Godishere

Consciousness, seeking and quality of life

20 posts in this topic

In your experience have you found that becoming more conscious or more Self-aware has improved your life? 

In my recent awakening all I wanted was to go back to sleep and back into the illusion of life? 

The more awake/conscious I've been, the universe seems to lose its wonder and mystery.. and everytime I do "awaken", I tell myself to stop seeking as I know it's just a game I'm playing on myself and I'd rather actually be "asleep" or ignorant.

I feel like I've seen enough to intuitively know that I'm everyone, everything and immortal but what now? What's the purpose of pursuing any further?

When there's no one else to awaken what's even the point. Seriously? 

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Posted (edited)

When you become lucid in a dream, you can still enjoy it and go along with its story while you're fully aware that it's not real. You can do the same here. All of this is your creation in the end, why not make the most out of it. There is nothing else to do for eternity anyway.

Edited by Tyler Durden

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@Tyler Durden exactly man. That's my point though. The seeking is the biggest illusion of it all. There's nothing to seek. It's just not the same when you know it's a fantasy! 😂

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Maybe it's time to stop believing (yes, it's still a belief)  that your belief is TrUTH as advocated by other seeker (just one, Leo, as no other human I'm history went to the grandiose claims of imagined reality, non duality is something different entirely), get out of the psychedelic rabbit hole in which you believe your subjective experience to be true and simply move in your life.

Your desire to seek, to affirm, to find out the truth, is what keeps you from it. 

You took acid a few times, influenced by Leo's grand awakenings, and you took them as gospel. Tell you what, hundreds of my patients at intensive psychiatric care think the same. They're utterly convinced that what they have experienced, what they know is true. Whilst their ImAgInEd families suffer in such extremes of pain, confusion and agony that even you, as gOd, couldn't imagine. 

The group following actualized.org dogma, I.e. you, @Tyler Durden that joined the forum a few months back, moderators, whatever, are high off their ego and the smell of their own farts. What they don't realize is that the TrUtH is entirely subjectuve, and you're trapping yourself in believing otherwise.

I advise exploring the MaTeRiAlIStiC neuroscientific view of psychedelics. With an open mind. I've been where you've been before, and the sense of futility and nihilism incoming I don't wish upon anyone. All the repressed psychology, emotions, they'll come back

You're not gOd. You're human, pretending to be whatever the duck you  imagine in the lens of subjective psychedelic annealing, deluded by a TeAcHeR that knows fuck all about what he's teaching, deluded in his own ignorance. 

The choice is yours. Move on, integrate and reflect on your own self psychology that led to the conclusion you currently own, and whatever reason that led to it, or stay here. 

Leo mistook the reflection of the stars in the pond for those in the sky. He will continue reaping the results until he wakes up from his narcissism, and realizes the majority of his audience form a group of impressionable, young, lost people that look for guidance.

In short, the good news, the gospel, is that you know fuck all and life is all ahead. 

The Truth is that there is no TrUtH

 

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honestly being more self aware turned my life to a mess but I can handle it (for now)

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@dearleo123 this has nothing to do with Leo my friend and honestly man, part of me wishes what you said was true. 

I think what your saying is good and we do need people like yourself; people who play an important part in keeping us drawn further into the illusion of life. It's actually quite cute and makes me chuckle how self deceived we can be as a society. However, psychedelics will reveal all of YOUR fictional beliefs and YOUR lies and deep down you know this. And yes, I'm not claiming to know "The Truth". If I did, I wouldn't be here talking about it would I. It's a paradox which either way you will realize on the day your physical body diminishes or the day you awaken and that's your choice. 

I'm not an unhappy person and my question was directed at people who have actually awoken. I'm not sure why you're on this forum if you think what's being said is nonsense! You seem to waste alot of time here! Time you will never get back, remember? 😉

 

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I've tried, you're replied in a highly condescending manner without a prior consideration of the argument. To answer your question of what's the point - because you're keeping yourself here. Why do I mention Leo - because most of this forums AwAkEnInGs are caused by his own life experiences heavily enforced to his audience. Just like McKennas insistence on reality of machine elves being the reason they are heavily encountered in an every day trip.

I'm on this forum because I used to have the same mindset as you lot, convinced of the infallibility of my own perception. Who says I haven't experienced an 'awakening'(god, the word alone makes me cringe).  Guess what, that's wrong too. I've been there, high on the clouds of condescencion, peace, sense of knowing. I've witnessed fuckton of my patients that have bee there and guess what again. This 'illusion'of life hurts others in your egotism, certainty of righteousness of your experience.

Yes, psyches reveal YOUR views. Full stop. No one else's, no objective truth about the universe, no grand awakening to Godhead. That in itself is an extrapolation of your own mind.

I do love how everyone here is an expert in archetypal and trandescental psychology with no prior education in the subject, other than Grand Master Leo, self subjective experiences and own research which equates to a random Joe screwing he won't get the vaccine because he did his own ReSeArCh.

I sense no desire to meet halfway in this discussion from your side. That's your issue, your sense of being convinced of being right. You'll remain miserable, and what you're feeling now will only escalate to some serious mental health issues unless you continue to spiritually bypass the HUMAN issues that originated to begin with. I've been where you are, and I know the only thing that will kick you out of your delusion is a serious cosmic slap from Life.

This is why you don't take acid with no previous framework, kids. This is why Huxley was extremely against anyone but the top scientists, religious leaders and people with years of psychological experience taking them.

Now we have unstable adolescents and peeps with shitty life experience taking them

 You think you know something I don't, but I wholeheartedly advise you to consider the alternative. That's the only way out of your nihilistic mess. All in all, I feel sorry for you. Because your psyche knows the way our (part of you wishes it to be true, eh) but you're so stuck in your psychological mindset that it simply won't  turn. And feck me, this is after a few acid trips alone. That's the reasons psyches should remain illegal unless in a therapeutic, integrated framework. 

Don't worry, you'll wake up for your dream into the actual reality soon. Mental repression, default mode manipulation and delusional projection will do that to you. Continue spreading the dogmatic belief system in the meantime, there's a nice topic on spiritual bypass on the forum that touches just the topic

All you did is take some acid bro, it's not that deep

 

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20 hours ago, Godishere said:

I feel like I've seen enough to intuitively know that I'm everyone, everything and immortal but what now? What's the purpose of pursuing any further?

This seems really conceptual. You’ve seen enough to intuitively know? Conceptually intuiting these things is distinct from directly experiencing them. For the ego mind, yes these “insights” will feel dark and scary. But when their actuality is realized, there is no ego to interpret the realizations as dark or scary. Therefore, the possibility for happiness independent of conditions is there.
 

Id recommend more serious meditation, listen/learn from actual masters (Samanari Jayasara Wisdom of the Masters YouTube channel is a great resource), and be weary of the ego turning psychedelic breakthroughs into beliefs. Peter Ralston calls this the Lava Syndrome. Turning breakthroughs into beliefs.

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21 hours ago, Godishere said:

In my recent awakening all I wanted was to go back to sleep and back into the illusion of life? 

And do you think it's possible to go back to sleep? Can you undo the seeing somehow? 

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much more quality of life as reality becomes deep, magical. the conceptual is left behind more and more and in its place there is reality, substance. It is like having lived in 2d and then doing it in 3d. there is no longer constant resistance to what is. you become an observer of yourself, without fear. You go from swimming against the current to letting yourself be carried away by the current. you melt into the fluid of reality, since you are that fluid. In short, you go from having a shitty stressed life to being happy, like when you were a kid.

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@Consilience well I mean of course it's conceptual. How else can I explain myself without concepts? We are talking in language. Dualistic language. A separation WE create no? Anyways, what's the difference between meditating all day and doing something else you enjoy? Isn't this all just divine perfection and self-love anyway? We are God after all.

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11 minutes ago, Godishere said:

@Consilience well I mean of course it's conceptual. How else can I explain myself without concepts? We are talking in language. Dualistic language. A separation WE create no? 

I'm saying there's a difference between conceptually believing what your original post is talking about, and realizing it in one's own experience, assuming it's even true. The conceptualization of spiritual insight is what leads to nihilistic responses. Directly realizing these things leads to liberation from suffering. If we are still suffering as a result of a spiritual insight, there is still craving/aversion going on somewhere in experience, which is essentially the bottom most level of what creates the sense of separation, ie creates the sense of a separate self. 
 

13 minutes ago, Godishere said:

Anyways, what's the difference between meditating all day and doing something else you enjoy? Isn't this all just divine perfection and self-love anyway? We are God after all.

The difference would be meditation is leading towards purification and embodied insight, whereas going about on autopilot may not be liberating. It takes a high level of mindfulness for the activities of daily life to start liberating one's view of reality into the objectivity of existential insight. It can be done yes, you are correct. But usually this takes an enormous front end amount of meditation practice and levels of mastery I doubt anyone on this forum has. 

To really answer your own question would require meditating all day and then comparing that with just living normally on autopilot. If you're serious about exploring the potential of meditation and what meditating all day is actually like/how the mind responds to such a practice, I recommend going to a meditation retreat with a teacher you resonate with. 

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23 hours ago, Godishere said:

In your experience have you found that becoming more conscious or more Self-aware has improved your life? 

Becoming more conscious or more aware is ego inflating delusional misleading conjecture. You need to step back mentally prior to  (relax, meditate, try healing modalities,therapy, etc) more than just the content of thoughts like these, and see the way you're framing it up and conceptualizing yourself. @dearleo123 is helping you and you treat him as an adversary at your own expense. 

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In my recent awakening all I wanted was to go back to sleep and back into the illusion of life? 

This is an ego hijack. The belief you’re the one who has awakenings. That is also delusional conjecture. Retrace it to the source for clarity on what dearleo123 has already shared here. It’s just opinion, but I’d sleep on it and read what he / she wrote again tomorrow, and repeat. It’ll click and you’ll be glad. 

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The more awake/conscious I've been, the universe seems to lose its wonder and mystery.. and everytime I do "awaken", I tell myself to stop seeking as I know it's just a game I'm playing on myself and I'd rather actually be "asleep" or ignorant.

There’s no you that’s more awake/conscious. You’ve been deeply mislead and seem to refuse to look at this, and the discord there in. There’s no you seeking either. You’re gravitating to this facade because you share the same ‘be a man’ egoic beliefs and perspectives. There’s thought attachment, and emotional suppression. There’s also meditation and the emotional scale. 

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I feel like I've seen enough to intuitively know that I'm everyone, everything and immortal but what now? 

What's the purpose of pursuing any further?

When there's no one else to awaken what's even the point. Seriously? 

You’re believing conjecture. You need relaxation, down time, to let go / let nonsense discordant conjecture go. I love ya brother, but the evidence is the very questions you’re asking here. If the emotional experience is anger, then it is. It’s not good or bad, it’s to be expressed, and then express the next emotion and so on. Resisting to acknowledge the conjecture is suffering, via rumination / aversion / avoiding acknowledging what you actually are feeling… which would actually result in feeling much much better, and having more ideas, plans, insights and support than you could even pack into one lifetime. 


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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@NahmI appreciate your reply man. But where am I going wrong here. If we are not God, one/infinite mind. Then what are we? 

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@Godishere

2 minutes ago, Godishere said:

@NahmThen what are we? 

I'm raising my hand over here!

"What are we?" Is an attempt to gain more knowledge and hold that knowledge as a belief. 

Notice how Nahm said something that appears to have shaken up your belief, and in an attempt to wiggle into another belief, you ask "What are we?".

Meditativeness is it. Meditativeness is taking action, not relying on people's concepts.

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@Godishere Let´s say it´s true that we are god and infinite. But do YOU know that for 100%? Do you truly know that? ask yourself honestly. If you are honest you might find no, you probably don´t, and I don´t either. So why ruminate about it? If you are so awake, what is the problem in your life? If there is tension, negative feelings, maybe a sign that you`re doing something "wrong". 

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7 minutes ago, Godishere said:

@NahmI appreciate your reply man. But where am I going wrong here. If we are not God, one/infinite mind. Then what are we? 

It’s not that you’re going wrong, and it’s not that we aren’t infinite mind. It’s that there isn’t that you, the one the thoughts are about. The you which is or isn’t awake, and or is or isn’t awake to a higher or lower degree. That is thought attachment, believing thoughts about ‘me’, ‘myself’, as ‘the one who is awake’, ‘the one who knows’, ‘the one who is higher conscious’, etc… and the remedy is meditation, expression (such as on paper, or to someone, etc) and understanding the emotions you are experiencing. 

If humbly willing, it can be noticed that it is evident in the asking, that this (-we are infinite mind-) is believed, and isn’t ‘known’ from direct experience. When that we are infinite mind is ‘known’ from direct experience - simultaneously the revelation occurs that you are love. Infinite, absolute, unconditional love. THAT revelation is (and I have to say ‘in my opinion’) what ‘it’s’ all about. Not believing, not figuring out, not believing, not being convinced, not being the ‘knower’, not being ‘more conscious than others’, etc. That’s all immature grandiose egoic discordant nonsense… but it seems (I am deducing) you’ve somehow been convinced of the opposite.

That knowing, as in knowledge, is not at all the same as the right-now feeling of as love, and that is what it’s all about.

The remedy to being mislead by egoic self serving manipulative conjecture, is the humble self-admittance that you have been mislead, and understanding how & why. Much better than that would be literally entirely letting it go. But that is not easy, and likely not possible, because that way of thinking has some momentum already. So it’s far more likely that investigating those thoughts, and inspecting ‘where is this “I” ‘ which these thoughts seem to be about, is the way to go. Aka, meditation, understanding emotions, expressing, and going and having some direct experiences. 


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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@Fearless_Bum yeah but when the veil is lifted and you can see what's beyond "ordinary life" and then you come back and try to talk about what was seen. How can you do that without concepts and beliefs? Otherwise why use the words such as love, unity, God, oneness as pointers, or why say anything at all? It's all conjecture and concepts if we want to boil it down to that?

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1 minute ago, Godishere said:

@Fearless_Bum yeah but when the veil is lifted and you can see what's beyond "ordinary life" and then you come back and try to talk about what was seen. 

@Godishere there is no beyond or ordinary life really, those are beliefs.

When you talk about what was seen you automatically turn it into deception, as it implies that something can be seen. 

Also, watch out for the trap of confusing a psychedelic experience with a veil being lifted, I suspect this is what's going on. A psychedelic experience is a psychedelic experience, nothing more. 

You may be experiencing pleasure from a psychedelic, then calling that an awakening, and then saying that anything that isn't that sucks, see the loop here? 

That's like saying "crack raises my consciousness, but once I comedown I need to learn how to live in the ordinary world." 

5 minutes ago, Godishere said:

@Fearless_Bum Otherwise why use the words such as love, unity, God, oneness as pointers, or why say anything at all? 

The answer is in your question, they are used as pointers. But the "spiritual teachers" don't actually believe in them as I suspect you are, no offense sir. 

8 minutes ago, Godishere said:

@Fearless_Bum It's all conjecture and concepts if we want to boil it down to that?

Yes correct. All conceptual baggage. 

What's really happening here is the belief in a separate self is what is sapping the energy of the living being, and this sense of strain is used to strengthen the belief in a separate self: "I'm suffering".

In meditation, the belief is starting to be seen more clearly, and in desperation, you search for concepts from others as a distraction.

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On 9.1.2022 at 1:35 AM, Godishere said:

The more awake/conscious I've been, the universe seems to lose its wonder and mystery..

This sounds like your awakening has not gone deep enough. It should become infinitely more wonderful and more mysterious the deeper you awaken. However, "ordinary life" can seem boring after an awakening, I agree. But it only seems that way because in your everyday state of consciousness you are so asleep. Do meditation and work on yourself to become more conscious on a day to day basis and life will become more and more meaningful, beautiful, mysterious.

@Godishere

Edited by Gregory1

Please do not take anything I say as an insult. I have 17 warning points and I'd like to stay on this forum.

You are Love.

1 year meditation, 1 hour daily https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/76489-1-year-meditation-1h-daily-start-at-100122/

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