patricknotstar

Many incels are misunderstood

76 posts in this topic

   It is very easy to villianize someone because that way you don't have to empathize with them, and to empathize can be painful. To feel someone's suffering, it is much easier to paint a negative image.

   A good example is incels. By definition all an incel means is to be "INvoluntarily CELibate." Many men are incel not because they are inherently bad people , or hate women but simply because of neurodivergent disorders or their appearance. Sex is ultimately the exchange of DNA and women do select men based on genetic indicators of fitness , I'm sorry but if you think only men can be superficial and care about appearances  you're severely misguided. It's not even superficial but just evolutionary instinct, sexual selection keeps the gene pool healthier and females of most species are the selectors. ( example Bonobos)

   Now i'm not saying you have to a model or millionaire to get a girlfriend, but there is definitely a threshold men must meet to enter the dating market and have any chance and some men simply don't meet it. It doesn't matter how kind , intelligent or interesting they are , simply due to circumstances out of their control they will never have much success with women. This is a reality it's not fair , brain cancer isn't fair , dwarfism isn't fair etc...

   So not all incels are bad people , some are good people who were just dealt a bad hand. The same way many men who have great success with women and dating can be horrible people. 

Edited by patricknotstar
added the last sentence

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:x

Yeah don't like the label either doesn't help anyone. More compassion is needed not less. 

I also wonder how many of them were given bad information on their appearance by their family of origin. That shit can feed itself forever if the internalized messaging doesn't get broken.

Edited by puporing

You are the Light, we are One. Truth is Love. Truth is Beauty. Every frame is a painting. ❣ Nothing but Love.

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How I see it, it's really not the involuntary celibacy that triggers hate / judgement in people, it's the misogyny, ideology, the general blaming others for ones own feelings and experiences, the self-pity.

Most people seem to project and build ideologies and prejudices though, so that's not only an incel thing, it's widespread emotional suppression and aversion. Perhaps this is just very visible in incel ideology / community for the outsiders, so they kind of fall into the same trap of projection.

14 minutes ago, patricknotstar said:

Sex is ultimately the exchange of DNA and women do select men based on genetic indicators of fitness , I'm sorry but if you think only men can be superficial and care about appearances  you're severely misguided. It's not even superficial but just evolutionary instinct, sexual selection keeps the gene pool healthier and females of most species are the selectors.

What you wrote there, is thought / belief and can be let go, if you're willing.

If you're not feeling good about you, your life and intimate / romantic relationships, I'd like to say that it is possible for you to feel great about all that stuff, if you want that.


Everyone is waiting for eternity but the Shaman asks: "how about today?"

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31 minutes ago, patricknotstar said:

Now i'm not saying you have to a model or millionaire to get a girlfriend, but there is definitely a threshold men must meet to enter the dating market and have any chance and some men simply don't meet it. It doesn't matter how kind , intelligent or interesting they are , simply due to circumstances out of their control they will never have much success with women. This is a reality it's not fair , brain cancer isn't fair , dwarfism isn't fair etc...

It's still excuses to a large degree.

Nobody is denying that some guys were dealt a very bad hand.

Of course, if you are short, have a weird face, autism and are really skinny (or whatever else), then dating is gonna be much harder for you.

But you can still attract some women.

It'll just take longer and require more work to get to the point where things are working out for you.

I mean just look at Owen Cook for example. He's short, bolding af, ginger and has autism (Asperger's). He still got laid by hundreds of girls.

Often your insecurities about your flaws matter more than your flaws.

Just make the best out of yourself and take action.

Also lower your standards, especially in the beginning.

If you are a 4/10 then be ok with dating 4/10 girls.

Simultaneously work on becoming a 6/10 and just keep going.

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No one ever said incels are bad people. Some of them simply create a toxic online ideology which has nothing to do with reality or truth.

Even dwarves can get laid if they go out and socialize.

Most incels can get laid, they simply have too toxic of a mindset to do the work necessary.

It's true that women will not sleep with you out of pitty. They are selective for strong men. Which you can become through hard work if you drop your toxic incel ideology.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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they're not bad people, they're just lame weak-minded people.

I love how selfish genes in human beings especially in women play out. 

women hate weak males and that's a biological mechanism in order to not get impregnated by those weaklings out there.

welcome to ruthless bad-ass natural selection in my biology class. 

Edited by hamedsf

"If you kick me when I'm down, you better pray I don't get up"

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1 hour ago, patricknotstar said:

there is definitely a threshold men must meet to enter the dating market and have any chance and some men simply don't meet it.

Your mind is the only threshold.

If lack of sex is your number 1 concern in life, you're a whiner in my opinion. Doesn't mean it's not an issue that should be addresed and solved, but there are a lot more important things than sex. In fact, I can think about 10 from the top of my head.

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8 minutes ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

Your mind is the only threshold.

If lack of sex is your number 1 concern in life, you're a whiner in my opinion. Doesn't mean it's not an issue that should be addresed and solved, but there are a lot more important things than sex. In fact, I can think about 10 from the top of my head.

What's your number 1 then?


Please do not take anything I say as an insult. I have 17 warning points and I'd like to stay on this forum.

You are Love.

1 year meditation, 1 hour daily https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/76489-1-year-meditation-1h-daily-start-at-100122/

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8 minutes ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

Your mind is the only threshold.

If lack of sex is your number 1 concern in life, you're a whiner in my opinion. Doesn't mean it's not an issue that should be addresed and solved, but there are a lot more important things than sex. In fact, I can think about 10 from the top of my head.

if sex is so unimportant why do you partake in it. Seems patronizing to tell someone something is trivial when you yourself can't abstain from it. Practice what you preach 

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40 minutes ago, hamedsf said:

they're not bad people, they're just lame weak-minded people.

I love how selfish genes in human beings especially in women play out. 

women hate weak males and that's a biological mechanism in order to not get impregnated by those weaklings out there.

welcome to ruthless bad-ass natural selection in my biology class. 

Women also select on looks but no one addresses that here , probably because it's easier on the ego to believe what women are attracted to it based in behaviour and not genetics, because the man believes he can replicate those attractive behaviour traits , but attractive genetic traits such as height , facial bone structure etc are not in his control

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3 minutes ago, patricknotstar said:

Women also select on looks but no one addresses that here

3 minutes ago, patricknotstar said:

but attractive genetic traits such as height , facial bone structure etc are not in his control

But not in the way in which men do it with women.

Women favor good looks, but if you don't have ideal looks you still have decent chances to succeed if many other things are good.

It's also easier for your ego to believe that there's nothing you can do because of your looks.

Until you don't make an effort to improve yourself and become proactive with women it's gonna be very easy for you to make yourself believe it's looks what is limiting you. 

Ask yourself what you want.

If you want to become better with women then do whatever you can to improve yourself while ignoring all the limiting black pill/incel kind of ideologies.

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14 minutes ago, Gregory1 said:

What's your number 1 then?

In the biggest picture possible, it's the Truth.

At this phase of my life however, it's my life purphose and ripped physique/healthy lifestyle, while sex/relationships come 3d. As I get older and older, I expect sex to be less and less significant, untill the need dissapears completely.

18 minutes ago, patricknotstar said:

if sex is so unimportant why do you partake in it. Seems patronizing to tell someone something is trivial when you yourself can't abstain from it. Practice what you preach 

You clearly misread and misunderstood. I didn't say sex was unimportant, I claimed that there are some (a lot of, actually) things even more important. Sex is obviously something that should be experienced and the urge/desire burned throught, for a healthy mental development of an individual. But it's never gonna be my absolute priority. If it was, I'd become a pickup artist, and make my whole life about chasing pussy.

Have some nuance, man.

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4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

No one ever said incels are bad people. Some of them simply create a toxic online ideology which has nothing to do with reality or truth.

Even dwarves can get laid if they go out and socialize.

Most incels can get laid, they simply have too toxic of a mindset to do the work necessary.

It's true that women will not sleep with you out of pitty. They are selective for strong men. Which you can become through hard work if you drop your toxic incel ideology.

You say most incels and not all incels can get laid simply because there will always be some incels out there who will never be willing to change or improve their mindset no matter what?

Edited by Hardkill

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38 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

You say most incels and not all incels can get laid simply because there will always be some incels out there who will never be willing to change or improve their mindset no matter what?

I expect many incels are too far gone into toxic ideology to get good with girls. It's a damn shame.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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I am acutely aware of the fact that I could be an incel if I was just a bit more unlucky and downtrodden in life.

One of my favorite Youtubers of all time is an incel called George's Journal (formerly known as Forever Alone Feels and Virgin Messiah.) Been watching every video this guy has made since like 2015, even while he has deleted at least 3 separate channels along the way.

https://www.youtube.com/c/George’sJournal/videos

There is nothing that separates me from this guy except pure luck. If anything, he tries harder than me, has more willpower, and has overcome more odds than me. But for some reason he's still a virgin.

He did nofap for far longer than I ever could. He started eating healthy and working out, lost like 100 lbs and looks like an absolute chad now. He has pushed himself in far more areas of life and developed himself more than I could. All while facing constant losses, he kept fighting an uphill battle. And still no gf.

I don't think I look any better or have better social skills than him. Maybe he is doing something really stupid when talking to women, but he seems friendly and charismatic and well-adjusted enough on camera. 

There are a lot of really weird and toxic incels for sure. But I think people also underestimate that a good % of people just get dealt a bad hand too, and can't seem to win no matter how hard they try.

I have a soft spot for incels because I see so much of myself in them. There are some that definitely get stuck in negative thought loops that you can't talk them out of, but I think many are coachable and capable of greatness with just a little bit of guidance.

I'm just an incel that a few girls have said yes to. I've treated most of my partners like crap and they still stick with me, and so many incels can't get a break. It's heartbreakingly unfair.

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Disappointment disappointment disappointment is all you're going to get. 

That's what you get among a bunch of incels. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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5 hours ago, Yarco said:

One of my favorite Youtubers of all time is an incel called George's Journal (formerly known as Forever Alone Feels and Virgin Messiah.) Been watching every video this guy has made since like 2015, even while he has deleted at least 3 separate channels along the way.

https://www.youtube.com/c/George’sJournal/videos

I've quickly skimmed throught the guy's channel, and it's not at all due to him being unlucky. He just doesn't socialise enough, that's it. Working out and camping trips aren't gonna get you a gf - which is what his channel seems to be about, doing things in nature with few of his buddies, posting some insight here and there, weight loss/working out. Only socializing, and developing that social courage will get you laid at the end of the day. Anything else, you're basically doing for yourself.

That's the main reason why I don't have a gf yet either, I don't socialize enough, and don't push the social comfort zone far enough. That's it. But you don't see me cry about me not getting laid yet. Getting laid takes a brutal ammount of socializing, and brutal ammount of failure in the beggining - and I haven't done enough of it yet.

This shit is not about luck guys.

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11 hours ago, Aleister Crowleyy said:

@Leo Gura Why women don't want to be women, is the real question. 

maybe they want to be women but they just want to be men more

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5 hours ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

Getting laid takes a brutal ammount of socializing

Even this is a limiting belief.

You don't need to socialize that much, though it certainly helps if you do.


Alternative Rock Music and Spirituality on YouTube: The Buddha Visions

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