What's the best way to ask a girl out on a date?

[7thLetter]

Do you tell her something like, "we should grab coffee/drinks sometime"

or could you and should you straight up just ask her "will you go on a date with me?"

Is it better to assume & tell the girl or is it okay to ask? Obviously it depends on the situation but generally speaking

[Roy]

I wouldn't and personally never use the word "date". It comes off as kind of sterile and mechanical, which girls don't seem to like. There is something about it that is too formal, where early on you want to keep things casual and leave a bit of mystery in her mind (does he want to date me and go places with me?!). Of course you both know what is going on, but it's leaving the language implicit and unspoken that helps build attraction. Saying, "will you go on a date with me?" is more direct and puts more pressure on them, which can lead them to say no.

I usually say something like, "You seem like a lot of fun, we should go for a hike/get a bite to eat sometime."

Occasionally they respond back "Are you asking me on a date?", where you can reply playfully or tease them > "I guess I am, you caught me!"

I wouldn't just assume you can ask. I mean you can technically ask anyone out, but if you don't have a small conversation to learn each others names first and at least make her smile or laugh before asking you're gonna get rejected a lot. If you don't do those first most girls will think, "Oh this guy just wants to fuck me, he doesn't really want to know me."

Build up some sort of connection.

[7thLetter]

@Roy I ask because sometimes they might think you're just trying to be friends with them if you ask them out for drinks without first showing sexual intent in conversation. And if that's the case they'll most likely deny the request because they probably aren't looking for guy best friends.

The question here basically is how would they know what you want if you don't tell them it's a date. But I guess it's up to you as the guy to show intent and build attraction within' the conversation, leading up to the "We should grab drinks sometime."

[Roy]

You can, but you don't need to express sexual intent to ask someone on a date. Women aren't stupid, they know if you're asking them out to go do something one-on-one what your intent is lol. When you're ON that date is when you'll better chances and more opportunities to express sexual intent.

Let's just say it's more suiting to show it after you're on a walk together in a park, rather than in a line at a grocery store.

[7thLetter]

@Roy Yeah but wouldn’t you think it’s a waste of time for a girl who’s looking to date who goes out for drinks with a guy and the guy after hanging out with her is just like, “I just wanna be friends” or “I’m secretly gay.” Lol she wouldn’t have known that. Not all guys talk to girls just to have sex with her or have the intention of pursuing a romantic relationship with her.

I’ve had a couple female friends in the past who were sexually or romantically interested in me, they probably thought I felt the same way about them but all I wanted to do was hang out.
I imagine they might’ve felt that they wasted their time hanging out and talking with me cause I only saw them as friends.

 

 

[Roy]

It's your job as the guy to be assertive with a woman and make intentions clear. You either come onto her because you want her, or you don't and tell her early on you're just looking for a friend.

They probably felt you wasted their time because you didn't make it clear to them early enough, so they might have thought you were just too shy to show intent that quick, so they kept giving you time to make a move confused to why you haven't.

Good communication is clear communication.

 

 

[Terell Kirby]

Easy: “I’d love to hang out, when are you free to get together?”

[gettoefl]

how about we get coffee and chat sometime?

how about tuesday evening ... is that good for you?

 

[Leo Gura]

"You're kinda hot/cute. Let's grab a drink. I know a good place. What days are you free this week? How about Tues at 8pm?"

Don't just suggest a vague "sometime". You need to grill her in-person on her schedule and set a concrete day and time that works for her. This will triple your results.

Don't call it a "date".

[Regan]

@7thLetter 

this post is obviously very context dependant and I wouldn't get too attached to any one way. but if you're in a conversation and there's chemistry then you could just say ''Do you wanna get together sometime?'' or ''can I get your number?'' - if you do get her number then don't text for 3/4 days, then make a date with a definite day/time/place and then leave it at that.

11 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

"You're kinda hot/cute. Let's grab a drink. I know a good place. What days are you free this week? How about Tues at 8pm?"

I find ''what evenings are you free?'' to work better as if they're not free on the day you suggest, then it can seem like you're too available

[mrPixel]

I personally like to be direct and subtle. I'll say, "Are you single? I'd like to take you out sometime." There are also times when I find myself with a girl and I haven't expressed my intention and I'll just say, "Do you just want to be friends, or do you want something more with me?" The key is to be honest and direct without being creepy. Look them in the eye, speak clearly and confidently, and don't waiver. Avoid the friend-zone at all cost.

I highly suggest that you read the book Models by Mark Manson. That will put you on the right track.

[hamedsf]

Never mention the date, relationship, sex or something like that in your conversation, even she wants you to be undirect about all of those.

so making a statement about you going out together would be just fine. 

If she says that she's busy or something like that, it's bullshit and excuse BUT if she makes a counter-offer like: I'm busy today but can we meet on Thursday? it means that she's right about being busy but she wants to meet you at the same time.