Texting girls

[Jacobsrw]

On 22/5/2022 at 6:35 PM, Majed said:

Is there something wrong with my texting or are they just not interested?

i’ve put down photos of my texting where girls ghosted me 

yi hi= oh hi 

eza ederet akid= if i can of course 

Overall you haven’t seemed to say anything extremely problematic, however, I’d suggest a few tweaks.

Firstly, I’d recommend giving more freedom in your offers intially. Women usually like to have freedom in their choices and don’t like to feel pressured in early stages of getting to know someone. Rather than saying “want to go on a date” straight off the cuff, say “I’d love to see you again sometime soon” and give her time to respond and express her interest to you. Only be direct after you’ve received that level interest in return.

Secondly, give her the freedom to find a suitable time by saying something like “what’s your schedule like this week or next?”. That way she can feel as if you aren’t hunting her down but are considerate of her lifestyle/demands. You can then offer a time and place to meet (key word “offer”).  Say something along these lines after she has first expressed equal interest in meeting again - you shouldn’t be meeting someone who doesn’t express interest in you equally. I noticed you have a direct formality in your messaging. Being direct is good but early on can be a massive turn off. It can sub-communicate neediness, domineering behaviour or just a lack of flexibility in your persona.

Women are dynamic and find comfort when you can be too. Us men can be rigid robots and this is a massive turn off. Don't get overly stuck on following 1, 2, 3 step formulas, find a way to be relaxed and easy going. Neither should you get overly fixated on locking women into dates as if you are compiling a list. Be natural, fluid and detached. This is far more attractive, especially early on. 

Edited May 24, 2022 by Jacobsrw

[something_else]

1 hour ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

Does any of you know, what kind of opener makes girls actually respond to you back on Tinder - or on any dating app, for that matter?

There isn't really a secret to this. At least, I haven't found anything reliable in like 2 years of Tinder

So I usually just go for fairly low effort stuff. If she's interested, then pretty much anything will work. If she's not, then there isn't really anything you can say to make her reply

Maybe 10% of my matches go more than two or three messages back and forth, if you want a point of reference. From what I gather that sounds about right for Tinder

[Jacobsrw]

1 hour ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

Sounds good to me tbh. Maybe you haven't build enough interest during your dates with them.

Hey, speaking of texting. Does any of you know, what kind of opener makes girls actually respond to you back on Tinder - or on any dating app, for that matter? I don't really have a problem getting matches, I have a problem with girls basically not giving a fuck.

And before you hit me with "you should rather be approaching bro" I have and I will. I'll be using every single possible avenue of getting laid, including hookers even. The problem is, as I've mentioned, low investment of girls on Tinder. It seems to me that they are just swiping on people for fun, they are not really taking it seriously. The problem is clearly not my looks - although if I added better photos of me, and tweaked my profile a bit more, I'd be getting a lot more matches for sure - since I'm clearly getting swiped right on. Most people would say something like " don't just say boring shit like "hi", say something funny, entertain her" well, that's exactly what I shouldn't do though? since that already shifts the entire power dynamic against me. "Hey, here's a bag of tricks/canned lines I'll say for this specific occasion, so that you can hopefully like me!"

Ironically, I end up saying "hi?" anyway?? But honestly, I have a feeling they would ignore me no matter what. Because that's texting 101. You can afford to ignore and ghost someone comfortably, even block him/her. Unless...? Do you guys know of any method, that would catch her attention, but wouldn't be cheesy and tryhard? My assumption is, that if the girl really wants it, she'd respond to "hi", or any other message. So Tinder is good for catching girls with high innitial interest for your looks, I guess. Or maybe I'm wrong, idk honestly.

Tinder is a horrible app in recent years in my experience. All my recent success has come from Hinge and Bumble. Far superior apps. Tinder has become a hyper-sexualised commodity through which validation is currency (e.g. bathing suit photos and only fans). Hinge and Bumble seem to be mediums through which people are genuinely interested to have conversations. Their design lend them self to better conversations just purely through their prompt options and layout. 

Good openers can be things like:

• Tell me something I ought to know about you..
• Tell me the one quality you value in a person?
• What is it that makes you interesting? Or what is it that makes you, You?
• What’s the first thing you would do if it was your last day on earth?
• What does your ideal first date look like?
• I sense there is far more to you then eye catching beauty, tell me am I right?

Insert their name before the message too this personalises it. E.g. “Sarah, tell something….”. These are some I made up and have yielded good responses. Never send “hey, how are you?”. This is overly generic. Be different unpredictable, mysterious and curious but also respectful. Remember, women are dynamic and free flowing, your engagements must follow this trend.

 

 

 

Edited May 24, 2022 by Jacobsrw

[Jacobsrw]

16 minutes ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

Hinge is not really availible in my country, and yeah, I'm getting matches on Bumble too, but basically the same problem of women not giving a fuck? Never innitiating the convo, and letting the 24 hour period pass. Idk, maybe I should get better photos, or better describtion or something.

Alright, I'll try some of these out in the future. But I don't have a lot of hope anymore - most of my results will come from actually speaking to women in real life, I reckon.

What country are you in? That could play a factor. Most people I match with on bumble message, very few don’t. So you could be right you may need to optimise your profile. Are you smiling and showing your teeth in your photos, women are quite attracted to this. Do your photos have variety (selfie, group photo, indoors, outdoors, different activities etc.). There needs to be layers to your profile for people to be interested in getting to know you. Make your bio and prompts interesting too, write them in ways that encapsulate your unique personality not the algorithm (use words and phrases you actually would). Be different than the norm.

Ideally, in person is best but not fully realistic in our day and age unfortunately. Finding events and meets to go can be helpful too and you should be trying to do this. But unless you want to chat up girls in broad day light in public or in a night club with the drunken and disoriented, dating apps are the option. I don’t have any interest in chatting up drunk people or going to night clubs to do so. I prefer in real life at events or on dating apps. Dating apps have been surprisingly effective for me in recent months. Met some great people. But need to find what works for your personality and situation.

Edited May 24, 2022 by Jacobsrw

[something_else]

38 minutes ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

But yeah, I just find it weird that women swipe right on guys, and then won't talk to them. Why don't they just uninstall the app, when they're barely using it? Sounds strange to me

Well she also swiped right on a bunch of other dudes and if she likes one of them more and he’s giving her attention she won’t reply to your messages

Thinking about this too much is not healthy for your self esteem which is why I think that beyond optimising your profile pics you should take as low effort as possible approach to dating apps. I have notifications for them disabled on my phone and I check them maybe three times a day max unless I’m messaging a girl

There are guys who kill on dating apps, and there are guys who get nowhere. For these dudes, dating apps are simple. Dudes like you and I who are somewhere in the middle are actually in the danger zone of being sucked into spending way too much time (and money) on dating apps, because they tease the fuck out of you

Dudes in the middle might also be subject to some sketchy shit by dating apps as well, because they’re the only people that are ever going to pay. For example, there is a decent amount of anecdotal evidence that paying for a boost on Tinder will work, but then once it ends you find that you get far less matches than you used to previously until you boost again

 

[kray]

22 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

The fundamental difference between rejection for guys and girls is the fact that guys go through a lot more of it due to the fact that they are usually pursuers.

Also i have noticed girls usually get rejected from the top guys while guys get rejected by ALL girls.

The average girl has 10x more power in the dating market than the average guy, if a guy is not a top guy he is kinda fucked and begging for scraps.

Wrong way to think. Work on yourself, and make it all about you, that’s what matters. That’s what most healthy top guys do. They aren’t thinking nor pursuing sex all the time, they have a greater purpose and work towards that. My point is that you don’t find many “top guys” sitting around eating potato chips and playing video games all day, instead they are probably in the gym pumping it out or doing other things to work on themselves.

[something_else]

5 minutes ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

Yeah, definitely won't spend too much money and time on the app. I just bought Tinder plus, and that's it. Not spending any more money

I’ve bought 6 months of Tinder plus a couple times, and one month of Platinum. I paid like £25 for 6 months of plus about a year ago, and about £20 for a month of plat about 4 months ago

I took a break from tinder for a while but now I’m back, just took a look at their pricing just now and they now wanna charge me £60 for 6 months of Tinder plus?? And £40 for one month of platinum!!!

Thats actually insane. They’ve been shown to discriminate based on age for subscription costs, but I’m 22. So either they’ve straight jacked their prices up by like 2x or they’re up to some sketchy shit with returning paid customers

[something_else]

5 minutes ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

I've started using Tinder again just recently tbh, and I haven't even heard about the platinum function untill now. Looks cool at first glance tbh - being able to send a message together with superlike. Not gonna be effective for 10s and 9s, cause they get superliked all the time, but maybe for lower tier women such as 6s, 7s or so, might be effective. Idk. Probably not gonna invest into that, unless I'll have money to throw away. Which currently I don't, my budget is reserved for important things.

Nah the message is useless. Superlikes are also quite likely useless. The only thing worth paying for on Tinder is exposure. A big factor to not getting matches is that you don’t even show up on that many girls’ card stack to begin with

Platinum means that you’re far more likely to show up on a girls’ stack of cards after you like her, since it ‘prioritises’ your likes, almost like a super like but without the neediness

I was happy throwing £25 into that experiment, and it did help me quite a bit. Probably double or tripled the number of matches I got for about 2 weeks, then it died down. No idea why, could be that I burnt through the girls in my area or could be more sketchy shit. Remember that once you’re a paying customer, it isn’t in tinder’s best interest for you to find a long term partner

This time around on tinder I’m not paying, especially those exorbitant prices

[StarStruck]

On 22-5-2022 at 2:20 PM, Leo Gura said:

1) The way you're asking for the date is not optimal.

First of all, never call it a "date".

Next, you should build a bit of connection before you ask her out. Not too much connection, but something a bit clever and funny is nice. Get her used to responding to you and interested in you.

Next, you should make the request as low-compliance as possible. "Let's grab a coffee sometime this week." Don't mention a specific date/time. Wait til she responds before specifying that.

Next, it is crucial that you discuss and seed the coffee date when you are getting her phone number in-person. You must tell her that you two will get a coffee together later that week and ask her what her schedule is like, when she's busy and when she's free. Get her to agree in-person. This increase your date rate a lot. All the work is done in-person, not via text.

2) Even if you ask for the date optimally, many girls will just ignore (which means decline). Don't take is personally. Most girls will decline.

Girls usually flake few hours before the date... I keep radio silence until the day of the date, usually because I'm nervous and don't want to make any blunders. Today another girl flaked just few hours before the date.. do you think I should change my approach? Am I not fluff texting enough or something? It is so annoying

[Tortured Soul]

I got bored from the first message. Another thing, I usually ask when they have time or ask if they wanna see now