How to pursue Enlightenment with a weak ego?

[EmJay]

Hello, I'm kinda depressed, just graduated collage don't know what to do with my life, limbo phase. Specially in these times I'm more interested to do self-development work. I've been here for a while so I know about and I'm interested in enlightenment, non-duality and all. 

I consider myself as having a weak ego, a people pleaser, low self-esteem etc. 

My problem is that I tend to jump to "high-level" "enlightenment" concepts to develop myself as I love them more and they feel more valuable, and I'm worried that I'm going in the wrong direction as I've heard somewhere that "I need to build a strong ego before dissolving it".

Am I going in the wrong direction? if so, how to know whats "right" for me in my stage of development?

what is building a strong ego even means? and how to do that?

 

Thank you in advance.

[Breakingthewall]

I would say that you have to build a strong ego because then you have to deconstruct it, and to do that you are going to have to overcome one obstacle after another. your ego moves with the inertia of the collective ego, forged in thousands of generations. it is very easy to get carried away by that current, so you need an ego capable of following its own path and believing in itself to start deconstruction

[Batman]

Building a strong ego is complete bullshit in my opinion, that is just the other side of having "low confidence". "High confidence" people are just ego's who are convinced in the worth of the act they put in front of others, while "low confidence" people live in constant doubt of their character and sense they are lacking any worthiness.

What you really looking for is to be authentic, just who you are and what you feel. Don't hide, don't lie, don't manipulate. When you are fully integrated there is no sense of being unworthy or more worthy than others, you simply are. You won't live with the constant sensation that someone is looking at you, judging you and looking to hurt you. And you won't need to put a fraudulent act of being overly masculine or vocal so you will dominate others with this fake front. You can also read about shadow work or practices to deal with all the stuff you are repressing. You can also consider psychotherapy. 

[Kalki Avatar]

Best option is to either have a strong ego or no ego at all. 

Build a strong ego before enligthenment. A weak ego is going to mess you up. When you are ready for enligthenment, be aware you are playing with fire by deconstructing your ego, which means you might end up with a weak ego if you dont reach enligthenment and will have to build it up again. 

The down side of having a weak ego is others can outframe you. But ofc, making your ego weaker means you are gaining access to truth by opening up which is a good sign in the path. 

Edited June 15, 2022 by Kalki Avatar

[caspex]

Strong ego = Authentic to oneself

Weak ego = Lies, to others, but most importantly to itself

 

Build a strong ego first. There's no contemplation if you constantly lie to yourself.

[NoSelfSelf]

I was going in opposite direction..deconstructing weak ego then making it stronger and the more work i did the more it leaded to awareness...building strong ego is valuing yourself,loving yourself,living authenticly,living your own truth,becoming your number one priority in your head etc...

[Weltesche]

Your ego doesn't matter for enlightning. You don'´t really need it for this. And you don't have to change anything. The only thing you have to do is to listen, to observe. And i do not mean you have to listen inside of you. You can listen and obseve everywhere. Just find out, what you prefer. You can observe your inner self, the world around you, you can listen, read, you can even observe social media if it's you thing. Just observe and you will learn anything about yourself you need for enlightenment. No pressure. Trust in the process. You don't really want to run through it. Enjoy the way.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Weltesche i dont get how it doesnt matter ? ego is responsible for your level of conciousness and in what reality you are living in..i heard it in many places that it doesnt matter...ego must be caught and his power removed before you could see that its an illusion...in my experience if you observe in lower level of conciousness you could see the truth but it wont matter ?

In the end it doesnt matter but its too advanced to say just observe imo..

[Weltesche]

You are right. You need an ego. What i mean is, that it doesn't matter what kind of ego you have. It is more about learning about your personal ego. 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Weltesche it does matter what ego you have, having healthy ego(more concious and truthful) oppose to unhealthy(lies,self deceptions,fears) makes it easier for you to observe and see what ego and existence is...

[Weltesche]

Just one question. Do you think you can change your ego?

[NoSelfSelf]

@Weltesche ego can be changed but theres no you to change it program of ego changes with experiences and level of conciousness its really messy process because it fights againts changed...

[Weltesche]

Ok. If you spend all your time fighting against your ego, will this change your ego? And what would help to get into higher levels of conciousness?

[NoSelfSelf]

@Weltesche pls quote me and others in replys so i see it...you could go that route but you will go through real hell to change thats why not many do it..getting into higher states makes your suffering less and less and withouth suffering its easier to change your disfunctional ways of beings...

[Chrisd]

2 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Weltesche it does matter what ego you have, having healthy ego(more concious and truthful) oppose to unhealthy(lies,self deceptions,fears) makes it easier for you to observe and see what ego and existence is...

interesting

[NoSelfSelf]

@Chrisd Nobodys talking about it they assume others have same conciousness level to see what they see but their ego will determen how much and how things will be shown to them..

[Chrisd]

Here's an idea, build an enlightenment ego.

A strong ego is simply confident. 

So you can be confident in your enlightenment search.

I know what I want (enlightenment), am not afraid about it and strive confidently for it. 

[Weltesche]

@NoSelfSelf

So why are we discussing about the ego? 

The question was about what is right for @EmJay . 

There is no wrong way. Don't fight against your ego. Don't fight. Just do what feels right for you. If you really want to fight, then fight. If it feels good, if you enjoy it. This is your way. No one can tell you what to do, because no one can know your way. It is just about you. 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Weltesche because you are asking me about it and ego is important part of getting enlightened only thing that blocks the vision of awareness is ego attachment...

[Chrisd]

2 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Chrisd Nobodys talking about it they assume others have same conciousness level to see what they see but their ego will determen how much and how things will be shown to them..

thanks, will reflect and think on this tomorrow