Max_V

I was finally able to ask a girl out and she agreed!

11 posts in this topic

I made it! got a girls number and am going on a date soon :D The thing is, I'm kinda worried that my social anxiety and inexperience will make things awkard. I know it's kinda inevitable since I am in fact not very experienced with dating and spend my days mostly by myself working on stuff. 

Is it best that I share this with her at some point? what is the best way to be honest but still project my best self?
The thing is, I feel we are not that different and she is a little shy as well, so she might relate, who knows.

Excited about all this.


In the depths of winter,
I finally learned that within me 
there lay an invincible summer.

- Albert Camus

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Congrats bro. I'm happy for you :)

I would say just be yourself and don't be nervous. Treat her like she is already your spouse. With confidence and man-to-woman eye contact .

Eye contact can be a great tool for flirting because it's super intimate and makes a nonverbal statement. Think for a second about how much prolonged eye contact you usually hold with people. It's somewhat rare, right? Holding your date's eye contact for a bit longer than you would a friend's can be a sweet and sexy way to say, "I like you".


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do you realize your anxiety comes from pedestelizing situation and her?

Just food for thought@Someone here treating her like your spouse?! Saying i like you are you serious ??


Who teaches us whats real and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live and what we'll die to defend?Who chain us? And who holds the Key that can set us free? 

It's you.

You have all the weapons you need 

Now fight.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just do your best to stay relaxed and have a good time. As mentioned above try not to put her on a pedastool.

You’re a cool young guy with a bright future. Come from that frame. 

Hang out. Have fun. Hook up. 


The game of survival cannot be won. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How did you meet her if i may ask? Also congrats bro, good job!

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 02/08/2022 at 6:37 PM, Max_V said:

I'm kinda worried that my social anxiety and inexperience will make things awkard.

Don't worry about that, it definitely will ;)

But with experience, dates have awkward moments too!

Don't be afraid of those and freeze up

It's all about how you are able to tolerate and be okay with the awkwardness and move through it.

That's leadership.


Learn to resolve trauma. Together.

Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 8/2/2022 at 10:37 AM, Max_V said:

Is it best that I share this with her at some point?

No.

On 8/2/2022 at 10:37 AM, Max_V said:

what is the best way to be honest but still project my best self?

Do 20% of the talking.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just some general quick advice to help your chances and minimize anxieties.

- Don't have a long date where you're talking for multiple hours. 1-2 hour date max.

- Don't talk about serious stuff.

- Don't be vulnerable or share that you're inexperienced or shy, if she is shy take it as an opportunity to be the leader. It will attract her.

- Do something FUN like bowling, or swimming, or anything you're using your bodies. It will help you both relax and get rid of nerves.

The #1 Rule of advice I have for you is NEVER share your insecurities with a woman until after you've had sex on 3-5 separate occasions. You want to save the pillow talk until she is (somewhat) in love with you. Don't kill the baby in it's crib and spill your issues during the attraction phase.

Women can ONLY tolerate a man sharing their problems after you're already in a committed relationship, never before.


hrhrhtewgfegege

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
59 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

How do you know if she is not some shallow idiot and you won't  just waste your time on her then?

Sorry to surprise you but most women are "shallow" (but not idiots).

You need to screen for the kind of girl you want. You can estimate this with experience just by looking at them, talking to them for a few minutes, or knowing what kind of job they have, or their interests on a tinder profile.

The first date is to create buzz. Don't kill the buzz by being like this guy;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f68VXKMZT1Q

 


hrhrhtewgfegege

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Awesome! all the best. 

Try not to think about the outcome of the date. We tend to psych ourselves out when we focus too much on whether she's going to like us, is the date going to go well etc. Rather, think to yourself, 'Am I going to connect with her, and like HER?'

Take the pressure off by removing all expectations. Just be yourself and as it's been stated before, don't put her on a pedastal. She needs to match you, just as much you to her. 

Just enjoy the experience, you'll do great

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 8/2/2022 at 9:37 AM, Max_V said:

Is it best that I share this with her at some point? what is the best way to be honest but still project my best self?

If the conversation came to that point where it made sense to mention it, then you could. However, on a first date I would not mention something like that. 

The best way to be honest and project your best self is to not come in there with a bunch of strategies or lines you came up with. Just have fun and see where it goes.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now