Do you flirt with the idea of suicide from time to time ?

[Yeah Yeah]

@Loba You sound so romantic how you speak of your suicide fantasies

[Loba]

@Yeah Yeah It feels romantic to me, coming home...
Just 15 more years of this shit.  I did the research..., if you have a mental illness then it is treated as something terminal and so it isn't castigated by those on the other side.

An acquaintance of mine - his father recently passed away due to a self inflicted gun shot wound to the head.  He was 85 and his health was starting to fail him and his wife is dying of dementia.  Getting old seems to me to be nothing more than a series of losing everything that you've worked for and love - I'd rather go out in my middle age.
As for the romance, it is because I - possibly delusionally - believe that my true place of belonging is over there, that this life is just a test run, and I have had awakening experiences that have shown me that they're (family; spouse) on the other side, waiting for me to return.

 

Edited August 19, 2022 by Loba

[Blackhawk]

Life is a joke. In a bad way.

Just constant struggle and suffering. Why? What's the reward? There is no reward. There is no reason. It's just meaningless and pointless struggle and suffering.

It's absurd.

To cope with that, people create beliefs and crazy fantasies. Or they take psychedelics and hallucinate stuff and then they believe in what they hallucinated, etc.

I don't think that many people have thought about this stuff. I don't think that many people have realized this stuff.

And I think that people suffer more than they think. For example going to work or school, heart breaks, boredom, illness, going to gym, being on a diet (being hungry), going to dentist, car breaks down, accidents, being involuntarily single, hangover, having a fight, getting robbed/scammed, war, etc.

Just the fact that people seek happiness (everyone does) means that the base mood is suffering. Otherwise people wouldn't seek happiness.

On 2022-08-11 at 2:23 AM, Yeah Yeah said:

@JoeVolcano

I go to sleep with a rope around my neck, and the other end around my ankle, so in the middle of night my ankle will unconciously yank down and hopefully successfully strangle myself in my sleep - What other options are available ? I'm willing to die, and I don't think death is bad, but life can be boring and unbearable

That's unsafe. Instead of dying you could just get brain damage.

Edited August 19, 2022 by Blackhawk

[Blackhawk]

20 minutes ago, KH2 said:

Tell these first world problems to people from Syria or Somalia, they'd love to swap places with you.

See, even more suffering. There's people who suffer even more than me, and I suffer a lot.

Life is so absurd, unpleasant and unnecessary that words cannot describe it.

You are just defending life because you are biologically meant to survive, both you and your specie.

But those who can think rationally and without survival-bias (without animal behavior) knows that it would be better if no one would be alive.

Watch this from 9:09 to 9:55 

 

Edited August 19, 2022 by Blackhawk

[Yeah Yeah]

@Blackhawk excellent response, though another comment quote you received about there being the bad side in irder for there to be happiness I highly disagree - It is like people who say money will not make you happy, but I GUARANTEE being homeless and broke DOES NOT make you any happier than if you were rich, its bs - Same bs applies with needing negatives in order to know hapoiness, because people who say these things first of all HAVE NEVER lived a life of pure happiness without the bad stuff, so what are you talking and teaching about without first hand expeirence, I CALL MASSIVE BS

On 11/08/2022 at 11:59 AM, JoeVolcano said:

With respect, my friend, you can't ask me that.

What I'm talking about isn't to start crossing the street without looking just to tempt fate. What I'm talking about is treating the matter with respect, honesty, responsibility, and self-determination.

If you want to know about suicide, then google it. Read about it. Research it. Take control of it. Own it.

Firstly, what you actually want is not to die, but to end the suffering. Don't make impulsive decisions when you're in a bad place. When you're in that place, know that you have the option, contemplate the option, resign to the option, even look forward to the option, but don't do it yet. Wait until you're level-headed before making any decisions. You will find that you don't actually want to do it, but that you just want a way out. Otherwise you would have done it already, and not in your sleep.

When you open yourself up to the worst of it in those moments, without looking away from it or hiding from it, a part of you dies. That's catharsis. You will know afterward, because you'll feel lighter. If you really want to die, then that's the kind of dying you want.

You may also want to get a framework, by reading Jed McKenna. He talks about Memento Mori in the third book "Spiritual Warfare", but all his books are basically about ego-death in one way or another. And everything in his books is about facing reality honestly and and without flinching. He doesn't sugarcoat things and tell pretty lies. He doesn't tell you to turn away from rational, suicidal depression and pretend that everything is fine, like everyone else does. He points the way through. If you want to stop running, read his books. Start with the first trilogy:

https://www.wisefoolpress.com/e3/

Best wishes

@JoeVolcano idk dude, I doubt reading another self help book will create an ego death which will break the chains of being alive - I genuinely do not look forward to another bs day making zero dollars in this bs world where eventually I will die - Imagine being a farmer when atom bomb dropped, your entire blood line of hard work eliminated - I know you won't give a way a out, nor will the book you recommended, nor will a google search which I've done thousands of times througout the many many years - Instead all there is to do is scroll mindlessly on the internet waiting for the moment I face death, whether a tragedy, self inflicted, a vibrational match to it or old age - I genuinely am incredible bored and zero interest in anything except one thing which is something I won't mention - Other than that I'd go out like Kurt Cobain

[Yeah Yeah]

On 19/08/2022 at 4:04 PM, KH2 said:

Because without pain, you wouldn't even know what happiness is.

If you was happy only, you wouldn't be happy at all. You wouldn't be able to recognize what happiness is after a while. You'd go insane.

A huge part of happiness, is about comparing the pain of the past, with happiness of the now.

Ironically, you probably wouldn't think this way if you just had a gf. Just one little thingy missing from your life, and suddenly everything's painfull.

Tell these first world problems to people from Syria or Somalia, they'd love to swap places with you.

"But those are just different degrees of pain! It's the same thing!" No.

How do you know he is missing a gf? Get out of here dude, what are you even talking about? You are literally wasting our time and your time weaving invisible nareatives that have zero evidenxe what so ever, ledgit are you a NPC who's unable to properly articulate a reasonable response? Are you 12? Jesus, go to a different thread about cheezy pick up lines and how many hoes you can conquer every weekend at a night club with drunk gurls who hand out their smelly genitals to any bloke that gives them a moments notice 

[Yeah Yeah]

@KH2 my room is essentially clean

On 11/08/2022 at 11:59 AM, JoeVolcano said:

With respect, my friend, you can't ask me that.

What I'm talking about isn't to start crossing the street without looking just to tempt fate. What I'm talking about is treating the matter with respect, honesty, responsibility, and self-determination.

If you want to know about suicide, then google it. Read about it. Research it. Take control of it. Own it.

Firstly, what you actually want is not to die, but to end the suffering. Don't make impulsive decisions when you're in a bad place. When you're in that place, know that you have the option, contemplate the option, resign to the option, even look forward to the option, but don't do it yet. Wait until you're level-headed before making any decisions. You will find that you don't actually want to do it, but that you just want a way out. Otherwise you would have done it already, and not in your sleep.

When you open yourself up to the worst of it in those moments, without looking away from it or hiding from it, a part of you dies. That's catharsis. You will know afterward, because you'll feel lighter. If you really want to die, then that's the kind of dying you want.

You may also want to get a framework, by reading Jed McKenna. He talks about Memento Mori in the third book "Spiritual Warfare", but all his books are basically about ego-death in one way or another. And everything in his books is about facing reality honestly and and without flinching. He doesn't sugarcoat things and tell pretty lies. He doesn't tell you to turn away from rational, suicidal depression and pretend that everything is fine, like everyone else does. He points the way through. If you want to stop running, read his books. Start with the first trilogy:

https://www.wisefoolpress.com/e3/

Best wishes

@JoeVolcano idk dude, I doubt reading another self help book will create an ego death which will break the chains of being alive - I genuinely do not look forward to another bs day making zero dollars in this bs world where eventually I will die - Imagine being a farmer when atom bomb dropped, your entire blood line of hard work eliminated - I know you won't give a way a out, nor will the book you recommended, nor will a google search which I've done thousands of times througout the many many years - Instead all there is to do is scroll mindlessly on the internet waiting for the moment I face death, whether a tragedy, self inflicted, a vibrational match to it or old age - I genuinely am incredible bored and zero interest in anything except one thing which is something I won't mention - Other than that I'd go out like Kurt Cobain