Stage Yellow/Postconventional dating advice

[Zeroh]

 

I would love to hear how others in the same spectrum of development deals with the challenges of dating in a world of mostly conventional/tier one individuals!
(What are your challenges? How do you date? What's your success story? What do you seek in a partner? Advice in general for this particular stage).
 

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From my experiences its rather difficult to find relationships with depth in the conventional domains. Getting dates is fairly easy by following "the game", however the quality of the dates and relationships I do find is reflected thereof. Plenty of conventional relationships has great value, and these are awesome people! It's not that. I've also dated several women in these stages, and despite many having values, ideas and several attractive qualities, somehow the deeper emotions elude the relationship. Typically, my feelings simply do not develop, and with some poorly developed orange desires I often fall into a classical man-trap of thinking with the wrong head and end up with a woman head over heels for me with no inkling of reciprocity.

My main challenges is the fact that I have a general disinterest in the conventional dating domain, and typically only date women met in real life. With the intense focus on my life purpose and the behaviors that reflect it, which aren't that social. Combined with the dating domain (in my country and city) consisting of either clubs, parties, or tinder, and wham, we got ourselves a toothpaste and orange-juice situation! Hah! Moreover, I have zero interest in having my phone in my face to text for the sake of texting. Which is apparently a requisite for dating today. Thus, when not playing the game, its pretty fucking dry out there. Regardless of that,  I've noticed that women the closest to postconventional/yellow (or beyond) behaviors and paradigms elicit a spiritual boner in me. That is, these woman makes the heart smile rather than the unga-bunga drools I get from conventional dating.

I recently shuffled around my priorities, work-life, and general purpose driven tasks to open up for more social contact in order to amend these challenges and seek out like-minded individuals for both dating and friendships. So I ask my fellow postconventionalists, where and how the fuck do I find you? Also, what are your advices for tackling this? 

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Finally, Leo, if you read this, how do you deal with these challenges? what is your advice? 

 

 

[Terell Kirby]

The more conscious you get, the less you want to participate in shallow social games.

However, socialization is essential for finding a mate. Pursue your materialistic cravings if you must, but do it consciously and remember that it will never truly satisfy you. Doesn’t mean you can’t partake though.

[Yarco]

Tell women exactly what they want to hear*

*But only if it's authentic/genuine anyway and you feel like they're a good match for you.

 

So I guess the same as any other stage: "Just be yourself". If someone doesn't want you for you, then you're engaging in some form of lying or manipulation to get them and keep them around. If the feelings don't develop then they don't develop, move on.

If you're looking for a high-consciousness woman that isn't on dating apps, doesn't go to typical dating places, and doesn't want to text, then yeah you're fighting an uphill battle and looking for a unicorn. You've already weeded out 95% of the dating pool.

Go to places where high-consciousness people hang out. Aside from retreats and yoga and stuff, I don't know what that would even be. In the organic section of the supermarket I guess.

[universe]

It's the same as finding like-minded people. Real life is a good start. Go to retreats, yoga classes or other events like this.

What do you want from dating?

In the end you are only trying to fall in love with an illusion.

The more you practice Self-Love the easier it will be for you to love everything.

If you developed kind of a resentment to classic orange, blue can be a refreshing change.

?

[Spiral]

I don’t care anymore, I can satisfy my own sexual and romantic needs.
 

That’s probably not useful advice however ? So if I were to go looking, I would start at our local burn community. Maybe do some oxytocin massage.
 

Partake in a activity you enjoy and don’t have the arrogance to disregard people because of of simply their spiral stage. You can learn something from everyone.

Edited April 2, 2022 by Spiral

[Nivsch]

Be fucking interested in the other person genuinely. If you are his/her type, then the attraction will happen naturally.