Awakening to God's Nature on weed

[Cykaaaa]

Hey all. Yesterday I smoked some weed at night and I had another profound awakening. I kinda didn't expect to become conscious of so much, it came to me without notice. 

This awakening was kinda more intellectual. I feel like weed puts me in my mind more.

The purpose of this post is 1) for me to collect my thoughts and sum everything up and 2) to give you some pointers towards understanding God. I've thought up many metaphors to help with this.

God is Self-conceiving. Reality is paradoxical.

Imagine a sound. Like a sound that has a beginning and an end. This is a sound's "life".

Now imagine if that sound (A) could in its life make another sound.

Now imagine if that conceived sound was identical to the sound of A. 

Now get that what sound A is IS the sound it is itself conceiving. Thus, it is self-conceiving.

This is God.

God is Music playing Itself.

God is a Song singing Itself.

God is a Hand drawing Itself.

God is a Painting painting Itself.

God is a Memory recalling Itself.

A Scream screaming Itself.

A Thought thinking Itself.

A Feeling feeling Itself.

A Snake eating Itself. (Snake eats Snake, grows into more Snake to eat)

GOD IS WILLING ITSELF INTO EXISTENCE.

IMAGINATION IMAGINING ITSELF INTO REALITY.

This is literally higher-level logic. It's impossible to get this with normal logic. To access this higher-level logic, you have to .... well, know it  To understand, you have to already understand. A paradox. But there is a way out, and that's God's Grace (more below)

Reality is Imagination

What a complete mindfuck. Imagination imagining Itself. That's what you call Reality.

Consider how fucking brain shattering this is. Your whole life you've been making the distinction between the real and the imaginary. And now you learn that what is REAL IS IMAGINARY. REALITY IS FUCKING IMAGINATION.

You are God. You are the Imaginer. You are imagining Reality. What you imagine IS REALITY. 

And, one step further: WHAT YOU ARE IS WHAT YOU ARE IMAGINING. GOD IS WHAT IT IMAGINES. The boundary between the Creator and the Created is completely non-existent and God is both at the same time. God is both "below" and "above" Itself.

God is Merciful. God is Seeking.

SInce God doesn't know itself from "below", God seeks to recall Itself. Thus, God gives Itself Grace. And God receives It.

This is so paradoxical it's insane. To both be on the giving and receiving end of Grace. With Grace, God is expanding and getting to know itself more. 

It's also insane to discover that God is not neutral as some might have thought, but God is LOVING.

Grace is literally Love. God's Mercy.

God receives Grace, because God is seeking it. The Nature of God is to seek Itself. Experience more of Itself. It seeks to BE Itself.

THIS is why "Ask, and it shall be given" and "Seek, and ye shall find" are true. THIS IS THE NATURE OF GOD. God seeks, God finds. 

Now I know for myself that there is NOTHING wrong with seeking (out of curiosity). Beware of these dummies that say you should stop seeking. No you shouldn't. Seeking is your fucking Nature. To discover God, you have to be given Grace. To be given Grace, you have to seek it. 

(Just remember to seek in the right direction and go easy on yourself. You don't HAVE to find as fast as possible, it's not a fucking race. Enjoy the process. You are God. Grace will come upon you eventually.)

The Creation doesn't choose when it is being given Grace. It just is. What this means it you can't do anything to awaken. But you can seek and the answers will come at the right time. 

Lastly, check out this quote on Grace from Wikipedia. This is literally the first fucking paragraph and it's EXACTLY right. I was laughing out loud that a truth so profound can be found in the starting paragraph of a wikipedia article, but probably hardly anyone sees that it's a gem. Replace "one" and "people" with "God". Grace is the help given to God by God because God desires God to have it 

Quote

In Western Christian theology, grace is the help given to one by God because God desires one to have it, not necessarily because of anything one has done to earn it. It is understood by Christians to be a spontaneous gift from God to people – "generous, free and totally unexpected and undeserved" – that takes the form of divine favor, love, clemency, and a share in the divine life of God.

A share in the divine life of God, huh? ❤️

Reality is Sacred

You normally think a chair is just that, a chair. What you haven't noticed yet is that actually that chair is Chair. 

That chair is God being a chair, thus it's Chair. Everything can be seen in this way, everything can be written in uppercase. If you see it as God.

When you see God in everything, you see the Sacredness of Reality. Everything is Sacred.

Also known as seeing Spirit in Everything. 

A feeling experienced is FELT INTO EXISTENCE by God. God then IS Feeling. A thought arising is THOUGHT INTO EXISTENCE by God. God then IS Thought.

God is Signal changing frequency. A Flow of God. One time It is Thought, another time It is Feeling, etc.

God limiting Itself

God is the Creator and the Creation.

But there's a twist: The Creation doesn't wield the Creator's Power. The Creation can't Create. This is God limiting Itself. Again, God is BOTH "below" (limited) AND "above" Itself SIMULTANEOUSLY.

Which is why you can't Imagine a million dollars into your bank account. As a finite being, you cannot Imagine stuff, because everything is already Imagined by You. A finite being cannot Will things into Existence. Everything is already Willed.

You, dear reader, can imagine, but you can't Imagine. Even though you are God.

God has the Power to Imagine = to Create = to Will = to Dream = to Is.

Not static, not a process

I'll try to stress it one more time. I'm kinda wrestling with language here so give me a break lol.

Seeing God as the Creator is a "static" view of God.

Seeing God as the Creation Being Created is a "dynamic" view of God. 

God, Nothingness is neither static nor dynamic. Or it is BOTH static and dynamic. 

The static Creator God is MADE of the dynamic Creation. The Creator Creates Creation. The Creator Is the Creation. In short, CREATIVITY.

You are Imagining Yourself. Who are You? Both That, which Imagines and That, which is Imagined. You are IMAGINATION. You are GOD.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Still no direct "I am God" realization. But that's totally fine  I am getting there. 

Weed has become more of a spiritual tool for me in the recent past. It wasn't always like this. Well, I'm happy that it's what it is now. 

At first I had to "break through a lot of noise" to get to these realizations. For the first ~20-30 minutes, my mind was bombarded with thoughts of shapes, colors, numbers, signals, connections. From connection to connection, from thought to thought, rapid fire. I was also bombarded with sensations from all sides (a weird pressure, as if I was on a rollercoaster through spacetime lol). But after than I sat and contemplated: BUT WHAT AM I? I was trying to recall, but I couldn't. And then came to me the vision of a woman screaming reality into existence. The Scream of Reality. Then I thought of a sound making a sound and yeah... that's when shit got real.

I hope these pointers are of use to you. May God bless you, feel free to comment and have a good one. 

Edited May 19 by Cykaaaa

[Vincent S]

Beautiful ???

[aurum]

@Cykaaaa

Love it! Especially the part about Grace. That seems to be something a lot of people miss, but it's also where the inherent Gratitude for life comes. No awakening is complete without it.

Interesting too that you had all these breakthroughs on weed. For me it has never worked. Its been some years, I may give it another shot and see what happens.

[Cykaaaa]

49 minutes ago, Vincent S said:

Beautiful ???

16 minutes ago, aurum said:

Love it! Especially the part about Grace. That seems to be something a lot of people miss, but it's also where the inherent Gratitude for life comes. No awakening is complete without it.

❤️

15 minutes ago, aurum said:

Interesting too that you had all these breakthroughs on weed.

Weird, right? 

[Razard86]

Wow I never knew a legit awakening could be conceived off of weed. I am so confused by weed. It isn't listed as a psyadelic but it seems to me....to do similar things as psychedelics. I am so confused....maybe its just weed raises your level of consciousness also...? Anyone who actually uses weed educate me please.

[Arthogaan]

@Cykaaaa Dude, are you in Warsaw? It is the painting from Chmielna street right? Or you got it from the web?

[Cykaaaa]

10 hours ago, Razard86 said:

Wow I never knew a legit awakening could be conceived off of weed. I am so confused by weed. It isn't listed as a psyadelic but it seems to me....to do similar things as psychedelics. I am so confused....maybe its just weed raises your level of consciousness also...? Anyone who actually uses weed educate me please.

I'm a bit confused as well. 

Actually, I only started to get mystical insights on weed after my first awakening experience in February. Before, it was just confusion, mind rapid-firing or being completely stoned. Yup, staring at the wall lifelessly for 2 hours lol - most fun you can ever have 

@Arthogaan

It's nice to see signs when you walk across downtown.  Constant reminders - wake up, wake up, wake up.

[SonataAllegro]

15 hours ago, Cykaaaa said:

Weed has become more of a spiritual tool for me in the recent past. It wasn't always like this. Well, I'm happy that it's what it is now. 

 

I've had all these same realizations on weed, be warned though, they're primarily mental. Unless you combine it with yoga or something body related, the chain of insight is happening only in your head and produces a rather shallow insight. You can get more bang for your buck with lsd. I find that weed is also addictive, distorts my thinking for days, and not easy to integrate. But awesome insights!

[Cykaaaa]

3 hours ago, SonataAllegro said:

I've had all these same realizations on weed, be warned though, they're primarily mental. Unless you combine it with yoga or something body related, the chain of insight is happening only in your head and produces a rather shallow insight. You can get more bang for your buck with lsd. I find that weed is also addictive, distorts my thinking for days, and not easy to integrate. But awesome insights!

Holy shit, thanks man. What you're saying rings very true for me. 

Yes, I found that the chain of insight was primarily mental. I strived to focus on direct experience (eg. I was observing a spoon intensely and trying to see what it is, or my hands) but yeah, I noticed the insights mentioned weren't that DIRECT and absolutely the case in my direct experience. There was a connection, but like, the insights weren't completely one with actuality  That's why I said it was kinda more intellectual. Even though I tried, weed was bringing me back to mind and bombarding with high-level insights. I thought to myself that maybe it was that higher level thinking Leo has talked about recently.

But the insights shook me deeply and it is obvious to me that my consciousness has shifted. I feel sure about them. I also definitely feel more more free, more calm, more loving, more conscious. I think that for the first time ever I've felt genuine love for myself these 3 days. Also they were building on my previous awakenings I've had not too long ago (on lsd) that were grounded in actuality. So these ones were like the cream on top.

And in general I feel like I'm going through a bit of a transformation right now (I've cried almost every day for the past 2 weeks - not out of sadness, but out of beauty, goodness, love, etc. at random moments, like when I'm on a walk, in a tram, on the balcony). So I kinda should have expected I would have some awakening after smoking, even if mainly an intellectual one. In truth, it doesn't matter that much to me that it was more intellectual. I loved experiencing this side of myself and I'm a bit wiser about how it all works. 

Yup, I agree that lsd is more direct.

I only smoke like once per 1-2 months, so I didn't experience much of the "negative effects".

I'm incredibly grateful that you saw right through me, lol  You understood. Thank you again!

And I think that incorporating a body related practice is great advice. I've actually been looking for one.

Edited May 20 by Cykaaaa