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What do women want from men ?

30 posts in this topic

1 hour ago, Gianna said:

Emotional availability

What do you mean exactly by that?  Can you give examples ?


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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17 hours ago, Someone here said:
18 hours ago, Gianna said:

Emotional availability

17 hours ago, Someone here said:

What do you mean exactly by that?  Can you give examples ?

It means being willing to feel. If you are not willing to feel the entirety of your being (including your emotions/vulnerability) then you are not going to be willing to feel the entirety of another’s being (you and other are existentially the same), and most girls need to be felt and joined (connection) to feel loved. This is deep down what they are looking for imo but I also think everyone is looking for this. 

Anyway, practically speaking this looks like being with (think Love, Union, Oneness) a girl in total and that includes her emotional dimension— which most guys are in resistance to. But people in general are in resistance to this, even girls. There’s the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual dimension and we’re all in a bit of resistance to the emotional aspect being it “takes time” and “energy” and “change” and most importantly, responsibility. Nevertheless, to connect with a girl on an emotional level comes from a surrendered openness and willingness to feel.
 

But being with a girl in her feelings is not a spiraling identification with it. This is where most guys go wrong after swinging the pendulum from being totally unwilling to feel to willing to feel. When this happens it is, paradoxically, another form of emotional  closed-ness/unavailability because you are making it about you (one-sided; closed) which does not suggest Union or even availability for union. 
 

So just think about a good parent with their child. They are understanding of the child’s perspective, validating of it, they see, feel, and hear into the child making the child feel like the parent is with them (Union). It is not a matter of “right” or “wrong” it is a matter of Love/Union/Presence.
 

The opposite of emotion availability looks like denial (“You’re sensitive”), rejection (“It’s not logical that you’re feeling that way”), or withdrawal (closed heart/unwillingness to feel). 
 

Hope this helps! Sorry there’s no simple way to answer this. It can be a whole book and there are books on it. 

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Trust, security. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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@Gianna

6 hours ago, Gianna said:

 

It means being willing to feel. If you are not willing to feel the entirety of your being (including your emotions/vulnerability) then you are not going to be willing to feel the entirety of another’s being (you and other are existentially the same), and most girls need to be felt and joined (connection) to feel loved. This is deep down what they are looking for imo but I also think everyone is looking for this. 

Anyway, practically speaking this looks like being with (think Love, Union, Oneness) a girl in total and that includes her emotional dimension— which most guys are in resistance to. But people in general are in resistance to this, even girls. There’s the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual dimension and we’re all in a bit of resistance to the emotional aspect being it “takes time” and “energy” and “change” and most importantly, responsibility. Nevertheless, to connect with a girl on an emotional level comes from a surrendered openness and willingness to feel.
 

But being with a girl in her feelings is not a spiraling identification with it. This is where most guys go wrong after swinging the pendulum from being totally unwilling to feel to willing to feel. When this happens it is, paradoxically, another form of emotional  closed-ness/unavailability because you are making it about you (one-sided; closed) which does not suggest Union or even availability for union. 
 

So just think about a good parent with their child. They are understanding of the child’s perspective, validating of it, they see, feel, and hear into the child making the child feel like the parent is with them (Union). It is not a matter of “right” or “wrong” it is a matter of Love/Union/Presence.
 

The opposite of emotion availability looks like denial (“You’re sensitive”), rejection (“It’s not logical that you’re feeling that way”), or withdrawal (closed heart/unwillingness to feel). 
 

Hope this helps! Sorry there’s no simple way to answer this. It can be a whole book and there are books on it. 

That's a nice detailed description. Thanks for sharing. It will certainly help me relate more deeply with females. 


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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@Preety_India without beating around the bush ..what do you find sexy and attractive In a man, both physically and in his personality? 


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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8 hours ago, Gianna said:

 

It means being willing to feel. If you are not willing to feel the entirety of your being (including your emotions/vulnerability) then you are not going to be willing to feel the entirety of another’s being (you and other are existentially the same), and most girls need to be felt and joined (connection) to feel loved. This is deep down what they are looking for imo but I also think everyone is looking for this. 

Anyway, practically speaking this looks like being with (think Love, Union, Oneness) a girl in total and that includes her emotional dimension— which most guys are in resistance to. But people in general are in resistance to this, even girls. There’s the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual dimension and we’re all in a bit of resistance to the emotional aspect being it “takes time” and “energy” and “change” and most importantly, responsibility. Nevertheless, to connect with a girl on an emotional level comes from a surrendered openness and willingness to feel.
 

But being with a girl in her feelings is not a spiraling identification with it. This is where most guys go wrong after swinging the pendulum from being totally unwilling to feel to willing to feel. When this happens it is, paradoxically, another form of emotional  closed-ness/unavailability because you are making it about you (one-sided; closed) which does not suggest Union or even availability for union. 
 

So just think about a good parent with their child. They are understanding of the child’s perspective, validating of it, they see, feel, and hear into the child making the child feel like the parent is with them (Union). It is not a matter of “right” or “wrong” it is a matter of Love/Union/Presence.
 

The opposite of emotion availability looks like denial (“You’re sensitive”), rejection (“It’s not logical that you’re feeling that way”), or withdrawal (closed heart/unwillingness to feel). 
 

Hope this helps! Sorry there’s no simple way to answer this. It can be a whole book and there are books on it. 

Very well put. I believe the reason though that both men and women struggle with the emotional dimension is a result of our culture rejecting that aspect. I grew up in Western Culture and the Western Shadow is the feeling/emotional dimension. I would actually align feeling more with the spiritual and emotions as part of the mental dimension. But we can separate it its fine. Anyway in the Western Domain we care more about logic, and we slightly care about creativity but only in respects as to how much it serves us either militarily, financially or through entertainment. 

For example if you are creative just for the sake of being creative in society your work has no value. Anyway this is why Men and Women are so disconnected now adays.

The Modern Women projects her emotional turmoil onto the Man.

The Modern Man ignores her emotions and projects is uncomfortableness with her emotions onto her.

He tells her she is too emotional, she says he is insensitive and the cycle repeats itself. Until we culturally start teaching how to get in touch with your emotions and feelings and make this a standard for BOTH sexes.....mental health will continue to plague Western Society.


The same strength, the same level of desire it takes to change your life, is the same strength, the same level of desire it takes to end your life. Notice you are headed towards one or the other. - Razard86

Your ACTIONS REVEAL how you REALLY FEEL. Want TRUTH? Observe and ADMIT, do the OPPOSITE of what you usually do which is observe and DENY. - Razard86

Think about it.....Leo gave the best definition of the truth I ever heard...."The truth is what is..." so if that is the truth.... YOUR ACTIONS IN THE PRESENT ARE THE TRUTH!! It's what's happening....do you like what you see? Can you accept it? You are just a SENTIENT MIRROR, OBSERVING ITS REFLECTION..... can you accept what appears? -Razard86

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@Razard86

Yeah, it can all be said to be mental. Everything is a thought. But the only thing that is not a thought is the one perceiving the thoughts which is feeling itself think, becoming those thoughts, feeling itself as those thoughts, etc. And yes we care more about logic of course because it is the mind distracting from Truth which comes from feeling what’s beyond logic— what’s happening right now. I think we are slowing coming back into alignment with the genders. :) 

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4 hours ago, Gianna said:


@Razard86

Yeah, it can all be said to be mental. Everything is a thought. But the only thing that is not a thought is the one perceiving the thoughts which is feeling itself think, becoming those thoughts, feeling itself as those thoughts, etc. And yes we care more about logic of course because it is the mind distracting from Truth which comes from feeling what’s beyond logic— what’s happening right now. I think we are slowing coming back into alignment with the genders. :) 

We definitely are!!! At a snail's pace lol.


The same strength, the same level of desire it takes to change your life, is the same strength, the same level of desire it takes to end your life. Notice you are headed towards one or the other. - Razard86

Your ACTIONS REVEAL how you REALLY FEEL. Want TRUTH? Observe and ADMIT, do the OPPOSITE of what you usually do which is observe and DENY. - Razard86

Think about it.....Leo gave the best definition of the truth I ever heard...."The truth is what is..." so if that is the truth.... YOUR ACTIONS IN THE PRESENT ARE THE TRUTH!! It's what's happening....do you like what you see? Can you accept it? You are just a SENTIENT MIRROR, OBSERVING ITS REFLECTION..... can you accept what appears? -Razard86

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