General Life Purpose Journal

[Thought Art]

Just lost 2 subscribers on my YouTube channel. Oh well lol

[Thought Art]

Addressing and working through our trauma and being honest about it, and actually healing is better than popularity. 
 

I will be myself warts and all.

YouTube is just for fun anyway.

Edited January 24, 2022 by Thought Art

[Thought Art]

For me right now what matters most:

1. Maintaining healthy finances and developing a greater savings

2. Paying down debts

3. Developing better mental health and self esteem and curing myself of the traumatic backlashes and suicidal thoughts I get from time to time

4. Deepening my Qigong and meditation practice 

5. Possibily finding a second job for the next year or two

Being easy on myself. Letting myself be where I am. 

[Thought Art]

 

[Thought Art]

I’m going to face the truth instead of cower away from it. 

[Thought Art]

I think I don’t care about views or subscribers but my own relationship with myself in putting out creative work. I will post at least 1 short a day for the rest of 2022. Let’s see where this goes. ?

Edited January 24, 2022 by Thought Art

[Thought Art]

 

[Thought Art]

Making a video about my contemplations of high quality decision making

[Thought Art]

I have the capacity for self deception, toxicity, cowardice, double mindedness, devilry. This is very important to note. I suggest I move very slowly with all things in my life because I am not as pure as I may believe I am. 
 

Today direct experience shows this. 
 

I am still immature, doubly minded and fragmented and instead of life purpose or success or coaching others I must instead work on myself. 
 

there is no one else to teach

[Thought Art]

let’s build a solid foundation before I do anything else.

1. Finances

2. Mental Health

3. Physical Health and Qi health

[Thought Art]

I love myself even though I am petty, weak and a devil sometimes. Who else will if I don't? I have to love what is.

Me an my ADHD brain. 

Edited January 25, 2022 by Thought Art

[Thought Art]

For some reason one of my 15 second shorts on youtube has exploded and has 600 views! Not sure whats going on but maybe the algorithm is starting to like me. 

[Thought Art]

Going to contemplate healthy conflict resolution. 

I have difficult neighbours upstairs who just screamed at me through a door for leaving a note. This resulted in a shouting match.

I want to find a way of being truly powerful in those situations. No hurling insults, not physical posturing, not getting emotionally triggered.

At the same time I am not a fucking push over or people pleaser and if you gonna scream at me for making reasonable request your asking for a conflict. I am not gonna live somewhere and pay rent and allow you to speak to me that way.

Time for contemplation. 

 

[Thought Art]

We all feel the itch if shenpa. The trick is not to scratch it 

[Thought Art]

I will get a book to study conflict resolution as well the the philosophy of law