I really think the quickest way to raise yourself out of whatever pit you're in is to just align yourself with whatever you think is the most important thing to do and give yourself to it and surrender the resistance from a self that would rather masterbathe smoke weed and play the Sims. If you only wait around for a spark of inspiration while needlessly suffering a meaningless life you aren't on the right page, I don't think you can find your purpose through thought, it just comes to you. If you are deeply suffering you are not seeking purpose but relief, and when time comes to do the right thing or attach to relief you will attach to relief, so just take care of yourself first before you go doing anything. Get financially independant and fulfill your emotional needs. It will strangle you if you don't. The possibility to be entangeled by your emotional needs and egoic triggers like ambition will completely cloud your clarity to your purpose. But I guess I would just ask myself the question: What is wrong with world? And work from that point onwards.  Those are just my thoughts from where I was at a year ago and now trying to find purpose and understanding, entering my dark night and feeling alive again. I just made a yt vid bout that if you wanna check it out.