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DizIzMikey

Knowledge Graph/practical Advice

3 posts in this topic

So from my understanding, instead of learning anything more that will add to my knowledge graph, I have to destroy it in order to reach a higher state of consciousness?  I so wish I could go in a cave and meditate for 10 years or something to reach a higher state faster...but alas I have a family and obligations. My wife is needy and needs my attention and care, she is so dependent on me...I go upstairs in a room to meditate, but she gives me that sad face like... I don't want to be alone right now, and I can't but help feel guilty because I feel like I'm abandoning here when I go to meditate for about an hour or so. I feel like she is not able to stand on her own two feet and I have to be her superman and try to repair her by making her nutritional shakes, giving her vitamins because without me giving her the vitamins SHE WONT TAKE THEM. Shit even water sometimes I hand it to her for her health and it feels like I'm taking care of three infants sometimes, but I don't know I have like some sort of loyal dog syndrome, of course when I was down and out(which I still kinda am) she was there to take care of me, so regardless I will not abandon her and I will simultaneously take care of my needs and hers as much as I can, however she takes me for granted sometimes, either that or she is so unhappy with her state of being and where she is at in life, that sometimes she tries to take it out on me, but I guess, with such a terminal illness you wouldn't be the happiest person in life. I really want to see her at her prime, and succeed in life, I want her to be happy and alive again.

Of course this isn't the full picture, just a glimpse of how things are...I don't feel like writing a bible so I'll just leave it as is.

Thanks

"Mike"?

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While this sounds harsh, you helping her and being a 'loyal dog' is in a way hurting her. It is reinforcing to her that she doesn't have to take responsibility for her actions and can rely on you to do it all. Its a bit like when you start feeding some wild bird food every morning, eventually the bird will become dependent of you, and if you stop feeding it, it will die, because it has forgotten how to look after itself. This is what you are doing to your wife. If you truly love her, and you definitely do, I think it will make her(not initially but in the end) happier and more fulfilled if you slowly stop carrying her everywhere and let her stand up on her own 2 feet.

 

You are in a dysfunctional relationship atm, she is using you for selfish needs, not intentionally, and you need to break away from it slowly.

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