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Fadious

Feedback on playful banter

12 posts in this topic

Hey people,
There a few things that I would like to fine-tune in my banter in common situations, so any input is welcome!

Examples:
Some girls start self-deprecating after I tease them, saying "I know.. I'm just a basic bitch"
So I hug her and say "At least you're honest, you win some brownie points"
Is there a smoother way to handle this?

Also, when a girl says "Fuck you!" playfully, I respond by "Fuck me? Well you're gonna have to buy me dinner first, I'm not that easy"
Any other ideas?

In general, when a girl teases you with a playful insult, is it better to double down on it? Or to comment on her being naughty, feisty etc...
Or tell her she'll get spanked if she keeps up the attitude? 

Finally, when she tells a lame joke, how do you usually tease her about it?

I'm fairly new to cold-approach and banter, but I'm having amazing results and so much fun with it, and I'm very excited to learn more ways to entertain my self in non-logical playful conversations with girls. It also feels like no one else talks this way to girls, so much so that most girls tend to be very receptive and enjoy it a lot as well, so it's a win-win for both of us!

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You have the right idea, now the next step is to pay attention when it doesn't work and picking up on when to move the conversation to a different mood. When banter falls off or doubling down loses it's effect, don't panic and apologize or you'll give her the idea that you're insecure and only hunting for good responses from her. Be cool and back off and give her the space she needs to feel how she wants. Subconsciously you're planting that you're grounded and good with whatever happens, so she'll feel safe with you.

If they are self-deprecating you can also bring yourself down to their level as well, and make fun of yourselves that way. Show that you're not taking things seriously.


I'm not an alarmist..... but someone should break the glass. And pull that red T-lever down!

To get their attention, start lobbing the Light Grenades that burst and blind them with the truth!

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth!

 

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@Fadious

The bigger thing I see here is that you’re implicitly assuming there’s one “right answer” to what you’re asking. Like a math question. But the reality is that human interaction is way more complex and chaotic than that.

Sometimes you should tease. Sometimes you shouldn’t. Sometimes you should double down. Sometimes you shouldn’t. Sometimes what you do goes well. And sometimes it doesn’t.

Of course if you’re new to game, then these kind of questions are natural. You’re trying to learn and I’m not really being helpful by just saying “there’s no answer”. When you’re new, you want an answer to grab onto. You want/need clear instructions on what to do. And that can be helpful. But it’s also limiting and not real life.

Next time you’re out, see instead if you can “feel” into what the right answer will be in any given situation. You will be wrong sometimes. Contemplate about it afterwards.

If you can develop that inner radar, you won’t need to post on forums or ask dating gurus about what to do any longer. Use these tools if you want temporarily, but also keep in the back of your mind that you are going to outgrow them. Make us obsolete. If any dating guru you have is not doing that, you have a false guru.


Offerings: akourakin.com

 

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You are on the right track! Just have fun.

Have the overall assumption that whatever you say is smooth/good.

I would take most of these as a strong indicator that the girl is interested.

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If anything gets awkward, don't show that awkwardness. 

Learn to play off awkwardness. 

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3 hours ago, Fadious said:

Some girls start self-deprecating after I tease them, saying "I know.. I'm just a basic bitch"

So I hug her and say "At least you're honest, you win some brownie points"
Is there a smoother way to handle this?

That's pretty good.

Or something like, "Don't sell yourself short. You're an extraordinary bitch."

Quote

Also, when a girl says "Fuck you!" playfully, I respond by "Fuck me? Well You're gonna have to buy me dinner first, I'm not that easy"
Any other ideas?

That's great.

Quote

In general, when a girl teases you with a playful insult, is it better to double down on it? Or to comment on her being naughty, feisty etc...
Or tell her she'll get spanked if she keeps up the attitude? 

There are many ways to handle that. A good general way is you look at her real slow, with a suspicious look and tell her: "I see you're a troublemaker... I'm gonna have to keep my eye on you." And then shake your head with a slight cheeky smile.

Quote

Finally, when she tells a lame joke, how do you usually tease her about it?

"You're such a dork."

or

"They took you to school in the short bus, didn't they?"

or just roll your eyes up at her.

When a girl a being stupid, sometimes the best thing is just to say nothing and give her "the look".


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:
Quote

Finally, when she tells a lame joke, how do you usually tease her about it?

"You're such a dork."

or

"They took you to school in the short bus, didn't they?"

or just roll your eyes up at her.

When a girl a being stupid, sometimes the best thing is just to say nothing and give her "the look".

When all her friends come over: "Hey I didn't know the circus was in town!"

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

"They took you to school in the short bus, didn't they?"

This one kills mexD

We should start a thread of witty lines and jokes so that people can pick and choose ones that they like to build up a collection of witty lines like you talked about in your how to get laid pt 3 video


"We are born of Love, Love is our mother" - Rumi

My YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9vkQMt-MlvK9Xvnf-Ji

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@Roy
Thanks, I will keep that in mind. Staying grounded is important.
It's true, I should be okay with whatever reaction she gives me. I'm not her clown or dancing monkey, I'm doing it to have fun and connect.

@aurum
I agree with you. I realize there's way more to human interaction than that, the same line may have a completely different effect for different people or even the same person depending on many factors. However, while I'm having these reference experiences, I'm noticing some recurrent themes in conversations, and I'm just looking at different angles I can have fun and experiment with the next time they come up.

I was actually going to start a thread asking about how to make the most out of each approach/interaction. I like your idea of replaying what didn't go so well and contemplating over it. It's still enjoyable to post on the forum and share experiences though :) 

@Leo Gura
Haha can't wait to play around with those next time!

@Tristan12
 

1 hour ago, Tristan12 said:

We should start a thread of witty lines and jokes so that people can pick and choose ones that they like to build up a collection of witty lines like you talked about in your how to get laid pt 3 video

Yes please! These lines are so much fun, I actually laughed out loud at Leo's "You're an extraordinary bitch"

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What I noticed about banter from people who are good at it:

  • Their "darts" are aimed at the other
  • They don't take anything personal and expect that from the other side
  • The whole spiel is to feel how much you can push the envelope to find the edges/borders of what is allowed to be said and what is not allowed to be said

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anyone got visual examples of good banter by any chance

i never banter (at least i think i dont). i dont understand the point of it lol

is it just to show you like each other?

Edited by Jacob Morres

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20 minutes ago, Jacob Morres said:

anyone got visual examples of good banter by any chance

i never banter (at least i think i dont). i dont understand the point of it lol

is it just to show you like each other?

Banter is just being playful. Being playful is not limited to humans. Animals do it too but obviously not verbally. Just imagine tiger cubs playing with each other. Humans do the same but they do it with words.

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