Blackhawk

Bad trip on LSD

94 posts in this topic

31 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

I thought I was dying, or was already dead, and was kinda "stuck" in floating between different universes in the multiverse. My sense of reality and time was gone.

I just wanted some help. In any way, to get back to reality or something.

I'm glad that I'm back in this solid predictable reality again.

That's a very intense experience for 130µg from what I've read and experienced. I think you might be particularly sensitive to psychedelics. Maybe start with like 40µg and see how that goes, if you ever decide to take them again. 

However, it is a very common thing for people who take psychedelics in high doses to experience. It might just scare you because you read what 130µg is supposed to do, but then you get your mind blown apart because you experiencing what less sensitive people would need to take twice that dosage for.

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25 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

I think it was just delusion.

Sorry that you did have to go through this but don't just dismiss it as delusion. Analyze what happened and try to understand, this is part of the process. 

 

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28 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

Your reaction and resistance to the feelings is the delusion. The raw feeling or experience of dying is not. The raw experience of time disappearing is not. What do you think ego death, no-self, "The Now" is?

 

How would you know whether the experience was delusion or not? I can't see how you could know.

And my trip had other stuff which clearly were delusional.

So I'm pretty sure that my trip didn't show the truth.

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2 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

How would you know whether the experience was delusion or not? I can't see how you could know.

By distinguishing between thought and being. In the thread I linked to, the more I became aware of that distinction, the deeper I went into selflessness and timelessness, which feels exactly like death. This shouldn't be surprising at all: it's ego death! — the "you" that you think you are is literally dying (ceasing to exist).

The phenomenal/experiential/conscious ego is just a habitual activity of thoughts drawing upon a string of memories. Seeing thought for what it is breaks the spell of compulsive thought ("awareness alone is curative"), and no experience of thoughts = no experience of memories (when/what/who) = no experience of time or self.


Intrinsic joy is revealed in the marriage of meaning and being.

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I can't believe how incredibly stupid the trip made me.

It's unbelievable.

I insisted on getting out of the hospital bed even when the police tried to keep me there.

I could have done any kind of crazy stuff.

And now I will pay the price for it. Gonna lose my job, because I will lose my driver's license and I'm a truckdriver. Damn stupid laws, I will lose it even though there is no risk at all that the trip made me a worse driver. So unnecessary.

And a new door costs at least 1900 USD.

Never again psychedelics, never never never never.

Edited by Blackhawk

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On 7/9/2022 at 9:37 PM, Blackhawk said:

Well, I will probably trip in my loneliness tomorrow. Thanks for all the support guys, not.

lol

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My guess would be that there's a very weak spiritual foundation. That's why all the madness went out of control.

I also believe that maybe there's a ton of madness and delusions in your subconcious and it all started to come out and since the foundation of meditation is weak there was no equanimity and ability to just remain aware and still to let it all work itself out and purge your subconcious.

That would be my guess of what happened. Also rather then relying of psychedelics to become happy i'd recommend sober practices like meditation, yoga, etc. It’s 1000x smarter choice then psychedelics imo.

Edited by Salvijus

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@Blackhawk oh man.. But does the police know you took lsd? In Germany  Doctors need to take secret what happend to you. 

And do you feel normal again (besides losing your Job?) 

What psychedelics you took before

Maybe you are Spiritual gifted (even on 300 micro most people dont react so strong) 

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27 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

My guess would be that there's a very weak spiritual foundation. That's why all the madness went out of control.

I also believe that maybe there's a ton of madness and delusions in your subconcious and it all started to come out and since the foundation of meditation is weak there was no equanimity and ability to just remain aware and still to let it all work itself out and purge your subconcious.

That would be my guess of what happened. Also rather then relying of psychedelics to become happy i'd recommend sober practices like meditation, yoga, etc. It’s 1000x smarter choice then psychedelics imo.

You can create any theories you want about what happened and why it happened, but I'm done with this stuff.

Btw I think I also got completely unconscious sometimes because I woke up when the cops were trying to wake me up, by rubbing hard on the chest. It's a method they use to create pain so someone maybe wakes up.

18 minutes ago, OBEler said:

@Blackhawk oh man.. But does the police know you took lsd? In Germany  Doctors need to take secret what happend to you. 

And do you feel normal again (besides losing your Job?) 

What psychedelics you took before

Maybe you are Spiritual gifted (even on 300 micro most people dont react so strong) 

Yes but they don't care about that, I guess because it was classified as a medical emergency. So that's a good law.

Yes I feel normal again.

I took 2C-B-FLY once before I think.

Edited by Blackhawk

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so you wanted to escape reality and then you called the police to help you return to reality. 

you made a mistake to believe your concept of 'truth' as the truth. you are so attached to your concept that you keep trying to justify it. forget 'truth'. psychedelics are about exploring the depths of what you are, not to serve any concept.

happiness is right here right now, it is your senses, your breath.

 

 

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@Blackhawk I know you are a bit in shock, but dont give up psychedelics because of one bad Trip. take little steps. 

2cb is more friendly than lsd. 

Take a break until you feel the call. Start with 2cb again, see how you can handle your fear. and then go next to another psychedelic. And so on until you can work with psychedelics in serious ways

 

You will laught about your first lsd Trip one day if you go on. Right now of course this sucks.. 

 

Medical emergency can be anything(heart attack, you hurt your butt..) . You are ok. No one will take your driver license because of an medical emergency 

 

 

Edited by OBEler

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19 minutes ago, stefm5 said:

so you wanted to escape reality and then you called the police to help you return to reality. 

you made a mistake to believe your concept of 'truth' as the truth. you are so attached to your concept that you keep trying to justify it. forget 'truth'. psychedelics are about exploring the depths of what you are, not to serve any concept.

happiness is right here right now, it is your senses, your breath.

In my opinion psychedelics are just poison. Direct path to delusion and insanity, imo. This opinion comes from my own experience.

18 minutes ago, OBEler said:

@Blackhawk I know you are a bit in shock, but dont give up psychedelics because of one bad Trip. take little steps. 

2cb is more friendly than lsd. 

Take a break until you feel the call. Start with 2cb again, see how you can handle your fear. and then go next to another psychedelic. And so on until you can work with psychedelics in serious ways

 

You will laught about your first lsd Trip one day if you go on. Right now of course this sucks.. 

 

Medical emergency can be anything(heart attack, you hurt your butt..) . You are ok. No one will take your driver license because of an medical emergency 

The trip with 2cb was very bad too.

It's because of you people that all this happened, and now you are trying to convince me to take more psychedelics..

No more.

Things are more clear to me now. I now know better which side I'm on.

Edited by Blackhawk

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@Blackhawk haha, welcome to sober guys team. So far there's only the two of us. But it will prevail ;)

 

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17 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

By distinguishing between thought and being.

You do realise that psychotic symptoms can make it so hallucinations/delusions become indistinguishable from reality right?

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29 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

In my opinion psychedelics are just poison. Direct path to delusion and insanity, imo. This opinion comes from my own experience.

The trip with 2cb was very bad too.

It's because of you people that all this happened, and now you are trying to convince me to take more psychedelics..

No more.

Things are more clear to me now. I now know better which side I'm on.

i see you didn't said a word about the core of what i said. instead you reacted on the word 'psychedelics'. clearly don't ever touch them again. your problem is your belief system. you believe that there is something out there to make you happy, name it as you like. there isn't. every time you will get disappointed. 

don't present your narrow perspective as absolute truth. 

learn to take responsibility for your actions. you create your reality. don't blame others.

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@Blackhawk ok sorry to tell you but you seem immature for your age the more I read your comments. Blaming this forum for your bad experience is one hint for this. Overreacting like losing your Job (police dont know anything about lsd) is another. You will keep your Job for sure, no one loses his Truck driver Job because of a medical emergency. It even not happened at your Job. I am not from your country but still feel you just dramatize

130 micro is a good starter dose. Why you still fucked up must be found in yourself and not in this forum. You just seem too immature for psychedelics 

 

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Guys please stop with your projections, how you react to psychedelics is nothing you can control and some people react way stronger than you guys do so stfu.

@Salvijus

@OBEler @stefm5

Edited by Michael Jackson

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19 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

How would you know whether the experience was delusion or not? I can't see how you could know.

And my trip had other stuff which clearly were delusional.

So I'm pretty sure that my trip didn't show the truth.

Its very simple. Right now you are aware. Anything outside of aware, is delusion. Shapes colors, smells, sensations they are all delusions because they come and go. What never goes? Awareness. You can't even say sleep is a loss of awareness because you are aware you went to sleep, which you can only do if you are still aware. 

Once you realize that you are awareness, then you realize you cannot die, and nothing can actually harm you. Once you realize that....then you can experience any trip and not be bothered by it. But you cannot conceptualize this, you need to KNOW this from the depths of your being.

That is what God Realization is, that your being, your awareness is all that is there. Psychedelics help you reach it by getting you to drop attachments, mainly to your identity such as to the body, sight, hearing, smelling, feeling, none of that is you, its an expression of you, but not you. You are just awareness, the background of all sensations. 

Its that simple. 


You are a selfless LACK OF APPEARANCE, that CONSTRUCTS AN APPEARANCE. But that appearance can disappear and reappear and we call that change, we call it time, we call it space, we call it distance, we call distinctness, we call it other. But notice...this appearance, is a SELF. A SELF IS A CONSTRUCTION!!! 

So if you want to know the TRUTH OF THE CONSTRUCTION. Just deconstruct the construction!!!! No point in playing these mind games!!! No point in creating needless complexity!!! The truth of what you are is a BLANK!!!! A selfless awareness....then that means there is NO OTHER, and everything you have ever perceived was JUST AN APPEARANCE, A MIRAGE, AN ILLUSION, IMAGINARY. 

Everything that appears....appears out of a lack of appearance/void/no-thing, non-sense (can't be sensed because there is nothing to sense). That is what you are, and what arises...is made of that. So nonexistence, arises/creates existence. And thus everything is solved.

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28 minutes ago, Michael Jackson said:

Guys please stop with your projections, how you react to psychedelics is nothing you can control and some people react way stronger than you guys do so stfu.

@Salvijus

@OBEler @stefm5

You are always in control, even when you think you are not. I left out some stuff that happened when I had God realization. What I discovered is any lack of control is an illusion. If you surrender to what is, you will always be in control. Our inability to be in control comes from resistance. 

I'm not saying it is easy to do, because it is divergent from our natural conditioning. But if we look at any situation we have ever had, resistance to what is always lies at the heart the center of it. 

No offense by the way I predicted this would probably happen because to take psychedelics safely you cannot be someone who desires to be in control. Psychedelics main thing is they take you for a trip, of which you have little control but the secret is they actually reveal how reality works if you pay close attention, and I mean REALLY close attention.

Don't get lost in the visuals or the sensations. Pay attention to how your thoughts, beliefs, emotions and resistance influence the trip. It will reveal to you that your "life" works the exact same way. So if you are depressed and your depression lies on control, a psychedelic will scare the shit out of you especially if you are searching for the truth. If you just want to have fun and feel love it will give you that.

A psychedelic is the ultimate mirror, it only gives your reflection. Now with all that said.... I think we need to encourage micro dosing first if people wanna try it. We shouldn't encourage EGO DEATH so much. Because honestly...nothing is scarier than Ultimate Truth for the EGO lol.

 


You are a selfless LACK OF APPEARANCE, that CONSTRUCTS AN APPEARANCE. But that appearance can disappear and reappear and we call that change, we call it time, we call it space, we call it distance, we call distinctness, we call it other. But notice...this appearance, is a SELF. A SELF IS A CONSTRUCTION!!! 

So if you want to know the TRUTH OF THE CONSTRUCTION. Just deconstruct the construction!!!! No point in playing these mind games!!! No point in creating needless complexity!!! The truth of what you are is a BLANK!!!! A selfless awareness....then that means there is NO OTHER, and everything you have ever perceived was JUST AN APPEARANCE, A MIRAGE, AN ILLUSION, IMAGINARY. 

Everything that appears....appears out of a lack of appearance/void/no-thing, non-sense (can't be sensed because there is nothing to sense). That is what you are, and what arises...is made of that. So nonexistence, arises/creates existence. And thus everything is solved.

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3 hours ago, ZenAlex said:

You do realise that psychotic symptoms can make it so hallucinations/delusions become indistinguishable from reality right?

Yes, but which point are you making? He described an experience which I've had hundreds of times while completely sober and perfectly functional. Am I just psychotic? ?


Intrinsic joy is revealed in the marriage of meaning and being.

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