Constructive feedback about what Leo said in his Video about LOVE

[Jan Trautwein]

Hey everyone, I'm Jan,

this is my first time posting in this forum.
I actually don't spend a lot of time here, but I think it would be good to change that and connect more with people who are into Leo's work.

I want to share is some constructive feedback for Leo. And I would love to hear if what I say makes sense to you or if I'm overlooking something!

(I'm open to that possibility but I also acknowledge that Leo is (still) an unperfect human and that I might see something that he doesn't see.

 

I'm talking about his video "How To Practice Love - What Does It Mean To Love?", but I heard him share similar beliefs in other videos as well.

Around minute 1:26h he says "You can heal this stuff, but it's gonna take a lot of work to heal."

I think this is not a good thing to say because he is stating that healing always is a lot of work (and therefore it also sounds like it takes long) but that might not be universally true. 

There are examples of spontaneous awakenings and very swift healings. (e.g. Eckhard Tolle, Byron Katie,...) 

 

So telling the world it will be a lot of work is reducing the chance that their consciousness is able to change quickly. We all know the power of the mind and how we create self-fulfilling prophecies.

Similarly, around 1:29h he says "relationships are hard".

 

Yes, often healing takes a lot of work, and yes, often relationships are hard. But there is no universal law that says that it always has to be that way. So therefore I think it makes sense to adjust his wording a bit. Maybe he could say "often healing takes a lot of work".

I get that it's helpful to teach others to expect resistance, ego-backlash etc. but making those statements less absolute would be good, wouldn't it?

What do you think about that observation & suggestion?

Leo in case you read that, of course I would love to hear your thoughts!


Much love,
Jan


PS: I think Leo's work is incredible! I have immense gratitude for his existence and that I get to learn so much from him. 

PPS: If you want to reach out to share you thoughts with me directly, feel free to contact me on IG @jan_trautwein. 

[Leo Gura]

Part of my brand and style is to underscore the difficulty of this work. Because most people way underestimate it and because culture and marketers try to sell you on quick easy fixes. I deliberately do the opposite. Does it always have to be difficult? No. But I don't want you to count on that. If it turns out to be easier than I said then you'll be in for a nice surprise.

[Preety_India]

Bro. Healing is difficult. Much much difficult. 

I'm a trauma victim and I fully agree with Leo because it applies to trauma victims like me. 

Leo understands people better than people understand themselves. 

 

 

[Jan Trautwein]

That makes sense. There is definitely a lot of "quick easy fix" stuff out there and it can lead to people giving up way too soon because they have distorted expectations.

At the same time I think the point that I made is valid and adding an "often" or "most of the time" would still have the effect you want to create.

In any way, I really appreciate you responding so quickly and I wish you a beautiful day full of love! 

[Jan Trautwein]

@Preety_India

Byron Katie also had anger issues. Did you read her book "Loving what is"?


She would ask you:

"Healing is difficult"
- is that true?
- can you absolutely know that it's true?
- how do you react, who are you being when you believe that thought?
- who would you be without it?


Sorry if this response is inappropriate, I am aware that you didn't ask for any input.

Much love to you!
 

[Preety_India]

@Jan Trautwein if you say much love to me,

Maybe try emphasizing with my difficulties 

Healing is tough. 

Saying that healing is easy is raising the bar where I can't reach it even if I jumped as high as possible 

You're causing a blatant disservice to people like me. 

You see that? 

 

[VioletFlame]

@Preety_India You are dead on, love. I too am a trauma victim and it is not easy to pick up the scattered pieces of a mess someone else left in your life. 

I have done years of spiritual and personal development work; therapy, 1-3 hrs of meditation per day, 2+ hrs of yoga per day. This all has done wonders for me in regards to my overall mental health and personal well-being. 

I am now studying and working towards my life purpose/career path: Music Therapy. I noticed that having a life purpose to lean on really helps to ground you and anchor you as well. I consider myself fortunate in that regard. 

You seem sweet and kind. So much love to you. ❤️

Edited June 16, 2022 by VioletFlame

[Preety_India]

@VioletFlame so much love back to ya. Thank you so much for your healing words. 

 

[Dear Fiona]

56 minutes ago, Jan Trautwein said:

Hey everyone, I'm Jan,

this is my first time posting in this forum.
I actually don't spend a lot of time here, but I think it would be good to change that and connect more with people who are into Leo's work.

I want to share is some constructive feedback for Leo. And I would love to hear if what I say makes sense to you or if I'm overlooking something!

(I'm open to that possibility but I also acknowledge that Leo is (still) an unperfect human and that I might see something that he doesn't see.

 

I'm talking about his video "How To Practice Love - What Does It Mean To Love?", but I heard him share similar beliefs in other videos as well.

Around minute 1:26h he says "You can heal this stuff, but it's gonna take a lot of work to heal."

I think this is not a good thing to say because he is stating that healing always is a lot of work (and therefore it also sounds like it takes long) but that might not be universally true. 

There are examples of spontaneous awakenings and very swift healings. (e.g. Eckhard Tolle, Byron Katie,...) 

 

So telling the world it will be a lot of work is reducing the chance that their consciousness is able to change quickly. We all know the power of the mind and how we create self-fulfilling prophecies.

Similarly, around 1:29h he says "relationships are hard".

 

Yes, often healing takes a lot of work, and yes, often relationships are hard. But there is no universal law that says that it always has to be that way. So therefore I think it makes sense to adjust his wording a bit. Maybe he could say "often healing takes a lot of work".

I get that it's helpful to teach others to expect resistance, ego-backlash etc. but making those statements less absolute would be good, wouldn't it?

What do you think about that observation & suggestion?

Leo in case you read that, of course I would love to hear your thoughts!


Much love,
Jan


PS: I think Leo's work is incredible! I have immense gratitude for his existence and that I get to learn so much from him. 

PPS: If you want to reach out to share you thoughts with me directly, feel free to contact me on IG @jan_trautwein. 

I'd say here, that this is a heady, conceptual, post, with not a lot of context.  

It might have more relevance to a forum where people are genuinely attempting to heal, and Leo is genuinely trying to facilitate that, with his generous offering of this forum, if your post came with any relevant direct experience you've had. 

Have you spontaneously woke up ? 
Have you had the swift healings you are pointing to ?
How successful are your personal relationships ? Friends, family, work, romantic etc. ? 

[VioletFlame]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

@VioletFlame so much love back to ya. Thank you so much for your healing words. 

 

@Preety_India You are very welcome. xx

[Razard86]

1 hour ago, Jan Trautwein said:

That makes sense. There is definitely a lot of "quick easy fix" stuff out there and it can lead to people giving up way too soon because they have distorted expectations.

At the same time I think the point that I made is valid and adding an "often" or "most of the time" would still have the effect you want to create.

In any way, I really appreciate you responding so quickly and I wish you a beautiful day full of love! 

You don't know Eckhart Tolle, you have no idea how much healing he had to go through. You need to study human psychology. Your mind can trick you into thinking you are healed and with the right trigger that trauma can come out.

Also there are some theories about why some people heal faster that goes beyond conventional wisdom. It goes into the whole past lives theories etc. So they would only be the exception based on those theories because they completed in their past lives. 

Most trauma happens in early development when your ability to cope and manage stress is underdeveloped. That memory is then stored from that vantage point, the vantage point of the age it happened to you. It is not some simple process to just undue that, and even worse that trauma like I mentioned before can be HIDDEN from you and you aren't even aware it exists.

So Leo isn't wrong, healing takes time. Its why they say time heals all wounds, it does. Besides....you never even defined what long and short in regards to healing speed is in your perspective. You can't make a claim or an assertion without explaining the terms of what you are asserting. Otherwise its just some vague notion you threw out there.

Anyway welcome to the forums!!!

[puporing]

Intention matters a lot in determining how "hard" it will be. If one has a strong intent on transcending trauma and ego one can do it in a relatively short period. And for that one has to value what lies on the other side, like having a "vision". Being exposed to role models can help reinforce the vision.

It can still be hard if the trauma is deep and not able to find support in the healing, thankfully with the internet nowadays it has become easier to find such support and resources if one seeks to heal. 

Edited June 16, 2022 by puporing

[Elton]

@Jan Trautwein hi Jan welcome to the forum...

I liked to see your point of view.

Hope to see many more posts from you.

This is a personal development community where we help each other grow and share resources as well as our personal development difficulties and also act as a support system for those who need it.

:-) 

 

[Asayake]

I think you have a point in that if you believe something will be difficult it might become more difficult than it actually is.

For example, a kid who learns a tricky piano piece by ear might learn it quicker compared to an adult who knows it as a 'tricky piece'. Because the kid doesn't know which piece is difficult and which is not. When the adult starts struggling with the piece it will confirm the thought "this is difficult" as true. This is a negative thought and will feed into negative emotions and result in a lot of negative emotion. Increasing the suffering endured during the time it takes to learn the piece. When you really get into the flow state of work you don't believe work is difficult, that thought is not present when you're really into doing something.

Maybe there is a point of learning to cope with that negative emotion but it's unnecessary for learning that particular piece. Likewise I think believing healing will be difficult will make it more likely to be so. It will make it harder for you and the more it is confirmed by your experience, the firmer you will hold that belief and use it unconsciously to focus on the negative aspects of what you're doing.

That might build a stronger person though rather than someone who goes through life believing it is easy and then one day gets struck by some true hardship and haven't dealt with much difficulty yet in life, so that person will be less prepared to hande that once it happens.

But I still think you have a good point, if you want to heal, believing it is difficult will make it more likely to be so.

Edited June 16, 2022 by Asayake

[Thought Art]

So far I have discovered there are no quick or easy fixes in life 99% of time

[Razard86]

38 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

So far I have discovered there are no quick or easy fixes in life 99% of time

THIS!!! A solution may be the simple but the implementation is often a process.

[Matthew85]

@Jan Trautwein Hello Jan, welcome to the forum.

I feel you raise a valid point in your post. We all have blind spots. This is why an exterior viewpoint can be beneficial to us. The language people use is very revealing in pointing out limiting beliefs we may hold, that often we are not even consciously aware of. Leo is evolving and expanding as all of us are. 

[Leo Gura]

14 hours ago, Jan Trautwein said:

@Preety_India

Byron Katie also had anger issues. Did you read her book "Loving what is"?

She would ask you:

"Healing is difficult"
- is that true?
- can you absolutely know that it's true?

Healing is difficult is not some absolute statement. It's a relative, pragmatic statement. You don't turn it into some ideology, it's just a recognition that some things are harder than others.

Climbing Mt Everest is hard. It's useful to know that before attempting to climb it, so you have the right expectations.

When I say something is hard or takes a long time I'm not making some absolute claim or a limiting belief, it's more of a motivation tactic.

When I say things like that, think of it like this:

 

[puporing]

If it's not "difficult" we would have way more peeps at a similar level as someone like Matt Kahn is at for one, but we don't .