't longer see the situation as troublesome. In allowing myself to be more what I am, I feel the exhaustion better, and better what was driving me to do the behavior that was exhausting, and learn a valuable lesson. In my experience, a lot of what I've been learning, could be said to be how to be more loving towards myself, or perhaps, how to be more whole.

I had a feeling to share this on the forum and I could write more about it, but my gas for it feels up now so I'll leave it there.

Edited August 5, 2022 by Waken

[axiom]

@Waken Love it. Very true. One of the wisest things I have read here. I admire the selflessness of your returning here to post this.

I would probably refine some of what you’ve said.

For me, it is about dissolving what you think of as yourself and surrendering to what you really are: God expressing itself through your form. 

We either stand in the way of God’s expression - wishing this or that to be different - or we surrender to it. If we experience enough suffering in our lives, then we might eventually come to the conclusion that “being in control” is and always was an illusion.  

It is when we relax into the flow of this awareness that “obstacles” - which seemed insurmountable at first - will fade away, and bliss can ultimately follow. 

Living life for oneself, or in fact thinking oneself to be real at all - is the primary cause of suffering. Being a vehicle for the expression of God’s perfection, and awareness of such, is the perfect freedom.

[Waken]

@axiom Thank you for your kind reply and your contribution. I resonate with text, it's well written and insightful