Illusory Self

Daygame infield session

13 posts in this topic

I went out today for a few hours to practice some day game infield & here is a summary of how my day went. Previously I did a post of me saying hi to 100 different strangers which caused some minor anxiety in me. Today I told myself I am going to approach girls & simply say to them "hey hows it going". Surprisingly the first girl I said that to was immediatly receptive to me & started asking questions about how my day was ect.. We were talking for a few minutes, there was a lot of anxiety in me at the time so it did not really feel that much of a fluent conversation but at the end I just decided to say "we should go get drinks sometime" & she just gave me her number so I will text her later. 

Here is what what went well: I had a fluent 40 minute conversation with my hairdresser today, approached 2 random guys sitting on a bench at the beach and had around a 30 minute conversation with them, they were around my age. Approached 11 women. I said hi to 36 strangers, but saying hi does not really seem to provoke any anxiety in me anymore so I felt like it was a waste of my time to do that. Another great thing I have been practicing, is whenever I am out in public I maintain eye contact with everyone, forcing them to break it off with me. It seems to be improvining my confidence, instead of just looking at the ground, at my feet the whole time.  

 

Here is what did not go so well: I found a majority of the women I approached just blanked me, they were just plugged in with their earphones & would walk past me. some of them did not even have earphones in but I would say hey hows it going & they would just walk past me looking disinterested, I did not know if I was trying hard enough. Maybe I should walk alongside them in the future. One crucial thing I learnt today though that I would bring up in the conversation is that I could tell the girls were so happy that I gave them a compliment of calling them cute, even if they rejected you by having a boyfriend ect... I would just say "I thought you looked really cute so I had to approach you" after they said they had a boyfriend & they seemed really happy by that.

Probably the worst thing that happened I think is the 3 or 4 girls who seemed initially interested in me, I would blow it because after the hows it going, I could not think of anything to sau so I would resort to just saying what have you been up to ect.. You know when your mind gets totally blanked out.. I think my main hurdle will be knowing how to keep the convo going initially untill I reach hook point. I could tell some of the girls were attracted to me but my poor verbals just ruined it. I know they could sense the awkwardness & that is why they just said have a nice day and left. 

Other than that I am happy with how my day went because I grew in some way, the girls negative reactions I found did not really affect my self worth as a man which I am happy about. I just wanted to know what should I do to try & overcome of saying the same things after the approach, almost like my mind has a robotic script in it. I can't seem to enjoy the interaction. I'm like wtf do I talk about to a complete stranger who is an attractive women?! Maintaining the convo is defo going to be the hardest for me I think since most girls expect you to lead the convo.

Going to attempt to go out Fri & Sat night this week, hopefully it will go well 

 

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Very good progress!

One tip for the approach.

You want to get her full attention!

The best way is when she is moving away from you, you walk beside her, then go a little forward, turn around and THEN start talking to her. If you continue walking (you can also stop) you stay a bit ahead and lead her.

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Your on a good path building, that foundation of just being able to approach people is a great skill to build, just something to keep in mind don't take the girls who ignore you too serious, being approached by a stranger can surprise most people and their first response is usually to disengage, theres no issue with that, never take these personal as the other person could just be having a day or is in a slump weave all been there.

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@Illusory Self

This sounds all really good, you're crushing it! It's much more important that you take action than what exact results you get, so congratulate yourself, this is a success.

Regarding the keeping the convo going part it can be tricky for sure, especially if anxiety is present too.

But I think a few things are possible:

- after the opener you can follow up with an assumption or observation, something you can notice about her or what you can conclude from her appearance like "you look really studentish, I would say you're a student of psychology" or "you look like a creative person, I'd assume you study arts or something like that"

This is more interesting because it's relevant for a person how other people perceive them.

- if the first reaction was good it's also a good follow up to introduce yourself and ask for her name, like this a few seconds pass and you have escalated things a tiny bit (from stranger/stranger to potential acquaintances), only do this if the first reaction was not very reserved or a shit test

- if you don't know anything you can also ask her what she's doing or where she's heading etc to get in information that you can work with, but you can make that question sound more interesting by saying something like "So what's your story?!" or "what kinda mission you're on right now?"

- if you immediately want to add to the flirtation you could also follow up the opener with a tease about an observation like "[compliment opener] + you also look like trouble though...so I'm intrigued but also a little bit scared ;)" and work with what ever comes back after that

- if she tells you something unique like "I study mathematics" you can also tease about that like "ok, cool...so if we hang out would you constantly be talking about equations and telling me that I'm doing things inefficiently from a mathematical point of view and stuff like that?"

 

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24 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

@Illusory Self

This sounds all really good, you're crushing it! It's much more important that you take action than what exact results you get, so congratulate yourself, this is a success.

Regarding the keeping the convo going part it can be tricky for sure, especially if anxiety is present too.

But I think a few things are possible:

- after the opener you can follow up with an assumption or observation, something you can notice about her or what you can conclude from her appearance like "you look really studentish, I would say you're a student of psychology" or "you look like a creative person, I'd assume you study arts or something like that"

This is more interesting because it's relevant for a person how other people perceive them.

- if the first reaction was good it's also a good follow up to introduce yourself and ask for her name, like this a few seconds pass and you have escalated things a tiny bit (from stranger/stranger to potential acquaintances), only do this if the first reaction was not very reserved or a shit test

- if you don't know anything you can also ask her what she's doing or where she's heading etc to get in information that you can work with, but you can make that question sound more interesting by saying something like "So what's your story?!" or "what kinda mission you're on right now?"

- if you immediately want to add to the flirtation you could also follow up the opener with a tease about an observation like "[compliment opener] + you also look like trouble though...so I'm intrigued but also a little bit scared ;)" and work with what ever comes back after that

- if she tells you something unique like "I study mathematics" you can also tease about that like "ok, cool...so if we hang out would you constantly be talking about equations and telling me that I'm doing things inefficiently from a mathematical point of view and stuff like that?"

 

Ok thanks, I will try that!

Unfortunately right now, when anxiety is present my mind kind of just freezes so it is very hard to come up with these witty sayings, maybe I need to just do more approaches and try to learn from them or something. I think if you consciously learn from every interaction I will slowly get better. The beginning stages are the hardest because of my 0 socialization experience I have had in life

Edited by Illusory Self

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You did good.

Yes, keeping a convo going, and keeping it emotional vs logical is the core of game skills. It's not easy to learn that. Takes massive practice.

Also, when you approach a walking girl, you have to approach very assertively, forcing her to stop and commanding her attention. No meek, half-assed, gay approaches. Stop her like you are the police. And be clear about your intent.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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4 hours ago, Illusory Self said:

I went out today for a few hours to practice some day game infield & here is a summary of how my day went. Previously I did a post of me saying hi to 100 different strangers which caused some minor anxiety in me. Today I told myself I am going to approach girls & simply say to them "hey hows it going". Surprisingly the first girl I said that to was immediatly receptive to me & started asking questions about how my day was ect.. We were talking for a few minutes, there was a lot of anxiety in me at the time so it did not really feel that much of a fluent conversation but at the end I just decided to say "we should go get drinks sometime" & she just gave me her number so I will text her later. 

Here is what what went well: I had a fluent 40 minute conversation with my hairdresser today, approached 2 random guys sitting on a bench at the beach and had around a 30 minute conversation with them, they were around my age. Approached 11 women. I said hi to 36 strangers, but saying hi does not really seem to provoke any anxiety in me anymore so I felt like it was a waste of my time to do that. Another great thing I have been practicing, is whenever I am out in public I maintain eye contact with everyone, forcing them to break it off with me. It seems to be improvining my confidence, instead of just looking at the ground, at my feet the whole time.  

 

Here is what did not go so well: I found a majority of the women I approached just blanked me, they were just plugged in with their earphones & would walk past me. some of them did not even have earphones in but I would say hey hows it going & they would just walk past me looking disinterested, I did not know if I was trying hard enough. Maybe I should walk alongside them in the future. One crucial thing I learnt today though that I would bring up in the conversation is that I could tell the girls were so happy that I gave them a compliment of calling them cute, even if they rejected you by having a boyfriend ect... I would just say "I thought you looked really cute so I had to approach you" after they said they had a boyfriend & they seemed really happy by that.

Probably the worst thing that happened I think is the 3 or 4 girls who seemed initially interested in me, I would blow it because after the hows it going, I could not think of anything to sau so I would resort to just saying what have you been up to ect.. You know when your mind gets totally blanked out.. I think my main hurdle will be knowing how to keep the convo going initially untill I reach hook point. I could tell some of the girls were attracted to me but my poor verbals just ruined it. I know they could sense the awkwardness & that is why they just said have a nice day and left. 

Other than that I am happy with how my day went because I grew in some way, the girls negative reactions I found did not really affect my self worth as a man which I am happy about. I just wanted to know what should I do to try & overcome of saying the same things after the approach, almost like my mind has a robotic script in it. I can't seem to enjoy the interaction. I'm like wtf do I talk about to a complete stranger who is an attractive women?! Maintaining the convo is defo going to be the hardest for me I think since most girls expect you to lead the convo.

Going to attempt to go out Fri & Sat night this week, hopefully it will go well 

 

inspiring! Keep us updated!

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2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Stop her like you are the police. 

Analogies like that are just gold. 

Another one that helped me with voice tonality is speaking as if im the president ( to nail that assertive tone) 

Looking forward to more of these


Certified lazy skeptic and armchair philosopher.

💊🕢 1 Year Heavy Metal Detox Challenge Journal ☢🧠

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6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

No meek, half-assed, gay approached. Stop her like you are the police. 

Damn, you nailed it so well

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You are an inspiration man. Keep it up. I am jealous now. 

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Woah well you pumped or something like that if you are able to keep up those high numbers for some time your progress will be ridiculously high.  Truly remarkable if its true. Thanks for sharing


All an imagination baby --

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On 13.1.2022 at 8:20 PM, Illusory Self said:

Unfortunately right now, when anxiety is present my mind kind of just freezes so it is very hard to come up with these witty sayings, 

That's totally normal and it's also ok in the beginning if you a have some canned things that you can throw in in a lot of these situations so you don't have to be so damn clever and creative in this moment of pressure, and btw most good pick up guys have things they say very regularly too, just with minor adjustments to fit the specific situation a bit better.

Quote

maybe I need to just do more approaches and try to learn from them or something. I think if you consciously learn from every interaction I will slowly get better.

Exactly, that's all you need, like this you will reduce anxiety and increase your competence and both things contribute to each other.

Quote

The beginning stages are the hardest because of my 0 socialization experience I have had in life

For having had 0 socialization you're doing really well, just keep going.

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Hey, I am really interested. Do you go solo or with a friend?

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