PurpleTree

doing a journal out of FOMO

14 posts in this topic

So why not

haven't really used this section of the forum

I'm pretty ADD and am sometimes all over the place, so it could be useful to have a journal to see what was done a while ago

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So today i ate dinner with my mother, her partner and a friend

which is good because me and my mothers partner have/had a difficult relationship since almost two decades

but since a bit over a year ago i'm trying not to hold a grudge and forgive and let go

the dinner was fine

 

 

 

Having difficulty to sleep often, many things were tried 

at the moment i'm digging this sleep hypnosis channel "The Mindful Movement"

^^this is a great episode that i'm using to sleep later

^^ they also have a great loving kindness meditation

 

lovely voice, lovely channel, they're doing great work ?

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Often i try to tackle social anxiety, confidence issues, bad mood and so on with a phrase in my head or a mantra for the lack of a better term.

For example i'm trying to change the anxiety in my head with a thought about being thankful and then trying to feel that thankfulness.

 

The phrase/mantra of the last few days goes something like this:

"I don't know what you do or what goes on in your head or why you did such and such, but i love myself"

and then trying to feel that love

what i'm trying to accomplish with that phrase/mantra is unconditional love for myself

For example it doesn't matter if you find me cute, cool, interesting, dumb or not, i still love myself. 

don't know how long i'll keep using that phrase/mantra

?

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°* just writing some stuff down to remember °*

 

So today my confidence was off an on, was also really tired

So i tried some of those "mantras" or sentences for confidence or to evoke positive feelings within me

 

This moment is God: I've tried that sentence often recently, it helps me settle into the moment. It's similar to Echkhart Tolles "there is only the Now" etc.

There's nothing to run from: With anxiety and social anxiety it often seems as if i'm in a hurry. Running from something. But there's nothing to run from or nor towards.

I love all: With this sentence I've tried to feel that instead of the world and others being antagonistic, that we're all in this together, all is one.

 

Then at some point i've also tried to feel the presence of my grandma, like evoke her spirit within me, which also made me confident for a while.

Because my grandma was cool and artsy, a feminist and pretty. But she died when i was around 9.

 

All those things helped a little bit but nothing stabilised my confidence for good, it was still shakey. And anxiety was on and off

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Started to use the Sedona Method a bit to "release trapped emotions" as somebody talked about it in another section of the forum.

 

Thus far I kind of like it, I've tried the "Letting go" technique from David Hawkins before and other things.

What I like about the Sedona Method thus far is asking myself those simple questions. It's really simple and short. Shorter even than EFT or Wim Hof breathing etc.

But asking myself those 3-4 questions is kind of fun.

- can I accept that feeling and give it space?

- could I let it go? (even just for a short amount of time)

- would I let it go if i could?

- and when would I let it go?

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°Have been watching/listening to those a lot since yesterday and post it here to remember°

 

 

 

 

 

 

° still doing the Sedona "thing" °

On 18.1.2022 at 2:34 PM, PurpleTree said:

Started to use the Sedona Method a bit to "release trapped emotions" as somebody talked about it in another section of the forum.

 

Thus far I kind of like it, I've tried the "Letting go" technique from David Hawkins before and other things.

What I like about the Sedona Method thus far is asking myself those simple questions. It's really simple and short. Shorter even than EFT or Wim Hof breathing etc.

But asking myself those 3-4 questions is kind of fun.

- can I accept that feeling and give it space?

- could I let it go? (even just for a short amount of time)

- would I let it go if i could?

- and when would I let it go?

 

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°i don't read all the time but today i read quite a lot°

finally finished a book about Manson etc. that was laying around since summer

Chaos by Tom O'Neill, Dan Piepenbring | Waterstones

started reading a book by Ram Dass on the Bhagavad Gita

Paths to God – Love Serve Remember Shop

also started reading the way of the superior man by Deida 

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post 2222

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°* at the moment doing a round of dmsa chelation, pretty tired but i'm generally fatigued so it doesn't have to be a side effect *°

 

 

 

Edited by PurpleTree

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19 hours ago, PurpleTree said:

post 2222

Bildschirmfoto 2022-02-01 um 21.01.40.pngBildschirmfoto 2022-01-31 um 22.22.26.png

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°* at the moment doing a round of dmsa chelation, pretty tired but i'm generally fatigued so it doesn't have to be a side effect *°

 

 

 

Today is also the 02.02.2022 :) 

 

 

°about 60 hours in with the dmsa chelation

had the last few days off but i have to work later today so that wasn't the smartest because pretty fatigued

but my next opportunity with a few days off in a row will be in a few weeks and i wanted to get a first round in and see what it does°

i think i'll do two rounds of just dmsa and then introduce ala°

 

°i think soon-ish it'll be also time to fast for a while°

°i water fasted about 3 times, once 5 days, once 6 days and once 9 days or so°

°all of those times were in the last 3 years°

 

°also my keyboard arrived today°

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*Covid positive*

 

Which sucks because i was doing dmsa chelation, got a headache and body ache and felt dizzy and thought it's just side effects from chelation.

probably not good to chelate while having covid because you need the minerals and it's already heavy on the body

but i couldn't have known, also couldn't stop the chelation midway

went to work nightshift 9-10hrs, while chelating and having covid (which i didn't know yesterday)

with a headache, dizziness etc. which was f'n exhausting.

then tested today because still headache etc. and was positive

but i will survive :) and if not then it's ok, i'll be in the other realms and have a threesome with a Greek goddess and an Indian goddess with multiple arms.

 

 

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Edited by PurpleTree

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10199.gif

 

I've been using this grounding technique that glorious Nahm recommended to someone else in a topic

 

 

"1. Sit comfortably & still, and connect with your body and your senses. Ideally, your back should be straight and your body relaxed. 

- Sit still, and ‘sink’ into gravity, feeling the subtle relaxing ‘pull’.

- Allow all muscles throughout the body to fully relax & un-contract, from the crown of your head to the bottoms of your feet.

- Allow any inward clenching or tensions to relax naturally into the comforting of gravity.

2. Close your eyes, and take ten slow, deep, full breaths.

- With each inhale, imagine that you are breathing in peacefulness.

- With each exhale, imagine that you are breathing out all your worries and cares. 

3. Continuing to breathe deeply, and concentrate on feeling your feet. Feel the sensation present in the bottoms of your feet.

4. Now feel the sensation present in your hands. Feel the ‘tingling’ nature of the presence of sensation.

5. Keep breathing deeply. Continue to feel the sensation in your hands and feet. Do this for ten slow breaths. 

6. Now feel the presence of sensation throughout your whole body. Allow the presence of awareness through your entire body. Feel yourself breathing. Feel your back & bottom touching the chair. Do this for ten more breaths.

7. Continue this for as long as you like, or at least 5 minutes. "

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/grounding

 

kind of like it thus far.

 

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Also i've listened to a podcast by Duncan Trussel and Krishna Das. They talked about Karma. Usually i don't like the concept. But the way i try to use it now is, if i have uncomfortable feelings etc. I just tell myself "just burning up Karma" it makes those feelings less personal imo.

 

original.gif

 

 

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Listened to this sleep meditation/hypnosis for a few days and liked it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wofimcYoZyE  it can't be embedded unfortunately

It resonated when she said something along the lines of:

You have a body, you are at home in your body...

Because when we have anxiety, feel uncomfortable feelings or feel unhappy with ourselves or whatever we often want to get out of our body.

But now for a few days i just try to look at my body as my home and make it as comfortable as possible.

VEr126.gif

 

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