Shamanic breathing Report(s)

[MarkKol]

- This is my 3/4th time doing shamanic breathwork

Today I revisited shamanic breathing for a couple of reasons (I'll get into that later)
Physical effects we're the same: Vibrating skin, contracted eyes and mouth (that's the best I can describe it, It's a physical reaction similar to biting into a lemon, only without the sour taste), after a while my whole body was tingling, this is the order in which it spread: Teeth->Eyes->Cheeks->Upper part of the skull, it also started in the fingers and worked it's way up my arms, later on it started in the toes and worked its up to my balls which felt... weird. But not discouraging. I felt really thirsty and hungry after, even though I ate and hydrated before I did it.
 

What lead me to do it today
I didn't really have a goal going into this one, I've been looking into making psychedelics since Vacation is near (perfect time to do it)
I saw news about a youtuber who I used to watch as a kid, Dead at 23 years old - Cancer. I was perplexed, couldn't believe my eyes... It reminded me of something. We're always so close to death, death is here, death is now. these frail bodies of ours won't last forever. a quote (by Steve Jobs) popped into my mind "You are already naked, there is no reason not to follow your heart". I'm naked, aka I don't have anything. Nothing is mine. Because life is rented to me by the universe. I am a real estate tenant and the universe is my landlord. I have the freedom to do anything I want and exit (die) through the same door when I'm done.

^ That ultimately let me to doing it again
The aftermath
Even though the trigger to doing this again was Death, I didn't think about death while doing it. Every time I did it, shamanic breathing always gave me a confidence boost for a little while. First, my bad memories surfaced up (as they usually do with breathwork) but its always a different topic, this time It was about self-doubt, I realized how I was lowkey doubting myself all the time, I realized that I am unlimited and that I am creativity, it wasn't nonduality but.. It was saying that I can, as an ego. I can be happy, I can be independent, I can run a business, I can live a purposeful life, I can have friends and I can have a girlfriend. the whole thing was centered around healing this doubt within me, saying that I can't have a great life. It made me aware of the stupid pressure my family was putting on me, If you want to have a great life you will need to work on everything, right now I am career focused and I'm leaving all the relationship stuff for later, that is my choice. I'm now aware that I (as well as everyone else) will have to put significant time into these important areas, and one way to do that Is to focus on one at a time. My friends choose to Party first and then (hopefully) work on their careers, that's their choice. they choose Immature relationships to build up experience first. and that's fine.

 

My last "trip" was a lot more emotional, It centered around abuse. I actually cried during that "trip". an ongoing pattern here is that my mind always picks a topic for me and then brings up memories related to that topic. And that's shamanic breathing for you