Razard86

Just had a new awakening it was the most terrifying and crazy experience

37 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

I was over a friend's house and took 2 edibles within 30+ hours of taking shrooms and I had a crazy Ego Death experience. Here is what happened.

I started to feel like I was going to explode into infinity....and then I did. The whole galaxy ceased to exist. Then I came back and was trying to put myself together again then the universe turned into infinite blocks of which I was trying to put together. It became a quiz. God kept asking me what the true nature of God was. 

Here are couple of take aways.

1. God is infinity forever and that's just how it is.

2. And this one is the one God agreed with. God is infinity and this will never end. So God will continue to dream dreams into infinity.

3. Jesus was real, and Jesus was YOU.  Every experience that exists, rape, murder, torture, war, and the list goes on GOD EXPERIENCED EVERY SINGLE ONE.

God said "I have to experience everything that is how I create. 

Then God took me to Hell. Hell was basically me admitting what I did wrong. I had two things God wanted me to do.

I was avoiding physical pain (things that were painful) because early in my life I use to train very hard and I literally trained to the limit. I pushed my body so hard I gained an aversion or strong dislike for physical pain. I also would look down at drug addicts and avoid them when walking.  I was walking the streets and God put inside me "I'm sorry for judging you as tears ran down my eyes."

I was apologizing for judging life. 

Understand everything is you in your reality. Your true Self as God put the duality of pain and pleasure for you to experience contrast. God itself had to go through every experience it created and all of the things that cause pain, a sharp rock, a couch that you stub your toes on are just DOING THEIR JOB that YOU PUT THEM UP TOO! And you have the NERVE to discriminate against the versions of you who provide pain and honor and show partiality to the ones that give you pleasure? That's like hiring someone to do a job and when they do it well you curse them out!!!

Also any object that causes you pain doesn't want to cause you too much pain because it is you. God will never give you more pain than you can handle (unless you are stuck in a negative thought and emotional pattern then you are just doing it yourself) and you can actually say in the moment "ooh that was a little too much and God will reduce the pain. Life is going to have pain, we need it for the contrast to pleasure. If you always experience pleasure you would get bored. The contrast allows you to appreciate the contrasts of life and as Leo said pain makes the whole simulator SEEM REAL!!! So stop judging the actors in this game you created they ARE JUST DOING THE JOB YOU GAVE THEM!!

Life is an INFINITE MIRROR. When they say you are the universe they literally mean it is inside you. YOU CREATED THE ENTIRE GALAXIES, You created time, past, present and future. I watched myself reconstruct the entire universe INSIDE ME!!

So how it works is everything is inside you and you PROJECT it onto reality which is just an infinite mirror. Now everything in reality is made up of small building blocks of infinity and they HAVE EMOTIONS. Everything in your reality mirrors your emotions. And you create the STORY through your ego which creates the past, and then you predict the future with visualization. The illusion is that everything is other when all you are really doing is playing an imagination game. So for example when you have sex with a girl as a guy and she is riding you, you are actually just masturbating and imagining her and sensations within your mind. When your consciousness is high enough you can realize this.

Reality is as Leo put it a LOVE SIMULATOR. Your body is a biological program, it is made up of your UNIQUE localized infinite perspective WITHIN infinity. You are literally made out of your ego as a human. But the irony is the ego is NOT in control.

So the truth is and Leo mentioned this before.....reality is a hallucination, a TRIP. How it works ....is your project onto realities infinite mirror to create reality. Then your ego rides shotgun during the trip. The driver of the trip is YOUR TRUE SELF. And the ONLY thing the ego has control over is which destination it chooses, and how it chooses to experience the ride to the destination. As anyone on psyedelics will tell you, if you house negative emotions during your trip it can become a "bad trip." Well life works the same way because of what I stated earlier. Everything in life reacts to you in real time based on the thoughts and emotions you have. When you frown at reality it frowns back, its lack frowning in the mirror and getting mad that your reflection doesn't smile back.

The Law of Attraction is also real and the secret to getting it to work is based on how accurate your visualization ability is, and how good you are at generating the feelings of what Nevill Goddard says "wish fufilled."

God also showed me when you get insight it is just god communicating with your heart (Your heart is literally made out of your feelings and emotions)and then the brain processes the insight and attempts to make sense of it. This is proof that copyright and trademark is blasphemy and of the ego because all inventions are of God.

Reality is LITERALLY technology. It is a simulator, every human is a biological robot, and their task is to awaken and become sentient. The closer they get to this the closer they are in dispelling the transparent barrier between the ego and the true self. All feelings and emotions is just biological divine data being transmitted.

God is constantly trying to communicate with you, and you have to raise your awareness to receive the data. To receive it you have to submit to God's love and if you do God will communicate to your mind through insertion.....literally God has sex with your mind.

And through that you create insight and creation happens. So your mind is the womb of the Universe, and your true self implants its seed and instantly brings it into realization. 

There are some more insights I got...but too many for me to remember at the moment. 

Just keep these cores in life.

The only control your finite self has over life is the destination you choose to go toward, and how you choose to experience the journey there emotionally.

You DO NOT control the events that transpire to that journey your true self has that covered.

DO NOT JUDGE LIFE. The TRUTH is you are ACTUALLY IN HEAVEN!!! And everything is perfect JUST AS IT IS.

You live in a reality where you can create the life you want WHENEVER YOU WANT IN YOUR MIND RIGHT NOW. If you raise your consciousness and are good at visualization you can experience living in a mansion filthy rich and eating and having as much sex as you want. You can choose to take on the form of any creature again if you have mastered visualization. It is hard to do it as a finite form but your true self has mastered it.

Then at your choosing whatever you visualized you can choose to get it and your true self will drive you to it and all you have to do is enjoy the ride no matter what happens and submit and appreciate whatever happens throughout the trip. 

Separation from God and ignorance of the Non-Duality is the cause of all suffering.

So humans are literally in heaven creating hell. If they knew the truth....they would just enjoy heaven. And live their life how they want in the waking dream or what we call reality.

Also the reason you have to sleep, is God literally organizes all the data you receive during the day so you can make sense of it, and God heals you (and makes you grow if you are young).

 

 

Edited by Razard86

The same strength, the same level of desire it takes to change your life, is the same strength, the same level of desire it takes to end your life. Notice you are headed towards one or the other. - Razard86

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Posted (edited)

15 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

Reality is LITERALLY technology. It is a simulator, every human is a biological robot, and their task is to awaken and become sentient. The closer they get to this the closer they are in dispelling the transparent barrier between the ego and the true self. All feelings and emotions is just biological divine data being transmitted.

So earth is fundamental, and consciousness is just an accidental by-product?  Yeah that's wrong.

Though the bit about humans being robots and everything being data is good.

 

Everything you say is basically the perspective I had as an Orange child, back in the day.

Edited by thisintegrated

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2 minutes ago, thisintegrated said:

So earth is fundamental, and consciousness is just an accidental by-product?  Yeah that's wrong.

Though the bit about humans being robots and everything being data is good.

Everything I wrote I literally confirmed through direct experience. Your interpretation of what I said is not even what I said. Please explain how you came to that conclusion.


The same strength, the same level of desire it takes to change your life, is the same strength, the same level of desire it takes to end your life. Notice you are headed towards one or the other. - Razard86

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2 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

Everything I wrote I literally confirmed through direct experience. Your interpretation of what I said is not even what I said. Please explain how you came to that conclusion.

He heard you talking about biology, so he assumed that you meant that consciousness is caused by biology.


Intrinsic joy is revealed in the marriage of meaning and being.

 

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Just now, Razard86 said:

Everything I wrote I literally confirmed through direct experience. Your interpretation of what I said is not even what I said. Please explain how you came to that conclusion.

You speak as if there are humans, and they receive data (from elsewhere), and that their goal is to become conscious.

You speak as if the starting point is on a physical earth, and the physical humans eventually evolve beyond the physical.

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1 minute ago, thisintegrated said:

You speak as if there are humans, and they receive data (from elsewhere), and that their goal is to become conscious.

You speak as if the starting point is on a physical earth, and the physical humans eventually evolve beyond the physical.

He is talking about spiritual development.


Intrinsic joy is revealed in the marriage of meaning and being.

 

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2 minutes ago, thisintegrated said:

You speak as if there are humans, and they receive data (from elsewhere), and that their goal is to become conscious.

You speak as if the starting point is on a physical earth, and the physical humans eventually evolve beyond the physical.

I said no such thing. Everything you said is a projection. I stated that humans are biological robots.

Humans are the manifestation of localized infinity put into finite form. That finite form is LITERALLY made up of a perspective. I WATCHED myself go from infinity to finitude and saw it became a localized perspective. Your entire human body is made up of your perspective. This means if you fail to wake up you just run as a simulator playing out your programming. This has been known for centuries really Leo even did a video about this. Majority of human behavior is unconscious. 

Now if you want me to explain how this biological machine works I can. It is a combination of logic and order, and creativity or impermance if you will. Reality is the greatest technology ever made. Everything basically follows an ordered program and also has the ability to change/or evolve which just basically means it installs its own updates, based on God's will.


The same strength, the same level of desire it takes to change your life, is the same strength, the same level of desire it takes to end your life. Notice you are headed towards one or the other. - Razard86

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Posted (edited)

2 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

I said no such thing. Everything you said is a projection. I stated that humans are biological robots.

Humans are the manifestation of localized infinity put into finite form. That finite form is LITERALLY made up of a perspective. I WATCHED myself go from infinity to finitude and saw it became a localized perspective. Your entire human body is made up of your perspective. This means if you fail to wake up you just run as a simulator playing out your programming. This has been known for centuries really Leo even did a video about this. Majority of human behavior is unconscious

So you still believe other people are real? Just stuck in their egos?

 

. . maybe try 3 edibles next time (lol, kidding)

Edited by thisintegrated

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You literally didn't read anything I said. I literally just said that everything is in your mind. Like seriously at this point you are trolling.


The same strength, the same level of desire it takes to change your life, is the same strength, the same level of desire it takes to end your life. Notice you are headed towards one or the other. - Razard86

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Posted (edited)

11 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

He is talking about spiritual development.

 

I'm glad you understand. 

Edited by Razard86

The same strength, the same level of desire it takes to change your life, is the same strength, the same level of desire it takes to end your life. Notice you are headed towards one or the other. - Razard86

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5 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

You literally didn't read anything I said. I literally just said that everything is in your mind. Like seriously at this point you are trolling.

That's his thing: taking small amounts of data and drawing huge conclusions xD (inside joke)

@thisintegrated  Just kidding bro ?


Intrinsic joy is revealed in the marriage of meaning and being.

 

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Just now, Carl-Richard said:

That's his thing: taking small amounts of data and drawing huge conclusions xD

@thisintegrated  Just kidding bro ?

The only thing lacking in you is consciousness.

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Just now, thisintegrated said:

The only thing lacking in you is consciousness.

BAHAHAHA consciousness scares me :) 


Intrinsic joy is revealed in the marriage of meaning and being.

 

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Just now, Carl-Richard said:

BAHAHAHA consciousness scares me :) 

Luckily you're just a biological mod-bot?

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Great post


 "If you showed a caveman our technology, he would think it was magic. And if you showed a modern man magic, he would think it was technology." - Outlast (video game)

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The moment I read these types of posts, I instantly get suicidal ideations and cravings. Should I buy the new awakening course or not? Should I awaken or not?  I love the seriousness of life and I really don't want to give it up


أشهد أن لا إله إلا الله وأشهد أن ليو رسول الله

*This account is no longer active as the user has decided to leave the forum*

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4 minutes ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

The moment I read these types of posts, I instantly get suicidal ideations and cravings. Should I buy the new awakening course or not? Should I awaken or not?  I love the seriousness of life and I really don't want to give it up

I don't think you're even grounded enough for the current teachings, just from reading this and your previous posts. Your ego conflates and projects things a lot. I had 0 thoughts about suicide after reading this post, so I would question where that is coming from.

I have no idea about the course though, it might account for beginners coming in, but Leo's teaching style has always been very brash and unsuited for beginners, so I doubt it. Might be wrong though, I haven't looked into what Leo said about the course.


 "If you showed a caveman our technology, he would think it was magic. And if you showed a modern man magic, he would think it was technology." - Outlast (video game)

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14 minutes ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

The moment I read these types of posts, I instantly get suicidal ideations and cravings. Should I buy the new awakening course or not? Should I awaken or not?  I love the seriousness of life and I really don't want to give it up

You might wanna start with content from someone like Jordan Peterson or any other "normal" self-help youtubers out there before you jump into this abstract existential stuff which you're not yet ready for.

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@Husseinisdoingfine Wow, on second thought, yeah, you should join the army. Godspeed dude ? /sarcasm


“We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak." -Epictetus

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I just had one last realization. I completed the Dark Night of the Soul. What we call Ego Death. Beware once you start the process YOU CANNOT UNDO IT. I fought so hard to keep my ego but God kept trying to kill it. I want to tell you how to beat it but I feel like that will spoil it so I won't.

 

I will tell you this one thing though....YOU ARE LITERALLY IN HEAVEN RIGHT NOW!!! YOU JUST DON'T REALIZE IT!!!! Its amazing we are in heaven!!!! If you destroy the ego you will realize it. Its the hardest test you will ever take. The gift is God level awareness upon completion. I know exactly how reality works and how I am doing it. HAHHAHA GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!!


The same strength, the same level of desire it takes to change your life, is the same strength, the same level of desire it takes to end your life. Notice you are headed towards one or the other. - Razard86

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