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BeHereNow

The Log

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01/07/22

Tried selling my Xbox series S to pawn shops and CeX but no one would take it for a decent price, so I donated it to a charity store. It probably isn't everyday the old man volunteer sees a youngster willingly give their games console to a cancer research, to be fair it isn't everyday I see an old man working anywhere. I think he was from the ww2 generation or something, he looked really old. Any who, I'm glad to be rid of such time and money wasting machines.

I also bought a pair of running shoes today. I made good use of them, I ran about 2-3 miles I think. I charged up a hill and down another. I didn't push myself too hard, I gave myself a bunch of walking breaks but if I seen a lamppost in the distance that was my goal to run towards it. It was a very rewarding experience, a lot of energy and a lot aches and pain, but it was worth it. I bumped into my grandparents on the way, they were on the way home from the pub. I was too out of breath to really remember what was said but I said "it's not about losing weight, it's about keeping fit" and my grandfather said something on the lines of "the truth shall set you free". He's always been a very quotey man like that, but what was more surprising was my grandmother saying I love you when we departed, she's always been quite distant and detached. She must have been quite happy to me see getting off my ass and not smoking weed for once I guess.

Just at my sisters at the moment taking a breather, got my baby niece crawling all over me bless her. After that gonna run my ass home and retire for the night.

So far, it's been a good day.

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02/07/22

Went another run early this morning. It was hard work, I was drenched in my own sweat and my legs killed when I was done but it felt good paradoxically, knowing I did it for a second time. Perhaps listening to Vaush commentating on that January 6th commission thingy took my mind of most of the effort.

When I went out for shopping, some jesus freaks with microphones were preaching about how the government is putting something in vaccines to control us, saying they knew the Truth, blah blah blah, Jesus will save us all. Yeah right. They were sharing the "good news" right outside Greggs and when I went in, I asked the lady working there how she could cope with all that nose and commotion all day. She just laughed it off, I guess she had more patience than I would have. The one thing that gives me hope about the UK compared to the US is that we don't really do God in the traditional sense (like going to church or pretending to be Christian at all) and preachers in general are just seen as weird and annoying. If the government starts shoving the Bible down our throats, I don't think it'd fly at all. 

I also had to endure phonecall after phonecall of relatives going into boring diatribes about drama or sports. I don't know how many times I can say "mhmm" or "wow that's crazy" before they figure out I don't give a shit. Eh, if it makes them happy chatting waffle to me for 20 minutes, who am I to judge?

Really feeling the absence of video games since either destroying or donating them. I feel like I'm just twiddling my thumbs, struggling to find something to do. It's gonna take a while before I can adjust without them.

Just an hour ago I almost fell to temptation and I nearly ordered a draw of weed. Thankfully no one was around to sell anything but my mind drifted towards cigarettes and alcohol. Nearly fell in their traps too but I thought, why waste the effort of running this early in for poison? What was the point of doing in the first place? I just looked at the cash in my hand and realized, when you start trying to live more consciously and spend wisely, money honestly becomes worthless most of the time. I took a sigh of acquiesce and soldiered on home.

Honestly, a mixed bag of a day.

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