Someone here

What's the perfect opener?

32 posts in this topic

So far all of my openers suck and make me look cringe-worthy.  Through trial and error, I discovered that Stuff like " I think you are beautiful " should be said in the middle of the conversation not as an opener .it gives you this simp vibe.

what is the best openers to say when you approach a girl?

Let's imagine this scenario  ..you are out and about in a mall or something and you see this cute girl passing by ..what is the first thing to utter to her ? And when exactly should you ask for her number ? In the beginning of your conversation or at the end when you are wrapping up ?

Thanks. 


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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There is none,i think its better to look to put a bid in rather than pick up stuff for you...


Who teaches us whats real and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live and what we'll die to defend?Who chain us? And who holds the Key that can set us free? 

It's you.

You have all the weapons you need 

Now fight.

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@NoSelfSelf thats a good idea ?. 


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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"Hey, I thought I'd meet you."

Ask for her number towards the end. But if it's a very long interaction, over 30 mins, then somewhere in the middle.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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I always say: excuse me, do you mind if I ask you a question? (Always in the street) They usually answer, what question? Then pause, and there you have to improvise, the first thing that comes to mind. from: are you from this city? or: nothing, it was to have the opportunity to see you up close, . Anything. the important thing is that it is something that comes to mind, not forced. to achieve this, get one thing into your mind: the approach is a goal in itself. you will enjoy it. Indeed, seeing that girl close and talking to her for a moment is a pleasure for you. focus on the girl. She is there to give you pleasure. its contemplation is pleasure.  looking in her eyes is pleasure. speak relaxed, looking for your own pleasure, without any other pretense.

What you are looking for is to flow, to enjoy. the more attractive the girl, the better. go to the ones you really like. It does not matter if there are more chances of rejection. there really are less. the girls get the real thing and follow the conversation if it's flowing.if it's forced, they will go out 

Edited by Breakingthewall

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I just start a conversation based on whatever is currently happening. If I like a piece of her clothing for example, i just say something about it, then ask some more questions like name (and give mine as well), what are they doing/going, can I walk/talk with you a while? But I'm not getting the desired results. It comes off as boring openers.  I want something flashy that can catch her attention immediately and get her attracted to me instantly. 

 is it best to have some humor, i realized that making a funny comment or observation is almost always better than a simple compliment. 

 

 


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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29 minutes ago, Someone here said:

I want something flashy that can catch her attention immediately and get her attracted to me instantly. 

Every guy wants this. There is no magical opener that does this for you

Being successful with girls isn't about saying the magical words that make her want to fuck you. It's about your overall vibe and how you authentically come across as a person

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@something_else I've been forcing myself to talk to strangers (not just women)for quite sometime now. strangers all the time in various locations. I think my first problem is using the language of pick-up artists by calling a “conversation” an “opener.” It’s not, it’s a conversation.

Leo told me the  best way to talk to women, is as if they are "normal people"  like anyone else.  Never lead with anything that you see as complimentary or certainly anything sexual .. huge red flag. Does she give signs that she doesn’t want to be talked to? Because most women when I approach them give me the impression that they are not in a good mood and they don't want to be approached.

 


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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You can always turn an indirect/social approach into a direct one by dropping in a simple line like, "Oh my god, I just noticed, you're so adorable."

Like this:

You: "Hey, I thought I'd meet you."

Her: "Oh, Hi. I'm Sarah."

You: "OMG, I just noticed, you're so adorable. I'm Leo."

You can drop such lines anywhere in the conversation to turn it from a social one into a sexually charged one.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You can always turn an indirect/social approach into a direct one by dropping in a simple line like, "Oh my god, I just noticed, you're so adorable."

Like this:

You: "Hey, I thought I'd meet you."

Her: "Oh, Hi. I'm Sarah."

You: "OMG, I just noticed, you're so adorable. I'm Leo."

You can drop such lines anywhere in the conversation to turn it from a social one into a sexually charged one.

Im not going to blabber about how all women are different and each will probably have their own way letting someone in their comfort zone

But Based on this comment..you give me the idea that women will respond quickly to me turning the conversation "from social one to sexually charged one".  However I found the best and safest bet is to choose the topic you are most comfortable with. As simple as that. 

The problem is I try to sound more deep ,masculine and experienced more than I'm really are ..

If i try to talk about something i have no idea about, or fake my interests in whatever direction the conversation is going to be  pretty much screwed. Women can feel it and that will already be a big fat red sign for her.

 

BTW why did you lock the "cogito ergo sum  " topic?  I was having wonderful thought-provoking conversation with @Galyna.:D

but no worries, I need to keep a lid on the mental masturbation :)

 


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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1 hour ago, Someone here said:

I was having wonderful thought-provoking conversation with @Galyna.:D

Start something new….I will jump in. 


"All that we know is limited, something we don't - is infinite"

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@Galyna nah I'm not gonna start a new thread in the spirituality section. I'm out for ideas for now . But you are welcome to jump in ,in this topic .

What do you think is the perfect opener when talking to girls ? I wanna hear it from a female perspective.  What you find attractive and what you find cringey?


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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@Someone here Honestly, I'd recommend you go talk to girls at night instead of during the day. I mean, ideally you do both, but at night you get way more flexibility to just say whatever you feel like and it lets you build up a good sense of what girls respond well to.

The problem with day game is until you get over the mental block, you're always gonna feel like you're doing something creepy or weird ad you can't feel comfortable.

If I remember correctly you live in India which might make that a bit harder, but there's gotta be places you can go out at night with girls in India somewhere, surely.

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23 minutes ago, something_else said:

If I remember correctly you live in India which might make that a bit harder, but there's gotta be places you can go out at night with girls in India somewhere, surely

Yeah man it sucks but I can't make excuses. 

I never had a girlfriend in my entire life and it's not hard for me to get one but I'm an introvert and cringe while talking to people. yep with girls more. it's not I don't like them I like them but most of the time I make them cringe .

 Just few days ago I was at rajouri garden Metro Station(a place in India) and a girl started looking at me. I stared her too but then I thought she likes me and oh snap i approached her .

Here is my conversation with her

Me :I like you

She :oh I'm not interested (think like a Victoria secrets angel) noh u can go please leave and don't waste my time.

Me (my voice was shaking) :okay thanks

My body overheated and I left like I was a plastic body

And here could be a different scenario if I did this in western countries 

Let's assume that too

Me : hey I like you

She : OK I'm sorry but I'm dating someone I'm really sorry.

Me:no it's okay

She : but nice try though I think you can find someone

Me : thanks

There's a big difference in Indian girls and western girls

A big mentality difference

I have  anxiety and depression  and I thought I would be happy if I find some friends or girlfriend.

These days I'm trying to approach guys also ..but not for gay purposes (non-sexual intent ). But just to make some friends. Because I currently have zero friends. And that sucks .if we don't mention the online friends of course like people on this forum etc.  I consider myself a friend of Leo and that makes proud of myself. I'm a friend of god hehe ?


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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@Someone here yes, I will help you. I really need your advice too. My life is about to change, huge change….


"All that we know is limited, something we don't - is infinite"

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1 hour ago, Someone here said:

And here could be a different scenario if I did this in western countries 

Girls in Western countries will give you fucking horrific rejections as well, trust me on that.

Again, especially if you're doing random approaches on the street.

I noticed you totally ignored the actual point of my last post which was that you should go out at night to whatever venues the more liberal girls in India go to at night. You never gave a good reason for why you can't do this.

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@something_else

The reason is pretty simple.in India,  Most of the girls live with their parents up to they get married. If we somehow find a way to talk or mingle with girls, then girls will act like they are not interested…..But they actually are.

Also, men are afraid of the girls family members…

Dating is not a big thing here. We can’t just meet up a girl and ask for a coffee. Of course, these same girls do dating outside of India.

So, It’s pretty hard to be in a relationship with a girl you don’t have access to( I mean you must work together and things like that)

For example, you can have a conversation with a girl in your class, or your neighbor etc. But it’s really hard to start a conversation with a girl you just met outside of your daily routine. People outside of India ask for a date and then they eventually get to a relationship in this kind of times.

Also, If we try to get to know their name etc etc…they will just slap us away because for them that is flirting, sexual harassment, Sexual assault etc etc….

That's why I'm considering moving to a western country for a month or two .


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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2 hours ago, Galyna said:

@Someone here yes, I will help you. I really need your advice too. My life is about to change, huge change….

What help do you need ?


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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4 minutes ago, Someone here said:

@something_else

The reason is pretty simple.in India,  Most of the girls live with their parents up to they get married. If we somehow find a way to talk or mingle with girls, then girls will act like they are not interested…..But they actually are.

Also, men are afraid of the girls family members…

Dating is not a big thing here. We can’t just meet up a girl and ask for a coffee. Of course, these same girls do dating outside of India.

So, It’s pretty hard to be in a relationship with a girl you don’t have access to( I mean you must work together and things like that)

For example, you can have a conversation with a girl in your class, or your neighbor etc. But it’s really hard to start a conversation with a girl you just met outside of your daily routine. People outside of India ask for a date and then they eventually get to a relationship in this kind of times.

Also, If we try to get to know their name etc etc…they will just slap us away because for them that is flirting, sexual harassment, Sexual assault etc etc….

That's why I'm considering moving to a western country for a month or two .

 

Honestly this sounds like a nightmare and you should aim to leave. However while you are there, I've got to imagine there are more liberal girls in India somewhere. While you're there it might be worth trying to find out where it is they are and what they get up to.

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@something_else yeah like I said in my mind there is no other solution but to leave to a western country for a while. 

It's really hard to find sluts (just saying it as it Is) here .


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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