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jake473

Extreme weakness (health problem)

7 posts in this topic

I deleted what I originally said. 

Edited by jake473
A bit whiny.

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I deleted what I originally said. 

Edited by jake473
Good post, but too soon.

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I deleted what I originally said.  

Edited by jake473
This was fine actually.

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Last entry - I deleted all my entries because of cringe. I wonder why it's not okay to expose such arrogance. I know others are just as bad.

This is to be my last post on the forum. I hate how I condescend to people when I use it. I don't need to be so self-serving to do self-development.

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Cringe is always ego. If anyone talks about hating themselves or wanting to disappear then you know that they're super judgemental of others. This is only a defense mechanism. Don't get me wrong, I experience these things too.

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It's harder not to get into an unresourceful mental state when I can't move my body. I'm hoooooping as much as I can that God will restore me to health. I'm sure that my soul took this on on purpose, and that we never take on more than we can truly handle.

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2 hours ago, jake473 said:

If anyone talks about hating themselves or wanting to disappear then you know that they're super judgemental of others.

This is put so badly. I'm comparing it to God, not the average human. Most humans don't say these things and they're probably less conscious. I'm just trying to figure out why I still feel these things, because it feels really bad. 

I wish I didn't post here. I just read the forum and I log in against my intentions. 

Everyone wants to be the best but won't admit it. It's innate. I wish I didn't want to be the best. But if you succeed in being the best there's nothing else to do except share. My mind is so twisted because of my arrogance and grandiosity. 

My neurosis will heal when I recover my health and am working on projects all day and socializing. I can't really maintain my positive states when I have 12 hours of stasis every day. A bit of "healthy" distraction is probably good for the mind.

Just be the best at being you. Try not to suffer so much. It's possible to step outside of suffering in the moment, it's just ridiculously hard.

People don't care about your accomplishments. They just care about how they feel. Arrogance is repulsive. Why isn't this always the case? I don't know, but I've run out of thinking energy for today.

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