Illusory Self

How do you deal with the loneliness

9 posts in this topic

I recently decided to go & see my Dad for a holiday & it made me realize how our values differ so much. Most people I interact with on a daily basis are just not into self-development. I wouldn't say I have taken that much action in the past but at least my mind is open the amazing possibilities of actualizing your life if you put in the work. 

I find most people just work mundane jobs & watch T.V, ect... It makes me feel really internally alone because I find a cannot relate with many people in person. It makes it harder to make friends. 

I find I get really lonely a lot of the times & not sure how to deal with it. I just crave someone to talk to about bigger things than the mundane. 

I don't really have any friends in real life & think it is a problem, but I don't want to make friends for the sake of it. I want deep meaningful connections. 

I think it would also help me on my journey towards self improvement because of accountability, I don't have any of that right now & it is incredibly easy to fall of track/get caught up in other peoples realities. 

I want to self-actualize my life but I fall of track so much & I think it is due to lack of friends who are passionate about the same things. It feels hard when everyone around you is basically into the opposite of what you are into.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't make friends. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When you try to impose your own perspactive about how life should be lived on people,  you will be lonely. I guess you need to accept them as they are don't try to change them, that usually leads to conflict and bitter conversation then you will start to make freinds.

As some said be the change you want to see in the wrold. Book are really helpful, find a good book about this topic. 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why do you want other people?  To help you learn?  To verify your thinking?  There's nothing others can give you that you can't give yourself.

If you got what you needed from others, you'd become dependent on them.

Being alone isn't the problem.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, thisintegrated said:

Why do you want other people?  To help you learn?  To verify your thinking?  There's nothing others can give you that you can't give yourself.

If you got what you needed from others, you'd become dependent on them.

Being alone isn't the problem.

@thisintegrated

I don't understand why I crave companionship & connection with others. I often use it as a distraction just to escape from myself. I know they cannot give me anything, it feels largely an unconscious process that goes on within me. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I sometimes feel loneliness too. I once heard Abraham Hicks say that feelings such as loneliness aren't caused by who is or isn't around you, but are all about you thinking thoughts that are out of allignment with your natural vibration. I couldn't hear it at that time too well, but a little later I found I could move myself from rather deep feeling of loneliness to bliss in a minute of 5/10, and such experiences changed how I relate to feelings such as loneliness. Whenever I feel lonely now, I remember to relax and know that the only thing I really got to do, is to guide myself to well-being again with my thought or awareness, or however I feel to do it. Of course, that doesn't diminish the satisfaction we can get from deeper relationships, but if you don't currently have them, perhaps the best thing is to know that guiding yourself to well-being/allignment, is what the work is all about, and perhaps all we really need to do.
At the other hand, maybe some sense of (human) connection is necessary, but I doubt that's the problem here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

find the pearl of great value then spend the rest of your life giving it away

in the beginning you are seeing the extraordinary as ordinary the world is dull mundane boring

at the end you are seeing the ordinary as extraordinary the world is beguiling wondrous spell-binding

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 hours ago, Illusory Self said:

@thisintegrated

I don't understand why I crave companionship & connection with others. I often use it as a distraction just to escape from myself. I know they cannot give me anything, it feels largely an unconscious process that goes on within me. 

Same here?‍♂️

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now