Preety_India

Emotions part 2

73 posts in this topic

So anyway today was a bad day for me. 

I was generally feeling sick and tired as hell and unable to focus or concentrate. 

I said I wanted to spend time with Amaya in solitude. 

So this was my update at 3 pm and then I lost track of time. 

Update January 20, 2022 3 pm

I fell asleep after eating because I was so tired. 

Constant nightmares have drained me. 

Today I bought a perfume set as a gift for my mom. 

I did this to make her happy. Let's see if she appreciates it. 

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Emotions part 2

Emotions part 1

Important statements

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I spent 3 hours debating on the forum about a topic that is completely irrelevant to my life simply because it was a heated issue in my country and it triggered me so much. 

Any attack on Hindus or Hinduism definitely triggers and offends me because Hinduism is such a fantastic religion and most Hindus are very peaceful. So it hurts when it's portrayed wrongly. I can't believe I debated for 3 hours. 

The debate must have started at 4.24 pm and right now it's 7.24 pm. I'm kinda taken aback. 

But it's good that I'm aware of how I'm spending my time. I want to spend it in more prudent ways and not waste a drop of time. 

At this point wasting time is like wasting water. Don't waste a single drop. 

 

By the way what was I doing from 3 pm to 4.24 pm? 

I think I woke up because I remember waking up at 3 pm and not doing anything at all. 

 

Just sitting and feeling very drained.. 

I remember that. Then I wrote a bit about Vastu Shastra after constantly checking the Compass app. 

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Emotions part 2

Emotions part 1

Important statements

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I got a bit triggered and carried away by this thread. 

I had promised myself that I will work on my triggers. But I still got triggered. 

I need to be careful to not be triggered so much. It's not good for my health. 

I should understand that people are triggered by similar reasons, the way I do and I should understand their trigger as well. 

I don't have the right to question their trigger if  I get triggered as well. 

Also triggered people trigger other people. 

This means that triggered people (who have a right to be triggered because of their own personal reasons) tend to start triggering topics to trigger everyone and I shouldn't fall for the bait. Look at it scientifically. Look at it objectively. 

Yes emotions get us carried away. But control those emotions and use fair judgment 

And since I'm a secondary psychopath, I need to watch out how my emotions dictate my mental state. 

For a secondary psychopath, emotions can be very intense and strong. 

So if I get angry, it will be intense anger, if I get anxious, it will be intense anxiety. This does not mean that I am overreacting to a situation. This only means that every time I experience an emotion, it will be experienced much more intensely and strongly than the average population. My emotions are almost visceral. I get physical reactions in my body like arm pain or stomach turning when I am emotional. 

People don't understand that emotions are experienced by different people on a different scale. 

Not everyone is feeling the same level of anger or anxiety or fear. 

 

It depends on the hypothalamus and amygdala. 

People who are overly sensitive like me experience emotions on extreme levels. My trauma subsequently will be much more intense as well. 

 

 

Also I need to keep a track of 2 things that constantly upset my life or tilt it away from equilibrium and balance. 

These two things are — emotions and time..

I don't keep a good track on my emotions. And I keep a poor track of my time. 

 

Both lack of emotional control and time mismanagement are hindering my life badly. 

 

So what should I do? 

 

Control the source of emotional outburst. Control the emotion itself. Use objectivity as much as possible. Keep a constant track on the nature of my emotions and how much it impacts me. 

 

And keep a track of time. Don't mismanage Time. Manage time properly. 

 

So here I need to focus on three things —

 

—Nature of Emotions 

 

—Track and management of time 

 

—Nature of actions 

 

That will fix it. 

61zfzj.jpg

 

Quote

Emotions part 2

Emotions part 1

Important statements

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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Update January 20, 2022 9.41 pm

Bringing back balance and grounding. 

I meditated for 10 mins. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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Update January 20, 2022 11 pm

When you have spent the whole day working hard. 

      620dtv.gif

 

620gbi.gif

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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Update January 20, 2022 11 pm

When you have spent the whole day working hard. 

      620dtv.gif

 

How do i feel? 

I'm not sure. 

It seems like I just decided to go with the flow. 

Was it anxiety? 

Could be. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I finally want to relax. 

I threw up yesterday and I remember that 

 


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I saw my mom reach out to a basket and hurry to the kitchen. 

At least I felt good.. 

I woke up not feeling guilty. 

Without nightmares. 

 

 

 


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Yep this gif kinda motivates me to work hard.. 

620gbi.gif

 

61zfzj.jpg

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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Thank freaking God that I slept. 

I thought I just wasn't going to sleep. 

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I feel like relaxing and grounding myself. 

I have come to a point of spiritual maturity where I have learned to let go of all the negativity in the world. 

If someone says hurtful unempathetic insensitive things about the world, then learn to let it go. Because you can't change people and their lack of empathy. 

61y56j.gif

 

 

 

 

Important statements

Edited by Preety_India

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19 hours ago, Preety_India said:

So here I need to focus on three things —

 

—Nature of Emotions 

 

—Track and management of time 

 

—Nature of actions 

Also keep a track on the outcome of things. 

And see what aligns and what doesn't align. Alignment is key. 

Does this align with who I am and what I want? 

Are you doing things that are more in alignment with what you want or are you spending your time doing things that your life is not aligned with? 

  • Nature of Emotions 
  • Track and management of time
  • Nature of actions 
  • Measure the nature of outcome
  • Seek alignment 
 

 

I really think the quickest way to raise yourself out of whatever pit you're in is to just align yourself with whatever you think is the most important thing to do and give yourself to it and surrender the resistance from a self that would rather masterbathe smoke weed and play the Sims. If you only wait around for a spark of inspiration while needlessly suffering a meaningless life you aren't on the right page, I don't think you can find your purpose through thought, it just comes to you.

 

If you are deeply suffering you are not seeking purpose but relief, and when time comes to do the right thing or attach to relief you will attach to relief, so just take care of yourself first before you go doing anything. Get financially independant and fulfill your emotional needs. It will strangle you if you don't.

 

The possibility to be entangeled by your emotional needs and egoic triggers like ambition will completely cloud your clarity to your purpose. But I guess I would just ask myself the question: What is wrong with world? And work from that point onwards. 

 

Those are just my thoughts from where I was at a year ago and now trying to find purpose and understanding, entering my dark night and feeling alive again. I just made a yt vid bout that if you wanna check it out.

https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/76820-a-purpose-cannot-be-found/

 

https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/76820-a-purpose-cannot-be-found/

 

 

 

Quote

Important statements

Emotions part 1

Emotions part 2

Emotions part 3

Emotions part 4

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

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