Someone here

Fake masculinity will not get you laid

26 posts in this topic

A common mistake guys do when they are trying to approach girls is they want to act macho and masculine. Overly masculine to the point they are not being themselves. They are acting .and girls are very sensitive to that .they can sense your inauthenticety. 

You don't magically become a man with bigger arms, a bigger truck, a bigger salary, a bigger house, or a bigger penis.

These are fronts

When you tie your masculinity to external stuff, you're living and breathing from a position of neediness.

You're saying: "Here, look at how big my stuff is. Do you approve of me yet? Do you like me yet? Am I man enough yet?”

Instead, let go.

Let go of caring about her approval of your conversation topics, of your apartment, of the size of your bank account. Let go of caring about her approval of your job title, your resume, or your car.

When you let go, you become vulnerable. And when you make yourself vulnerable, you display confidence ,true confidence.

You're saying: "I don't need your approval, because I love myself just the way I am."

When you live like this, you will become more masculine.

And you’ll also become a helluva lot more attractive to women.

Edited by Someone here

"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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Guess I better stop walking around with that water bottle down my trousers then…

What if it is just that women today like feminised men who are weak and vulnerable? In my experience masculinity is about striving and not accepting oneself just as one is.

35 minutes ago, Someone here said:

You're saying: "I don't need your approval, because I love myself just the way I am."

When you live like this, you will become more masculine.

And you’ll also become a helluva lot more attractive to women.

Only if you have already cultivated depth and purpose through the insufficiency and striving of masculinity, otherwise you are just a self-satisfied clown.

I think this fake masculinity comes from the superficiality of modern life. Society today does not reward virility and nobility and women use the judgment of society to judge men. Men are therefore forced to prove their masculine nature with the woman herself. However, most women are not interested in manly things like the ruthless pursuit of truth, self-sacrifice and honour, hierarchy and discrimination so they recoil from the men who force them upon her and choose the fun feminine man. They would, however, be interested in the fruits these things would provide in a healthy and functional society.


He who bathes in the light of Oeaohoo will never be deceived by the veil of Mâyâ. 

Helena Blavatsky, The Secret Doctrine

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5 hours ago, Oeaohoo said:

Guess I better stop walking around with that water bottle down my trousers then…

What if it is just that women today like feminised men who are weak and vulnerable? In my experience masculinity is about striving and not accepting oneself just as one is.

Only if you have already cultivated depth and purpose through the insufficiency and striving of masculinity, otherwise you are just a self-satisfied clown.

I think this fake masculinity comes from the superficiality of modern life. Society today does not reward virility and nobility and women use the judgment of society to judge men. Men are therefore forced to prove their masculine nature with the woman herself. However, most women are not interested in manly things like the ruthless pursuit of truth, self-sacrifice and honour, hierarchy and discrimination so they recoil from the men who force them upon her and choose the fun feminine man. They would, however, be interested in the fruits these things would provide in a healthy and functional society.

If you just act masculine it doesn’t mean that you are more masculine.
If your goal is to be a masculine man impersonator just imitate what other dudes do.
Now if you want to be more masculine:

look inside and deal with you insecurities (you may discover that your need to act more masculine is not as important anymore)

hang out with manly men, their way to talk and act will turn into second nature to you if you become one of them

do manly shit, masculine men do manly shit, again, find a set of peers, do stuff together and you will become real masculine not just act masculine


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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5 hours ago, Federico del pueblo said:

@Someone here did you get laid?

Not yet .but I'm very close .there is this chick in uni that I have crush on..

Edited by Someone here

"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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7 hours ago, Someone here said:

A common mistake guys do when they are trying to approach girls is they want to act macho and masculine. Overly masculine to the point they are not being themselves. They are acting .and girls are very sensitive to that .they can sense your inauthenticety. 

You don't magically become a man with bigger arms, a bigger truck, a bigger salary, a bigger house, or a bigger penis.

These are fronts

When you tie your masculinity to external stuff, you're living and breathing from a position of neediness.

You're saying: "Here, look at how big my stuff is. Do you approve of me yet? Do you like me yet? Am I man enough yet?”

Instead, let go.

Let go of caring about her approval of your conversation topics, of your apartment, of the size of your bank account. Let go of caring about her approval of your job title, your resume, or your car.

When you let go, you become vulnerable. And when you make yourself vulnerable, you display confidence ,true confidence.

You're saying: "I don't need your approval, because I love myself just the way I am."

When you live like this, you will become more masculine.

And you’ll also become a helluva lot more attractive to women.

Good stuff, thanks for sharing!

 

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Be yourself is the ultimate daiting strategy. The only problem is that it's very hard to get there which is quite comical. You need to learn how to stand up to who you are and be there for you, before you can be there for someone else


"Sometimes when it's dark - we have to be the light in our own tunnel"

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In theory this is true, but in practice you need to develop some of those traditional 'try hard' masculine attributes. They will get girls attracted to you.

Then you can learn why that approach is limited and become more authentic. But it's hard to go from a guy who lacks in masculinity to a guy who has transcended the inauthentic masculine traits without first actually developing some of them first.

Being authentic is actually really difficult to do without first pushing your comfort zone. And pushing your comfort zone often involves trying out lots of things that aren't necessarily authentic to you

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13 hours ago, Someone here said:

A common mistake guys do when they are trying to approach girls is they want to act macho and masculine. Overly masculine to the point they are not being themselves. They are acting .and girls are very sensitive to that .they can sense your inauthenticety. 

You don't magically become a man with bigger arms, a bigger truck, a bigger salary, a bigger house, or a bigger penis.

These are fronts

When you tie your masculinity to external stuff, you're living and breathing from a position of neediness.

You're saying: "Here, look at how big my stuff is. Do you approve of me yet? Do you like me yet? Am I man enough yet?”

Instead, let go.

Let go of caring about her approval of your conversation topics, of your apartment, of the size of your bank account. Let go of caring about her approval of your job title, your resume, or your car.

When you let go, you become vulnerable. And when you make yourself vulnerable, you display confidence ,true confidence.

You're saying: "I don't need your approval, because I love myself just the way I am."

When you live like this, you will become more masculine.

And you’ll also become a helluva lot more attractive to women.

I'm glad you know the secret. The irony is...what you are talking about is integrating the feminine. The feminine tames the Masculine's need for control. Also The feminine within you is how you interact with the feminine outside you. The reason you won't need a woman's approval, is because the feminine within you approves of you. Everything you said is true, but what it reveals is you need to complete the Inner marriage, before you can have a true outer marriage.

I love this post! Keep dropping wisdom bombs!!! Do it as much as the U.S. bombs the world.


The same strength, the same level of desire it takes to change your life, is the same strength, the same level of desire it takes to end your life. Notice you are headed towards one or the other. - Razard86

Your ACTIONS REVEAL how you REALLY FEEL. Want TRUTH? Observe and ADMIT, do the OPPOSITE of what you usually do which is observe and DENY. - Razard86

Think about it.....Leo gave the best definition of the truth I ever heard...."The truth is what is..." so if that is the truth.... YOUR ACTIONS IN THE PRESENT ARE THE TRUTH!! It's what's happening....do you like what you see? Can you accept it? You are just a SENTIENT MIRROR, OBSERVING ITS REFLECTION..... can you accept what appears? -Razard86

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36 minutes ago, something_else said:

In theory this is true, but in practice you need to develop some of those traditional 'try hard' masculine attributes. They will get girls attracted to you.

Then you can learn why that approach is limited and become more authentic. But it's hard to go from a guy who lacks in masculinity to a guy who has transcended the inauthentic masculine traits without first actually developing some of them first.

Being authentic is actually really difficult to do without first pushing your comfort zone. And pushing your comfort zone often involves trying out lots of things that aren't necessarily authentic to you

This is also true!!! Its my greatest weakness!! I keep trying to tell people what they shouldn't do, and not being okay with allowing them to fail!! Its so true!! Some things people need to experience to appreciate the wisdom of your advice. It hurts when it is someone you care about....but they got to go through some of the things you went through at their own pace and own time. I love your post man!!!


The same strength, the same level of desire it takes to change your life, is the same strength, the same level of desire it takes to end your life. Notice you are headed towards one or the other. - Razard86

Your ACTIONS REVEAL how you REALLY FEEL. Want TRUTH? Observe and ADMIT, do the OPPOSITE of what you usually do which is observe and DENY. - Razard86

Think about it.....Leo gave the best definition of the truth I ever heard...."The truth is what is..." so if that is the truth.... YOUR ACTIONS IN THE PRESENT ARE THE TRUTH!! It's what's happening....do you like what you see? Can you accept it? You are just a SENTIENT MIRROR, OBSERVING ITS REFLECTION..... can you accept what appears? -Razard86

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2 hours ago, SamC said:

Be yourself is the ultimate daiting strategy. The only problem is that it's very hard to get there which is quite comical. You need to learn how to stand up to who you are and be there for you, before you can be there for someone else

All true!!! Every word in this post is true!! Even the comical aspect!!! We are all so funny!!! That is why comedy exists!! We need to allow ourselves to laugh at our silliness!!! Thanks for this post!!! I love you all!!


The same strength, the same level of desire it takes to change your life, is the same strength, the same level of desire it takes to end your life. Notice you are headed towards one or the other. - Razard86

Your ACTIONS REVEAL how you REALLY FEEL. Want TRUTH? Observe and ADMIT, do the OPPOSITE of what you usually do which is observe and DENY. - Razard86

Think about it.....Leo gave the best definition of the truth I ever heard...."The truth is what is..." so if that is the truth.... YOUR ACTIONS IN THE PRESENT ARE THE TRUTH!! It's what's happening....do you like what you see? Can you accept it? You are just a SENTIENT MIRROR, OBSERVING ITS REFLECTION..... can you accept what appears? -Razard86

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I’m actually rather feminine, works like a charm.  Just be yourself, have confidence and you’ll be fine.

Edited by Spiral

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You are still manipulating while trying to be masculine for a woman she can see that wont work, whole paradigm is bad from the start...


Who teaches us whats real and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live and what we'll die to defend?Who chain us? And who holds the Key that can set us free? 

It's you.

You have all the weapons you need 

Now fight.

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agree, men who love themselves (not too much), are very attractive 

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True. Also, even if you attract someone using this strategy, good luck trying to maintain the fake masculine front. 

In the end we want to be liked and loved for who we are. If you use a fake persona to attract someone, you will never experience that. 

Trying to act masculine is just another symptom of insecurity. 

Of course, develop your confidence, learn to love yourself, process and let go of past hurt that made you believe you are not good enough so your authentic self can be expressed. But don't try to imitate "masculine" traits. 

Edited by Farnaby

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On 17/06/2022 at 6:11 AM, Someone here said:

Not yet .but I'm very close .there is this chick in uni that I have crush on..

Am I to understand that you've never had sex, yet you're here proactively spewing advice?

I hope that's a joke xD

Thank you for entertaining me.


Learn to resolve trauma. Together.

Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

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34 minutes ago, flowboy said:

Am I to understand that you've never had sex, yet you're here proactively spewing advice?

I had a blowjob from a hooker in Thailand few weeks ago .but that's about it .I'm back to India now where women are not easily sexually open.

I talk to at least one new girl every day .that's a challenge I have set for myself. So I know what works and what doesn't in attracting girls. Especially in the first date/approach. 


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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1 hour ago, Someone here said:

I had a blowjob from a hooker in Thailand few weeks ago .but that's about it

Teach me Sensei.

1 hour ago, Someone here said:

So I know what works and what doesn't in attracting girls

xDxDxDxDxD stop, you are making me laugh too hard.

 


Learn to resolve trauma. Together.

Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

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@flowboy bro you are just trolling at this point. 

Go do something productive with your time. 


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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