Overcoming The " Quiet" Label

[Abraham]

So there I am talking to one of my friends at a cafe , a little bit later ,a group of her friends walk in and join us and suddenly " I shut down " !

I mean , It's like I lose the ability to have a conversation , ( Not that I can't , I was just having a conversation with the girl and being funny and all ) but when in a group , I just can't talk  . .  . and that's when other people say why are so quiet ? and I'll be remembered as the quiet one . . .

what could it possibly be ? I mean what's the reason that I just can't be as spontaneous and humorous as when I'm having a conversation with one person ., instead I become all logical and boring . . .( In the groups )

any ideas on how to lead a  conversation ? or how to master the skills ?

Edited January 5, 2017 by Abraham

[Shin]

How often do you socialize with your friends ?

Do you usually meet indoor (at one places), or do you regularly go at bars/clubs ?

[heisenburger]

The reason is its not because you don't know what to say, it's because you think what you want to say isn't good enough. Whenever people lock up its because they hold back things because they fear rejection. Eg around your friend you can talk but not others you don't know so well, this means there's something you want from the others, that's preventing you from expressing yourself. Is it security? To make sure you're not made fun of or ridiculed is that why you don't talk. Is it approval? You don't talk because you don't want to say something that makes them dissaproval of you? I reccomend a book called loving what is by Byron Katie, if you discover the reason you lock up, you can then use that book to release it.