Cykaaaa

LSD Trip Insights -- I am God. This is absolute joy.

35 posts in this topic

*This is a repost of a post I made yesterday (lost because of the forum crash). Good thing I copy all my longer posts before publishing them lol*

Two days ago I took ~320ug of LSD and literally the greatest fucking joy ensued. I became conscious of myself as God. I have never laughed as much and probably never been so happy in my life. 

  • I am God. I am EVERYTHING. ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHIIIIIIIIING.
  • God-realization is absolute fucking happiness. The funniest thing ever. The greatest joke. Radiant fucking joy + denial in laughter. You won't believe how stupid you've been all this time. You won't believe how this is possible. You won't believe how personal it is. All this time you've been God but you thought you were some human. This is literally so funny you will roll on the ground from laughter when you realize it HAHAHAHAH.
  • This is FREEDOM. ABSOLUTE JOY. This is so fucking beautiful, I was denying it kinda playfully like "NOOOO IT CAN'T BE HAHAHAHAHA. I DON'T BELIEVE IT. NOOOOO!" but it was so apparent it could not be challenged in any way. HAPPINESS. Finally being awake and seeing your Infinitude.... man. Really, you don't know joy until you recognize Yourself as God. Btw, this is "death" and it's amazing.
  • Being EVERYTHING as God is so BIG you are not going to believe it. I was conscious that I am everything around me. I was conscious that I am humanity. I was conscious I am the entire cosmos. I was conscious I am Jesus. I was conscious I am EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Literally all other is Me. We are all One. Ahh, the Oneness touched me very deeply. I couldn't believe how Everything is One, we are ALL ONE. I felt at Union with everything.
  • The point is to recognize Myself in everything. Seeing Myself in all. I enjoyed it a lot hahah.
  • I will be contemplating "What am I?" FOREVER. This Infinite Source that I am is exactly that -- INFINITE. I am going to explore this question LITERALLY FOR ALL TIME. THERE IS NO END TO IT. This isn't a question you can ever answer fully because again, this Source can generate infinite insight. Endless joy and discovery of Myself in God. I am starting to make the distinction between "normal questions" vs "Infinite questions". Some questions have satisfactory answers (eg. what are my strengths? why do I like X?) and some are bottomless wells (What am I? Who am I? What is Reality? etc.)
  • I am going to expand FOREVER as God. Life of God is ETERNAL exploration of the Infinite Source. The nature of God is such a fucking mystery, it is really MAGIC. How is it possible that I as God am expanding into Myself?! How can you not ABSOLUTELY LOVE this?! Your "life" is Life of God! because YOU ARE GOD. Uncontainable expansion in Myself. I call this insight God is Seeking (Itself). God wants to BE MORE of Itself.
  • I am defining what being God means. My "personal" growth is expansion of God. This is so great because now I can feel TRULY responsible for my life. This is sooo personal. I am God, now how do I want to express Myself? How do I want to expand? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS. It gives my life new joy and meaning. 
  • Things I've said (and repeated often) during the experience:
    • How could I have forgotten this?!
    • HOW CAN I NOT REMEMBER IT LATER
    • THIS IS FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE
    • I DON'T BELIEVE IT
    • NO, IT CAN'T BE, NOOOOO
    • I CAN'T BE EVERYTHING!
    • Is there something other than me? Is THIS other than me?!
    • IF THERE IS SOMETHING OTHER THAN ME, I MUST FIND IT
    • OMG, I AM ALONE
    • WHO DO I SHARE IT WITH
    • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
  • Reality is a mirror. Just like (most) animals don't recognize themselves in the mirror, you don't recognize yourself (as God) in your personal experience. So I suggest you stop judging these animals for being stupid and first see your own stupidity ;)
  • Maturing is approaching Godhood. Maturity is taking care of less mature beings.
  • I have to be responsible for everything - because I AM everything. It's funny, but I think a subtle clue was shown to me - I was "suggested" I develop as a leader in this lifetime. I feel like God wants to expand in responsibility and leadership in me. I certainly didn't think of this "myself" because, well, my leadership skills are lacking I think and it's kinda scary to me when I think about how I would have to grow. BUT THAT'S EXACTLY THE POINT - doing what I fear, this is growth. I want to expand as God, even if it's scary!! I don't know how exactly I will go about this but hey I am gonna figure it out. 
  • One of the most important questions you can ask yourself: How do I express Myself? This questions presumes that you know yourself and God and asks you: What do you want to do with your Godhood? Tangentially, I discovered the value of the question Who am I? In my view, the Who am I question is like going infinitely inwards, asking how SPECIFICALLY you want to express Yourself as God. Like choosing a point on an infinite plane and drilling it again and again. The What am I question, however, is concerned with understanding the whole plane :)
  • Simple recipe for a good life:
    • Express Yourself --> Who am I? How do I express Myself?
    • Contemplate Yourself --> What am I? What is Reality? etc.
  • Embrace foolishness. Loosen up. When you realize how you've been under illusion all this time, when you realize how STUPID you are while facing God - you will start to accept yourself as a FOOL. Of course it's important to value Wisdom, but don't think for a second that you're "wise" in some objective sense. You are a fucking idiot, no matter how "developed" you are. And that's okay! Just like children are always children in the eyes of parents, so are we complete fools in the eye of God. So rejoice in stupidity my friends but strive to at least see a thin beam of the Glory of the Source - it will make you a tiny bit less stupid ;)

I won't go into much detail about the logistics of the trip but let me tell you it was weird. For the first time I did LSD in the evening rather than in the morning (I had no other option). But it was fine (besides the fact that I didn't sleep a minute at night).

I made 30 min of video footage - basically me laughing maniacally, walking around the flat talking, looking for something other than me and such. I rewatched these videos so many times already, I laughed every time I did hahahah.

Nearing the end I kinda stopped contemplating and just passionately danced and sang my heart out. God having fun xD It was something very intimate for me. I loved it, really basked in the joy of being God.

If anything, this experience made me humbler. Seriously, I can't wrap my head around the fact that I will contemplate myself FOREVER. I have sooooo much to discover hahahah. Also I sense that the insights I've had so far, despite already being profound can go infinitely more deeper. Like the "all other is Me" insight - even though I realized this, I still for example said to myself "Everyone must learn this truth". Yeah, as if there is someone other than me hahahah. I know my awakening is still weak sauce, but it's fucking okay. I AM GOD HAHAHA. I can't wait to know myself more. And best of all - I have all the time in the world.

Anyways, that's all. Discover this shit for yourself, seriously.


You don't have to like everyone. You just have to love them.

This account is no longer active. New account is @Sincerity

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Nice trip report! Welcome to God Realization.


The same strength, the same level of desire it takes to change your life, is the same strength, the same level of desire it takes to end your life. Notice you are headed towards one or the other. - Razard86

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Good work!


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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@Cykaaaa Excellent report! Really enjoyed reading your insights. Thank you for sharing it! 

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Thanks guysssss ^_^


You don't have to like everyone. You just have to love them.

This account is no longer active. New account is @Sincerity

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@Cykaaaa Good Job.

Next time question "What is Love?" just that. It could help you to understand "What is reality" ;)

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2 hours ago, inFlow said:

@Cykaaaa Good Job.

Next time question "What is Love?" just that.

Hehe, that's what my next main "target" is ;)


You don't have to like everyone. You just have to love them.

This account is no longer active. New account is @Sincerity

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I really enjoy reading your trip reports. Thanks for taking the time to type them down!

Honestly, I still don't really understand what you mean by contemplating or exploring yourself forever as God. Mind going a little deeper into this?

Also, what kind of time does God go through if you know? Its gonna explore itself forever in a linear fashion? So for example if he's human(s) now, that means before or after he was someone or something else, or am I going utterly wrong with this line of thought? Lol.

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11 hours ago, michaelcycle00 said:

I really enjoy reading your trip reports. Thanks for taking the time to type them down!

Thank you ^_^ I'm very pleased to hear that.

11 hours ago, michaelcycle00 said:

Honestly, I still don't really understand what you mean by contemplating or exploring yourself forever as God. Mind going a little deeper into this?

I wrote down in my notebook "I will be contemplating What Am I FOREVER" and immediately realized there are 3 interpretations of this insight/statement and each of them is true.

  1. The question "What Am I?" is literally infinite and you will never have a satisfying answer (unless you're easily satisfied ;)).
  2. I will be exploring myself as God FOREVER --> I am Eternal. And since I am going to live forever, I will experience Myself as God forever, thus explore Myself forever.
  3. I will be expanding as God forever, because every moment is Me learning about Myself, learning what it means to be God :) My life (Life of God) is Experience and it's eternal Exploration, never-ending learning.

I recognize that these points are quite similar overlapping but I'm trying to emphasize different points in each of them.

The first point emphasizes that I am ungraspable. The second one highlights I am Eternal. The third one focuses on my eternal Exploration of what it means to be Me. 

Hope that I've cleared this up a bit.

Btw, It's very interesting and funny to me how in this work you are getting insights on the same "thing" from different angles. Last time I realized that death doesn't exist. I understood that I am Eternal, but it was kinda in the background. In the foreground there was this direct recognition that death is a thought and it's literally just something imaginary. This time the insight that I am Eternal was in the foreground, I thought of the word "death" like only once. My Eternality (and obviously Godhood) was MUCH more apparent.

11 hours ago, michaelcycle00 said:

Also, what kind of time does God go through if you know? Its gonna explore itself forever in a linear fashion? So for example if he's human(s) now, that means before or after he was someone or something else, or am I going utterly wrong with this line of thought? Lol.

I don't know. God is above time, logic and linearity. Time doesn't really exist per se, but you as God learn about yourself and it "stays with you" (Wisdom). Nevertheless, I don't know in what fashion I am going to explore myself.

This is basically asking what happens after "physical death" and I don't know the answer. I don't know what would happen if I shot myself in the head right now. Would I bask in Infinite Singularity for eternity? Would I dream up another dream? Is this a choice of mine as God and depends entirely on my will? This last one seems plausible, but I don't know that. If anyone can shed some light on this it's @Leo Gura. I'm curious whether one can actually become conscious of this.


You don't have to like everyone. You just have to love them.

This account is no longer active. New account is @Sincerity

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10 hours ago, Cykaaaa said:

Hope that I've cleared this up a bit.

Yes, you have. Thank you! So like, it'll never run out of new things to experience in the linear sense, correct? Or, are possible experiences finite since they are also finite in nature? So for example, will I or will I not experience "michaelcycle00's" life an infinite amount of times?

 

10 hours ago, Cykaaaa said:

This is basically asking what happens after "physical death" and I don't know the answer. I don't know what would happen if I shot myself in the head right now. Would I bask in Infinite Singularity for eternity? Would I dream up another dream? Is this a choice of mine as God and depends entirely on my will?

Ah, I see. Seems like no matter how far (or deep) you go with Psychedelic doses, "Consciousness" or "God" never reveals the hardcore insights such as "why did I choose this life?", "are multiple experiences concurrent?", "is my finite experience currently the Absolute or did I split myself into an infinity of Gods?", "what will happen after death? and then after that?", etc. I'm guessing the answer to these would destroy the dream so they are held back and not even you in temporal God form can crack them.

 

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20 hours ago, Cykaaaa said:

This is basically asking what happens after "physical death" and I don't know the answer. I don't know what would happen if I shot myself in the head right now.

Awaken deeper and you will realize that physical death is imaginary. It cannot happen so long as you are awake enough. If you start dreaming again it will seem possible for you.

There is nothing outside your present. And your presence is Eternal. 

Keep going deeper. You haven't hit full God-realization yet ;)


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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10 hours ago, michaelcycle00 said:

Yes, you have. Thank you! So like, it'll never run out of new things to experience in the linear sense, correct? Or, are possible experiences finite since they are also finite in nature? So for example, will I or will I not experience "michaelcycle00's" life an infinite amount of times?

 

Ah, I see. Seems like no matter how far (or deep) you go with Psychedelic doses, "Consciousness" or "God" never reveals the hardcore insights such as "why did I choose this life?", "are multiple experiences concurrent?", "is my finite experience currently the Absolute or did I split myself into an infinity of Gods?", "what will happen after death? and then after that?", etc. I'm guessing the answer to these would destroy the dream so they are held back and not even you in temporal God form can crack them.

 

Second part precisely

Notice @Leo Gura doesnt even confront any of these directly, cos he doesnt know either, just seems odd why he cant just say it though, seems like he doesnt like accepting when he doesnt know something

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10 hours ago, michaelcycle00 said:

Ah, I see. Seems like no matter how far (or deep) you go with Psychedelic doses, "Consciousness" or "God" never reveals the hardcore insights such as "why did I choose this life?", "are multiple experiences concurrent?", "is my finite experience currently the Absolute or did I split myself into an infinity of Gods?", "what will happen after death? and then after that?", etc. I'm guessing the answer to these would destroy the dream so they are held back and not even you in temporal God form can crack them.

 

Thats because these questions will just dissolve into Love when you realise what you are. Nothing can "destroy" the dream. You will wake up and then you will keep dreaming and then there really is no difference between the two.


"We all must be, and can only be, a light unto ourselves."

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6 minutes ago, bambi said:

Notice @Leo Gura doesnt even confront any of these directly, cos he doesnt know either, just seems odd why he cant just say it though, seems like he doesnt like accepting when he doesnt know something

Thats because the absolute is not "knowable." To "know" something you have to be outside of it. I can know 2+2=4 because I can model it in my mind. I can not model myself, I can only be myself.


"We all must be, and can only be, a light unto ourselves."

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10 hours ago, michaelcycle00 said:

Ah, I see. Seems like no matter how far (or deep) you go with Psychedelic doses, "Consciousness" or "God" never reveals the hardcore insights such as "why did I choose this life?", "are multiple experiences concurrent?", "is my finite experience currently the Absolute or did I split myself into an infinity of Gods?", "what will happen after death? and then after that?", etc. I'm guessing the answer to these would destroy the dream so they are held back and not even you in temporal God form can crack them.

Lol

Those are not hardcore insights. Those questions will all melt away when you fully realize yourself as God.

Everything will be answered and no more questions will remain. If questions remain about past or future lives, you aren't awake enough.

You are underestimating the depth of God-realization. God is the answer to everything.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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35 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Lol

Those are not hardcore insights. Those questions will all melt away when you fully realize yourself as God.

Everything will be answered and no more questions will remain. If questions remain about past or future lives, you aren't awake enough.

You are underestimating the depth of God-realization. God is the answer to everything.

But I had God-realizations, and none of them answer the question of why this specific life out of an infinite possible lives. And how long have I been dreaming for? How many lifes have been dreamed?

None of these come close to being actually answered, not even by you, you can't answer these questions directly, you just defer and deflect them

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33 minutes ago, bambi said:

But I had God-realizations, and none of them answer the question of why this specific life out of an infinite possible lives. And how long have I been dreaming for? How many lifes have been dreamed?

None of these come close to being actually answered, not even by you, you can't answer these questions directly, you just defer and deflect them

There are many degrees of God-realization. You gotta go deeper.

You can't answer how long you've been dreaming because time is a dream. How long you've been dreaming is a dream.

How many lives have you dreamed? Just this moment right now. Lives aren't really a thing. You are imagining past and future lives.

I have no problem answering your questions. But you don't appreciate that your questions are asking about imaginary things. You're like a child asking how many miles has Santa flown around the world?

THERE IS NOTHING OUTSIDE THE PRESENT MOMENT.

Stop taking anything in the past or the future seriously. Your birth never happened. It's imaginary. And so are all your past God-realizations. They are imaginary too!


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

There are many degrees of God-realization. You gotta go deeper.

You can't answer how long you've been dreaming because time is a dream. How long you've been dreaming is a dream.

How many lives have you dreamed? Just this moment right now. Lives aren't really a thing. You are imagining past and future lives.

I have no problem answering your questions. But you don't appreciate that your questions are asking about imaginary things. You're like a child asking how many miles has Santa flown around the world?

THERE IS NOTHING OUTSIDE THE PRESENT MOMENT.

Stop taking anything in the past or the future seriously. Your birth never happened. It's imaginary. And so are all your past God-realizations. They are imaginary too!

Okay no problem. So why this present moment? Why this precise moment out of an infinite possible other moments it isnt

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5 hours ago, Nilsi said:

Thats because the absolute is not "knowable." To "know" something you have to be outside of it. I can know 2+2=4 because I can model it in my mind. I can not model myself, I can only be myself.

No this precisely wrong, to know something is to become it, not be outside of it, this is incorrect

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