Yoremo

Advice for changing my mind

18 posts in this topic

Hi! So I know now that the most important on this self help journey is to change my mind. Like changing my beliefs, past conditioning, self-image and perspectives about everything. While I think this is correct I do not know how to make these changes, do I do meditation, contemplation, self-inquiry, affirmations, visualizations, journaling, shadow work? and I guess it is dependent a bit on the situation and so on, so could anyone help me with sifting through this? Like with what I can do and what resources I can use and so forth.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HY9aw5cQRDQ

It's good that you already have an opening for change, recognize that this willingness itself is courage. Change can happen either when you get fed up with the problems you keep running into and so you start questioning, or actively seeking this out because growing and learning is part of your nature. It can be deterred by fear because change can alter your entire practical reality as you're currently living. It can change your survival strategy, your relationships, etc. All of which is a threat to the ego. I guess pick what you're willing/wanting to change and focus on that. Find allies and leaders who have traveled through that journey. 

Edited by puporing

"We're all born naked and the rest is drag." - RuPaul

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Yes, change is important. And all those things you mentioned are important. But but it can feel very overwhelming, all the techniques and all the ways you can improve yourself.

Just take it easy, for one...

And for two, I will say what worked for me:

- 80/20 rule : what of those things you feel like would benefit you the most? for the past years, for me the most impactful was journaling, contemplation and psychedelics ( so what does this mean in reality: I think a lot, then gather my thoughts linearly through writing. Sometimes I do shrooms and I write my insights)

- just do it : just change something and see the effect and than change something again and so on... sort of scientific approach 

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"meditation, contemplation, self-inquiry, affirmations, visualizations, journaling, shadow work"

none of those things will change you in the sense if you have a belief system you cannot just approach a girl and get her pussy because 'i am too x (weird, ugly, scared, unworthy) - you confront the belief system by approaching her. the belief arises as a deep fear, like you might literally die if you do that but you completely sink into that fear. thats how u change. bcus none of that shit can bypass these kinds of belief systems 

just think like that and try to map things - radically confront  your own rationality to how you feel instead of trying to fix or get rid of how you feel before you take an action

completely accept the obstacles to dissolving belief systems which is a fear as if it were you and you are reuniting with a part of yourself lost to conditioning by embracing it and unconditionally allowing it to surface - it is shadow work in a way, in that example at least


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2 hours ago, Yoremo said:

Hi! So I know now that the most important on this self help journey is to change my mind. Like changing my beliefs, past conditioning, self-image and perspectives about everything. While I think this is correct I do not know how to make these changes, do I do meditation, contemplation, self-inquiry, affirmations, visualizations, journaling, shadow work? and I guess it is dependent a bit on the situation and so on, so could anyone help me with sifting through this? Like with what I can do and what resources I can use and so forth.

What things are you struggling with and what do you want to achieve? I like to use the revealing/releasing process which when people heal, they all use this, consciously or unconsciously. It is related to letting go David Hawkins, Lester levensons work, the fearless man on YouTube, his emotional embodiment courses are powerful as well. Sedona method, etc. The techniques you mentioned can be powerful as well, but you have to work on getting more in touch with your body, not your mind. Releasing happens from the body and feeling into parts you are suppressing.

If you are not moving towards your goals rapidly, you are not vibrating emotionally at the right frequency. If you live in CAP (Courage, acceptance, peace), all of it comes easy.

Study deeply how releasing works. And if all of that is not working out for you, it is because probably you are trying to do it from your head which does not work. Releasing is 100% body. 

For example, here is a video where the guy is releasing and processing his emotions. He experiences shame and fear related to talking to women. The instructor in the video talks him through the process of feeling into his body, locating the held feelings and then letting them go through the body. You can see him escaping to his head, analyzing and trying to release from his mind, which the instructor observes and then tries to make the guy aware of it. It takes a while to get an intuitive understanding of this process, but the video below is a good start. He has very good courses that are definitely worth it. And if you still don't understand it, he has workshops which cost 4k for a weekend, but they are worth it and bring immense value and understanding to your life. A weekend there can feel like years of self development and sometimes even decades.

The proces in the video is about negative subconscious patterns related to self esteem and how that relates to attracting women, but this proces applies in every area you feel stuck. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbVFVaqAlFA

 

 

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Edited by JonasVE12

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It's a mix of everything. You cannot just change your mind.

For example, if you eat well, sleep well, you will automatically feel better and you will move without much hesitation. You must also have faith.

Edited by hyruga

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On 2022-01-12 at 8:52 PM, catcat69123 said:

"meditation, contemplation, self-inquiry, affirmations, visualizations, journaling, shadow work"

none of those things will change you in the sense if you have a belief system you cannot just approach a girl and get her pussy because 'i am too x (weird, ugly, scared, unworthy) - you confront the belief system by approaching her. the belief arises as a deep fear, like you might literally die if you do that but you completely sink into that fear. thats how u change. bcus none of that shit can bypass these kinds of belief systems 

just think like that and try to map things - radically confront  your own rationality to how you feel instead of trying to fix or get rid of how you feel before you take an action

completely accept the obstacles to dissolving belief systems which is a fear as if it were you and you are reuniting with a part of yourself lost to conditioning by embracing it and unconditionally allowing it to surface - it is shadow work in a way, in that example at least

@catcat69123had a bit difficulty understanding, so challenging myself and feeling and confronting my emotions that come up during these challenges?

Edited by Yoremo

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On 2022-01-12 at 9:38 PM, JonasVE12 said:

What things are you struggling with and what do you want to achieve? I like to use the revealing/releasing process which when people heal, they all use this, consciously or unconsciously. It is related to letting go David Hawkins, Lester levensons work, the fearless man on YouTube, his emotional embodiment courses are powerful as well. Sedona method, etc. The techniques you mentioned can be powerful as well, but you have to work on getting more in touch with your body, not your mind. Releasing happens from the body and feeling into parts you are suppressing.

If you are not moving towards your goals rapidly, you are not vibrating emotionally at the right frequency. If you live in CAP (Courage, acceptance, peace), all of it comes easy.

Study deeply how releasing works. And if all of that is not working out for you, it is because probably you are trying to do it from your head which does not work. Releasing is 100% body. 

For example, here is a video where the guy is releasing and processing his emotions. He experiences shame and fear related to talking to women. The instructor in the video talks him through the process of feeling into his body, locating the held feelings and then letting them go through the body. You can see him escaping to his head, analyzing and trying to release from his mind, which the instructor observes and then tries to make the guy aware of it. It takes a while to get an intuitive understanding of this process, but the video below is a good start. He has very good courses that are definitely worth it. And if you still don't understand it, he has workshops which cost 4k for a weekend, but they are worth it and bring immense value and understanding to your life. A weekend there can feel like years of self development and sometimes even decades.

The proces in the video is about negative subconscious patterns related to self esteem and how that relates to attracting women, but this proces applies in every area you feel stuck. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbVFVaqAlFA

I have started to do the sedona method a bit the past weeks and basically just allowing myself to feel the emotions and accepting them inside and relaxing my body and all of that, is that correct?

I am struggling with my emotions, they get very negative because of beliefs I have about success, happiness, relationships etc. coming from my parents (I see it so clearly, especially because I have not met a lot of other people so my parents had the opporunity to influence me a lot). And I have always had a difficult time getting rid of these emotions and beliefs. For an example I tried to get rid of the negative emotions felt because I was afraid of getting judged by other people and I tried this by reciting affirmations and it worked, but the feelings came back as soon as I stopped the affirmations. So if you still think the things you mentioned would work, could you help me to explain a bit more about the revealing/releasing process?

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6 hours ago, Yoremo said:

I have started to do the sedona method a bit the past weeks and basically just allowing myself to feel the emotions and accepting them inside and relaxing my body and all of that, is that correct?

I am struggling with my emotions, they get very negative because of beliefs I have about success, happiness, relationships etc. coming from my parents (I see it so clearly, especially because I have not met a lot of other people so my parents had the opporunity to influence me a lot). And I have always had a difficult time getting rid of these emotions and beliefs. For an example I tried to get rid of the negative emotions felt because I was afraid of getting judged by other people and I tried this by reciting affirmations and it worked, but the feelings came back as soon as I stopped the affirmations. So if you still think the things you mentioned would work, could you help me to explain a bit more about the revealing/releasing process?

And did it make you feel lighter? Did it release any emotional tension from your body? If you do it right and you have a release, your body instantly feels lighter and this gets accompanied by more positive thinking which slowly builds more positive belief if you do this daily and put much of your focus on it. You ask me if what you are doing is correct, but I can in no way tell what your consciousness is doing at that point. You might be trying to release from the mind/head through analyzing and thinking about it. This is typical when too much in wanting/forcing energy instead of just relaxing through the body and letting it come to you. A release has to be done through connecting with the body and letting your minds activity slow down to the point you have very little thoughts.

What can help prepare you for releasing work is to do some self hypnosis sessions. This can help you understand intuitively what it is like to be in a really relaxed suggestive state where you can release more effectively. Or do some group sessions of holotropic breathwork. They also get you into that same state that is needed for releasing work. Or do it solo. You can get in some very deep meditative states this way and get an experiential understanding of the depth of relaxation that is necessary for releasing work. This is vitally important. The mind needs to slow down and the body fully inhabited. 

Once you are in this state of consciousness. Full relaxation, little thoughts, fully here in the now, then you can do some releasing. What you do is slowly getting in touch with your energy centers in your body. Chakras if you will. You can call it whatever. Emotions are stored and experienced in the body, so we just use chakras as reference points to describe the areas where we just put our attention. If you can't locate your chakras, read some books about them or just do some research.

So, if you can locate them, finally you can do releasing. So you slowly get in touch with your energy centers/chakras and you start to feel into them. remember....feeling. No thinking about them. Slowly open them up with your ability to manipulate consciousness/energy in your body. We all have this ability, don't think about it. Feel your heart opening, feel you connecting with your self-love, with your courage, with your ability to love others, to forgive, to feel powerful, to feel peace, to feel here and now, to feel non judgmental. Feel that energy. It has a very distinct quality of openness and acceptance and allowance of the present moment as it is. When you feel the energy blockages coming up, allow them, accept them. And love them. Open your heart to all of what is. All is perfect. You are perfect. Can you feel this? Is your mind resisting this process? Welcome that. Are you resisting welcoming your resistance? Welcome that. Welcome all of you. Feel all of your energy centers opening. 

Experiment with grounding yourself into the earth. Feel that the earth is supporting you, allowing you and loving you. Feel the back of your legs, spine, arms and ground your tension into the earth. 

Some extra tips:

It is also important to get away from your center of comfort. Your house probably. Release outside of your home. Go to a park, sit there and feel the park, the people there, feel the nature. Go sit under a tree. Start the releasing proces. Feel that the trees supports you with grounding. They absorb your negative energy just like it absorbs CO2. Afterwards show it some love and appreciation ;) 

The most important tip in all of this is to do this daily for months and you won't believe who you have become after you have done this process long enough. You won't even remember how you felt because the old patterns have removed completely from your consciousness.

Realize that this process takes time to unfold. The first times, the mind will probably be thinking a lot and analyzing. That is normal. Frustration can come, welcome that. After a while, your inner guidance will be strong enough for you to recognize what you should do. Do the things suggested above, seek the relaxation, the quietness and then release. 

Now I will tell you something about my personal releasing journey. I had a lot of shame in being myself. In expressing myself towards others, I was painfully shy and shameful when I had to show myself to others. I felt embarrassed everywhere I went. I even felt embarrassed at home and was in a permanent state of cringe. I could not stand the way I was. Crippling shame. Couldn't go anywhere. Felt defective and flawed. Very lonely and isolated. And I had this for when I was getting into highschool. 

After discovering the self-help world, I finally found some hope to change, did lots of stuff, psychedelics, meditation, intellectual spirituality, reading, affirmations, detox, diet, therapy, exercise, yoga and nothing seemed to get to the root of my problems.

Then finally I began to understand more holistically what beliefs are, what emotions are, what attracts certain experiences, what is energy, what is our body, what is consciousness, free will, thoughts, how we can manipulate our reality using our mind and body. This holistic understanding through studying all different modalities and techniques is what helps you form that understanding of how all these things interconnect. 

Releasing came forth from that understanding. First I released at home. I made a lot of progress this way. I got out of apathy thanks to that. Apathy is basically the heaviest energy that makes it so you procrastinate, analyze constantly and keeps you stuck. Then I released outside in parks, slowly faced my shame and fear of people. Then what I did is triggering all the shame and fear in my chakras when really confronting all of it through approaching people and just expressing without filter. I then released in those moments, never making it about how I felt, how they felt, just how all of it was how it was, and loving all of that through the body. I went to strangers to release while talking to them. Feeling the earth beneath me, feeling the back of my legs, back, arms and feeling that I was grounded and supported. This is a really powerful form of releasing. You seek your resistance to feeling certain emotions, you step into them, and you ground them through the earth and then lastly, you feel your heart opening to yourself, the other person, the environment and everything else. The whole universe loves you is felt through the heart at that point. It felt great. 

I also did some psychedelics, moderate dose of 150ug I believe and then approached people. This has helped me connect with my ability to release and accept in order for big releases to happen in the future without psychedelics. That said, it is not neccessary but it can help. You can do this fully sober. Psychedelics can align you to the right state of consciousness, but then you will need guidance from someone who understands this process because otherwise it can also set you back and get you in loops that won't help you and can even damage you further. But also that can be put in perspective. 

Anyways, you can apply this process with all kinds of things you feel emotional resistance to. With all your goals, it is the same process, just a different context. There is a lot more to be said and a lot more nuance to this process but it would require a whole book to be written. I suggest you read David Hawkins letting go, The work of Lester levenson, you can buy the revealing/releasing product from the website of 'the fearless man' which also has a YouTube channel. That channel is mainly about attracting women, but it is a lot more than that. I found that product to be everything that you need to set you up for succes in this process of releasing. The books are also good but might also just be more confusing as it goes into the mind and rarely has an energetic impact. The releasing product of the fearless man is more in depth. I never buy products in my life because most of them are shallow, but this is really something different. I also encourage you to go to workshops, intensives, retreats that will slowly build that experiential understanding in you in order for you to build that interconnected hollistic insight into how to change your thinking, beliefs and emotions. Remember that everything you undertake in your life builds up. Where you focus on, the energy flows. The most valuable thing that I have learned is the 1% rule. If you can understand this rule and apply it to your life, you can change everything around. Things done change instantly. You don't instantly release all of your negative emotions and thoughts. It is not like, okay, I am going to release for an hour and afterward everything is going to be okay. No, You keep doing it for an hour everyday. For 2 hours even. And you combine that will all kinds of other things such as doing the workshops, doing the exploration and all of it will compound over time. It is like a snowball rolling down the mountain. 

 

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On 2022-01-16 at 1:42 AM, JonasVE12 said:

Once you are in this state of consciousness. Full relaxation, little thoughts, fully here in the now, then you can do some releasing. What you do is slowly getting in touch with your energy centers in your body. Chakras if you will. You can call it whatever. Emotions are stored and experienced in the body, so we just use chakras as reference points to describe the areas where we just put our attention. If you can't locate your chakras, read some books about them or just do some research.

@JonasVE12Any good resource on chakras?

On 2022-01-16 at 1:42 AM, JonasVE12 said:

Then I released outside in parks, slowly faced my shame and fear of people. Then what I did is triggering all the shame and fear in my chakras when really confronting all of it through approaching people and just expressing without filter. I then released in those moments, never making it about how I felt, how they felt, just how all of it was how it was, and loving all of that through the body. I went to strangers to release while talking to them. Feeling the earth beneath me, feeling the back of my legs, back, arms and feeling that I was grounded and supported. This is a really powerful form of releasing. You seek your resistance to feeling certain emotions, you step into them, and you ground them through the earth and then lastly, you feel your heart opening to yourself, the other person, the environment and everything else. The whole universe loves you is felt through the heart at that point. It felt great. 

But relaxing when approaching people like this how does that look or is it just relaxing into the emotions no matter how intense they are? because I find it hard to see how I can relax in that situation

 

On 2022-01-16 at 1:42 AM, JonasVE12 said:

Then finally I began to understand more holistically what beliefs are, what emotions are, what attracts certain experiences, what is energy, what is our body, what is consciousness, free will, thoughts, how we can manipulate our reality using our mind and body. This holistic understanding through studying all different modalities and techniques is what helps you form that understanding of how all these things interconnect. 

I am also trying to understand the things you stated above. Do you have any good books or something I can check into? I want to have an ongoing research while I am taking action so that I can get a more holistic understanding of this.

 

On 2022-01-16 at 1:42 AM, JonasVE12 said:

Anyways, you can apply this process with all kinds of things you feel emotional resistance to. With all your goals, it is the same process, just a different context. There is a lot more to be said and a lot more nuance to this process but it would require a whole book to be written. I suggest you read David Hawkins letting go, The work of Lester levenson, you can buy the revealing/releasing product from the website of 'the fearless man' which also has a YouTube channel. That channel is mainly about attracting women, but it is a lot more than that. I found that product to be everything that you need to set you up for succes in this process of releasing. The books are also good but might also just be more confusing as it goes into the mind and rarely has an energetic impact. The releasing product of the fearless man is more in depth. I never buy products in my life because most of them are shallow, but this is really something different. I also encourage you to go to workshops, intensives, retreats that will slowly build that experiential understanding in you in order for you to build that interconnected hollistic insight into how to change your thinking, beliefs and emotions. Remember that everything you undertake in your life builds up. Where you focus on, the energy flows. The most valuable thing that I have learned is the 1% rule. If you can understand this rule and apply it to your life, you can change everything around. Things done change instantly. You don't instantly release all of your negative emotions and thoughts. It is not like, okay, I am going to release for an hour and afterward everything is going to be okay. No, You keep doing it for an hour everyday. For 2 hours even. And you combine that will all kinds of other things such as doing the workshops, doing the exploration and all of it will compound over time. It is like a snowball rolling down the mountain.

what book/s of lester levenson do you recommend? 

the product by the fearless man, is that "the ultimate dating collection"? Did it help you only with dating or with other releasing too? Maybe that ain´t for me now as I live in a small place and the cost of error is quite large (socially and I am not secure enough to take that atleast not now) but maybe that is the perfect situation to buy it?

the "1% rule" which you were talking about, is that in the book "the slight edge"?

 

Feel free to add anything else you think could be valuable. Your post was a bit daunting to go through but in the end releasing is pretty simple right?

 

Edit: I don´t know if you have heard of the emotional scale, which nahm speaks about. Does that tie into this in any way?

Edited by Yoremo

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It has to be gradual or you'll most likely have a strong ego backlash.

Like if you're a hardcore flat earther and want to change that, you can't just go watch a scientist explain how stupid flat earth theory is. Your brain will reject it and you'll go watch even more extreme stuff to justify your beliefs. Start off with someone in the middle who can present a balanced perspective and pros and cons, things that affirm what you believe to a degree to satiate your ego, while also planting just a hint of doubt to start moving you in the other direction.

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2 hours ago, Yoremo said:

@JonasVE12Any good resource on chakras?

what book/s of lester levenson do you recommend? 

the product by the fearless man, is that "the ultimate dating collection"? Did it help you only with dating or with other releasing too? Maybe that ain´t for me now as I live in a small place and the cost of error is quite large (socially and I am not secure enough to take that atleast not now) but maybe that is the perfect situation to buy it?

I am also trying to understand the things you stated above. Do you have any good books or something I can check into? I want to have an ongoing research while I am taking action so that I can get a more holistic understanding of this.
the "1% rule" which you were talking about, is that in the book "the slight edge"?

Look you do not need any product. All the things on chakras, releasing, healing, emotional scale, approaching, relaxing, feeling, letting go, 1% rule, self esteem, manifestation of goals, all of those things you can learn from the fearless man youtube channel. Watch all of their videos and you will not have any questions anymore. Watch his hour long livestreams that have been posted on his youtube channel. It is all about releasing and changing who you are at a core level. It is the most hollistic stuff I found yet and only that stuff has had a real impact. Trust me. All the teachings from david hawkins, lester levenson, 1% rule, chakras, embodiment stuff have been synthesized into what Brian from the fearless man is teaching. If you can accept this resource as the most valuable you have ever received and take it 100% serious, oh man, I am happy for you. If you are just reading over it and putting the resource on the bottom of your list together with all the other resources you have gathered, that would be unfortunate.  

2 hours ago, Yoremo said:

But relaxing when approaching people like this how does that look or is it just relaxing into the emotions no matter how intense they are? because I find it hard to see how I can relax in that situation

Isn't that the problem then? You are in apathy. That is an emotion that translates into the belief 'I can't'. Recognizing as such can help you move forward because it is just an emotion or thought like any other. You are underestimating your own capacity and power by not taking distance from your contracted identity. You are always going to think and behave in accordance to what you are feeling and resisting to feel. If you can let go and release the aversion of your own feelings, you will move forward. And then relaxation happens after you have let go of resisting to feel negative. Let go of not wanting to feel your negative feelings, to not wanting to feel your shame and fear and spill your love on all of the stuff when you finally come out of hiding. I can talk hours on releasing and growing but in the end, this forum isnt the correct medium to transfer it to you. Go to the fearless man youtube channel and make it a habit to daily watch that content. Do not watch content here and there from all different people. Watch one hollistic guy who resonates on a very deep level and go all out with his teachings. And dont back down when you dont understand it at first. Strive to deeply grasp that stuff and you will gain consciousness and strength to heal yourself. It will happen on its own. 

2 hours ago, Yoremo said:

 

Feel free to add anything else you think could be valuable. Your post was a bit daunting to go through but in the end releasing is pretty simple right?

It is as simple as changing your underwear. Speaking about underwear, have you done the exercise I asked you to try in the long post? Going outside in your underwear, feeling the resistance and then releasing by relaxing. We can talk days and years about releasing but that little exercise can give you more understanding than reading 100 books about releasing.

2 hours ago, Yoremo said:

Edit: I don´t know if you have heard of the emotional scale, which nahm speaks about. Does that tie into this in any way?

Yes. It is putting the emotional scale to practice instead of it just being a scale on a computer screen.

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Meditation and purifying the mind to be totally at midst with discomfort and pain through things like waking up early, rigorous exercise, strong determination sitting, cold showers, eating healthy, doing the work, walking the path. You'll find your body/mind naturally starts doing the things it most authentically values when it can have equanimity with discomfort. 

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machiavelli said, a leader has to care for his body and mind. To train the body go hunting. To train the mind, read biographies and history. Make sure to read those that match your profession. Machiavelli advised princes to read particularly the best leaders in history. 


Movie Scene of the Game: Crisis Core Director Lazard: By the way what is your dream, to become a first, is it? Zack: Nope. It's to become a Hero! Director Lazard: Is it so. Quite a sad dream but a good one nonetheless Zack: (sad)

My Instagram: 조상범 charlie (@charlie887)

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@JonasVE12 So you´d recommend just following his channel, watching him everyday and trying to understand it that way and not take up the books or anything?

It´s just I have done similar things like this, albeit not as intentional so maybe that will make it different this time. But I am scared that I am just going to end up watching his channel for a couple of months and then wake up again and discover "hey, I haven´t done nor developed shit". 

I just get so unsure about things and questioning whether I am doing it wrong or whatever (atleast in this period of my life). I don´t know how to approach it even after you narrowed it down for me, I am so afraid to look back in 2 years when I´m out of high school and just see that nothing fucking happened.

Edit: also he has like 600 videos so the narrowing down is not that narrow. I can sort some of them out but I would deeply appreciate if you could just guide me a bit, I just feel completely incapable tbh 

Edited by Yoremo

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7 hours ago, Yoremo said:

@JonasVE12 So you´d recommend just following his channel, watching him everyday and trying to understand it that way and not take up the books or anything?

It´s just I have done similar things like this, albeit not as intentional so maybe that will make it different this time. But I am scared that I am just going to end up watching his channel for a couple of months and then wake up again and discover "hey, I haven´t done nor developed shit". 

I just get so unsure about things and questioning whether I am doing it wrong or whatever (atleast in this period of my life). I don´t know how to approach it even after you narrowed it down for me, I am so afraid to look back in 2 years when I´m out of high school and just see that nothing fucking happened.

Edit: also he has like 600 videos so the narrowing down is not that narrow. I can sort some of them out but I would deeply appreciate if you could just guide me a bit, I just feel completely incapable tbh 

Yeah sure, you can pm me if you want. I can link you some good things to start with but I need to know what exactly it is that you want and feel like you are lacking right now. 

watch this 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySp0B4pGDj4

Edited by JonasVE12

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